I would love to hear what other moms with two or more children advise about child spacing. Here are my specs:
I am 32, will be 33 in a few months. My ds is 19 mos, still BF (a LOT!), still co-sleeps, still very much a mama's boy who likes to be held and cuddled and slung. We are in no hurry to rush him out of baby-hood.
BUT, I can feel my clock ticking. AF returned at 5 mos PP, despite 24-hr nursings, and my mom began menopause in her early 40's, so acc. to Christine Northrup (my fav. referfence for women's health issues), I am probably already in peri-menopause, when fertility begins to decline. We were incredibly blessed to conceive on the first attempt last time . . . I think we would never forgive ourselves if we missed these fertile years altogether.
BUT, I have seen so many threads from mamas here who are having a hellacious time with tandem nursing, or even just mothering a toddler and a newborn. Is it fair to ds to disrupt his life so? Is it fair to dc #2 to not get equal attention from us?
Honestly, how DO you AP a toddler and a baby at the same time? I just can't imagine how anyone's needs get fully met -- least of all the mama's!
AND YET, my ds ADORES other children -- he is incredibly social and prefers to be around people (way more interested in people than in things) -- so he might actually love having a sib.
AND, maybe a sib is what he needs to help him realize that he is not the center of the universe, despite EVERYTHING his sweet daddy and I have told him!
So what thinks ye? Should we aim for Baby #2 to be here before ds is 3, right at 3, or after? What have you done, and would you do it again the same way?
(All of this with a big 'ole caveat to Mother Nature -- acknowledging that I do not just get to CHOOSE when to conceive . . . only when to try!)
Please advise, wise mamas!