Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Sunny San Miguel de Allende, Mexico
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Claudia, on the july mama thread I participate on one mama mentioned a visualization she uses for milk production. It's a commercial on tv I've never seen, but it still works, for like lifesavers or something with cream in them. It's a river of white, just flowing, flowing, so much good white milk. That's what I visualize going into Amara's mouth.
I had some supply issues when A was about as old as S is now, relating to stress.
Which brings me to personal development lesson # 85,432.
My modus operandi is running about, scattered, and very stressed. This is all in a day's work, and somehow I thought I didn't CHOOSE to live my life in this manner, that every stressed out moment was not a choice on my part. My very gait is headlong, rushing about the house. Fastfastfast.
The other day I realized that it is all a choice, everything. And I was choosing to stress the days away instead of live & love & learn in them. I was choosing to seek excuses for treating Viet poorly (I am so stressed, I work so hard, I have to deal with the girls myself, etc etc) and being in a constant state of exhaustion/stress/grief/younameit. Resentment took hold.
Then I realized that he really does all he can, and has behaved himself remarkably well, if I would but see it instead of holding on with resentment glue to the storyline I had written for myself.
So now, I still run about, fastfastfast, but I am working on awareness: sure, run about elsanne, but be aware you're choosing to do so, and then take responsibility for it and ENJOY YOUR LIFE, enjoy the wacky stressed out moment, because you are choosing the pace! So go on, continue your ways, but ENJOY it instead of telling yourself a life-killing joy-killing story about it. You'll live a lot longer, or if not that, a lot happier.
And you don't need to control everything and everyone. Going with the toddler flow is sssssuuuuuuuch a lesson. It is hard for me. But, when I stop trying to control her every moment or think I know how it should go the best, we really do flow and I am happier too.
Bedtimes: I have done them myself the last few nights, due to this or that reason, and we're doing it! It's working! It takes all of the above lesson distilled to a fine, clear mental stream in order to do it, and it's then that I feel like I am really living, loving & learning.
There youguys go, inspiring a blog post again.
This weekend will be spent
a) friday night bellydance performance wooo hoooo!
b) then we go to Tierra Adentro, the retreat center I'm running, with Viet's fam and my mom and the nice warm pool....should be a blast!