*Valentines thread for Nov 05 mamas!* - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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In a slightly drunken email to a friend last night I wrote about how I'm so frustrated with life right now because I'm finally not pregnant or postpartum for the first time in a few years. And now I just want to be ME, but I'm stuck packing up a house, working on taxes, and cleaning. Its a weird middle-ground to be in, especially since we want to have more kids. I'm in a limbo-period here between rounds of kids. I finally feel like myself and look like myself, but I'm not able to really BE myself. Does that make any sense?

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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#122 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 06:05 PM
 
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Quick call for suggestions...nak...baby on upside of tummy bug, no vomit since yest., occ. diahrrea, nursing non stop.

ketones in urine yesterday,trying to start back solids, other fluids.

won't eat much other than a cracker or sliver of banana, wants nothing to do with pedialyte, recharge. Drank some diluted juice but had huge diahrrea after.

is just nuring okay? she doesnt have much fat to spare, barely 17 lbs here at 14 months. Help!

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#123 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 06:22 PM
 
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Abandoned? I'm just down here trying to convert these folks to socialism. And to have all of my posts and e-mails tracked by the lovely folks at the department of homeland security- who have all of my stats on record
Oh you're a Canadian *agent*. ok then. Keep up the good work!

I hear y'all about the 1-year PPD. For me it was kind of opposite - I wasn't ready to STOP being "Rowan's mummy" before I was forced back to work and had to reestablish my professional persona...now I feel torn between two "me"s and I feel like if I give too much to one role I'm taking something away from the other. Although to be honest, I feel a LOT worse about taking time away from Rowan to work than the other way around, but I still feel some guilt if I leave work 10 minutes early if I know Rowan hasn't had a good nap and will need to get to bed earlier.

Being a modern mummy is HARD. I never planned to be a working mom, I thought DH would be done his thesis and working by this time and I wouldn't have to work full-time. But he is doing his best, and I don't want to add to his stress by screaming "JUST FINISH THE DAMN THING AND GET A JOB" like I kind of want to.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#124 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 06:24 PM
 
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Nurse her as much as possible! Breastmilk has more calories per ounce than any other food/drink (except possibly avocado and a very few other really dense foods, but you wouldn't be giving those to a sick baby anyway). Its also gentler on the system than any other food, and won't irritate her throat if she vomits or her intestines if she has diarrhea. If you can pinch the skin on her hand and it stays pulled-up in a pinched position after you let go, that's a good sign that she's VERY dehydrated and its time to seek medical attention. As long as she's hydrated, though, try not to worry too much. But, that's easier said than done! Most babies will nurse for comfort even when they don't want to eat or drink, and that's a big part of why breastfed babies have to be hospitalized so much less often than formula-fed or weaned infants.

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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#125 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 06:24 PM
 
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Bex - nursing is THE BEST thing for your baby now. Nurse nurse nurse - it'll get nutrition and liquids into her better than anything else.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#126 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 06:28 PM
 
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Spughy, I'm glad to see you're still drinking proper beer What's an appie, btw?
I am a proud supporter of the Campaign for Real Ale Appies are appetizers - pub food, the deep-fried zucchini sticks, chicken wings, potato skins, quesadillas... I'm trying to remember if the UK had any such things last time I was there... I don't think so, but every time I try to reminisce my brain gets stuck on a superb raisin beer (sounds weird, but tasted amazing) I had in some little Scottish town along with a dismal venison burger... never mind...

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#127 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 07:52 PM
 
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Yes, I know raisin beer. Caledonian, right? (speaks the former secretary of the local branch of CAMRA.) We don't do appies, though, we do pub sandwiches and pickled eggs.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#128 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 09:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by spughy View Post
I am a proud supporter of the Campaign for Real Ale Appies are appetizers - pub food, the deep-fried zucchini sticks, chicken wings, potato skins, quesadillas... I'm trying to remember if the UK had any such things last time I was there... I don't think so, but every time I try to reminisce my brain gets stuck on a superb raisin beer (sounds weird, but tasted amazing) I had in some little Scottish town along with a dismal venison burger... never mind...
Hmm, that's disappointing, I was thinking it was some exotic Canadian delicacy!

Yes, I do know that Ella will be getting into everything. But, she's getting into everything as it is, she'll been crusing and pushing the ottoman and her little pus-toy and chairs and everything else around for a long time now. She turns on the dryer (buttons are on the front panel) and the microwave and the stereo and everything else! I think the major difference will be the speed with which she will be able to get into everything! Mostly though I am just tired of her pants being so dirty from her crawling on the floor all the time--she pulls her left leg in front of her in a weird horizontal sort of way, and I swear the girl is like a human Swiffer!

Yay DID! Congrats on your baby girl!!!! I'll be looking forward to hearing the story, although based on the fact that you last posted about a couple of hours before having her, I think we can infer at least the outlines of it, that your labor progressed really fast and that within a couple of hours you were complete and pushing and the baby came out!! :-)
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#129 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 09:08 PM
 
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I've updated the birth announcement thread with pics and a full story.
But I am wiped out and must go lay down.
Love to you mamas, thank you so much for all your support.
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#130 of 368 Old 02-09-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by *Amy*
Lately though I have been really making an effort to start creating some healthy boundaries for myself, such as not holding Brynn on my lap while I'm eating. I know, it sounds like a little thing, but I had let myself become totally resentful of her during dinner time because she is such a little maniac that I can never *enjoy* eating my meal. So now, she either sits in the high chair, or DH holds her. If she asks to nurse while I'm eating, which she inevitably does, I tell her that she has to wait until I'm done eating. For me, I know that my red flag is when I start to feel sorry for myself; that's where I go when I am overly-tired and I'm not getting/giving anything back to myself. Realizing that has helped me to figure out ways that I can take a little better care of me. I do think it's time though; we've all been giving 100 million percent for over a year now; it's starting to take its toll.
I completely could have written this post Amy! I have noticed that when I put Isa first ALWAYS, I get resentful and hateful too. So now I just put her first MOST OF THE TIME, which is totally do-able for me and feels more age appropriate for her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MelW
I have a theory about the PPD/ identity crisis that happens after a year- I feel like I was pretty absorbed by being "Neela'smama" for the first year after her birth, then suddenly looked at my walking, talking other person and had a while of being "identitycrisismama" (name already taken on MDC) where I had to figure out again where the boundaries of me were, so to speak. Who am I when I'm not Neela's mama, or who am I besides that role. It's interesting that so many of our online names are "somethingmama"- it's a big part of our identities, but not all of it.
This post made me think of a Tori Amos song that I love... "Your Cloud"

Where the river cross
crosses
the lake
Where the words
Jump off my
pen and
into your pages
Do you think
just like that
You can divide
This
You as yours
Me as mine
to before we were
Us

If the rain
Has
to separate from
Itself
does it say
"pick out your
cloud?"
pick out your
cloud

If there is a Horizontal Line
that runs from the MAP
off your body straight through
the Land shooting up
right through my heart
Will this Horizontal Line
when asked know how to find
Where you end
where I begin
"pick out your
cloud"

How Light can
play and form a Ring
of Rain that can change
bows into arrows
(I found a thrill)

Who we were
isn't lost
Before we were
Us
Indigo in his
own
Blue always
knew
this
if the rain
Has
to separate from
Itself
does it say
pick out your
cloud

If there is a Horizontal Line
that runs from the MAP
off your body straight through
the Land shooting up
right through my heart
Will this Horizontal Line
when asked know how to find
Where you end
where I begin
"pick out your
cloud"

if the rain
Has
to separate from
Itself
does it say
pick out your
cloud

That song makes me cry all the time. How can we tell where one begins and the other ends? Honestly, when Isa has a booger, I pick my own nose!
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#131 of 368 Old 02-10-2007, 12:01 AM
 
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Susannah, my PPD with Isaac didn't really start clearing until the April after his first birthday: so when he was about 20 months old. I think he was weaned at that point as well? It's weird, because Steve and I were already together at that point and he can see the difference between how I am with Skye now and how I was with Isaac (and Alex) then.
So if I follow those guidelines then I *only* have about 5 months left. I think I can handle that
Seriously though, if I feel like this still now how would it be for my emotions with another?! While I do want another child I cannot imagine the havoc it would wreak on my emotions.

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Yes, it's not the most comfy at the time. But it's one of the more valuable tricks I learned in my midwifery apprenticeship--if done early in labor it can really help correct positioning. I didn't do it myself though I don't think--just one of the many reasons I'm not so into UC--no matter how much of an expert you are about birth, your brain just doesn't work right in some ways when you are in labor. And more to the point, when your analytical brain IS working well, that inhibits your labor. My midwife was 2 hours away, and so I spent most of my labor not wanting to call her because I didn't want her to have to be trapped at my house for two days or anything, with the result that I was ending up trying to be my own midwife and troubleshoot my own labor, which was not progressing. Which sort of interfered in some ways with being a laboring woman. OTOH I do think that at some points I was an excellent "labor coach" for myself, lol! I distinctly remember being in the later more intense stages of dilation and sort of flipping between being the crazy laboring mom, and the calm, knowing midwife. Like I kept having this inner dialogue like, "AACK, I don't like this, I don't want to do this" and then telling myself, "You can do this. You ARE doing this!! You're doing great! Make low deep sounds deep in your throat . . . " "wooooowwwwww . . . . " It was kind of trippy!
I was cracking up reading this! My DW kept asking "what? what?"

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Abandoned? I'm just down here trying to convert these folks to socialism. And to have all of my posts and e-mails tracked by the lovely folks at the department of homeland security- who have all of my stats on record
socialism. hmm. not a bad idea. *scratches head and ponders moving to canada or somewhere else other than the "good ole' US of A"*

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#132 of 368 Old 02-10-2007, 12:46 AM
 
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CONGRATULATIONS LYDIA!!!


Kavita...Yay Ella for walking! Trust me, her pants are STILL going to get dirty from walking...it will just be in different areas! I must say that I'm a tad jealous that you were able to have this much time without a walking babe! Noah's journey of full mobility began around 9 months and I haven't been able to sit down since then.

Laurie... back at ya, mama! These mamas are great, aren't they?

Speaking of hugs... Thanks for the support, mamas. Even though I wouldn't wish some of these feelings on anyone, it's kind of nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this, KWIM? I can relate to EVERYTHING you guys mentioned. One of you mentioned being so absorbed for the first year and it's absolutely true. I have been SO wrapped up in being "Noah's Mama" for the past year that it rarely even crossed my mind to want to do something for myself. Now, all of the sudden, it's like I am starting to bust out of this mama shell and I'm trying to grasp for any remnants left of ME. I really feel like I am such a horrible parent some days because I JUST. WANT. TO. BE. LEFT. ALONE. I would love to head out to the trails, go for a long mountain bike ride, then sit on a bar stool with a yummy, dark pint and a good book. While still in my dirty MTBing clothes! It sounds like such a dreamy day for me. I think that once spring rolls around things will be easier for me. And on top of it all, I am really starting to feel like I could use some *ahem* companionship. And not the kind I can get from you, spiritmomma! I don't like having to think about wanting to date while I'm also trying to be a mama. Ugh.

Random thought...how long does it take for them to change a username, anyway???
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#133 of 368 Old 02-10-2007, 02:21 AM
 
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kavita- yay for your babe to be walking! wow.

did- big huge congrats to you, mama! thanks for sharing those great pics, too! beautiful you and beautiful family.

ez surprised me by putting a couple of words together in sign language. she signed more and please together when she wanted more peas please. who knew?

speaking of food, she ate bites of a bagel, peas, rice, naan bread, and more peas today. hmmnnn...anyone else have a carb loading baby?

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#134 of 368 Old 02-10-2007, 09:40 AM
 
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SoulJourney: Love the new name... and I totally know what you mean about wanting to be left alone.

There are days when I just look at Isa and say, "Mama needs some space. Can you play with that toy over there?" Or "Mama would be happy to read that book to you later. Can you read it by yourself first?" : But then, she's usually fine to do that when I ask her. It's almost as if since the only thing she's ever known is super attachment, it hasn't occurred to her that there might be any other way to relate to a person. I'm aiming for a close, intimate relationship for a lifetime and sheesh, I'm still learning that one. But I think she's a quick learner and adapts well to changes in our relationship. It's hard to make such changes and I think she's remained incredibly fluid.

Kavita: Yay for a walking Ella! Now the fun begins anew! I'm really enjoying Isa's ability to walk. It keeps me from being quite so sedentary around the house!
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#135 of 368 Old 02-10-2007, 10:30 AM
 
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YAAAAY! I'm SoulJourney!!! Me likes it!
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#136 of 368 Old 02-10-2007, 12:38 PM
 
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Lydia, she's gorgeous!!! You did so great, mama, you look so beautiful in all your powerful birthing glory.

Yay!!

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#137 of 368 Old 02-11-2007, 01:40 AM
 
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for all the mamas feeling a little overwhelmed, i am there with you. i can feel so suffocated by having someone on top of me or needing me all the time. i don't want to work full-time but i find myself wanting to just go out and sit at a coffee shop to read or something. but, in the evenings i would miss time with DH if i did this regularly. i do need to find some balance though and get out by myself more often. at least dh is a co-parent. he doesn't see it as babysitting and takes total care of ez from diaper changes to baths to play to helping her eat, et... i don't know how i would manage otherwise.

i don't know about you all but there are so few people that i would trust with ez care. i get frustrated enough when people are around us calling her "sweetie" every other word or telling her "good job" when she so much as blinks or other things like gender based bullshutt. ugh. leaving her alone for a few hours with someone like that would not be great for my sanity or help me relax, either. how do you all leave your babes with people you trust...like, who is that in your life and how did you find them?

today, we saw the "vagina monologues". i went with high expectations and was totally let down. it just wasn't presented how i thought it would have been. for example, the two references or so to birth were not vagina centric or even showing the power and glory of the vagina. a few other things bothered me, too. the parts that really hit me hard and were important for me to hear were the ones about the japanese "comfort women" and about the village analogy. have any of you all seen it? thoughts?

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#138 of 368 Old 02-11-2007, 04:33 AM
 
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i don't know about you all but there are so few people that i would trust with ez care. i get frustrated enough when people are around us calling her "sweetie" every other word or telling her "good job" when she so much as blinks or other things like gender based bullshutt. ugh. leaving her alone for a few hours with someone like that would not be great for my sanity or help me relax, either. how do you all leave your babes with people you trust...like, who is that in your life and how did you find them?

today, we saw the "vagina monologues". i went with high expectations and was totally let down. it just wasn't presented how i thought it would have been. for example, the two references or so to birth were not vagina centric or even showing the power and glory of the vagina. a few other things bothered me, too. the parts that really hit me hard and were important for me to hear were the ones about the japanese "comfort women" and about the village analogy. have any of you all seen it? thoughts?
Vagina monologues--I read it and was just not that into it. I didn't find it that revolutionary or empowering, at all. Then again, I was a midwife already by the time I read it, so vagina was already a little old hat for me!

I have a few people who I let babysit Ella. One is my midwife's daughter who is 21. She's not even that into babysitting normally, but Ella just adores her and she is really good with Ella and likes babysitting her. So once in a while she will sit for her. Another is a good friend of mine. She doesn't have any children but has worked a lot with foster children and developmentally disabled people, and is a pretty devoted auntie to her nephews, and now to Ella too. She knows a lot of signs and I like it because I feel that she understands what Ella is trying to say or what she wants almost as well as we can. I have one more babysitter, and she is the daughter of our Kundalini yoga teacher. She's 15, and babysits some other kids, but because of her age/lack of experience I don't feel comfortable leaving Ella with her alone for long periods of time, or in the evening when she is grouchier, or for me to go anywhere that I'm more than a few minutes away in case I am needed. However, she is very sweet and energetic and upbeat, and Ella loves playing with her, so I have her come for a couple of hours after school every few weeks, so I can do stuff around the house and actually concentrate, or run out somewhere right nearby for a few minutes. I guess the common thread with two of these people, is that they are daughters of mothers I trust and whose parenting I admire, and I see that they have picked up some of that behavior that has been modeled for them. The other person is a good friend of mine, and although her style is different than mine, I know that she really loves Ella and takes good care of her and could totally manage an emergency, and they enjoy their time together, so I feel very comfortable leaving Ella in her care. It's important to me too that I feel like people will follow my requests too--for example, if she fusses or cries to try to solve whatever problem (hungry, wet diaper, tired, etc.) before calling me, but if she is crying inconsolably for more than a few minutes, I want to be called so I can come home. I don't leave Ella with a sitter often--no more than a few hours a month. But I'm very lucky because she is fine with being left with any of these people--she loves the attention from a different person, and will happily hug them and wave "bye bye" to me, sometimes I think she needs an occasional break from me as much as I need an occasional break from her! I wouldn't leave her with a sitter she didn't like, no matter how competent I thought they were. And at least for right now, it doesn't seem to work well to leave her with other moms and their kids--once I left her with a friend of mine whose baby is the same age while I went to the dentist. She (Ella) was fine for a while but toward the end she was tired and probably ready for a nap. The other mom nursed her kiddo, and Ella saw the other kid nursing and just lost it and started crying. I think she suddenly realized that her mommy wasn't there to nurse her. She spent the next 45 minutes fussing and crying on and off until I got home.

Oh, the part about praise cracked me up, because just this evening DH and I went for ice cream and there was a couple there with three kids ranging from about 4-7, I think one might have been their nephew, but it was kind of fun to observe their parenting as a model of how we DON'T want to parent. One highlight was that the one kid finished his ice cream, and came up and was talking about how he finished his ice cream, and the mom was like, "Good job, you finished your ice cream!!" in that enthusiastic fake-praise tone. She said "Good job!" to something else too, I think it might have been repeating about the ice cream but I didn't catch it. It was really funny but sad too--like, first of all, do you really want to teach your kids to finish whatever they eat? Second, what is so impressive about the accomplishment of eating a dish of ice cream that it requires praise? : I mean, it's not exactly a hardship that the child has overcome!! It's ICE CREAM, people!! One of the other kids also accidentally dropped his ice cream on the floor, when he had barely eaten one spoonful. The dad made a big point of how he wasn't getting another ice cream, and repeated a couple of times in this stern voice, "You're done, buddy. No more ice cream for you." Then they went and got him another ice cream. I mean, if it was an accident I would just get the kid another ice cream, so I don't know why he made a big point of being punitive and saying they weren't going to get more. But then once that was said, I would also actually NOT get more ice cream. I am certainly not a perfect parent--there are plenty of things that I do that could use some improvement. But I sort of wondered, do these people think about what they are saying to their kids at all? :
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#139 of 368 Old 02-11-2007, 07:16 AM
 
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yep: the praise thing drives me nuts. The breastfeeding support group I help run meets in a childrens centre, and on one of the walls is a list of 101 things to say to your kids, like:
wow, you did a great job, partner
that was fantastic!
(and on, and on, and on)
One of our favourite bored,whyarewetheonlybreastfeedingmothers arewefreaks games is to quote these at each other. Sad, I know.

Gunter, the people that we leave Skye with most (which is still, you know, hardly ever) are the families with older kids where I know the mum well, and know how she parents her older children: so the first person I rang for help with the hospital appointment was the breastfeeding counsellor I run breastmates with and we see at least a couple of times every week. If she couldn't have done it, there's another two or three people that I'd have trusted to be there for us at that time. IME, building a support network is much easier with older children than in the baby years: which is ridiculous, because that's the time when you need them most- but through parenting your children, and in particular watching how other people parent their kids and knowing the kind of stuff they think is important you can build a strong network. So my bf Shonaidh, I met initially because her husband is a shameless flirt, then she carried her newborn in a wilkinet, then Isaac came home and announced that her daughter refused to do something at school because it was sexist, and I knew we were on to a winner. (the kids were 5 at the time ) I'd trust her completely: when someone looks after your breastfed baby and tells you upfront "bring breastmilk" you know that this is someone who respects themselves and will respect your kids.
I stage managed a production of VM a few years ago: I think that we're not the target audience any more. There's a lot of women out there who have been raised to believe that their bodies are bad, or dirty, or broken- certainly, my mothers generation- and I know that when she and the ladies went to see it, they found it disturbing and uncomfortable. I do believe that it's an important piece of social history though, and we should support it and keep it in our theatres to remind us.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#140 of 368 Old 02-11-2007, 07:48 AM
 
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I am so proud of Winter. He is being SO SWEET to baby Suriya. It makes me cry. He gives her these big open-mouthed kisses and lays his head on her and says "Awww..." He is madly in love with her, although he really likes to grab her face. Once I finish off the roll of film in my camera I'll post pics of him loving on her. It is the most amazing wonderful thing. He's suddenly looking so big to me. I still call him Baby Winter though and I think I always will.
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#141 of 368 Old 02-11-2007, 05:59 PM
 
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i don't know about you all but there are so few people that i would trust with ez care. i get frustrated enough when people are around us calling her "sweetie" every other word or telling her "good job" when she so much as blinks or other things like gender based bullshutt. ugh. leaving her alone for a few hours with someone like that would not be great for my sanity or help me relax, either. how do you all leave your babes with people you trust...like, who is that in your life and how did you find them?
I try to say things other than good job when I want to praise Isa for something that I think is a real accomplishment. I figure I can't get everyone else to stop saying to her for ridiculous things, so I might as well NOT use it so she knows I mean it and so it won't float in one ear and out the other. I also hate it when people over praise. It's so irritating. I want to do it to the parents... "good job! I'm so glad you picked up your crying baby!" "good job! Thanks for flushing the potty!" "Good job paying your bills!" I think if I perfected my toddler-ese inflection, it just might change the world.

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today, we saw the "vagina monologues". i went with high expectations and was totally let down. it just wasn't presented how i thought it would have been. for example, the two references or so to birth were not vagina centric or even showing the power and glory of the vagina. a few other things bothered me, too. the parts that really hit me hard and were important for me to hear were the ones about the japanese "comfort women" and about the village analogy. have any of you all seen it? thoughts?
All I can say is read the book. It made me cry. I can't speak for any presentations on stage or video since I've never seen it, but the book was amazingly powerful. Also, if you want a real empowerment book, read Inga Musico's Cunt. This book is no foolin' around. It will make you LOVE your magical vulva and make you want to take back the sacred word Cunt and denounce the word "vagina"... (in case you're wondering, all you feminists, vagina translated means "sheath for a sword" and my cunt does more stuff than that.)

Enjoy!
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#142 of 368 Old 02-11-2007, 11:15 PM
 
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leaving her alone for a few hours with someone like that would not be great for my sanity or help me relax, either. how do you all leave your babes with people you trust...like, who is that in your life and how did you find them?
The only one I have ever left KeaganRae with (besides DW) is my MIL. While it took awhile for her to understand how it is that we choose to parent I think she *gets* it now. She corrected herself the other day when she started to tell him he was naughty - instead told him to be nice and showed him what she wanted
It took probably 5 or 6 times of Keagan staying with MIL before I could really settle down enough to make it worth it. They both enjoy that time together and it is something I would not be able to do with him (they go to storytime at the library one day a week while I am at work).
Good luck in finding the person/persons that will work for your family!

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#143 of 368 Old 02-12-2007, 01:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i don't know about you all but there are so few people that i would trust with ez care. i get frustrated enough when people are around us calling her "sweetie" every other word or telling her "good job" when she so much as blinks or other things like gender based bullshutt. ugh. leaving her alone for a few hours with someone like that would not be great for my sanity or help me relax, either. how do you all leave your babes with people you trust...like, who is that in your life and how did you find them?
I started working again in mid-November, so we found people out of necessity. Neela goes to a really terrific group daycare at the university for a couple of afternoons four days a week. We're really lucky- their philosophy matches ours really well; they cover breastmilk storage in parent orientation She does really well with other kids there- I think they keep her distracted from the fact that mama and dad aren't there. More later... she's walking away with my mouse!

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#144 of 368 Old 02-12-2007, 02:04 AM
 
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Hi everyone!!
I'm sorry I've been MIA, thanks for wondering about me! I am married , and am STILL trying to conceive. Reading up on our February thread(s) has filled up my computer time for the night. I'll be back tomorrow to post a few pics (of the wedding, not the TTC *snicker*) & share my delicious wedding story. I really am sooo unbelievably blessed. It blows me away.



Helen! I'm so so sorry that you lost your baby. : : : I feel such sadness for you & your family. I wish I could give you a real life hug.

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#145 of 368 Old 02-12-2007, 02:16 AM
 
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YAAAAAAY Zjande! So good to see you, mama! I swear, you are just one BIG OLE ray of sunshine, lemme tell ya! I wish you were my IRL friend! Can't wait to hear about your wedding bliss and see pics!
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#146 of 368 Old 02-12-2007, 03:45 AM
 
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Whew! Juggling bedtimes has gotten quite complicated around here. Suriya woke Winter at 6:30 this morning, poor little guy. He gets such a concerned look on his face when she cries. He is really possessive of her, too. If anyone is holding her and won't put her down to his level so he can kiss her, he will grab her and try to pull her down himself. It's so sweet.
I am so on cloud nine. This is so much better than I ever imagined.
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#147 of 368 Old 02-12-2007, 06:19 AM
 
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spiritmomma, Skye has a copy of cunt on her bookshelf. I lent it (copy no1
) to a friend, whose teenage daughters read it, showed it to their friends, read it, talked about it, told their boyfriends about it and then, ultimately, lost it. How cool is that?
Having a daughter of my own, though, she needs it.
DiD Alex watched your photos, ran downstairs, grabbed Isaac and showed him the pictures, and then they've been telling everyone how cool it is watching babies being born. I think you helped them recover from the trauma of watching at least an hour of homebirth diaries a day...
Zjande, I love you and miss you too, but I'm so glad your wedding went well. I'm healing- a lot of good stuff came out of this pregnancy, like
a few friends took a step closer to being good friends. Plus I found out just how bad my local hospital really is (but don't let me go there...) and now I know I'm UCing or hiring an independent midwife.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#148 of 368 Old 02-12-2007, 07:34 AM
 
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Helen, even though Suriya's birth was hard, I am already thinking about when we can TTC again. Do you have any ideas when you may try again? I'm hoping to do it on purpose this time and wait for when I'm ready rather than have an adorable baby just fall into my lap. I'm thinking maybe when she's about a year old or so. Is it possible to be addicted to babies? I am just so madly in love with my little ones.
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#149 of 368 Old 02-12-2007, 11:46 AM
 
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zjande: congratulations!!! : sending you getting pregnant vibes!

Lydia: bedtimes, i can only imagine! ngaio is such a night nurser..if she had to share her boobies she would be none too pleased....and probably never sleep!
i am totally amazed by your want for more babies so soon! i always felt like i NEVER wanted another one till about 6 months pp with elwynn and a 10 or 11 months pp with ngaio.. but right now i definitely want 4 more and long to be but its unlikely to happen anytime soon

and your birth pictures are so beautiful. you and surya look just radiant. *sigh*

Helen: that is crappy about the local hospital..although i totally hear you on it. i myself hate hospitals and would be happy if i never had to step foot in one again..not that i ever had to go to one durring eithe rof my preg. or births, except to drop off a form incase of transfer.. but even them my blood pressure rose. i get all sick feeling in my belly and got all shaky. when i was a child i was very sick and spent months on end in one and it has never left me..the experience of thinking that i was going to die and also of beng tortures with needles and medications and equiptment. it is surreal now, like a dream i kind of remember.. but i do remember a lot. i hope and pray every day that my children never have to go through anything like that...and that i wont have to be the mother in there with them.

that said...it is wonderful that you know already what you want with the next one.. if i didnt bleed so much or have 2 babies that had shoulder dystocia i would freebirth as well..but i just dont know if i could do it with my history of births.. maybe in another lifetime. i like my midwives!

 

 

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#150 of 368 Old 02-12-2007, 02:02 PM
 
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I don't know where you mamas get the energy to want more babies! Especially you, DiD

I got a nice sleep on Saturday night then a crappy one last night (note to child: four chunks of two hours does not an 8-hour sleep make!) and I am feeling very fuzzy-headed this morning. But yesterday I went shopping because I needed more formal workplace clothing for a presentation I'm doing next week and I kind of rediscovered the joys of clothes shopping again. I left Rowan at the IL's and spent two hours trying on TONS of clothes. I ended up with 2 skirts, a pair of pants, 3 sweaters and a blouse, all of which make me look not exactly hot, but certainly less dumpy. I recruited a very nice clerk in Talbot's and she must have gone through the whole store, just picking out stuff for me. And she was great telling me exactly what she thought about every outfit, even talking me away from a suit that I didn't really need. AND when we were waiting for a till to free up so I could part with my vast amounts of money (I'm trying not to think about that part of it all) I was mentioning how this is the first time I've enjoyed buying clothes since Rowan was born and how depressing it is that I haven't been able to lose weight since I've been nursing and she said "Good for you for nursing! That's what you should be doing, don't worry about the weight, it'll come off eventually" and went on to tell me about how her sister nursed her LO for 2 years and her whole family was SO happy about that. It was just a really nice experience.

BUT I do have to say, when you're short and dumpy, you really do have to pay more for clothes that make you look good.

We've been trying to not use fake praise here too, but we need to get the Alfie Kohn book because it's hard to know when it's appropriate to celebrate an accomplishment and when it isn't. At the moment Rowan is trying really hard to get her animal noises sorted out (she knows that tigers and trucks go "arrrrhhhh" and lambs go "Baaaaa" and eagles make a high-pitched screeching sound, but sometimes she forgets and then lambs go "aaarrrrhhh" and eagles go "baaa", so when she gets it right I get excited. She's got the tiger down pretty well, and she's pretty good with cats (mow mow) but the eagle and the lamb are new as of yesterday. Why eagles and lambs? Because they make noises that are already in her repetoire )

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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