How long do the Terrible Twos last?? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 19 Old 01-22-2007, 09:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ugh, my DD is a terror. She hit the baby on the head. Threw her food on the floor. Grabbed paper out of my hand and fell on the floor about 4 times. All of this happened between 6 and 7. We finally decided to put her to bed early. I know that she's hungry because she didn't eat. She's in her crib talking now while DH sits on the floor waiting for her to go to sleep. I want my sweet baby back.
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#2 of 19 Old 01-22-2007, 10:53 PM
 
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You mean the terrible twos end??? LOL, I'm sorry, everyone warns you of the terrible twos, but they never tell you about 3 through 18 and beyond

We've raised two boys into adulthood, and the best advice I have to offer is "choose your battles". If its not going to matter next week, or if it isn't hurting them or someone else, consider just distracting them, or letting it go.

Like one day I found my (then) 2 year old in the kitchen floor. He was in front of the open fridge and had all kind of food out and all over the place. He had also gotten into the pans and was putting eggs and anything else he could get open into the pans.

I just laughed it off and sat down and "helped" him find something that we could cook. I fixed his lunch and cleaned up the mess while he was eating.

I could have blown a fuse and been angry over it, but whats the point? I realized he was just exploring, and that he was obviously hungry lol.

Anyway, every age has its good and bad points. The twos are just the first year that they start displaying their independence and thats what throws us. If you look at it from the angle that they are just growing and exploring and becoming independent little critters, then maybe it will all be easier to deal with

Best of luck!
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#3 of 19 Old 01-22-2007, 11:40 PM
 
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Oh my.
It will be okay. Try to focus on the positive and give her as much attention as you can. That is what she wants.
Don't think of it as the terrible twos- but wonderful twos. What an exciting time her life is now. You will never get it back!
Oh and a baby! Wow.... thats tough. I was there last year.
Take it a day at a time. Hour at a time and hey- this too shall pass.
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#4 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 12:39 AM
 
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Well, I have a 4yo DD and a 3yo DD and I'd say they are worse now than they were at 2. :

It sucks.

: Robyn : Increasingly crunchy Mama to Kya (8) , Makena (7) , and Keegan (4) :
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#5 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 12:44 AM
 
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read the book- spiritual parenting. It will change how you view your 2 year old. And how you react to her behaviour. Im sure there are other great books out there Look in the gentle parenting/discipline forum and there are stickies with great books listed (believe me they saved us!). But I believe that she has some needs that are not being met and that is why she is acting that way., It is not your fault because sometimes its hard to know what those needs are and you are probably tired with a new baby and all and may not be able to recognize it. I know its hard and your frustrated but there are ways to work it through.just my opinion, good luck mama !
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#6 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 12:45 AM
 
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*
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#7 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 12:53 AM
 
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As soon as they move out.
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#8 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 01:06 AM
 
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Well my son is 3 now, and I think 2 was easier
Take a deep breath, remind yourself that even though she looks so big and grown up next to the new baby she is still just practically a baby herself. And the mommy mantra
'this too shall pass'

Oh, and while I know it's super frustrating and sometimes you REALLY need to take a minute or 5 to yourself to calm down, her being hungry will just make her cranky. Gotta feed the little ones, even when they're obnoxious

Maybe she's stressed about the little sibling and all the changes that come with that?
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#9 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 01:58 AM
 
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I know how you feel. C. was never an easy one, my mom told me when he was days old I was in for it and she was right. Our Dr has old us that he is going to be a challenging child and that we are not going to have an easy time ahead of us, that was reassuring:

Bless your heart for handling this with a newborn, I can't imagine anything harder. Could she be acting out to the new arrival? Is there anyway that you can grab one on one time with her so she still feels like she has your attention. You will get thru this, banged and bruised, but stronger and a better parent. Good luck, and keep repeating this to will pass!

Living DAIRY AND GLUTEN FREE for my SPD and Aspergers Little Man.
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#10 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 02:04 AM
 
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Yikes Namaste- what a tag for a kid. DD is something to! Very strong and determined.
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#11 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 02:05 AM
 
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Sorry, but our 3s have been wwaaaaayyy worse. I hear 4 is nice!
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#12 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 03:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks ladies. I won't mention to DH how much we have ahead of us. LOL

It's funny that this came up tonight. I called DH at work just hours before and told him that I'd like to consider becoming a WAHM and taking DD out of daycare. I miss her and we only have time together on the weekends because the evenings are so hectic. I was sitting at dinner thinking I was crazy to consider it and that my poor DD is going to have to move in with one of the daycare providers because I can't handle it. But now the more I think about it being home with me and the baby is exactly what she needs. I'm going to try it for a few days. This is going to be difficult because I have work to do in addition to caring for the baby. But it's already difficult, so it can only get better. She needs me right now.

More stories, please!
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#13 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 02:21 PM
 
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Mo, as a WAHM, I just want to suggest you have a backup plan. Hold her spot in daycare. Whatever. Because I would lose it if I had my ds (2) home with me all day, every day with my newborn while I was WAH. Today is his day off of daycare, I have a deadline, and I am sorely wishing he were there. I'm sure he is, too, because I am too busy to play. Maybe I am misunderstanding what you are saying regarding WAH, but I have a very hard time getting things done with him here.

Tracey, mama of 5 beloved children here with me on Earth and one precious son I will meet again in Heaven 6/17/09 - 9/6/09.

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#14 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 02:51 PM
 
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Ditto to the mama who said to have a backup plan. I WAH and have my 2 year old with a babysitter, but my 4 month old is home with me for the time being. It's hard enough to work with just the baby, there is absolutely NO WAY I could do it with both of them home. Just no way.

~

My 2 year old has been on the rambunctious side this week, too. I blame it on the weather (too cold and slushy to go outside) and my not making time to take her somewhere to run. She is SUPER grumpy when she doesn't get enough exercise.
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#15 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 03:05 PM
 
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Wait, you think you're going to get work done at home with a 2 year old and a newborn? Hmm.... Keep your expectations appropriately low.

Once my kids started to walk, there was no way I could work at home. Even dh, who is not phased at all by being interrupted every 5 minutes had a hard time working at home. (He still does it, but it's hard.)

Other things to think about:
-Going part time.
-Working from home two days a week, with the expectation that you will get most of your work done before they are up and after they go to bed.
-Picking her up early from daycare (so 3 pm instead of 5) to give you extra time, and then doing an hour or two of work after she's in bed -- that's what I do. Dd is in daycare 3x a week (MWF). She's home with dh T/Th. I pick her up early MWF and we have some time together before dinner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mowilli3 View Post
But now the more I think about it being home with me and the baby is exactly what she needs. I'm going to try it for a few days. This is going to be difficult because I have work to do in addition to caring for the baby. But it's already difficult, so it can only get better. She needs me right now!
Yes, indeed, I think that's an excellent interpretation of her behavior. She is feeling needy.

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#16 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 03:16 PM
 
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Forgot to address the terrible 2s!

I actually like the 2s. I find them infinitely easier than the 1s because they can TALK. True, sometimes I don't like what I hear, but at least I know what the problem is. And they are sooo transparent, even when they are angry, it's kind of cute.

Look at it this way: Each age has its joys and challenges. When dd is having a tantrum about something, sometimes I repeat to myself "I love 2." or "Oh my, we're being 2, aren't we."

What are the joys of 2?

Pretend play -- dd spent all of last night being a Dalmation. "I changed my hands into paws." "I have a little bowl to drink from." "I can slide down a Dalmation pole." (Ds was giving me a 'tour' of his 'firestation' (our bedroom), and telling me about the 'fire pole'.)

Unbridled emotion - positive and negative. When things are sad, they are oh so sad. Dd had a good 20 minute cry the other day because, gasp, Daddy put her pajamas on and not me. She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed on my chest. Then she popped up and said "I want vanilla ice cream!" Apparently a good cry and vanilla ice cream can cure all.

Our kids stay in the church nursery until communion. When she comes in, she'll come racing down the aisle to us, laughing all the way. How can you NOT love that?

Language -- I know what she's thinking, even if it's "I do not want to put underwear on!"

The 2s are hard because they're testing their autonomy, and yet they're so needy all at the same time. But they're also fun.

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#17 of 19 Old 01-23-2007, 11:35 PM
 
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Technically as long as they are preschoolers 2-5. this too shall pass

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#18 of 19 Old 01-25-2007, 02:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emilie View Post
Yikes Namaste- what a tag for a kid. DD is something to! Very strong and determined.
Tell me about it! I nearly came unglued when he said that at * FRICKIN monthes that he was showing sign of ADHD:

We have not been back since.

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#19 of 19 Old 01-25-2007, 02:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wonder how many mamas are showing signs of ADHD with kids this age. I know I am. Just trying to keep up with life. KWIM.

Thanks for the comments mamas. I wrote a long post yesterday and lost it. I'll try to recreate it.

I am currently working 40%, 1 day at home (over 6 days) and 1 day in the office, until the baby goes to daycare or something else changes. The baby is 2 months old and DD is 21 months, so not quite 2 yet. It's been hard on her because even though she has been in daycare since 6 months she's always been very attached to me. Now she can't cosleep because DS is cosleeping and she doesn't sleep when he's there. She wants to wake him up. She only gets to nurse twice a day because when I was nursing on demand, she was inconsistent and I was engorged every day, DS was drowning in milk, and he wouldn't comfort suck. So I try to keep her on a nursing schedule, morning and evening. I don't get to spend as much time with her. It's just really hard, and it breaks my heart to see her sad/jealous face when I'm cuddling with DS. At the same time, I want him to start life with as much love and affection as she got.

DH and I only have an elderly aunt and uncle in town. Our families at 1000 miles away in different directions. This is a good thing for us, but our babies could use some extra TLC.

We spend all evening in family time. I try to have dinner on the table when DH and DD get home. We all eat at the table together and say grace as many times as DD wants. We play games on the floor and read tons of books. DS is in the sling facing forward so that he's an equal participant. They both love it. But DD sometimes wants just mom and dad to herself. Other times she's having fun and gets wound up.

The other day, I asked DH to bring her home over his lunch break. We spent the afternoon doing art projects. She had so much fun and it was a good night. Then yesterday I went back to my office for the first time and it was a difficult night. DS refused the bottle all day and nursed most of the evening. DD woke up at 3AM and called for me. We rocked and talked for an hour and a half until she fell asleep with me on the floor in her room. Everytime I tried to leave, she woke up. So I stayed for a while. When I got back to bed, DS was ready to nurse again. Of course I was exhausted this morning and had work to do.

I resent work right now, but in order to keep her in daycare, I have to bring home enough to cover some bills and groceries. When DS goes to daycare, I'll probably have to go back fulltime and request 2 telework days. I'll try to get all my work done in office and spend at least half those days with the kids. No matter how I split it, there is just never enough time. And no nannies want to do parttime work. Daycare costs an arm and a leg for young children here.

I'd love some advice or just empathy.
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