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#1 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 12:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So when dh picks up dd from preschool the other day, the teacher "Miss B" has something to talk to us about.

She pulls out this form - Sad Puppy report - detailing how dd had been sent to the director's office for misbehavior! Apparently she told Miss B to 'shut up'. As background, Miss B is a young, single, childless brand new graduate with bachelor's degree in Child Education .

Dh tells me that he's standing there kind of speechless, holding this report in one hand and dd in the other, while Miss B stands there glaring and foot tapping, waiting for some kind of a reaction. Finally he says "um, she's two years old. Ya know, two year olds say stuff like that sometimes."

So Miss B starts going on about how inappropriate dd is (in front of dd, remember), and how she has no idea where dd could have possibly picked up on such language because "we certainly don't talk that way here, Mr. blessed! We asked dd to tell us who taught her that, but she refused!" :

Around this time dh looks down at the paper, and he sees that it is signed by the preschool director on one line and 'signed' by dd on another (a sad little pencil squiggle on a line marked 'signature of child' ) !!

He interrupts Miss B and says "excuse me, but are you telling me that you dragged a two year old child into the director's office, basically interrogated her for saying something that she undoubtably hears other children saying all the time, and then forced her to sign a confession !?"

I can't even describe to you how angry I was. I haven't been able to sit down and write out this story until now because it made me too upset. We immediately started looking into other preschool options. Unfortunately the local Montessori school doesn't have any openings until January. We haven't found another school that we felt was really any different aside from this one, so we likely are going to tough it out until then.

There are many things that dd really likes about her school, fortunately. She has good friends there and several previous teachers who have been very good with her and who remain close with her. We spoke with one of them at length yesterday and she has promised to speak with Miss B and to try and provide her with more supervision as she learns how to be a teacher. I really don't see any point in talking to the director. I know from both this experience and from prior ones that she is absolutely clueless.

Thanks for listening : .
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#2 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 12:43 AM
 
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: I'm speechless. 2 YEARS OLD?!?! I'm sorry.
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#3 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 12:51 AM
 
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speechless here, too.

Is it really called a Sad Puppy report?
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#4 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 12:59 AM
 
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Childless people should not be given degrees in ANYTHING regarding children or the education of children. :
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#5 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:02 AM
 
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Unbeleivable! A 2yo is still a baby!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#6 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:02 AM
 
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wow!!!

I would take my child from that school

Then again we plan to homeschool so I don't let any crazy over educated under qualified people with my kids

Homeschooling SAHM to 3 children under 5 + one on the way.
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#7 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:04 AM
 
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: I'm completely speechless. I'm so sorry!
How terrible for your DD.
I think this is a tad passive aggressive, but I might have been tempted to tell the teacher to "shut up"
But that would be bad, wouldn't it.
Amy

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#8 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:08 AM
 
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My mom taught two year olds for many years... this is ridculous. It's ridiculous for a 10 year old! I'm so sorry this happened to your DD.
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#9 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It really was a preprinted form with 'SAD PUPPY REPORT' as the title.

We have never liked Miss B. She's been dd's teacher since the classroom switch about two months ago or so. She is this really sad, odd sort of person, sort of disheveled looking. She'd have a hard time getting hired on at any decent restaurant, for example, because she just appears unkempt. She has stringy unstyled hair and wears baggy clothing several sized too large (and she's a big woman). Her pants cuffs drag on the floor and have been stepped on so many times that the edges are frayed and ragged, for example.

When I met her the first time, she LITERALLY could not make eye contact with me when I introduced myself, because she is so socially awkward. This is such stark contrast to the other teachers who happily greet the parents as they come in the room and carry on pleasant conversations about their child. Miss B has never, not one time, said anything positive about dd. It was this strange experience for us because dd has always been this great kid whom teachers raved over. Overnight, we were now being told she was a 'problem child'.

To be honest, when I found out that dd had told her to shut up, my first reaction was a surge of relief and pride :. I was happy to hear that dd was centered enough to be maintaining a sense of self in spite of the awful negativity of this woman. I'm quite certain that she deserved to be told to shut up .
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#10 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mama Poot View Post
Childless people should not be given degrees in ANYTHING regarding children or the education of children. :
although i do agree that this fledgling teacher has some major issues, i don't think childless people should be prohibited from working in any field pertaining to children. i got into physical therapy first and foremost to become a pediatric pt, and i was a pt for 5 years before conceiving dd. there are some of us out there that are really dedicated to the care and development of little ones and do so in a kind, mindful way. granted, i believe i am a much better therapist to children now after having a child, it is not only because i had a baby, but because of all of the research that i have done now to parent in a conscious way.

blessed, the way that this incident has been handled is, in my view, appalling and i'm so sorry that you and your husband and dd had to endure that. it seems that this teacher has no concept of developmentally appropriate behavior and interactions. i'm all for this teacher receiving supervision and receiving on the job training and support, but i wouldn't allow it at the expense of my child. i hope that you are able to find a workable solution, whether this particular school is able to resolve this issue or you are able to find another place for your dd.

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#11 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:25 AM
 
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What kidspiration says, and also...to me, the very existence of pre-printed "Sad Puppy" reports is a bad sign. But maybe they are really only supposed to be used in extreme cases like habitual biting or something? Even in that case, it would seem that the way to address a behavior problem would not be to shame the child with a preprinted report but to talk to the parents (NOT in the child's presence) about whether there might be any underlying causes for the aggression. But for a TWO-YEAR-OLD telling someone to SHUT UP? : I heard a 2-year-old say "f$ck" on the playground today and although it shocked me, I can't imagine actually being MAD at a child that young for *whatever* might come out of their mouth..."shut up" is really really mild compared to what a lot of 2-year-olds come up with! I'm really sorry that this happened to you, blessed. Your DD sounds like a spunky one! Good for her!
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#12 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:28 AM
 
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Three words, until January...

Home Based Daycare.


It's a world of difference.

Mom of two girls.
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#13 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:28 AM
 
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Childless people should not be given degrees in ANYTHING regarding children or the education of children. :

Comeon, just because you don't have children doesn't mean that you don't know how to relate to them.

Just as in any field there are good and bad teachers. Really, that is like saying that people should be allowed to have kids until they have spent years with other's kids. Now don't get me wrong, there are planty of people who could do well to have to go to some classes (sadly, they would probably filled with main-stream mumbo-jumbo, but some sort of basic would be nice)

It is like saying that someone can't be a surgeon unless they have undergone surgery before.

Did I change as a teacher after I had kids, certainly, but that doesn't me I had no clue before children. It is all about the person, not the family structure
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#14 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:31 AM
 
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I have to agree with Clara's mom, I love our home based day care provider. She is truley considered a member of our family. Together this year we decided not to send Maia to 3 year old preschool (though in our community it seems like every kid goes to 3 year old preschool) Homeschooling is fairly common in our area, but people know I teach Public school. When they ask if Maia is going to preschool you can almost hear the intake of breath when she responds "Mommy and Huck are homeschooling me this year" (Huck is the babysitter)
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#15 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:32 AM
 
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I can't believe that. Poor little girl! And do you have any idea what the teacher did to make her want the teacher to "shut up"?
I'm sorry, but I think I would find any other way besides sending her back to that school.

Homeschooling mom of 2 rambunctious, loving, spectacular boys, wife to an incredible man who has been my best friend on this journey <3

 

 

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#16 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 01:58 AM
 
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Wow, that's unbelievable. You're a stronger mama than me, I'd be in her business so fast she'd wish she choose a different career path.

Mom of 3 (Evan, Trey, Saffron ) Blogs at findingsummer.com
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#17 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 02:06 AM
 
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OMG!! I can't believe that happened!!!!
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#18 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 02:06 AM
 
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OMG!! I can't believe that happened!!!! Run!!!!!
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#19 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 02:37 AM
 
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Get DD to a home based daycare ASAP. Ask around - find one that will work with you for a few months.

That is ridiculous and appalling that ANY daycare would do that.

Jenn
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#20 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 02:38 AM
 
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Um... wow... a 2 year old.... got written up.... for saying "shut up" : I am completely speechless...

love and peace.

mama to two girls and due in November!
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#21 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 02:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseselene View Post
: I'm completely speechless. I'm so sorry!
How terrible for your DD.
I think this is a tad passive aggressive, but I might have been tempted to tell the teacher to "shut up"
But that would be bad, wouldn't it.
Amy
glad I'm not the only one tempted to tell the teacher that I had to agree with your dd and teacher needs to "shut up" and also "grow up" have to say as well that I'm none too thrilled with the director for going along with this little ploy & the signed 'confession' and all...

Was this type of b.s. in the handbook when you re-enrolled her last or is this totally off the wall?
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#22 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 02:48 AM
 
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Omg there are SOO many things wrong with that situation but this just really gets to me...


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he sees that it is signed by the preschool director on one line and 'signed' by dd on another (a sad little pencil squiggle on a line marked 'signature of child' ) !!
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#23 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 02:58 AM
 
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first off, OMG!!! i would have flipped out on her. and i have to second the mention of homebased daycare. we love our dcp. we have to drive 30mins each way to drop off ds but it's totally worth it. i was having a hard time justifying going back to college (i go from 9-11 m-f) so dh drops of ds in the a.m. around 8 and i pick him up afterwards. the other day, i walked in and he was sleeping on his dcp's chest after reading a book with her. it totally melted my heart and just further affirmed my choice in dc's. plus, since he's not in a big group of kids (at most there's 4 toddlers including him) they can do more activities. they do lots of reading and coloring plus his dcp knows ASL so she's teaching him more signs AND she'll use our cloth diapers!!!! to you mama. i hope you find a solution soon.

anne, mama to Isaak (6.13.05) Joe (2.24.07) and Eli (8.17.09) wifey to J since 2002 petparent to our retired racer "Under Rated" aka Jango.  help put an end to dog racing! 
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#24 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 03:20 AM
 
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It really was a preprinted form with 'SAD PUPPY REPORT' as the title.

We have never liked Miss B. She's been dd's teacher since the classroom switch about two months ago or so. She is this really sad, odd sort of person, sort of disheveled looking. She'd have a hard time getting hired on at any decent restaurant, for example, because she just appears unkempt. She has stringy unstyled hair and wears baggy clothing several sized too large (and she's a big woman). Her pants cuffs drag on the floor and have been stepped on so many times that the edges are frayed and ragged, for example.

When I met her the first time, she LITERALLY could not make eye contact with me when I introduced myself, because she is so socially awkward. This is such stark contrast to the other teachers who happily greet the parents as they come in the room and carry on pleasant conversations about their child. Miss B has never, not one time, said anything positive about dd. It was this strange experience for us because dd has always been this great kid whom teachers raved over. Overnight, we were now being told she was a 'problem child'.

To be honest, when I found out that dd had told her to shut up, my first reaction was a surge of relief and pride :. I was happy to hear that dd was centered enough to be maintaining a sense of self in spite of the awful negativity of this woman. I'm quite certain that she deserved to be told to shut up .
There's so many red flags here... but basically... when your children are going to be effected -go with your GUT! It will tell you more than you'll believe.

I would join the others in saying -remove your little girl from this person's influence, immediately. Especially with a director like that, it won't get better & it will most likely get worse now that they've labeld her.
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#25 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 03:41 AM
 
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OMG I can't believe that I would definitely take her out of there until you can find something else suitable for your daughter, it is absolutely unacceptable that a child is treated in this manner and it is compounded by the director's approval ... as you said Sad Puppy ....... ridiculous
Hugs to you

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#26 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 04:19 AM
 
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That is absolutely ridiculous. All of it infuriated me but especially making your dd sign her sad puppy report. WTF?!?!?! At two?
Shouldn't an early childhood teacher be loving and caring?
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#27 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 04:20 AM
 
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Is there any hope to switch her to a different classroom? I understand not wanting to make a major switch to a different preschool if you're going to change again in January and there are good things there. But really, that sounds pretty awful. And awful the director would go along with it. Good grief, a 2 year old SIGNING something????? What planet are they on? Might fly in an elementary school, but not with toddlers!!!! : The fact that she has never said anything good about dd would make me nervous.
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#28 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 04:38 AM
 
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Especially with a director like that, it won't get better & it will most likely get worse now that they've labeld her.

Exactly. I used to do home daycare, and there is NO way this type of punishment is appropriate for a toddler! Your daughter doesn't even understand what happened, what she "signed," or why this is a big deal. Being in a daycare like this won't help her.

And labelling is rampant. Once your child is stickered with the label of "ADD" or "ADHD," or "noisy," or "not potty friendly," the label doesn't go away. Forever.

I hope a home daycare is feasible for you. If you were/are in my area, I'd totally offer to be your DCP, even though I don't do that as a profession any longer. (I have too large a family to be licenced for more than one child).

love, penelope

Bookworm Mama to 6 wonderkids and stepmama to one more: 22, 21, 18, 13, 10, 8 and our Z born April 2013. . Partner to my       
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#29 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 09:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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...do you have any idea what the teacher did to make her want the teacher to "shut up"?
All I know is that Miss B was telling her to come over and sit down for circle time.

If I know dd, the only time she ever acts defiant or rejecting is if she's upset about something. So my guess is that she was standing off to the side crying, and the teacher was telling her to come here. If she's upset, she'll sometimes say 'no!' or 'leave me alone!', for instance. Neither dh or I have ever heard her say 'shut up', but whatever. I'm sure she was just mimicking something she's heard from other kids, either at school or around our home.

Interestingly, when the director pressed her to tell her where she'd heard that before, dd kept saying 'Miss B'. Dd really doesn't lie or make things up, although like most 2 yo's she can get mixed up about things she doesn't understand, of course. It sounds a little odd (or maybe it doesn't), but dh and I were saying that we actually wouldn't be surprised if Miss B DID say 'shut up' to the kids at one point or other. She's very coarse, and we both have heard her speaking in very harsh, loud, and rude tones of voice to the children.

Truth is, even before this incident we had already started looking at other preschools for this very reason.
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#30 of 183 Old 10-04-2006, 10:04 AM
 
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Do you know what I was thinking as I read this? It sounds like a SKIT. From a sitcom, or SNL or something. It's so outrageously NOT age-appropriate that it seems that it should just be a huge joke.

More's the pity it isn't.
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