You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-09-2006, 06:58 PM
 
spughy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 5,249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewCrunchyDaddy View Post
...That's Not My Puppy... becomes deeply philosophical after its 350th reading.
: Oh, so so true.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

spughy is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-09-2006, 07:03 PM
 
Moochie Mamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Somewhere on my mountain bike.
Posts: 392
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
... you learn that tampons make great little mice to play with

... the dog has had to get used to his food and water being mixed together rather than in separate bowls
Moochie Mamma is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 07:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
NewCrunchyDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Burrow
Posts: 2,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moochie Mamma View Post
... the dog has had to get used to his food and water being mixed together rather than in separate bowls
You have doggy stew at your house too?! :

how about...

YKYtPoaTW...
...it seems that the comic strip Baby Blues has a spy camera somewhere in your house.

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

NewCrunchyDaddy is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 08:27 PM
 
mimiharshe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,886
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
: These are great!
mimiharshe is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 08:40 PM
 
wsgrl84's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 821
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love this thread! What a great idea!

- when you watch Blue's Clues and find yourself singing along to the dorky guy

- when you find yourself saying "truck" a billion times a day and your boy insists on calling it "bus"
wsgrl84 is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 09:51 PM
 
jazzpurr88's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 987
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
when your calling PetsMart to ask them how long can fish live with milk in their water and will cheerios, spaghetti o's, cat food.... anything not fish food related kill the fish if said fish eat any of it. (so far so good...no dead fish)

Before you can take a shower you have to take 101 plastic toys and doodads out of the tub so you won't slip and break your wrist trying to kick them with your foot and keep soap out of your eyes. All while being asked 1000 times what are you doing mommy from DC on the otherside of locked bathroom door. Then yelling for DH to come unlock the door get you dressed, call the sitter and take you the ER.
jazzpurr88 is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:05 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by an_aurora View Post
...when anything goes missing, the first place you look is the drawer under the oven.

...you look up from washing your face just in time to see DD dunk her toothbrush into the toilet and stick it back into her mouth, and you don't throw up.
If it makes you feel better someone did a study and found out that toilet water is cleaner than ice from fast food restaurants .

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:13 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
... you can't allow your ds to feed the dog because he'll eat her food instead.

... your 3mo old is sticking her tongue in and out with a raisin on it.

... there is a cowbell on your refrigerator, not because you like country decor, but so you can tell when you ds sneaks into the fridge while you are watching tv.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
NewCrunchyDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Burrow
Posts: 2,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by i'mmykid'$mom View Post
If it makes you feel better someone did a study and found out that toilet water is cleaner than ice from fast food restaurants .
:Puke

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

NewCrunchyDaddy is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:17 PM
 
*Devon*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: surrounded by Love
Posts: 2,065
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
These are hysterical!!!

And hey i'mmykid'$mom... you always need more cowbell!
*Devon* is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:17 PM
 
Oka-san's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cultivating my potato garden
Posts: 738
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
when you have to check he VCR for cds before putting in a movie.
Or when you have to get a tampon out of the VCR slot before you can put another movie in. Wrapped, but still... :

Aaaaaand... when you find your wrapped tampons have another use, that of providing entertainment when you have to use the bathroom and have to shut your kid in there with you. Out of box, into drawer, out of drawer, into box.

And when you realize you may be embarrassed one day if you need to explain to DD that she went throught a tampon facination...er... period. Yup!

"Mama, thank you for my little brother!" DD 7/05 DS 6/09
Oka-san is online now  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:22 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by devonc View Post
These are hysterical!!!

And hey i'mmykid'$mom... you always need more cowbell!
laughup

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
NewCrunchyDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Burrow
Posts: 2,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by devonc View Post
These are hysterical!!!

And hey i'mmykid'$mom... you always need more cowbell!
I didn't know that toddlers were such big fans of BOC.

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

NewCrunchyDaddy is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:31 PM
 
Cujobunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KayasMama04 View Post
When you can catch vomit in one hand and continue to eat

Amanda - wife to DH Kellyjog.gif, Mummers to Trentreading.gif born 03/03/05 Bridgetdust.gif born 08/08/07 and a IT'S A BOY! Kennedy babyboy.gifborn 02/20/11!
Cujobunny is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:34 PM
 
AlishasMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 7
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
... when you bend over in the middle of a huge presentation in class and two soothers fall out from between your boobs !!!

THis thread is hilarious ! i am peeing myself laughing, trying not to wake DD who fell asleep next to me. They are all soooo true !
AlishasMommy is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:40 PM
 
bjorker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 4,067
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
...you pull a troll and a toy car out of your coat pocket while you're at work.

I felt like a crazy person, sticking my hand in my pocket for keys and instead pulling out a pink-haired troll. There were co-workers present, one that I don't really even know, and I doubt she knows that I have a child. :

This also happened to DP at work with legos in his pants pocket.

Weirdo Mama to amazing Aurelia, age 9 & Ember Roslyn, age 3!
bjorker is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:45 PM
 
bjorker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 4,067
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by emma_goldman View Post
You learn how to take out your contacts in the dark while your toddler learns how to turn the light on and off again in the bathroom!
OMG!!!! I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!!!

Seriously, I relate to so many of these... I wouldn't have thought it was that much the same. Tripping over the letter K in the dark? Been there, I'm sure. There are foam letters all over the house...

Picking cereal out of the bath? I'm not sure I've done cereal, but I've removed countless other things. Soggy toilet paper rolls, dolls, A BOOK (!!! not happy about that one !!!), etc.

Silly kiddos. This is funny.

Weirdo Mama to amazing Aurelia, age 9 & Ember Roslyn, age 3!
bjorker is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
NewCrunchyDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Burrow
Posts: 2,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congratulations ... we're a "hot thread" now - we got the little red envelope! Who knew you could unite over the stupid stuff too! :

YKYtPoaTW...

...you know all the words and timing to "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard" because that's what puts DS to sleep for some reason.

( but this LEGO spoof of "Hobbits/Isengard" is hilarious!)

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

NewCrunchyDaddy is offline  
Old 12-09-2006, 10:52 PM
 
Heffernhyphen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 1,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When you and DS spend over two hours at the grocery store because he has to visit the lobsters and check out all the birthday cakes and stir the unshelled nuts and help fill the cart with things you never buy (like frozen bread dough and burritos) and snack on 14 different items. Then, when you finally get halfway through checking out, cookies falling out of opened bags and a trail of Craisins all the way back to aisle 4, he suddenly says, "Me go pee!" So you desert your groceries and run to the nearest rest room. Groceries will wait, toddler pee will not.
Heffernhyphen is offline  
Old 12-10-2006, 02:33 AM
 
an_aurora's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Palmer, AK
Posts: 6,401
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
--Every small tidbit that is found (cotton balls, cheerios, etc) is "hot" and needs to be blown off before being played with...
Yours too? Must be the age

Also, YKYtPoaTW...you see a post called "My DC swallowed a magnetic letter" and your first thought is 'I hope it was an 'i', that would be the easiest to pass'...and then you and your DH have a conversation lasting 30 precious naptime minutes about the pros and cons of each letter.

CPST & mom

an_aurora is offline  
Old 12-10-2006, 02:39 AM
 
jilly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: the great white north
Posts: 1,285
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
. . . when you refer to your sewing machine as "the white tractor", your shower door has become a drive thru window and you address your child in public as whatever kind of creature they happen to be that second: "Yes, the kitty can give the card to the lady", and you accidentally refer to your dc's snowsuit as a "spacesuit" to adults

. . . when running 3 errands takes you two hours

. . . when you have to eat wooden "ice cream" a thousand times a day and say "yum, delicious" with decreasing enthusiasm each time

Jill , mom to Andrew (09/04), Aaron(01/07), and Emma (11/09)
jilly is offline  
Old 12-10-2006, 03:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
NewCrunchyDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Burrow
Posts: 2,629
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by an_aurora View Post
Also, YKYtPoaTW...you see a post called "My DC swallowed a magnetic letter" and your first thought is 'I hope it was an 'i', that would be the easiest to pass...and then you and your DH have conversation lasting 30 precious naptime minutes about the pros and cons of each latter.
:

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

NewCrunchyDaddy is offline  
Old 12-10-2006, 08:23 PM
 
Greenmama13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a great thread! I don't feel so very alone now in my messy, crazy house!

how about...

.... when you have fingerprints that go halfway up your fridge.

....when walking through your living room is like a minefield.

... when all of your kitchen cabinets on the bottom are full of toys (or empty!)

...when you can recite your child's favorite books to him in the car, while out shopping, .... (Dr. Seuss"s ABC book, Goodnight Moon, etc...)

Mama to 8 yo ds and 4 yo dd.treehugger.gifhomeschool.gifjumpers.gifbellyhair.gif
Greenmama13 is offline  
Old 12-10-2006, 08:41 PM
 
lafemmedesfemmes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: lawrenceville, ga, usa
Posts: 468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenmama13 View Post
...when you can recite your child's favorite books to him in the car, while out shopping, .... (Dr. Seuss"s ABC book, Goodnight Moon, etc...)
hah! i recite dr. seuss's abc book when i'm ouching, i mean, combing ds's hair! i'm usually finished by "the quick queen of quincy and her quacking quackeroo".

christina

meafro.jpg, and dhyikes2.gif, -- parenting joy.gifsince 2004, and bouncy.gif since 2007.
"IF YOU ARE NOT OUTRAGED, THEN YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION." signcirc1.gif
lafemmedesfemmes is offline  
Old 12-10-2006, 08:47 PM
 
tsfairy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 1,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
... when DH wants mac & cheese for lunch, and he asks me "where is that box that was in the pantry?" So I point under the coffee table and DH doesn't bat an eyelash.

... when I find my toothbrush stuffed in the sofa.

Mama to two crazy boys (8/05 & 9/07) and happy wife to one wonderful hubby.
tsfairy is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 03:04 AM
 
alliteration's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 219
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You know when you are in the room with other parents and you start reciting various children's books by heart "good night moon", "Duck in the truck."
The only music stuck in your head is "thomas the tank engine" which you find yourself whistling at work, and bob the builder. You have also invented alternative lyrics to each of these songs.
My favorite, "bob the builder, can he market? Bob the builder, yes, he can!"
alliteration is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 07:30 AM
 
Kelly1216's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 993
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dog food has become a perfectly acceptable alternative to dinner for you dc. Why bothering trying to stop them, they'll just eat it anyway.

You don't bother vacuuming more than once a day because the Cheerios that you dc just spilled will be a good snack fo her in about an hour.

You know what restaurants and stores don't have changing ables and refuse to frequent them b/c of that.

Wife to D (12/03) and totally smitten Mama to DD (4/05) DS (2/09) and expecting DD#2  6/23/11
Kelly1216 is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 08:22 AM
 
Sierra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,364
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
You know what restaurants and stores don't have changing ables and refuse to frequent them b/c of that.
Not only changing tables, but we also are super aware of...

which restaurants are on the quieter side (i.e. if ds starts yelling, it won't just blend into all the other noises)

which restaurants have the most stuff to look at and the most stuff to mess with (we have a cute little local diner here that has a little play area for kids with toys and stuff, for example)

which restaurants have potted plants, framed art, or other delicates within a short arm's reach of its tables

which restaurants have enough room for an impatient kido to get up and walk around while waiting for food (or during a meltdown after the food has arrived)

which restaurants tend to run out of high chairs or boosters, and which do not

which restaurants have outdoor dining patios (our favorite, in the warm months, is a restaurant here where the dining patio is over the bay, and slightly tilted...we request a table by the lower portion of the tilt so that if ds spills his water, it just runs into the bay )

which restaurants have only junk food on their kids menus, and which have some relatively healthier options

which restaurants either don't mind spilled water (or give kids cups with lids, that is to say, extremely *secure* lids...and still don't mind if the lid comes off and the water gets spilled)

which restaurants are frequented more by an adult-only crowd, and which are frequented by families

which restaurants have staff that look at food that is dropped on the floor, and give the parents a dirty look, and which ones have staff that say things like, "That's okay. We're a family restaurant." Or, "Isn't that one of the great things about eating out-- you don't have to do the cleanup?!"

which restaurants have generally child-friendly staff and which don't

which restaurants respond the most quickly when your child has a mid-meal meltdown and you have to rush out, which means you also need to get your bill paid as fast as possible

which restaurants will bring some child-friendly food (even just crackers, but better yet, wheat rolls or cornbread or something) to the table when you first sit down, so your very hungry child isn't going nuts waiting to eat while you try to track down a staff person to hunt down some crackers


Any others I forgot??

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
Sierra is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 12:12 PM
 
SomerG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
...when you hear your cell phone ringing, and have to go dig through the trash can to find it.

...when you see an animal of any kind, you point and say, "look at the woof, woof" even if your ds is not with you.
SomerG is offline  
Old 12-11-2006, 12:25 PM
 
Autumn Breeze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: with the Geek in the Pink
Posts: 14,936
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your coffee table is in the corner, flanked by two sofas, so that the toddler can't get on it.

AND, that's where you put your Christmas tree. (can you tell I've parented a toddler before...)

You take your bed off the frame so that said toddler can climb up and down at will during the day.

~Autumn~   Mama to whistling.gif (2001) and hearts.gif(2005) partners.gif madly in love since '99 
Autumn Breeze is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off