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#121 of 940 Old 12-13-2006, 08:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by aran View Post
... when you know to check your shoes before putting them on - for toys, crayons, or DC's shoes stuffed inside yours.
I'm still learning this one...

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#122 of 940 Old 12-13-2006, 09:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lafemmedesfemmes View Post
trackball mouses were very much a pre-baby purchase, i promise you! and we both like them so much that we're willing to put up with the occasional (okay, more than occasional!) hunting down of wayward balls. though it would be nice if we could get our hands on replacement balls...

christina
Ah, check out some older office buildings when they close down, you might grab a few mouse balls there.

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...your kitchen garbage now hangs off the pantry door 5 feet up.
Yep, ours sits on a kitchen chair.

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"... when you keep your remote controls in ziplock bags so when they are put in the toilet, you don't have to buy a new one"




...how about when that idea strikes you as more brilliant than the discovery of electricity.

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#123 of 940 Old 12-13-2006, 09:26 PM
 
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these made my day! I'm laughing until I cry!


you say "uh-oh" and your dd asks "mama's milk letting down?"

You lose the presentation you were working on because of all the buttons your child could have pushed on your laptop, she chose the power button!

You play doctor and one of your patients is a sick toy box

dd starts telling YOU what things are dangerous and to sit properly on the chair you're lounging in..

You help your child collect all the 'princess' ornaments, including the bunny with the kite and the mouse playing a matchbox piano, and find a blanket to cover them all up inthe crib, then tiptoe out so they can sleep...

you find yourself sipping pretend tea with your mom, AFTER dd has already left the room!
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#124 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 10:01 AM
 
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You say out loud "mama has to go poo" even when no one is around.

When someone IS around when you are pooing, it is a 2 1/2 foot tall person handing you microscopic scraps of toilet paper and you say "thank you" for each one.

Proud mom to superhero.gifds2 (7/05), angel2.gif ds 1 (born into heaven at 38 weeks 11/03), and 5 more angels angel.gif (4/02) angel.gif (7/10) angel.gifangel.gif (11/10) angel.gif (11/12)

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#125 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 11:35 AM
 
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Your DD happily informs anyone who will listen that "Daddy kicked that hippo's butt. ALL GONE!" ever since she decided that a stump in the woods was a hippo and that she was afraid of it. Daddy hauled it away one day during naptime & then (not thinking about the whole parrot phase of course) told her "I kicked that hippo's butt. He's all gone now!".

Holly
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#126 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 03:24 PM
 
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...when every walk up the block is accompanied by a detailed narrative on all the places where a cat has ever been seen, "Maow!" directed at all visible cats, and announcements of "Cat in now!" while flailing to point at every window in which a cat has ever been seen and "Go dat way!" while flailing to point at every alley down which a cat has ever fled.

...when every set of objects joined together in a line and every moving linear image (such as a scrolling sign) is a "toot toot tain!" and this phrase is repeated at increasing volume until you agree. No amount of explanation of what the thing actually is will satisfy; you must agree that it is a train.

...when you find yourself referring to your "eye-tops" because that's what your toddler calls your contact lenses.

...when you are at work, using longitudinal data from Phase A, Phase B, etc., and each letter gets the corresponding part of Dr. Seuss's ABC stuck in your brain. (I guess this is an improvement over when I was giving birth and found myself thinking some kind of confused thing about the "Phase B push" needing a correction to its algorithm.)

...when you and your partner find yourselves singing any phrase that has the right rhythm to the tune of either "If You're Happy and You Know It" or "The Farmer in the Dell".

...when you wish you had that machine the Cat in the Hat uses to clean up.

Mama to a boy EnviroKid treehugger.gif 9 years old and a new little girl EnviroBaby baby.gif!

I write about parenting, environment, cooking, and more. computergeek2.gif

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#127 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 03:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by EnviroBecca View Post
...when you find yourself referring to your "eye-tops" because that's what your toddler calls your contact lenses.
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca View Post
...when you and your partner find yourselves singing any phrase that has the right rhythm to the tune of either "If You're Happy and You Know It" or "The Farmer in the Dell".
I do that all the time: just make up lyrics that fit tune, meter and rhyme. :

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...when you wish you had that machine the Cat in the Hat uses to clean up.
Amen to that!

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#128 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 04:01 PM
 
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You discover one morning dc dragged the potty all the way from the master bath to the formal living room & you don't bat an eye. Because you're late for work, you leave it there. DP doesn't bat an eye upon return 9 hrs later.

You find puzzle pieces #3, 6, 8 and 9 on your closet floor. The other puzzle, the one with the dancing foam people, lost three dancing men when dc learned to walk months ago. You will never find them.

Even late to work, you feel compelled to straighten the puzzles and replace the missing pieces just to keep SOME semblance of order in your life.

Guests are greeted by the sight of miniature cars, rocking horses, etc. neatly piled in one area of the living room the moment you open your door. And that's after you've cleaned the house.

Proud WOHM veggie mom to Alina 7/29/05 & partner, Jackie, since 2001, m/c 1/2009
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#129 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 05:00 PM
 
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When you hear "Jingle Bells" and think of Elmo.

Mom to DS 5/05 and DD 9/08
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#130 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 05:51 PM
 
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When it's all you can do to stop yourself from yelling, "RED BEETLE CAR!!" as you drive around with a coworker.

When you have little plastic animals in every pocket, purse, coat, and bag. They regularly go through the wash in your work pants, to be discovered at random moments.

When you and your DH still use the funny mispronunciations your toddler doesn't use anymore ("corn on the bob").

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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#131 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 06:00 PM
 
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I have not laughed so hard in weeks!

My thought: You know you are the parent of a toddler when even mundane tasks seem kind of fun b/c your dc helps you see things in a new light: my dd calls the mop our "kitchen flower'! I love this! I actually like to use it now just so she will say it!
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#132 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 07:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Zuri'smom View Post
You lose the presentation you were working on because of all the buttons your child could have pushed on your laptop, she chose the power button!
D'Oh! I am all too familiar with this one.
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#133 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 07:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by trini View Post
You say out loud "mama has to go poo" even when no one is around.

When someone IS around when you are pooing, it is a 2 1/2 foot tall person handing you microscopic scraps of toilet paper and you say "thank you" for each one.

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#134 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 07:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by spughy View Post
I haven't heard the pi thing either. But, how else would you know the circumference of the wheels on the bus?
OMG! :Yeah, I've never heard the Pi reference, either. But You've got a good point!

I've got a few to add...

...When you tell your DH that you'll be having Yoogles for dinner and he knows exactly what you mean. Yoogles, as in: spaghetti yoogles.

...When your DC comes up to you with red stuff all over her face saying she's got "owies" and you frantically search the living room for what could have possibly hurt her, only to discover that the source is actually the small bowl of pomegranate seeds she popped all over the place.... on your newly cleaned carpet. (Is there a smiley that winces??)

...When you can do almost any domestic task while and at the same time singing the "Augustus Gloop" song from Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" AND doing the Oompa Loompa dance. You've even been know to throw in your own special moves. :

...DC brings you lego (or anything else, for that matter) "cakes" that you have to pretend to eat, only about a hundred times a day.

...The words, "Honey, the kids are asleep..." have practically become foreplay.

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#135 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 07:31 PM
 
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(I didn't have time to read the whole thread, so forgive me if these are repeats)

-- When you take your wallet out of your purse to pay for your drinks on girl's night out, cheerios fall out onto the bar

-- you find yourself accidently eating with a toddler fork and plate

-- your husband tells you (quietly) that you're humming the tune to "Banana Phone" by Raffi in line at Whole Foods

-- You watch your child eat a cracker that has been on the floor since lunch time yesterday without even flinching

whoops babes up... gotta jet.
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#136 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 07:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by muckemom View Post

-- your husband tells you (quietly) that you're humming the tune to "Banana Phone" by Raffi in line at Whole Foods
Heh. In my case, it's "you say nothing as your husband actually *sings* "Banana Phone" while in line at the grocery store, and refrain from grimacing as he makes up his own lyrics to it."

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#137 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 08:19 PM
 
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-when you hop OVER every line, crack, bump, or imaginary spot in the parking lot on your way into the store, yet INTO every puddle, however small, because oyur child thinks water is just hte most fascinating hting in the whole wide world. Then wonder why those people are looking at you that way.

-when you routinely say things like:
'mommy is not food'
'the kitty is not food'
'your car is not food'


-you can actually manage to sound excited while saying htings like 'yes that's mommy's poop! Do YOU want to flush the toilet this time? Bye bye poop!' or 'WOW! did you see all that dirt?!'

-you find a still sealed can of tuna sitting on top of the cats food dish. how thoughtful, trying to give the kitty a treat

-putting on shoes is a real adventure, you never know what you will find!

-an adult needs a potato masher or spatula. if it is not in the drawer or dishwasher, the next logical place to look is behind and/or under the couch. you don't rinse it off before using

-you actually feel flattered when complimented on your horse noise during this recitation of 'moo, bah, la la la'.

-when asked for gift ideas for your child, you tell the person that this skein of yarn has lasted weeks now. So what you can't move the laptop because the cord is all tangled up in yarn, along with several stuffed animals, a baby doll, cars of varying sizes, and a book.

-you get to hear about every single plane and helicoptor that goes over your neighborhood. Every plane is a 'big one!' and 'up high!', worthy of severl minutes conversation. Did I add that you live under the flightpath of a major airport in a destination city :
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#138 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 08:51 PM
 
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you literally have at least 10 containers (ours are ziploc bags) of wipes floating around the house... somewhere

trying to eject a video tape.. only to find that the reason it wont come out is because there are french fries AND AA batteries blocking it:

dc HAS to give snook the high five at the end of "big world" or you must suffer another meltdown

you are only allowed to watch "cars" because anything else just wont suffice

you are walking to the kitchen and spot a straw on the floor... you pick it up and turn the corner only to find that he has dumped the whole container of 200+ straws all over the kitchen

you have to put a baby gate behind your computer desk because its fun to play with the surge protector button... but only when mommy or daddy are on the computer

you take out wet clothes from the washer only to find you have also washed a binky and X number of cars (always varies with me)

you have a glass dining table but must keep a table cloth on it... it will NEVER stay clean.

you have to bungee cord the kids closet door shut... :

I'm sure there are more... there always are.

Crys - mom to DS, C (6/04) expecting twins 2/23/13 joy.gif

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#139 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 09:42 PM
 
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.........you have to explain to your Dad (who just showed up unexpectedly) why his granddaughter is wearing your thong panties on her head.

.........you hear the question, "your STILL nursing!?" what seems like a hundred times a week.
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#140 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 10:14 PM
 
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... you know exactly how long a cell phone has to dry out before it's usable.

... your kitchen chairs are attached to the table with carabineers and luggage straps.

... you do the bouncy bouncy hip jiggle and sing "Jig along home" in the checkout line, only to realize that ds is at home with dh, not on your back in the Ergo.

... you know the release date of the next Dan Zanes CD.

... the word "gymnurstics" is part of your vocabulary.

... you lick your child's food-covered hand when you don't have a wipe handy. Regularly.

... you successfully stare down the guy at the airport who looks disapprovingly at your beautiful nursing 16 month old.

... you say night night to the bottle of lotion every night.

... you laugh in the face of the well-meaning pediatrician you meet at a party who offers to rinse off the toy your ds just dropped on the floor.

... you're having a quiet moment on the couch when a little finger aimed at your nostril creeps into your peripheral vision.

... you've ever taken apart a laptop to rescue the hard drive after an Unfortunate Incident with a cup of tea.
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#141 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 10:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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... you're having a quiet moment on the couch when a little finger aimed at your nostril creeps into your peripheral vision.
Or your ear. I made the mistake of once folding my ears (so that they looked like mouths) and then made one "bark" and the other "meow." DS can't get enough.

Or your nose. Daddy has an AHOOOGAAAAA! nose. DS loves the AHOOOGAAAAA! nose. Daddy's nose is one big bruise.

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#142 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 11:29 PM
 
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OMG these are hilarious.

I have a few:

*When you find yourself rocking the shopping cart back and forth, back and forth....even when you're by yourself!

*When you know exactly how to position the blow dryer to dry out the remote/cellphone/telephone that has landed in the toilet (or bathtub) and how long it takes to dry before you can use it without being electrocuted

*when your kitchen garbage pail is up on a folding chair that is propped backwards against the wall

*when your kid orders "ya yas" in a restaurant and you expect the waitress to know that means french fries

*when you have finally run out of high spaces to put things on

*when your child potty learns and says "I need privacy mama" but thinks nothing of marching in to the bathroom when you're doing your (erstwhile) private business

And you know you're the parent of an older and younger toddler when:

*you can't figure out what to do about toilet locks/closing bathroom doors because one just potty learned and needs easy access and the other one enjoys fishing around in toilets. :

 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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#143 of 940 Old 12-14-2006, 11:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SarahNH View Post
-
-you actually feel flattered when complimented on your horse noise during this recitation of 'moo, bah, la la la'.
Horses are hard. You must be very talented.

My problem is that whenever ds sees a pig now he says "la la la." I'm going to have a hard time explaining that one to his kindergarten teacher.

Proud mom to superhero.gifds2 (7/05), angel2.gif ds 1 (born into heaven at 38 weeks 11/03), and 5 more angels angel.gif (4/02) angel.gif (7/10) angel.gifangel.gif (11/10) angel.gif (11/12)

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#144 of 940 Old 12-15-2006, 12:34 AM
 
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-When you used to try and drive further down the road to another crossing just so you could avoid the train and now purposely try to get stuck at a crossing so ds can watch the train go across.

-When your Christmas tree looks very sad because there is a gigantic blank space on the tree where there are no ornaments b/c that's where ds and the two cats kept pulling ornaments off.

-When sometimes you wonder if the cats and your child are able to communicate in some unknown language and have all ganged up on you!
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#145 of 940 Old 12-15-2006, 12:38 AM
 
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this happen to me tonight...

-when watching your favorite tv show with NO interruptions seem like pure HEAVEN to you.
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#146 of 940 Old 12-15-2006, 12:44 AM
 
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....when your alarm clock goes off in the middle of the night because dc reset it.

....you never get to eat because the second you try to take a bite a little mouth and little hands suddenly appear.
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#147 of 940 Old 12-15-2006, 12:50 AM
 
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--when you're sitting here typing blind (thank goodness for 7th grade typing lessons, less I would not be able to type without looking at the keyboard whilst on MDC!) because you are straining through completely smudged up sunglasses that showed up mysteriously (somebody somewhere somehow gave them to your child) at quarter to 11 at night, AND trying to see past your toddler who is directly in your face, adjusting said sunglasses to be sure they are on your face properly, and then pushing them up to see your eyes, and then puts them back on your eyes...over and over and over again.

And now the room his filled with delighted shrilled screams, for this toddler has turned his attention to the smileys on the screen...they are hilarious.
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#148 of 940 Old 12-15-2006, 01:29 AM
 
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...When you consider crackers and milk a full meal

...When you think you'd do pretty well in a wrestling match with a midget because of all the struggling it takes to diaper and dress your toddler

...When your belly button is the most fascinating thing in the world to someone

...When all of your belongings are piled up high on top of the refrigerator or any other high flat surface

Me bfinfant.gifDP caffix.gif one silly 5 year old  boy blahblah.gif and a brand new babyboy.gifcd.gif  signcirc1.gifgoorganic.jpg
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#149 of 940 Old 12-15-2006, 01:52 AM
 
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--when you realize that now you've been sitting all alone with sunglasses on your boob for quite a while now...
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#150 of 940 Old 12-15-2006, 06:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
Evidently, we know two very different versions of this song, the one I know does not mention pi, or really any other numbers....
Anyone else? I don't think I'm crazy.....
I think ninelives may be thinking of the song 18 wheels on a big rig, which is one of my boys favorite songs. One of the parts in that song goes.

"I will now attempt to divide the wheels of a big rig by pi."
Oh, there's 3.143125679 -11... million wheels on a big rig,
and they're rollin rollin rollin,
rollin rollin rollin!

HTH

Dana
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