You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 02:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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...you have to pick the breakfast cereal out of the bottom of the shower before you get in. :

This actually happened to me this morning.

I don't know how many other toddler parents have these kinds of issues with their toddlers, and so I thought it would be fun to compare stories.

So... finish the sentence "You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When..."



(RECAPS: Posts #489, #506)

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#2 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 03:04 AM
 
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All the lower shelves of your bookshelves are removed and your coffee table is in the garage!!

Courtney wife to geek.gif and mom to 4 boys: chicken3.gif   . I need caffix.gif !
They're not typos. . . I can't spell!
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#3 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 03:06 AM
 
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...all the breakable Christmas tree ornaments are towards the top of the tree, leaving the bottom mostly bare!

treehugger.gifearth.gifribbonwhite.gif Anne (31), single WOHM to Karen (5)ribbonyellow.gifshamrocksmile.giffambedsingle1.gifjoy.gif
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#4 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 03:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2005 View Post
...all the breakable Christmas tree ornaments are towards the top of the tree, leaving the bottom mostly bare!
Amen to that one. We put the tree up this last Sunday. It was up less than 25 minutes before it suddenly came CRASHING down, the top third hitting the coffee table and breaking the glass ornament my mother made for DS as a Christmas present the year he was born. *sigh*

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#5 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 03:14 AM
 
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== you keep your Christmas tree in a playpen;

-- there are no lamps anywhere in your home;

-- you wake up happy every morning seeing those sweet little faces.
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#6 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 03:25 AM
 
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I love these!!!

... you have to search through bags and boxes in your dcs room for spoons or forks b/c they all mysteriously disapeared!
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#7 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 03:39 AM
 
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You keep smelling a mysterious urine smell in your DC's room, but can't find the source.

I have eventually found it in a Halloween bucket, cups, bowls, travel jewelry containers. Good thing she got over this when she potty trained! :

: Robyn : Increasingly crunchy Mama to Kya (8) , Makena (7) , and Keegan (4) :
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#8 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 03:51 AM
 
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...you go to put clothes in the hamper and find it full of Christmas ornaments.

...you find a can of tuna shoved in your shoe.

...you have to search your whole house for pots and kitchen utensils.
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#9 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 04:04 AM
 
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You don't even bother putting up a Christmas tree!
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#10 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 04:33 AM
 
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...Kenny Loggins "Return to Pooh Corner" has replaced Barry White as mood music.

...it takes less than ten minutes for a day-long housecleaning to become completely unravelled.

...all your cabinets have locks, it takes you 15 seconds to unlock your toilet, and side-by-side doors are held closed with rubber bands.

...you hear yourself saying "how did you find that/get that open/take that off/get up there/even know how to get to that" on a regular basis.

...the pets have unexplained bald spots.
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#11 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 04:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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...That's Not My Puppy... becomes deeply philosophical after its 350th reading.

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#12 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 06:08 AM
 
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When asked what your favorite song is, all you can think of is Wheels on the Bus or Itsy Bitsy Spider!

You have forgotten what it's like to go to the bathroom by yourself.

Having another person's snot all over you doesn't even phase you anymore!

For breakfast, you had a Nana, and dinner is going to be s'ghetti, which you will cut up everyone's into little tiny pieces, until your dh tells you to stop b/c he's a big boy and can eat it whole!

Wife to D (12/03) and totally smitten Mama to DD (4/05) DS (2/09) and expecting DD#2  6/23/11
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#13 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 06:12 AM
 
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These are great, and so true.
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#14 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 07:30 AM
 
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....you find dinky cars in your purse, pocket, knapsack, shoes......

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#15 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 07:44 AM
 
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.... every time you sit on the toilet you repeatedly say "Yes hunny mommy is going yucky--- do you want to try on your potty? ..... please? pretty please? I'll give you some popcorn if you try..."



... you manage to read an entire children's book with your eyes shut. And turn the pages appropriately.


... you read Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You? and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom with SUCH enthusuasim your parter is laughing so hard he almost pisses himself and your daughter is screeching at the top of her lungs in amusment.

GREAT MOM to dd (5) and )ds( [sept 26 2006]
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#16 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 07:45 AM
 
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You read your toddler a story while successfully reading a thread on MDC :

GREAT MOM to dd (5) and )ds( [sept 26 2006]
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#17 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 09:05 AM
 
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...you are rummaging around in a cabinet for the pot or pan you are in need of, and you come across a day (or two) old half eaten pear your kido has stored in a pot, inside the cabinet...like a treasure.

...you have Thanksgiving dinner at a friends house, and even though you could have sworn that your child did not get up from the table with food in hand, your friend (whose house is usually spotless) finds green beans stored in the knooks and crannies of the kitchen for at least a week (and her kids are too old to have done it).

...you start worrying when you hear mysterious, hysterical laughter coming from the other room (especially when you think there might be pets in there).

...you have to put a coffee table in front of the front door, lest your child-- who now can reach and unlock the deadbolt-- open it and run out (or let the dog out) the minute you have your back turned or need to go to use the toilet.

...your computer screen is covered in fingerprints.

...sweeping one room takes twenty or thirty minutes because you are getting so much "help."

...you have coathooks by your front door, about three feet off the ground.

...you didn't know you had a yardstick, but one day, you find one laying around in the living room (apparently, it was leaning against the wall in the front hall closet and you just never noticed).

...you feel like every day is oppossite day ("I wonder how come my mom can't *make* me do that thing she wants me to do. I better try to do the oppossite of what she asks me to do and see what she does...I wonder if that works with everything. I better try this out in all types of situations... Her reaction to this experiment is interesting. I better try it out more and see if it is always the same...Hey, this is fun!")

...you are *royalty*...even your toileting habits do not happen without great fanfare! After you finish using the toilet, your child hears you get up and runs in the bathroom and starts waving "bye bye" to all that is getting flushed down. (No, I did not teach him to do that).

...you have to wash some dishes twice, if your child gets to the dishwasher to empty it before you do. Dishes, dishes everywhere...especially on the floor.

...you find apple cores, magnets, forks, and pacifiers, among other treasures in the microwave (I say this with a slight tone of shame...we were microwave-free until we had kids eleven months apart and we started eating frozen stuff a bit more often). You keep your microwave unplugged except when you have to use it, for fear something metal might otherwise get zapped.

...the sweet sound of pitter-patter feet brings a smile to your face each morning you are up before the kids, or after naps.

...you have decided fingerprints on the windows really should be a trendy look one of these days.

...your child knows how to crack and egg (and really, really, really wants to do it every time you get eggs out) but also squeezes it rather than releasing it once it is cracked, so you have become accostumed to scooping dozens of tiny shell pieces out of eggs before cooking them. You also sometimes just let some of the shells stay in there, and have learned to eat with more caution.

...you bring an egg slicer (meant for hardboiled egg) to a restaurant with you because trying to slice soft foods in the slicer will keep your kido busy for at least ten minutes...which means ten minutes more when you can actually eat.

Oh, I could go on and on...

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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#18 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 10:04 PM
 
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You find yourself saying crazy things like "Cats are not for eating"

Mama to three  
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#19 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 11:07 PM
 
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When you say things like
"the cat goes not want to be laid on, nor sat on, nor dragged by the tail...etc."
"that is mommys please stop poking me there and no its not yucky"

When you can catch vomit in one hand and continue to eat

check the toliet to make sure there isnt something extra in it that shouldnt be flushed
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#20 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 11:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewCrunchyDaddy View Post
...That's Not My Puppy... becomes deeply philosophical after its 350th reading.




...your child comes walking in the kitchen saying, "Here mama! Here mama!" And he hands you a piece of poop.

:

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#21 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sierra View Post
...you start worrying when you hear mysterious, hysterical laughter coming from the other room (especially when you think there might be pets in there).
or ... worse yet ... you start worrying when you realize you haven't heard from your DC in what seems like a very. very. loooooong. time. and then realize ... they're not in the room with you

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sierra View Post
...your computer screen is covered in fingerprints.

...you have decided fingerprints on the windows really should be a trendy look one of these days.
You mean people actually have windows and computer screens without fingerprints?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sierra View Post
...you didn't know you had a yardstick, but one day, you find one laying around in the living room (apparently, it was leaning against the wall in the front hall closet and you just never noticed).
:

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#22 of 940 Old 12-08-2006, 11:20 PM
 
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You find yourself telling your child to take the fork out of her nose, the phone out of her potty (thankfully empty), and the food out of her baby brother's face.

You find yourself in a state of continual amazement at how much your child can do, say, and understand.

Goldfish crackers are EVERYWHERE.
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#23 of 940 Old 12-09-2006, 12:08 AM
 
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...when you walk in on your ds picking your cell phone up out of the toilet.:

...when you turn around and see all the contents of your wallet/purse spread around the living room floor.

...when you hear every single bin being dumped out in their room and then are told, "but mom, it's for monkeys!"

...when you realize nothing of yours is sacred anymore (or as important )

...when you make sacrifices you never thought you could to make sure your kids/family comes first!:
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#24 of 940 Old 12-09-2006, 01:11 AM
 
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...food cans become step stools and the tink of them being organized means dc is standing on them to get his snacks
....everything of yours must be attached at all times.....car keys, cell phone, remotes are always right beside me!
......baby sister must be covered with a blanket cause mommy does it
....cars are bedtime buddys (and subsequently fall OUT of bed in the middle of the night giving me a heart attack!!)
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#25 of 940 Old 12-09-2006, 01:12 AM
 
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...when you have to make sure there is nothing valuable in the diaper pail before doing the laundry.

...when you realize there really is no point in trying to clean up until after your child is in bed.

...when you haven't taken a shower by yourself in a week.
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#26 of 940 Old 12-09-2006, 01:19 AM
 
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... when you keep the toilet paper on the counter instead of on the paper roll on purpose, not because you are too lazy.

... when you keep your remote controls in ziplock bags so when they are put in the toilet, you don't have to buy a new one.

... when you are searching through your pantry and every drawer in the kitchen to find a pacifier at 3:30 in the morning.

It just started for me; I'm not sure if I am ready for another year or two of this!!!
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#27 of 940 Old 12-09-2006, 01:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rosie_plus_one View Post
... when you keep the toilet paper on the counter instead of on the paper roll on purpose, not because you are too lazy.
: That's the way it is in out house (ETA: I was going to change this, to "our" house, but I think it's funnier the original way ) ... and he still gets a hold of it! :

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosie_plus_one View Post
It just started for me; I'm not sure if I am ready for another year or two of this!!!
Just started for us too, DS is 1yo+a month and some and he's the terror of the household, running everywhere, pulling drawers out in tiers so he can try to climb up to counters, nightstands (pictures here), everything. I don't know if I can keep up! :

Just thought of another...

...when DS uses the dog as a step-stool to climb into his drawers. Pictures here.

"A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister

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#28 of 940 Old 12-09-2006, 01:48 AM
 
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When you have to peel the stickers off of your clothes, body, and hair before showering.
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#29 of 940 Old 12-09-2006, 02:43 AM
 
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you open your fridge to find your childs marker collection in there.

you just bought 20 sippy cups and cant find a single one. ( i seriously dont know where they go besides one that got lost at the hospital yesterday lmao)

youve dug silverware out of your toilet bowl. (ive done this at my sisters before i had kids , her daughter was 18 mths old)

you noticed apopsicle stick in your computer camera card slot.

there are foam alphabet letters stuck all over your bathtub that you have to dig out if u want a relaxing bath by yourself minus the letters.

its funny how they just do crazy things lol and the thigns you find in the oddest places. i have found markers and toys in my fridge my son will stick them in there for aplace to put it while he grabs an apple lol
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#30 of 940 Old 12-09-2006, 02:45 AM
 
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Originally Posted by cheeseRjedi View Post


...when you have to make sure there is nothing valuable in the diaper pail before doing the laundry.

...when you realize there really is no point in trying to clean up until after your child is in bed.

...when you haven't taken a shower by yourself in a week.
the only time i get a shower on my own is when my husbands home other wise its a bath with the kid and all his toys and foam letters and being splashed in the face but eh if it gets ya clean it works lol, he can escape his playpen and climb baby gates so its about the only way i can get a bath and him too
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