Blimey, Nov 05 Mamas - It's March! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 10:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Happy First Day of March, Mamas!!!

Or should I say, this year is really MARCHing onward!

I feel like we should do something fun to celebrate the new month, and the coming of Spring! A swap? A poetry slam? A Caribbean cruise??

Also I had a thought last night - how would everyone feel about creating an address database for our DDC? I'm not sure how it would work exactly, but I think it would be really helpful if we had each other's addresses so that we could send *surprises* to each other, rather than asking for someone's address when we want to send something.

(And, let's keep this on the DL, but I think I might be starting to get a twinge of babylust. I know: ME! It's crazy. See what a few days of good sleep will do to you?! )

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#2 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 10:48 AM
 
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I love the idea of the address list. I'm game.
And yes, happy spring... Wow. March already.
I am SOOOO glad you have been getting better sleep, Amy. I got the worst sleep since the newborn days last night. But it wasn't entirely Isa's fault. We had a pretty rough storm last night (it even woke Joshua ) But Isa also woke up a lot. The longest stretch I got last night was an hour and a half . But amazingly, I have a pretty decent attitude today. (Okay, the first 15 minutes that I realized I was awake for the day, I was reeeeaaallly pissed. But then I realized that I was up for the day and might as well make a good day of it. So I'm trying my best to smile )
BTW, can I just mention again how much I love The Daily Groove? And how much it helps on days like this to be reading The Big Rumpus

Oh, I need a good laugh. I have cleaned up 4 pee puddles off the floor this morning and it's only 8:30!!! (But I'm still smiling, see? Still smiling....)
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#3 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 02:17 PM
 
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Well, there's an address list on the yahoo group but I'd really appreciate adding the non-yahoo mamas in as well, so we can faery each other as and when we want. Personally I like the idea of a caribbean cruise or flying the whole lot of you over here (including Suriya) but I'd be up for a swap as well.
Shockingly, I'm not babylusting I came to the conclusion that despite being a progesterone junkie, I actually WANT to wait 6 months or so before TTC again- unfortunately I did this whilst ovulating, having bd'ed a few (4) days before I'm pretty sure I'm lucky though, this was during the Great Bout of Thrush which would have killed off anything.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#4 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 02:18 PM
 
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oh good. im starting in on this one early this time!



i woke up with a call from my sister and elwynn (he was sleeping over there) singing happy birthday. it was very sweet if not a a bit off key isn't "happy birthday" like the all time hardest song to sing and have it sound nice?
i think i want to start a new traditional b-day song that isn't owned by disney.

anyways.. timothy took the day off work and is making me a special cup of organic yummy esspresso to start me off on this day of my birth.
ngaio is sitting at the table drinking water out of fine chine and singing to herself.
her favorite song to sing these days is "buNNY MONEY" which is what she calls bunny my hunny..she just says it over and over whilst swinging her arms..bending her knees and grabbing her crotch and i swaer..its the funniest thing ever.

i plan to knit and drink coffee while looking out over the sunshiney mountains.then we are going to go adventuring about town to try to find trouble, and to mail some packages.

hope you all have a beautiful first day of march. my favoritest ever month..
spring is in the air. maybe ill get a new baby for my birthday! *i wish* :

oh yeah, speaking of babies..
we adpoted a second lop bunny becase one wasnt cute enuff. her name is floppsy mopsy. she is just the sweetest little thing and bunny is overjoyed to have a companion.

 

 

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#5 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 02:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by spiritmomma View Post

Oh, I need a good laugh. I have cleaned up 4 pee puddles off the floor this morning and it's only 8:30!!! (But I'm still smiling, see? Still smiling....)
speaking of pee.. the other night i had just changed the cotton tablecloth on our kitchen table when ngaio proceded to climb up onto it and pee.. i was so impressed with ther right then, i tell you.

 

 

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#6 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 02:35 PM
 
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: MamaFern!!!!

That's so cute, Ngaio's song-and-dance routine. Rowan's just started being an airplane whenever she hears one (and we live near the harbour so there are always a LOT of floatplanes flying overhead). She put her arms out and back (DH says she's a delta-wing aircraft) and makes an airplane noise. The bonus is she can do this at the dinner table. And she does. A lot.

Spiritmomma, I am with you on the sleep deprivation last night! I think Rowan was overtired and she slept really poorly last night. Up about 7 times, I think. I was sleeping on the foamy beside the couch and eventually (after she fell off the couch a couple times - surprisingly, this DOESN'T wake her up!) I just snuggled her in next to me. And woke up a couple hours later with intense pains in my shoulder, ow. Overall, a crappy night. Early to bed for her tonight!

Yesterday I took the afternoon off (DH needed to work and my IL's needed to get their passports) and we stopped in at the mall and I got Rowan some new clothes. I bought her 18 mo clothes, expecting them to be big on her, but they're not really. Doh. Little bunny is growing like a weed!

Amy, I watched all the Brynn videos on your blog last night. Priceless! She is such a cutie. And I hear you on the baby lust - almost. Until last night I would have said, yeah, I could probably handle another baby in 9 months or so. But this morning - nope. Besides I STILL haven't got my period back so it's a moot point.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#7 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 03:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Happy Birthday, MamaFern!!!!! :

I am glad you found your birthday money a few days back, too! That is sweet.

Spughy, mine just came back recently; I think I've had 3 cycles now. It's been making me all kinds of moody and tired, but at least I have a sex drive now, so I will take the bad with the good! I'm not sure if I really have babylust or not...but I saw one of those mommy and baby shows on TV the other day, and the mama had two little girls, and I just thought...."ahhh, that would be so sweet!" Of course, they make it look fabulous on TV, but I know the reality of it still!! Anyway, I'm not getting rid of Brynn's baby clothes anytime soon; that's all I'm sayin.

Helen, are you still active with the Yahoo group? I should pop over there and see if I would be able to keep up with them. I didn't realize they have an address list, but that is definitely a good idea for those of us over here!

Jaymi, I love the Scott Noelle emails too and I was actually going to thank you today for recommending them! I've really been getting a lot out of them.

Sorry about the restless babies, Spughy and Jaymi. Brynn had a weird night last night, but I think it was my fault, so I don't feel bad about it today. Otherwise though, thing are still going sooooo smoothly! I have to say, it is great.

Oh, and totally O/T: today we were in the shower, and she dropped her shampoo bottle on the floor and said, "Oh dammit!" and I have to admit, I totally had to stifle a laugh! I know it's wrong, but it was just the most adorable and hilarious thing to hear it coming out of her mouth. I did the right thing though and said, "We can say 'Oh shoot!'" and so that's what she said. But still:

And whoever said it a few posts ago: Yes, this is totally the cutest age ever. The. Cutest!!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#8 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 03:27 PM
 
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Amy, that's hilarious.

Nothing new to say here. Suriya has been having nighttime fussiness until 1 or 2am and the rest of the kids wake up early so I'm a little out of it.
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#9 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 04:05 PM
 
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I love the little parrot babies reminding us of things that we say too often. Neela has mastered the perfect imitation of the "warning" gasp that I use (for hot or dangerous things). We've had a couple of swear words from her, but none that she "knows" yet

Happy birthday Fern!!! Wishing you a wonderful day and a terrific year!

I found a bag of kiddie clothes at the dumpster today- so I'm celebrating having a couple of new things for Neela, who is getting so big! She's too tall for some of her 18 month clothes already, and was 24 lb 6 oz last week when I weighed her!

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
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#10 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 04:19 PM
 
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I said it over in knitting, but

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FERN!!!!!!!!!!

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#11 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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Happy March, mamas, and Happy Birthday Fern

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Originally Posted by *Amy* View Post
I feel like we should do something fun to celebrate the new month, and the coming of Spring! A swap? A poetry slam? A Caribbean cruise??

Also I had a thought last night - how would everyone feel about creating an address database for our DDC? I'm not sure how it would work exactly, but I think it would be really helpful if we had each other's addresses so that we could send *surprises* to each other, rather than asking for someone's address when we want to send something.
I'd be in for a swap! And how would this address database work (specifically where would it be located?)

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Originally Posted by spughy View Post
Besides I STILL haven't got my period back so it's a moot point.
Me too. If we end up having more kiddos we want them close in age, but I am trying to enjoy this time without AF.

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#12 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 06:09 PM
 
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happy birthday mama fern! have you ever heard the stevie wonder song that her wrote for mlk, jr? it's awesome and not owned by disney as far as i know. we play it on our birthdays.

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#13 of 269 Old 03-01-2007, 07:27 PM
 
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Happy birthday MamaFern!!!!! Hope you have a great day!!

News on our end is that we should have a formal job offer for DH within two weeks. We didn't think it would be till early April that we could even get an unofficial offer letter, so mid-March is an improvement! At this point, being in limbo for 5 months about everything had just worn me down, and I was actually getting kind of a little depressed and lost a lot of energy for doing things to prepare for the move. I just want to know where I will be--this extended time period of limbo has sucked. But having an end to the waiting and the ability to make a decision in sight within the next two weeks has revitalized me somewhat and now we're getting stuff done around the house to prepare to put it on the market. We were distracted and eating out all the time for a while there, which we totally can't afford, but now I made a meal plan for two weeks and did a big grocery shopping and I've been cooking almost every day, so that's good. And now DH has finished the last of the evening classs he was teaching for the last several months, so he will be a lot more available and less preoccupied to do stuff at home, without constant teaching/preparing to teach/grading to do in the evenings. So that's life on our end!

I agree that this age is the cutest and funniest! Ella just does so many cute and funny things right now, that I laugh so much! Even when she is not right there--the other night after she'd gone to sleep, I opened up a kitchen cupboard where I keep pots and pans to put something away there, and found a banana sitting there that she'd obviously put in there earlier. It just cracked me up for some reason--it was just so random and funny!
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#14 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 12:40 AM
 
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For the love of GOD, I am so far behind! :

I neeeeeeed to go to bed but before I do, two things:

1. I would love to swap addys...what if everyone PMs their address/info to one person (maybe you, Amy? : ) and then that person could PM us all a list? Just a thought. I'm down for swaps, surprises and such.

2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FERN!!!!!

oh...and one more thing...where is this fun toddler you all speak about??? Mine has been a grumbling grump lately because of his molars!
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#15 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 01:13 AM
 
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Amy, thanks for the book suggestion in the previous thread. A few other people have suggested it as well. Amazingly a couple branches of the county library just got copies. Although of course neither of the 2 with in 5 miles of me. I'll just be thankful for interlibrary loans. I had reading the spirited child book back when she was 2 or so and should really take a look at it again. Let me just say after one high needs, very sensitive or spirited child (however you want to call it or whatever she is) this little guy that some people think is so intense is just a breeze. Even when he does things like push his chair over to the stove and use it as a step stool to dig a mini handful of brownies smack out of the middle of the pan

Kristina mom to A 1/12 J 11/05 D 4/08 and tiny dude in late April 2010
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#16 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 07:27 AM
 
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I know what you mean, Kristina. Skye may be clingy as all heck, but compared with the work that goes into parentin Isaac (now, not 5 years ago) she's a walk in the park.
The other possibility for a database would be to put it in a google spreadsheet, I guess- I'm still not very sure how those things work though.

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#17 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 12:03 PM
 
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*trying to catch up while ezra sleeps in*

b/c she is soooo clingy, too that it's hard to fit in mdc time. she does grab a book and sit on the floor or in a chair sometimes though all by herself. i can so say in those times, "like mother, like daughter". she puts the book on her outstretched legs and just looks so serious sometimes. or, she will point and laugh at a page in the book. melts me.

i have some sort of allergy/sinus thing going on. ugh!

my mil may start watching her for an hour on mondays so i can take a much needed yoga class. i have not taken one since we were all preggo together.

we have some plans in the work to live abroad starting this summer. no firm details, yet but we are applying to a year long program that helps set up maternal health care clinics or work directly with existing ones (either through the WHO or through local orgs). We would hope to be in india, again but are open to pretty much anywhere in asia or africa...wow, can i be any more broad? the training starts in perth, australia so we would be true global citizens for a while. our biggest obstacle now seems to be just renting our house out to people we know/trust.

doula mama to my nov 05 and my feb 08 babes who wrap me in love.
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#18 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 01:20 PM
 
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A quick note from work to say,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA FERN!!!! (one day late).
It sounds like you had a glorious day.

I'm game for the address swap, just let me know what the ultimate plan is, and I'll send ours in.

Gunter, how exciting about the year ahead of you living abroad! Good luck as you figure everything out. Ezra sounds adorable. Gunter and flapjack, Finley is also super-clingy.

More soon, and Happy March to everyone!
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#19 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 02:13 PM
 
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Hi everyone!

Gunter - that sounds totally exciting.

And yes, I'm totally in for some sort of addressy-databasy thing. Amy already has my address, if you're doing the collecting, Amy!

Rowan had another terrible night but DH put himself on Rowan-duty so I could sleep and therefore function at work today. So I got to sleep from 8:30 til 5, which was nice. I think I know what's causing this though - my latest attempt to get cod liver oil into the girl. Going on advice I received here on MDC, I mixed it with lemon juice and honey. It does make it quite palatable - I have problems with the stuff too stemming from some childhood trauma - but I fear the honey gave her a sugar overdose (especially since she rarely, if ever gets sugar) and her little system couldn't deal with it. So, up every hour and a half, all night. I'll try a different CLO strategy tonight - maybe in mashed banana and yogurt? and we'll see how that goes.

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#20 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 02:17 PM
 
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spughy, i'm curious...what's the CLO for? i'm glad that you at least got a good night's sleep last night.

finley had a MELTDOWN, his first, last night, before going to bed. it was pretty bad (and he didn't nap either!!!), but once he got to sleep at 9:00 (which is pretty late for him these days), he slept well through the night, waking only twice for milk with me.
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#21 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 02:31 PM
 
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spughy, i'm curious...what's the CLO for? i'm glad that you at least got a good night's sleep last night.
I'm glad too! The CLO is for the vitamins and EPA. I use a high-vitamin, all-natural CLO from Dr. Ron's. And yes, I'm aware that most peds say not to give CLO to children, but I believe that there is a big difference between the CLO that is mostly available today that's been heat-processed and had vitamins stripped out and then synthetic forms added in, and the CLO that occurs naturally with the correct balance of naturally occurring vitamins A & D. Here's an article about that if you're interested.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#22 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 04:42 PM
 
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Kavita~ I'm glad you guys will be out of limbo with a job offer soon!

Gunter~ What an exciting adventure! I hope you'll have some occasional internet access to update us on your work

I may have said this before, but Neela is confused about gender. I think it's my fault- she calls men "man" (usually) and women "people"- which I realise is the way that I point them out. So we're working on "woman". And then yesterday when my MIL asked her what she was, she said "boy". MIL said "no, you're a girl", and Neela shook her head and insisted "boy". They went back and forth a couple of times, until MIL gave up and said that it's futile to argue with a toddler.

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#23 of 269 Old 03-02-2007, 11:07 PM
 
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Gender awareness is not really expected to be developed until 2-3 years old. Killy will be 3 in May and calls waitresses and cashiers "big guy" - which is a bit embarrassing and I have NO idea where he got that from! But, he and I have long discussions about who has a penis and who doesn't, so he does have a pretty good grasp on gender (or at least anatomy!).

Ellie's so precious lately! Except that she's developed the habit of shrieking when she wants something. She keeps adding new words, too, but is so much less talkative than Killy. Even when Killy was diagnosed with a speech delay at 20 months, he still babbled constantly! Ellie's just very quiet a lot of the time. And, since we're working with Killy so much on articulation (he has some articulation delays/issue and so is still in speech therapy), he's really bothered that she doesn't enunciate the end of her words. Today, she held up a toy duck and said, "DUH!!" and I said, "That's right! Its a duck! Duck!" and Killy said, "Ellie said 'duh,' not duck!"

Did I tell ya'll that I finally switched Ellie back to cloth diapers? I'm so glad, my inner environmentalist-voice has finally stopped yelling at me!

Mama to DS (05/04) and DD (11/05), married to a wonderful DH.
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#24 of 269 Old 03-03-2007, 06:48 AM
 
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Well done I felt so guilty the week that we did the kitchen, because Skye was in sposies the whole time. I forgot to mention that she shrieks too Not so precious.
See, you just have this image of a wailing banshee on my shoulder now, don't you? Screaming when she's put down, shrieking when she's happy- it has to be said, it's a very noisy house.
EVERY single one of dad's carers has walked through the door, looked at the bedlam (3 kids, one dog, three adults, one wheelchair, a hoist, a commode and a couple of carers) and gone "blimey" In an odd way, though, it's strangely peaceful. We know that the decision to help keep dad independent is the right one for our family, and that makes everything seem worth it.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#25 of 269 Old 03-03-2007, 07:37 AM
 
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Gender awareness is not really expected to be developed until 2-3 years old. Killy will be 3 in May and calls waitresses and cashiers "big guy" - which is a bit embarrassing and I have NO idea where he got that from! But, he and I have long discussions about who has a penis and who doesn't, so he does have a pretty good grasp on gender (or at least anatomy!).
We've already started with anatomy here. It's hysterical because Ella can't say nipples, but she can point to hers. And has taken to sometimes pointing to her nipples when she wants milk! (Partly because we sometimes call breasts milkies, as well as calling the milk that comes from them milkies. Now that we've added some goat-milkies to her diet, I'm sure she's totally confused! Yes, I swear that I do speak regular adult English to her most of the time. With a few exceptions!!)

And, midwife's daughter that she is, she knows where her "Nye-nah" is and will happily point it out and tell you what it is. DH was sort of traumatized by me teaching her this and her mastering it so quickly, so I tried to teach her to say penis just to totally freak him out, but it didn't take. Probably just as well!! As much as I am not into the vagina term, I just can't get into "yoni" either and then "vulva" just always sounds weird to me. So we'll stick with this until it's time to get more detailed and anatomically correct!

Oh, speaking of midwifery and my DH, I had to laugh at my husband the other day. I have definitely converted him to the dark side. He already had quite an education about normal birth while we were dating and married before I ever got pregnant. But I think the pregnancy and homebirth finished him off. If he ever leaves me for another woman it will have to be for some AP/NFL alterna-chick, he is ruined for any mainstream woman. Here is a snippet of the conversation that we had at dinner the other night about his colleague whose wife is pregnant:

DH: Remember I told you that Joe's wife is pregnant? Well, Joe and I were talking today, and she's due any time now.
Me: Oh. That's nice. He must be excited. Where are they having the baby?
DH: (humphing somewhat.) At the [local-huge-university-teaching hospital].
Me: Umm. (Takes bite of dinner.)
DH: Yeah, apparently her doctor is freaking her out, telling her it's a really big baby. They say the baby is about eight pounds.
Me: Oh, yeah?
DH: Yeah! I told him that they can't exactly accurately predict the weight of a baby before it's born, that ultrasounds are not entirely accurate at determining weight, and that anyway eight pounds is an average size baby. I mean, my mom had two ten-pound babies vaginally! (Pauses, continues gravely) I told Joe that it's a set-up for a c-section! I told him that they should get a doula, but he said that it's too expensive. And apparently she's totally scared about labor and wants to have pain meds as soon as she walks in the door. They took a Lamaze class but Lamaze doesn't work that well, does it? Isn't slow deep breathing better? (Shakes head.) So many women have already decided before they ever go into labor that it hurts too much and they are going to get an epidural. Between that and the doctors convincing people that they can't have an eight pound baby vaginally, no wonder the c-section rate is so high! I said, well, my wife must be some kind of superhero then! She had our baby at home! (Beaming at me.)
Me: Well, I'm not going to say that it doesn't hurt at all--it did! But it's not an unhealthy kind of pain.
DH: I told Joe that I caught the baby! He couldn't believe it!
Me: Well honey, keep in mind that these people have already made their choices and they are due any minute now, they are unlikely to change their minds or accept too much new information at this point, so try not to scare them about things they aren't going to change anyway, it's just disempowering. Why don't you just give him a little information that in the hospital they have choices, and can refuse or question things? Like if they want to give the baby its first bath themselves and not have the baby bathed in the nursery, they can request that. Also, if she is planning on breastfeeding they should keep the baby with them as much as possible and make sure to tell the nursing staff and also put a sign on the bassinette that says no bottles, no pacifiers, no supplements.
DH: Okay. That's a good idea.
(Pause for more eating.)
DH: I told Joe that they should try cloth diapers . . . .


How hilarious is that????
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#26 of 269 Old 03-03-2007, 10:14 AM
 
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I may have said this before, but Neela is confused about gender. I think it's my fault- she calls men "man" (usually) and women "people"- which I realise is the way that I point them out. So we're working on "woman". And then yesterday when my MIL asked her what she was, she said "boy". MIL said "no, you're a girl", and Neela shook her head and insisted "boy". They went back and forth a couple of times, until MIL gave up and said that it's futile to argue with a toddler.
Before you argue, watch Ma Vie En Rose. You never know how she's feeling on the inside! Besides, I personally have gone through many phases in my life where I have identified with the males aspect, then felt very strongly feminine. Maybe she's feeling tomboy today

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And, midwife's daughter that she is, she knows where her "Nye-nah" is and will happily point it out and tell you what it is. DH was sort of traumatized by me teaching her this and her mastering it so quickly, so I tried to teach her to say penis just to totally freak him out, but it didn't take. Probably just as well!! As much as I am not into the vagina term, I just can't get into "yoni" either and then "vulva" just always sounds weird to me. So we'll stick with this until it's time to get more detailed and anatomically correct!
We say yoni at our house. It's a sacred word and doesn't include any aspects of sexual oppression. She can point to her yoni (and mine ) and often points at papa's lingum. Since these words represent a worldview that sees masculine and feminine as holy and worthy of worship and honor, I figure why teach her a word that perpetuates the oppression I'm fighting against? She'll be receiving a copy of Inga Musico's CUNT as soon as she's able to read. Okay, maybe I'll wait until she starts her period...

HAPPY BELATED FERN!
I hope you had a wonderful birthday!
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#27 of 269 Old 03-03-2007, 04:26 PM
 
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One of my sons proudly told his teacher that the new baby (Skye) was going to come out of mummy's cunt. That was an interesting discussion to have at parents evening...
I've set up a google spreadsheet for contact details, btw. PM me your email addy for an invitation thingummy. Is it OK if I invite those people who defected to the yahoo group and don't post on MDC any more?

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#28 of 269 Old 03-03-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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Personally, I HATE HATE HATE the word cunt. It just sounds disgusting and no matter how it is said it almost always carries a sense of a degrading epithet. And yes, I am all aware about reclaiming the power of language, etc., but I'm just not into it.

I don't like the word vagina either, but it's also basically a standard medical term. And if we go poking around at etymologies, there are a lot of words that have origins/original meanings in latin that we would be suprised at/dismayed by, but I don't think that we necessarily connect to that origin every time we use a word. And women in India (home of the sanskrit term yoni) aren't necessarily respected and revered either based on the language. I agree that there is some benefit on having a term for the whole enchilada of the female genetalia, rather than dividing it linguistically into a number of separately named parts which makes calling it a vagina really inaccurate and glossing over the reality, but at 15 months I'll settle for that because to some extent, I am aiming also to teach my daughter language that will allow her to communicate with other people and understand/be understood, so that is what I will call it for now. Once she gets old enough to really be interested (which she isn't right now, she just wants to check out her poo) then we'll start getting more involved. For right now it's enough that she can point to her nose, her eyes, her ears, her tummy, her belly button, her feet, her toes, and her nye-nah!

I liked the movie "Ma vie en rose" but also generalization is a hallmark of this age/stage of development--Ella at this point calls anything with four legs and a tail a dog--so I wouldn't make any assumptions about Neela's gender identity just yet!!
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#29 of 269 Old 03-04-2007, 01:11 PM
 
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Kavita: Sorry if my post offended. Sounds like I may have hit a sensitive issue for you. I agree that at this age, it's not as important to fill my child up with my politics as much as it is that she is understanding concepts and understood when communicating. In the same vein, yoni is easier to pronounce than vagina... Not that Isa is really talking at all. She's still stuck in sign land!

So this weekend I had a breakdown/ breakthrough...
I haven't had the time to post about it until now. But the news is that Isa and I are working on a cooperative weaning process. It's not necessarily being left to her to decide whether or not we are weaning, but I am eliciting her voluntary cooperation, and in return, I am cooperating with her wishes to nurse when she asks. I had a great fear that I would be ostracized from all my "villages" and mama support groups for having this desire to wean. But so far, all the mamas I've shared with have been very supportive and understanding. I don't have any deadlines or feelings of urgency to wean by a certain age or date, etc... but I am actively working on nightweaning as a priority, and then as it seems right, weaning in general. Isa is doing pretty well with the adjustment. Though, she seems confused about the role of food vs. milk. Sometimes when she is hurt (having stumbled or whatever) she signs for food in the same way she used to sign for milk. I cuddle her and snuggle her and then finally, if she's still signing "food" I try to help her find a healthy snack. I figure she will grow out of this need for comfort eating, but since that is what she is asking for right now, I am cooperating with the request. She usually only takes a few bites anyway.

The hardest part is the emotional loss I feel coupled with the new sense of creativity and adventure that this new kind of parenting forces me into. I have felt ready for this for a while and only now am giving myself permission to try it. The truth is that nursing had turned into a chore that I didn't feel good about most of the time. I felt ready to Love Isa in a new way. I HATE that so many metaphors I come up with for nursing relate to sexual relationships, but the fact is, our culture's ideas of Love often fall into a sexual category. But the metaphor that best describes why weaning feels like the right thing to do is this: When one first falls in love, it involves a lot of making out and physical affection. One is sleeping less, but elated. One willingly enters into physical expressions of Love frequently and enjoys it. But at a certain point in the relationship, it becomes apparent that in order to stay together, there needs to be more to the relationship than the physical. The two need to Love each other in a way that invokes their spiritual, emotional, and intellectual connections.
The good news is, Isa and I will not be "breaking up"! But I do feel a strong desire to replace some (not all) of the physical affections of nursing with other expressions of Love. Sometimes I just want to snuggle and cuddle or even play wrestle (which involves her climbing all over me and me sometimes tickling or otherwise playing back) but not nurse. I am no longer game for an hour of non-stop nursing. It just doesn't feel right anymore. I feel like I have SO much Love to give her and so many new ways to show her my Love. Now, though, there is an adjustment for her to pick up on the game. When she first asks to nurse, I offer to hold her, to get her a snack or drink, or to play. This depends on whether I think she's aksing to nurse because a) she wants my physical affection, b) she is hungry or thirsty, c) she is bored. If none of these satisfies her and she still wants to nurse, we nurse. That's option d) Hey, mama, I just want to nurse.
Part of our nightweaning has involved my saint of a husband beginning to cosleep with Isa while I sleep alone. This has helped trememdously. He and I had a long discussion on how to help me stop being a total all the time. He asked what did I need to stop being so angry and so tired all the time. I answered unflinchingly in one word: sleep. So then we talked for hours (while Isa ran around the house naked and hyper and playing and singing and checking in with us, then running around some more) about how to make that happen. We voiced the unspeakable options ("Let's tranquilize her! ) and then tried to find options that didn't smack of child abuse. We came up with nightweaning and Joshua cosleeping with her. She sleeps longer when someone is sleeping near her, but she keeps me awake. Joshua was always willing to get up with her, but didn't wake up unless I woke him. But for three nights now he's been sleeping in her room and getting up with her when she wakes. She is already waking less often and getting to sleep more easily when she does wake. I have only needed to nurse her once a night (!!!) and am feeling like a million bucks when I wake up in the morning after having had at least one 4 hour stretch every night. Ahhh.... I feel so much better. Isa is getting better sleep too.
I feel like I know all of you so well. And I absolutely depend on the support of this group when I make decisions. I felt it necessary to tell my story in case anyone else is feeling the horrible guilt I was feeling about it. Or just so you'll know what may be coming for you when you do feel ready to begin weaning. In any case, I would appreciate any feedback you may have. I just felt like I needed to be honest with all of you on what Isa and I are going through right now. Thanks! And Lots of Love to those of you who made it through this long-winded post!:
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#30 of 269 Old 03-04-2007, 03:48 PM
 
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You know that both my boys weaned/ were weaned by 18 months, right? Alex self-weaned at 17 months after many, many nursing strikes starting from 8 months onwards, and it was a battle to keep him on the boob. OTOH, Isaac would happily have continued nursing a while longer, but I wanted my boobs back, my body back, my bed back- this happened at the same time as his dad and I split up as well, and after over two years of celibacy I gave myself permission to feel sexual again, which was part of it.
With Isaac, we went with "don't offer, don't refuse." His verbal skills, even at 17/ 18 months, weren't good enough for me to feel able to reason with him. He went from nursing 5-6 times a day, to 1-2 a day (middle of the night, mainly) to not waking at night. You may not want to hear this, but for both boys the midnight feed was the last one to go.
With Skye, we're DODRing now, and she's cut the amount of times she's nursing per day to 5-6, which is a level I'm happy with, including 1-2 night feeds. I'm not intending to wean her any time soon (particularly since I suddenly seem to be back to a "normal" menstrual cycle, so TTC, when we do, won't be an issue) but CLW isn't a goal of mine either. I figure there will be a time that seems right for us, but now isn't it.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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