~~~~May 2004 Mamas ~~~~ Feelin' Thankful it's November ~~~~ - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 380 Old 11-27-2006, 12:06 AM
 
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Well, how I met and fell in with my DH is a pretty long story, but let's see if I an give y'all a Cliffs-Notes version!
I was dating my California high-school-sweetheart. He got into school in MA, I decided to "take a year off" (turned into um, how many years has it been now? ) we decided to *stay together* while he went. (but hey, if we had broken up...) a few months after he had been living in MA and I in CA, he asked me to move out and live with him. I agreed wholeheartedly, being 19 and a dork.
About a week after moving out there, we were eating dinner in a "Mexican" restaurant (remember, we were in Massachusetts at this point!) and future-DH walked by the big window we were sitting by with his girlfriend at the time. Now-ex-bf points out the window and says "Hey, that's my friend J--!" and I looked in time to see him crossing the street with his gf, and all I saw were two heads of long, shiny brown hair and big winter coats (COLD winter in March!) and I said "which one??"
A few days later we were walking around the campus, and ran into future-DH (and his gf!) outside one of the buildings and um, as cheesy as this sounds, we kind of INSTANTLY clicked. I thought he was like, WHOAH hot, and he couldn't believe my now-ex-bf could "get" a girl like me! (I was pretty tattooed even then, and I had um, quite a few piercings, many of which were on my face! I also liked to dye my hair colors not found in nature. Hehe) Apparently he thought I was exotic and gorgeous! : I honestly didn't think much more about him when we first met, just that he was cute and friends with the guy I was dating. We got along, but I wasn't "looking"...despite my tendencies to not exactly be *faithful* back then. I know! I know! I was a bad girlfriend!

Right. So over a couple of years, we talked a lot, got to be friends in our own right, and then we started going out dancing together. My n-e-bf didn't like to do ANYthing that I thought was fun during those times (drinking, dancing, clubbing, occasional um...questionable things. :Puke ) and he and I were pulling apart, already more like roommates than lovers, so I went out with f-DH a lot. We had SO much in common and he was pretty much my best friend (still is!)
When now-ex and I finally bit the bullet and broke up, future-DH and I pretty much got together the NIGHT I was newly-single (not counting the kiss we had already shared! ). Not exactly the wisest choice, but well, can I say I was young and stupid? *sigh*
I swear to the goddess, I didn't need to watch Dawson's Creek; I was LIVING that sh*t!

It took a few stops and starts here and there (we dated the same girl, bizarre love triangle indeed! Had nasty break-up with girl, explored some other things that would probably best be kept on the YG...you know how it is!) but we have been more or less together and smitten since 1998. It scares me how much I adored him at first. I think I put him on a pedestal but I've long since been cured o'THAT! I couldn't BELIEVE he wanted to date ME. Now, well, I know we're BOTH lucky.

Anyway, still going strong, he drives me crazy sometimes, he's a total geek, but he's my soulmate, if such things exist. I remember exploring some amazing parts of myself with him at my side, introducing him to new foods (he had never had an AVOCADO before me!!) talking, talking talking about all the "deep stuff" in college, on the phone for hours, up until down, blah blooty blah, and um, the uterine exercises, I think they're called here? Holy MOLY.
And also going through some really dark things together, a bad breakup, pregnancy loss, my mother and his grandfather dying, ultimately the breakdown of our relationship for a while there. We've seen the best and worst of ourselves together and well, we're still here, still in love.

I think I'm feeling extra-smoochy today because he is 30 years old TOMORROW! Weird. Amazing. Yeah. I've known him since he was *18*!

Amazing wonderful stories, everyone! I don't even care if I've heard them before. My memory is totally shot. Heehe.

Other things real quick: Rowan has a toy kitchen that DH built him last Christmas, if you recall. It is lightly stained wood, really simple & wonderful and he still loves it. I think we need to rearrange or revamp some stuff though. Same ol' food/dishes, whatever in there. But there's a chef hat! *grin* He plays with it more if he has friends here. I think DH wants to put a clock on the side of the fridge for a holiday gift this year.

I want to have a big May-mama gathering! Hearing of KK, Jacqueline, husbands and kiddos all hanging out has me all jealous! And totally psyched that some of our May Mamas get together! My friends came over tonight with thier two kids and Rowan had such a blast, I felt kinda guilty that he doesn't have many playdates lately. I gotta get on that, or let go of my guilt. Not sure which.

I am just babbling (and abusing smilies! : ) at this point, so I think I am going to bed. DH has the new Wii (Nintendo game system--DORKUS! But um, *I* got it for him for his birthday! : Yeah, I know. But he's 30, we needed to commemorate it spectacularly! Or something. By buying video games. Um, yeah. Sorry. Still have a little bit of buyer's remorse over this, can ya tell?) and I think he is staying up later tonight. Haha.

I heart you all. I hope you have a great night.
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#302 of 380 Old 11-27-2006, 12:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Jacqueline View Post
We dated almost two more years before we got hitched (yes, we were mere Juniors in college when we married). And, who'd have thunk it would have worked so well? Our 14th anniversary is Jan. 9!

And, just for the record, I HAD NO IDEA when we got together that he was going to be a priest. "uh, honey? I think I'm supposed to be a priest."
WOW youguys have been together a long time! And that's wild about him hearing the calling. I have a lot of respect for your man and his choice, please take my razzing not at all seriously! I have a friend whose DH is studying to be an episcopalian priest.


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Originally Posted by TurboClaudia View Post
i'm feeling pissy at bill (this is nothing new, of course, but is beginning to feel quite old and depressing), so it's not unlike the first time we met, when we argued about the state of health care in the u.s.

and well, umm... you know, uterine fitness exercises that elsanne loves so much, too.

gosh, i haven't thought about that stuff for a long time.


~claudia
Awww...why does it not surprise me that you met him arguing about the state of health care in the U.S.?

"uterine fitness exercises"!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Faery View Post

Anyway, still going strong, he drives me crazy sometimes, he's a total geek, but he's my soulmate, if such things exist. I remember exploring some amazing parts of myself with him at my side, introducing him to new foods (he had never had an AVOCADO before me!!)

I think I'm feeling extra-smoochy today because he is 30 years old TOMORROW! Weird. Amazing. Yeah. I've known him since he was *18*!


I want to have a big May-mama gathering!
Awwww...how very sweet. No avocado? Weird. 30? Young! Is he younger than you? I can't recall how old you are...

I have figured out that the maymama gathering either needs to happen a) HERE where it's nice weather during winter, or b) at some summertime music festival/family campout thing.
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#303 of 380 Old 11-27-2006, 08:41 AM
 
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I vote for Mexico! : Heehee. Not just because I'm a Mexican grrl and I have never been, either!

I turned 30 in January. We're both younguns! *grin*

Rowan woke us at 5am, and I haven't had my coffee yet.
I'll be back later!
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#304 of 380 Old 11-27-2006, 01:38 PM
 
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I have so told this story before, but I am loving everyone else's so much that I will play too:

Alison and I met at Girl Scout camp in the Santa Cruz mountains where I was the Outdoor Education Specialist and she was Assistant Camp Director. She was straight then and I was fooling around with the life gaurd (Australian and quite cute, as I recall). We were just friends who meant a LOT to each other for years. I kept all the letters we ever wrote to each other because I loved them so much. Alison says I would call her and tell her all the ways that my current love would reminded me of her and how great I thought that was (I don't remember this, but I know I never felt the special comfortable closeness with others that I have always felt with her). Anyway, eventually Alison tells me she's a lesbian (DUH! Even her family said, "yeah, we know." when she came out to them) and we talked about how that was for her. I was in a serious long term relationship at the time but eventually that ended painfully. About a year or so later I had nowhere to go for Christmas. After I admitted to my therapist that Alison was who I most wanted to spend time with over the holidays, I called her and basically invited myself over for Christmas. That was 1999 and we started the new year together. So, we met 11 years ago, we have been "together" for 7, and we were married in 2002.

We have the Target wooden kitchen and Eleanor LOVES it. It is primary colors, not clunky looking, but still wooden so I think it's got style.

I am SO ready for a May Mama shindig in Mexico!!!!
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#305 of 380 Old 11-27-2006, 04:42 PM
 
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we have the target kitchen which i think is freakin adorable. but isaac really doesn't play with it. he'll play with the food all over the floor but he never 'cooks' with the kitchen. oh well. he got a little metal bbq at the same time and he does all the cooking with the Q! he is ace with the tongs

i love these love stories. doug was the 'mailboy' at a big oil company that i worked at every summer when i was in college. he would walk by 5 times a day with the mail cart and i would act busy and try to look cute because i thought he was sooooooo handsome and he had the skaterboy aesthetic i so love. we went out to lunch one time with another girl who knew him. and then he asked me out one time to lunch just the 2 of us. we both were dating other people. the next summer on my first day i got in the elevator and he was in there (*swoon*) and i said 'you're still here???' trying not to sound too excited. and he asked me if i wanted to go to a dead show that weekend. hells yeah i did. we went with another friend of ours (jerry died a few weeks later). after the dead show we started to hang out every single day after work. went to another big festival in LA the following weekend. i was trying sooo hard to get him to smooch on me but no dice. so i thought 'ahh just friends' we still hung out just about every day and maybe 5 weeks later he finally got REALLY flirty after a drunken night at chuy's. we made out in front of my parents house for an hour. it was teenage love!!!! except i was 21 and he was 20. we finally, er, consummated the relationship in santa barbara (romantic!). several weeks later i talked him into moving back to college with me. i was supposed to do an exchange to utah but he said no way so we went back to arcata. neither of us mentioned the end of the summer ONCE until about a week before i was supposed to leave. that was 11 years ago this past summer. we got married in 2000 after he moved up to portland with me when i graduated. i still swoon for him. my mom was so unhappy i was living with sin and we had only been 'dating' for about 5 weeks so no one thought we'd last very long. somehow we have made it. i just felt like i could be myself with him more than i ever have with anyone else. it felt so great! (ok that was too long)


i am feeling kinda like poop. i'm having insane incapacitating headaches twice a week right now and they last for 2 days. i can't wait to get past this stage i didn't even get out of my pjs yesterday because i felt so bad all morning. took a long nap and the headache was better. went to bed at midnight and woke up at 3:30. it was back and so bad i couldnt' sleep until 6. i'm drinking a ton of water and taking tylenol which just doesn't help much. waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i took isaac to school today so i can work a couple of hours and then run a million errands and go home and clean the house. we have dog hair up to our ears and there are no groceries. and the MIL is arriving tonight to work in portland for 2 weeks. joy.
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#306 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 12:24 AM
 
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Ah, now that these stories are coming out they are feeling vaaaaguely familiar! I have such a poor memory.

Here's mine:

Feb 2001. I am getting really into Dance, in all forms--finding there an outlet for an intensity, a passion, an ecstasy that one can also find in really good sex (there, I said it.). Larry (then-dh) and I had a wonderful, sweet, supportive, platonic marriage where he was a pilot, I was a teacher. High school. Spanish & Dance (& History & English). We lived in Arizona.
I was really exploring Contact Improv Dance, a form where you maintain physical contact with a partner, then improvise. It's wild, and very challenging in many ways--mentally and physically. I searched about workshops online and saw one in San Miguel de Allende. I thought, wow! Mexico, and Dance? My kinda thang!!! So I went.
In said workshop was Viet. We had a few dances that just went BEYOND anything I had ever experienced with anyone, and it scared the living daylights out of me. I was a happily (if platonically) married woman! If you had told me then where I am now, I would have laughed in your face. No WAY would I leave my loving, wonderful husband for VIET. Ha! So, workshop ended, I went home a changed woman. I would never again be the same. I began searching in earnest for that totally intense, totally met, totally consuming sensation I had experienced dancing with Viet by dancing all kinds of things, whatever I could find a class in. I missed it. I longed for it. It wasn't about Viet. Or was it?
As a couple Larry & I decided we needed a major change, so we decided to move to Puerto Rico where I could be a housewife for a while and he would fly planes in & out of there. He got the job offer in the mail on Sept. 11--when he called American Airlines to line up training, they let him know they wouldn't be hiring after all due to the tragedy.
Meanwhile, I had quit my job, trained the replacement teachers, packed up EVERYthing in the house or sold/gave it away. The idea was that while he was in 6 weeks of training in Houston I'd go to San Miguel to take Latin dance classes & just dance my little heart out. It wasn't about Viet, I told myself.
I said, well, I still want my vacation, even if we're not moving after all. I came down here and like magnets Viet & I were inexorably drawn to one another. I had told myself I wouldn't seek him out, just maybe see him at dance classes or around town. Yeeeaaaah.
So at this point I am actively CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND. Something I NEVER EVER thought could happen; something I'd judged others harshly for. I fessed up, we split up, I came back and got my stuff out of storage (Our life was incredibly easy to break down, after years of building. Life is not as stable as you think.), I drove back down to San Miguel and have been doing my best ever since.
It has not been easy. Some of the most intense, most painful, most powerful experiences of my life; whereas my life with Larry was easy, flowed, peaceful, supported, predictable.

I often (daily) wonder if I did the right thing. Yes yes, the babies, they are wonderful. That was my destiny, my karma. But every day I miss the relative ease and stability I left behind. The car/life/health insurance (kind of). Life is such a balancing act.

On the other hand, here I am, living (what is for many) a dream. Taking lots of risks. Life is full color; a trip to the grocery store is not ever boring or predictable.

So now I am semi-seeking a man (or woman?) between the two: vivid, fun, passionate, but someone I can count on for support and working together as a team. I'm not actively looking by any means, because Viet and I are still together in the Biblical Sense. Anyway, I have a long way to go personal growth-wise before I am truly Wife Material.
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#307 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 10:44 AM
 
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Oh. My. GODDESS!!!
Excuse me for abusing some PI$$ED OFF SMILIES!!



I wrote this BIG, long, totally thorough post...and then accidentally CLOSED THE WINDOW I was working in and LOST IT ALL!!

I cannot even DEAL. ARG!

(more later when I am not so ANGRY.)
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#308 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 12:49 PM
 
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oh that is such a mega-bummer!!!! HATE IT when that happens.
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#309 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 01:04 PM
 
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I'm enjoying the meeting of partners stories... I would've posted more details, but I'm wary of posting really personal stuff in a public forum. I wouldn't mind if we moved it to the yg...

Also, I posted pix from our visit with Jacquie there.

I don't think I shared this: L started crawling during our trip (because she had access to carpet... she's back to commando crawling at home, though she's really trying to do her "real" crawling on our slick wood floors), she has 2 new teeth, and she's had a cough for a week now (took her to the ped yesterday, she checked out fine). : Nothing as interesting about the boys. (Oh yeah... Jacquie, I hope we didn't give you guys our cold this time, too???)
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#310 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 01:10 PM
 
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I'll share one other thing from "life" right now. I've become a little bit uh... carbon obsessed. We're still moving forward with solar panels (probably do the installation in January). Now I'm starting to check out biodiesel. The process of making it oneself looks surprisingly easy (well, okay, I'm very adept in a lab, but still, it *does* look very easy). I'm doing research on what we'd have to do to get going on it. We'd have to get another car, though (so I'm looking into used diesel vehicles).
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#311 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 01:14 PM
 
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Hey Mamas,

been reading, but life's been crazy for a few weeks, so I've been slacking on my posting.

I've been enjoying reading your stories! I know I've read some of them before, but I know I haven't read others, so it's been fun.

Dh and I met when we were both students, I was in college, he was in med school. I met him about two weeks or so before he was to go somewhere else to do another rotation. So we started talking, and dating. On weekends I would drive to visit him and we'd spend the weekends together. I have such fond memories of all we did back then. We knew pretty quickly that we would marry eventually. We dated about a year, got engaged, and married about a year after that. We married in 1999, so we've been marrie for 7 years, and together about 9. Sounds like a long time, but it really has just flown!

OK, so Katie's decided she wants to wear panties. WHAT DO I DO? HELP!!!
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#312 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 01:18 PM
 
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Newsflash for elsanne and anyone else interested:

I decorated my porch yesterday.

I'm not quite done yet, but when I am, I'll be sure to post some pics for your viewing pleasure.

End of PSA
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#313 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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KK- that's cool about the carbon. Sweets is working on a project researching carbon and current forestry practices. Very interesting stuff!

No baby here yet... still trying, still not getting anywhere. Lots of practice though! Many days I am thinking it's actually good that we're without a second babe just yet, especially with the lentil deep into the terrible, terrible twos. Dang, that kid can put up a fight!

Panties: let her! There will be a few days of messes, but in the end it really is better than diapers. I was on the fence for awhile, but now that we're safely on the other side of the "learning" I feel it's safe to say I'm so relieved not to have to deal with the diaper scene for awhile. (hoping I can get knocked up soon... )

I'm enjoying the partner stories too. So many different ways to meet a lover, yet each story seems like it was destiny. Awwww.

My brain is scrambled eggs today. I'm hating this TTC bit. forgive me.
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#314 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quick question- play kitchens: I wish we could afford one of the really nice ones from Elves And Angels, but alas...which play kitchen do the may mommies recommend from Target? They seem to have a couple...
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#315 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 01:38 PM
 
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Sherri--eek! Just lots of reminding and potty practice with the undies on and she'll get it. As soon as C wanted the undies is when she turned the corner and started using the potty reliably. I'm sure Sarah can be her personal cheering section! I should post pics of my dusty, pathetically undecorated porch for comparison!

Renae--ack!

KK--cool!

EL-- on the practice...that is the fun part, eh?

C has her swallow study this afternoon and I can't let her eat/drink for the next four hours--fun! I'm trying to convince her that she wants an early nap and she's like

mom of  dust.gif, ROTFLMAO.gif, and jog.gif
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#316 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 01:40 PM
 
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Oooh I cannot wait for my viewing pleasure of Sherri's porch!!
Um, just put the dang panties on. Take her to the potty every hour and a half or so. Sol is fully pantied now. Even at night, because I haven't bought diapers. Scary, but 5 nights consecutively of dryness.

CarbonQueen, I am so happy there is you to do those things. Then tell others about it, those who are interested but incapable, then maybe we can all be eco-friendly eventually!

I was going to come on here and ask all sage mamas: please tell me that I am not ruining my relationship with Sol forever n ever because I am not like her father, who is absolutely amazing with her. Please tell me she'll love me too despite the fact I don't put aside everything and put her first at all moments. I am despairing a bit because all she ever wants from me is TETATETATETA and I'm going : and it makes me want to avoid her. I don't want to have an antagonistic relationship with her.

Viet is truly amazing with her, and I am so glad he is in her life and she has someone who will be so fully present with her for hours on end. It's his gift (hence the good s-x). Sometimes I am kind of jealous, and then realize that that is the one thing he does provide as a father: play. I play, but precious little. My two parenting roles are: provider and nurturer. That's plenty, but it's just not as much FUN as his job. Which, in all honesty, I am not good at because I am so distracted with details at all times--the practical stuff. It's not a mega-goal of mine to be any different, particularly. I just want the best for everybody, y'know?
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#317 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 03:43 PM
 
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Quick question- play kitchens: I wish we could afford one of the really nice ones from Elves And Angels, but alas...which play kitchen do the may mommies recommend from Target? They seem to have a couple...
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html...sin=B000CCXF7G

I think that both Eleanor and Isaac have the same one - the Play Wonder Kitchen Play Set. It is really one of E's favorite toys to play with. We love it because we can tell her to go make supper while we cook in the real kitchen and she does.
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#318 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 05:22 PM
 
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KK-G did come down with a runny nose on Saturday, I think. But, it's just been that, nothing major. And he's acting totally normal, just stuffy. So, I caught it, too. I don't know that it was from your kids, though. There's a lot of this going around!

emmalola-the whole ttc thing is a pain, sometimes, I agree. I am right there with ya. Someday, I'll write a book, or at least an essay, describing the myriad feelings that ttc brings up for me. Currently, I don't know how to really put it into words, though, so my book will have to wait. I'm pulling for you, though.

elsanne-I have been feeling much of what you described about not being the "fun" parent lately. I too feel so caught up sometimes with the mundane (laundry, pay bills, do dishes, clean up cat puke, etc) while G is at an age where daddy is just IT! And dh does really play well with him, remaining so present. I start to play and then think of something I need to do. G is so good at playing with himself for long periods of time, too. But, like you said, not sure I really want to change it, just realizing where my strengths lie. I'm still the one who he asks for when he gets hurt, so I guess I've got that.

G is actually taking a nap on this cold, snowy day. I have to get out later today and go to work, but really would rather whip up a pot of hot soup and stay inside!
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#319 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 06:56 PM
 
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I start to play and then think of something I need to do.
: This is me exactly.
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#320 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 10:34 PM
 
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ditto on the play thing and wanting to be more fun. everything is "daddy, daddy" and "where'd my daddy go?" and "i need to lay down and go night-night with you, dad" these days. not that i mind most of the time since i am occupied with the new one, but still... i remember those days of fun and i miss them...

must go... clawing awake baby in the moby wants ma-milks...

~claudia
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#321 of 380 Old 11-28-2006, 11:29 PM
 
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you are not ruining your relationship with sol. don't worry. the nurturing parent is also totally necessary for toddler stability and happiness.

i saw my ob today. he got an u/s machine for his office...clearly his new toy. so i got some pictures! and got to see the little it with the hiccups. of course i'm thinking 'not necessary' but at the same time saying 'oh COOL!' it is not a flipperbaby (phew) and the heartrate was 143 according to that thing. of course i'm now thinking boy. and i've only been concerned about boy names. who knows. its little legs were crossed and i think it was sitting on my cervix. but i saw tiny FEET and HANDS and so cute!!!! it is amazing how proportional it is already (i'm only 14w). and it is only ~6cm from head to butt. i called dh to tell him i saw the baby and he said 'did you get pictures?????' i thought that was cute because this is a man who doesn't get overly excited about baby stuff

i hear every day 'i want to go to work with daddy!' what about MOMMY??? MOMMY has a cool job too!!! heh. daddy is just the bees knees for 2 year olds i think. which is fine because the man was chopped liver without boobies for the first 18 months

can't wait for porch pictures!!!! i'm looking forward to getting a tree this weekend. isaac talks about it all the time. we have been reading the night before christmas all year because he remembers our tree from last year.

i saw a presentation on biodiesel production from algae farming. pretty interesting. do they have retail biodiesel sales in boulder or do you have to make your own? you can actually buy it in portland now which is cool.

i hope the swallow test went well

claudia is your mom still in town or are you doing it all solo nowadays?
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#322 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 12:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow- just posting to add that the lentil is ALL about his dad these days too. I was excited about it at first, but now I just wish he'd play with both of us sometimes.
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#323 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 03:47 AM
 
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jstar: yes, my mom is still here. she is staying until just before the new year, and my dad flies in for the week of christmas and so do my sis and her girlfriend. it will be a packed house for that week.

the solo thing scares the crap outta me. not excited about that in january.

~claudia
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#324 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 11:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emmalola View Post
Quick question- play kitchens: I wish we could afford one of the really nice ones from Elves And Angels, but alas...which play kitchen do the may mommies recommend from Target? They seem to have a couple...
Love the play kitchen. We got a smaller, round one for DD1 when she was 2.5, and she loved it. By "round" I mean it had an play areas on both sides, and an oval countertop. The problem with it was that you had to keep it in the middle of the room to really play with it well (or move it all the time, but that's tricky). Then a few months later, someone gave us another one that her kids had outgrown. It's bigger, and you put it up against a wall. It's kind of likr this one but with a tall fridge on one end. This one gets used a LOT more than the other. I like that it's big enough for both of my girls to play at the same time. DD1 went through this really cute phase of playing Rachel Ray - she'd use play-doh and make plates of food and walk around saying "I'm Rachel Ray and I make 30 meals" and "Just look at the color on this garlic." Now both of the girls will play together.

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I was going to come on here and ask all sage mamas: please tell me that I am not ruining my relationship with Sol forever n ever because I am not like her father, who is absolutely amazing with her. Please tell me she'll love me too despite the fact I don't put aside everything and put her first at all moments. I am despairing a bit because all she ever wants from me is TETATETATETA and I'm going : and it makes me want to avoid her. I don't want to have an antagonistic relationship with her.
It's tough, the toddler thing. You're not ruining the relationship, it's just a tricky time. It's hard to have a 2.5 yo and a new babe. (I've done it twice, what was I thinking??) IT GETS BETTER. I thought DD1 was going to end up hating me. It gets better, you'll be able to connect and play in new and exciting ways. She'll ask you if she can wash the dishes. She'll help you in the kitchen, and actually be helpful. I think it just gets more and more fun as DD1 gets older. DD2, the 2.5 yo, I'm feeling very distanced from right now.

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I just want the best for everybody, y'know?
Of course you do.

I love all the meeting stories. Someone said earlier, they're all so different but they all seem fated... very true.
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#325 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 01:18 PM
 
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Hey Claude, do you like the Moby? I want a wrap type sling and Alison wants an Ergo. We have a New Native in Alison's size and LOVE it. I want one in my size, as well as a wrap sling and Ergo. We have a mei tai and sutemi (which I dislike). I am thinking about the Ergo as a Christmas gift for Alison.
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#326 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 02:34 PM
 
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lisa: i love love love the Moby, and so does S. he hates any laying down in a sling hold since about 3 weeks old (except occasionally the Kangaroo Korner fleece pouch which is Bill's size). i haven't even tried him in the Ergo yet because he's not a fan of the spread legs and now he's too big to put in a tummy to tummy hold with scrunched up legs. i guess i could try him sideways sitting, but the other thing i love about the moby is that i can take him out, put him in the carseat (we got another britax convertible so no infant seat to carry/lug around), drive somewhere WEARING the moby, take him out of the carseat and directly into the moby and ta-da: he's happy. if he's really tired and sleepy, he even goes right back to sleep.

~claudia
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#327 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 02:39 PM
 
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I love all the meeting stories. Someone said earlier, they're all so different but they all seem fated... very true.
So where's yours?:

I got an ergo recently, and I like it--although for quick n easy, variety of positions, a ring sling is where it's at for me. I feel all strapped in with the ergo. When she is on my back, rarely, I can feel the ergonomic love, however. That's where the ergo is best imo.
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#328 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 02:49 PM
 
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I totally second TC's love for the Moby. Everything she said! Esp the part about being able to pop 'em in & out, w/o having to re-wrap. I also love that if Jett falls asleep, I can stretch the fabric over his head, and he stay snug and close to me when I bend over to do toddler duty, his head doesn't fling backwards. I just got one a few months ago and it immediately became my fave out of all 5 slings/carriers I have.
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#329 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 02:53 PM
 
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I adore the Moby...or, er, I did. Hehe. Not like Rowan would EVER let me strap him into it now!
I have a black one (of course), which is sitting in the linen closet. I used it with my friend's boy once, but she has a mei tei and I it.

Speaking of; she is home with Rowan right now and I am at the library, fresh outta the gym and all showered and HUNGRY. I need to think of lunch, but I wanted to come and post a little sumpin' sumpin' after the loss of my post and temper tantrum yesterday morning.
And, um, I'm an Internet addict. there, I said it. No, actually, I really like being able to use the computer, headphones on, and finish a post when I start it, unlike at home when I hop up every few seconds to do...well, something else.

Jacqueline and Elsanne:
Quote:
I start to play and then think of something I need to do.
:
I have a really hard time staying "present" with Rowan during the day. Most days are filled with PBS in the morning (while I try to catch up with email or Ebay or writing, or what have you online, or while I'm in the kitchen making his breakfast and packing the diaper bag for the day), then he's accompanying me on errands in the morning, or maybe a rare story hour or playdate, and then after naptime he asks me to play, and I do...only to hop up every minute or so to start dinner, fold laundry, answer the phone, check my email or clean or clean up cat puke or...:
(wow, I just wrote a whole bunch of self-serving whiny pap! But I deleted it and moved on! Hahaha!)

I think, for me, having a hard time with Rowan at times has something to do with his needs changing. I have always felt like I am a day late and a dollar short keeping up with Rowan and what he needs, his routines, etc. When he was going through a growth spurt I never seemed to realize it until it had passed, or we'd have a week of the worst sleep of my LIFE (oh wait, I mean 2.5 years! ) and then I'd realize, hey, I need to change something...and then I'd have to change it AGAIN for good measure.
Does that make any sense? It could be hunger talking.

I realized that until recently, I had been relating to my child like he was still JUST "my baby". The boob doesn't fix EVERYTHING anymore?! When did THAT happen?!?! My kid has WANTS and DESIRES and at the same time is starting to realize that MAMA has wants and desires that don't always mesh with his and he's freaking out? I have to help him deal with that PLUS try to deal with everything else he throws my way (literally and figuratively)?? Holy crap!!!

Daddy is definitely the shiz around here too, not to the total exclusion of all else (he'll play with both of us still...sometimes), but you know what's happened here? When my friend M. comes over to watch him with her DS, Rowan just about shoves me out the DOOR. He *cries* when she leaves sometimes, he doesn't want to leave her house when we have playdates!
She parents a little different than I do. She's still in that all-encompassing-love-for-babies stage (remember, her child is barely 1) where she gives her babe her FULL attention and utter love...and she does that for Rowan too. Kinda like Gramma.
At first I was like, "he's an ANGEL for her! He LOVES her!! I'm a terrible mama by comparison!"

But you know what it is? He acts like he does for me because I'm SAFE. He KNOWS he can whine and throw things and hit me, and though I might yell at him or set him down and walk away when he does some of that stuff, I won't leave him. I'll still adore him, even when I call him Mr. Poopy.
He understands, even if he doesn't necessarily like it, that I am Mama but I also have to cook, and clean sometimes, and sometimes, I need a moment to post to my friends at MDC. *grin*
He knows he'll get my attention at some point. He still kisses me and hugs me and follows me everywhere (if he's not held captive by Blue, Steve and Elmo! and he asks for me at least once every night (though Daddy's name is the very next thing out of his mouth if Mama's not available).

I am just so full of today, mamas! I may not get to the computer again today and I guess I'm just making sure I get my daily blather on.
Sorry for the online brain-fart...I guess this is what's in my head right now. In short (too late!) I think we are all doing a phenomenal job.

I wish I could remember some of what I wrote yesterday morning. I know I wrote that I am adoring the stories, and that Elsanne, what you write just makes me love you even MORE, on a daily basis! From your siggy to your insights, you RULE.

Miss Juice, I think the kitchen play is priceless! "Just look at the color on this garlic"! that is so awesome!
DH is making a play clock to put on the side of our fridge in Rowan's kitchen. We rearranged things in there recently and it seems to have made a big difference in how he plays with it. Actually, he was playing with M. in the kitchen when I left the house this morning.

Okay, I think my "runner's high" is about to wear off and I NEED FOOD.

I hope you all have a wonderful day. Thanks for listening to me ramble. (and abuse smilies! I'm a smiley abuser! Bow down!

(I forget who dubbed me "most likely to abuse smilies" but it makes me laugh everytime I think of it. You should see me on forums where the use of smilies is "limited"! I always have to go back and delete stuff! Haha!)
Okay, really, bye.
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#330 of 380 Old 11-29-2006, 02:56 PM
 
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Hi mamas-

Feel out of the loop. Busy busy busy.

I'm fasting today 'cause of a lovely procedure tomorrow. Hunger.

Re: carbon: We try. We have one car that we rarely drive (weekends mostly). When it dies, our next car will be a (bio)diesel or hybrid. Love Portland for the biodiesel stations. We are putting in radiant heat floors next summer, with an on-demand water heater, and eventually roof solar panels when we get the $$$. Just got foam insulation in the walls.

Speaking of petroleum products, our play kitchen is a plastic behemoth that we got free from a friend. Despite its political incorrectness, Lily likes it and does quite a bit of cooking and stuffing of things into its various orifices. I do like those Target ones for style, though.

Lily does not really have a strong parent preference going on. She switches back and forth hourly. DH is definitely more of the playful one, but we are both good at being with her in the moment and being silly. Other times we are both busy and she gets a lot of encouragement to play by herself while we work. Overall our roles are really pretty much equal in a lot of ways. Since he works at home and I don't, he is around more and I get to just play with her in the evenings. I don't know. I guess there's just not an easy way to delineate our roles. We can both be playful and both be "strict."

Um, what else. I loved the Moby for months 1-6 of Lily's life. Love the Ergo from months 12-present (we got it at 12 months ). IME, they serve different purposes and were both indispensable. I would give you my Moby but I already gave it away to a women's center, sorry.

LOL at porch pictures. I so want to finish my cute little fairy flower lights I am working on and put them up, but honestly it won't happen before we leave, and then it will be too late. It will be all I can do to finish up the few gifts I am making and get them in the mail.

OK, off to class.

TTFN

Sarah
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