my son the barbarian - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 04-29-2003, 03:56 PM - Thread Starter
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my 2 almost 3yo loves to be physical. He tickles, tackles, pushes, pulls and I'm afraid of getting kicked out of play group because of it. He's always been physical but in the last couple weeks it seems to have gotten out of hand. We talk about the rules before we see his friends. He knows that I expect him to play gently- no tickling etc. but it doesn't take long before he's on top of another play mate and then I peel him off, put him in a short time out, and have him apologize to his friend. What really gets me is that as the playdate goes on and his physical behavior doesn't stop my frustration escalates and I feel like I must be doing something wrong because he's not listening to me.
I'de like to write more but the little wwf star is demanding something from the kitchen!
-please tell me I'm not the only mom going through this
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#2 of 7 Old 04-29-2003, 04:51 PM
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#3 of 7 Old 04-29-2003, 05:06 PM
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You know, some kids are just more physical than others... we have friends with 2 sons and one is very physical and the other isn't. It's just their way.

My ds will be 3 in August and we discuss what is expected when we go anywhere. He needs to be reminded about the consequences of his behavior before, during and if the behavior shows up. Positive feedback helps remind him too.

Although it is hard to remove ds from a store or playdate before he's really had a chance to have fun, I will do it so that he learns what I expect. Sometimes we go back in and try again but other times we just leave. He is sad, I am sad and we learn that perhaps it was too close to his naptime or he was affected by someone else at the activity. He is very articulate so I can usually figure out what it was.

I just read in Mothering Magazine how some children are affected by the food they eat so you might even keep track of that. We are already pretty careful but playdates include sharing food sometimes and you never know what's in something unless you have the package right there.

It take so much energy and patience when you think you've sent the message and it isn't getting through but it's better to keep the message consistent so they eventually stop testing every time you go.

Hang in there,
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#4 of 7 Old 04-29-2003, 08:57 PM
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Think this belongs in the Toddler Forum...

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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#5 of 7 Old 04-29-2003, 08:59 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you so much for your feedback. I think his diet does affect his behavior and unfortunately Easter caused a chocolate fest at our house this year. I would love to hear more from other mom's in the same boat.

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#6 of 7 Old 04-30-2003, 10:05 AM
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I have a physical girl. She can hang with the toughest of boys and never comes whining to mommy. That said, it can be quite challenging to get her to play nicely with the more docile children. I love her spunk, but sometimes I run out of ideas. I find it more relaxing to pair her up with children of a more similar temperment. At least then, I'm less fearful someone will get hurt. Talking about expectations has been unfruitful as of yet. Her diet is very good as are the diets of the other children in our playgroup. Everyone is very careful to bring organic fruits and veggies and good quality homemade food so that's not really a worry either. I really think it is temperment. I do find it works better not to get her excited before we go. We always talk about who will be there and what she can play with. All the children do better when we go to a park rather than being cooped up inside.
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#7 of 7 Old 05-04-2003, 01:01 AM
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my gosh! this thread is for me!!!

my 2 1/2 year old is such a physical boy. he is constantly (and i really mean this--constantly) climbing, jumping, talking, tickling, squealing, running, etc. he is a very affectionate child, and is sweet, but he does not understand how to calm down.

i am going to try the feingold diet i read about in this month's issue, but i don't think it will make a huge difference because we don't eat junk food anyway...

as far as playing with other children, i dread it. i cannot tell you how many times we have left a park or playground after being there only a few minutes because he hit or was throwing sand or tried to tackle and hug this little girl who obviously did not want a hug.

we talk about what is expected. we talk before, during, and after.

i have no ideas, just sympathy.

i am hoping his temperament will serve him well as an adult--i am just hoping i make it through his childhood and adolescence with my sanity!
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