Mamas W/ Toddlers & A Newborn - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-26-2007, 01:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Glad to keep this thread up and rolling!

~WELCOME to the NEW POSTERS!
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Old 04-26-2007, 02:45 PM
 
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Glad I found this thread (have yet to read through all the posts though!) - I was just thinking about starting a "two under two" thread over in tribal forums.

My DS is 20 mos. & my DD is 5 months (about 15 months apart) so I am baby world PLUS to top it all off we have been living with my IL's since my DD was born & my 65 year old FIL has OCD hoarding disorder with newspapers/junk mail.. it is awful! The garage & laundry room FULL of his boxes upon boxes of crap! I had a fit the other week & made them install a fire alarm. I am seriously ready to lose it everyday living here!! We are living here temp. because we sold our small condo last November & we our house shopping, looking to move as soon as we find the right house. My FIL had stacks of newspapers almost 4 feet high in the corners of the livingroom & one day after 4 months of being stuck in this smelly prison, I threw them out, let the rain get them all wet.. FIL dragged them back into the garage all wet & there they sit.. sick! His car is FILLED with newspapers up to the car roof.. it is digusting. I can't wait to move, this has been the worst 6 months of my life.. the only thing that keeps me going are my babies smiles. It is hard.. it is a good day when I get dressed which is far & few. My poor body is wearing out. I have considered getting meds to help aleviate the situational depression I feel everyday from living here but we could be out of here in 2 months so I am torn on what to do. My MIL is on FIL's side about his disgusting hoards.. they wouldn't look/speak/help me with my little baby for a week in a half after I attempted to throw out one of FIL's newspaper stacks.. it is disgusting that that is more important to them then the health of their grandchildren... I guess my MIL doesn't want to deal with FIL anymore so thats why she doesn't bother throwing out his piles - their bedroom is disgusting, you can hardly see any floor.
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Old 04-26-2007, 03:39 PM
 
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OatsnHoney-

It's not exactly the same but my dh and I live with my parents. Its dificult to basically live in someone elses home while trying to raise your children. We
ve been living with them since ds was born and we actually get along very well- mind you my mom and I have our moments
It must be really frustrating not to be able to be in the environment you want for your family. Would your FIL be willing to compromise and let you have a particular room besides where you sleep that could be free of his newspapers? Although I understand that OCD makes it hard to change his routine. My Grandmother had it and their whole house was like a museum. I think that's why my Dad doesn't like to let things lie around the house for too long- he's worried it might end up as bad as it was when he was growing up.

Glad to see more mamas going through the same stuff
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Old 04-28-2007, 01:41 PM
 
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I had put Lily down for some tummy time on a mat and Miguel has been really great with her so I finally felt like I didn't have to worry as much as I usually do. WRONG! We were all in the kitchen with my mom and she was showing me how to use the new juicer. We turn around and Miguel is "riding" his "sissy" like a horse OMG I was so freaked out. Of course she's fine, I picked her up and she smiled at me and I figure he wasn't there for long because she is very vocal when she's uncomfortable, so I think she would have let out a yelp or something. Just go with, it helps me not feel like a terrible mama.: Gosh you turn your head for a minute :
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Old 04-28-2007, 01:58 PM
 
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It's great to read this thread-DS will be 22 months when #2 is born in August.

I have a question: Did any of you "prep" your DC before your second arrived? I was talking to a former nanny the other day, and she suggested buying a doll for DS so he can have a "baby" of his own when #2 comes. Did anyone try this? If so, did it help w/ jealousy at all?

I'm not too encouraged by the idea yet, DS is much more into trucks and cars than dolls and stuffed animals, but if it'd help I'll work on it. Right now, if I hold another baby for even 1 minute, he's pulling on my legs screaming "Up please!"

Carolyn
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Old 04-29-2007, 01:50 AM
 
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Ds brought home a "baby" from the hospital for dd. She loved it. It was the first thing we did when we got home, gave her the present from her brother. She ran around the house telling everyone "my baby brother gave me a baby", "Zachary brought me a baby", "I have a baby too". Super excited. I think she would have loved him anyway, but this seemed to cement the deal. For the first week or so she changed her baby when I changed ds, fed her baby, etc. She lost interest though after that, but will do it if reminded, so if she REALLY wants to feed brother ("Mama!!! He needs MY boobies!!" ) I can remind her of her baby and she usually will be okay with that.
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Old 04-29-2007, 07:48 AM
 
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I got a baby for ds, he has limited interest in it but brings it to me with a newborn diaper so that I can put it on it He likes to poke it's eyes and mouth and squeeze it so that it says mama or papa and cries. I think it will ocme in useful when the real baby is around, he has his baby mop and baby brooms that he loves to help me with so he can also have his own baby.
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Old 05-01-2007, 01:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome new ones~

Whew! I feel like I don't get any time to myself any longer....This last week I was lucky if I got 10 mins. to check my e-mails! OYIAH!

miguelsmom, OMG! Glad Lily is ok! I can totally relate! DD wants to bounce all over her little bro.! I've gotta watch her like a hawk~

I told DD that there was a baby in mamas belly, told her soon that the baby would be here to live with us... While preg. DD would feel my belly and esp. loved to feel the baby kick etc. I got DD a doll sling and we read a few books before the wee one arrived....

DD loves him, every AM she goes over to him and say's Hi little fellow

The other day DS was in our Moses basket and DD was hovering over him, he looks at her and gives a big big ol' smile.....It was really cool to watch them!
Pretty neat as DS is only 7 weeks!

Gotta run~ Hope you all are well, more later
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Old 05-01-2007, 11:09 AM
 
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this thread's getting pretty long. im gonna start a new one for may.
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Old 05-01-2007, 02:05 PM
 
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My 2 are 20 months apart. For me, it is starting to get easier now that Lexi is 7 monthes (the last month and a half has been a huge improvement) I used to also watch my niece, who is 2 monthes older that my youngest, and that really got my head spinning

jeneca mommy to kamille, 6 lexi, 4
#3 due 2/28/12

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Old 05-01-2007, 02:22 PM
 
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It's great to read this thread-DS will be 22 months when #2 is born in August.
Carolyn, I could have written your whole post. My DS will also be 22 mos when #2 arrives, and I am also wondering how best to prepare.

coolshine.gif Mama to DS ('06), DD ('08), and DD (9.18.11).

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Old 05-01-2007, 03:21 PM
 
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I'm glad I found this thread!!!

I'm in the same boat-a 29 month old and a 5 month old. It was really hard in the beginning, but we've definitely found a groove and are working on keeping things going as smoothly as possible.

I haven't read all of the posts in detail, but I'm wondering if there are any other mamas who have toddlers that can't express their anger verbally and resort to biting/hitting/pushing etc. We're dealing with that now and it sucks, big time. Dd does not often direct her anger towards the baby, thank goodness, so I bear the brunt of her rages. But for the love of Pete, I can't take too many more bite marks on my arms. It looks like someone beats me on a regular basis.

I'm so glad that the baby is easygoing and very content. If she were high needs I don't know what I would do.

One suggestion for any moms that might need a break--do you have someone that can come in and help? Give you an hour for a shower/nap? As hard as it is for me to let someone else take care of my girls, I find that a little time away gives me perspective and I come back to them in a better mood and ready to face the challenges that await.

Hang in there, everyone!
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Old 05-08-2007, 12:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all!

Welcome new mamas!

real quick bump to keep this going!

Things have been busy/wild here~
Dd who just turned 2 last week (had a fab. party for her, BTW Well DD stuck a raisin in DS's mouth! I FREAKED-!! I was right next to both of them when it happened, THANKFULLY I was able to get it out before he choked, OMG!!!!! He just opened his mouth thinking it was a boob I'm sure.....I've been trying my best to watch DD like a hawk esp. when she has food! :
We also did a 10 hour road trip with them, it actually went well!

More later! Hope everyone is well!
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Old 05-08-2007, 03:32 PM
 
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So, what do we do? DS1 is 27 mo and is very good with DS2. With DH and me he is rude (has starting hitting and spitting out of frustration when he doesn't want to do what we ask), ignores us (and I only really care when it come sto safety things like running the other way on the street towards an intersection), and in general is fragile (he melts completely with no notice). DH is definitely losing his patience and he was raised in a stricter household so on some level he wants more obedience even though he believes in GD. I'm frustrated too and don't want the majority of my interactions with ds1 to be negative, but when it comes to safety I don't see how to change that.

DS#1 1/05, DS#2 4/07, DD 12/11  homebirth.jpgcd.gif
 

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Old 05-08-2007, 06:31 PM
 
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reillys_mom, I have found that dd1 does better on the days that I make time to spend time with her. It can be really hard but I have started a few routines that work for us.

1. After we eat lunch and before nap we play whatever she wants for at least 15 minutes. Yes, I'm usually holding/nursing dd2 but I am giving dd1 most of my attention.

2. We have a scheduled reading time 3 times a week. We sit down and read books for 15-30 minutes. Again, I'm usually holding dd2 but still snuggling dd1 while we read.

3. I try to get out of the house with dd2 a few times each month, so that dd1 and dh can have uninterupted time together.

I obviously play and read with her other times but these are scheduled times that she gets with me.

We're doing well. I will write more later dd1 is calling.
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Old 05-11-2007, 12:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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~Quick bump!

How is everyone?
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Old 05-12-2007, 01:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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: where are you all!
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Old 05-12-2007, 06:26 AM
 
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Just now joining in. DS turned two yesterday, DD is 5 months. It's going really well now...the first three months were worse than living in an apocalypse.
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Old 05-12-2007, 12:33 PM
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How do you deal with the toddler taking babies soother from her? I have tried explaining that she needs it to sleep just like he does but that doesn't work. This is my biggest problem right now. Otherwise things are going pretty good. Busy but good

Mama to Noah- 05, Eden - 07, Isabella -09 and Cade -11 

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Old 05-14-2007, 03:28 PM
 
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Old 05-17-2007, 01:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just now joining in. DS turned two yesterday, DD is 5 months. It's going really well now...the first three months were worse than living in an apocalypse.
~I can TOTALLY RELATE TO THAT! I'm not even out of the 1st three months yet
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Old 05-17-2007, 01:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi All~

Welcome new mamas!

Life has been so insanely busy! Some days I feel like WOW! I got so much done and this is easy, other days I'm lucky to anything but change diapers and feel like I can't get anything done :

No advice on how to keep the wild toddlers at bay while the babe are sleeping, because that's where my biggest challenge is right now.....Dd thinks it's so fun to scream or try to jump on DS while he tries to sleep.....I'm soooo frustrated!: : : : :

ADVICE PLEASE~
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:55 PM
 
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I hate to admit it, but when activities and a new toy, or a snack won't work...sometimes I bring in Elmo to help me out. =)
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Old 05-17-2007, 08:49 PM
 
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Hi All~

Welcome new mamas!

Life has been so insanely busy! Some days I feel like WOW! I got so much done and this is easy, other days I'm lucky to anything but change diapers and feel like I can't get anything done :

No advice on how to keep the wild toddlers at bay while the babe are sleeping, because that's where my biggest challenge is right now.....Dd thinks it's so fun to scream or try to jump on DS while he tries to sleep.....I'm soooo frustrated!: : : : :

ADVICE PLEASE~
I could've written this exact post, somedays I feel like superwoman and on top of the world and others I am on the verge of tears while walking down the aisle of the supermarket saying to myself "this shouldn't be so hard!"

And my 2 1/2 year old has taken to hitting or poking my 2 month old whenever my back is turned or I am trying to eat or get household stuff done. It infuriates me and last night I had to take a time out away from him after he hit the baby in the head with her toy on purpose during dinner forcing me to forgo eating ONCE AGAIN so I could comfort her.

I wish I had some helpful advice...anyone???
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Old 05-18-2007, 02:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I could've written this exact post, somedays I feel like superwoman and on top of the world and others I am on the verge of tears while walking down the aisle of the supermarket saying to myself "this shouldn't be so hard!"

And my 2 1/2 year old has taken to hitting or poking my 2 month old whenever my back is turned or I am trying to eat or get household stuff done. It infuriates me and last night I had to take a time out away from him after he hit the baby in the head with her toy on purpose during dinner forcing me to forgo eating ONCE AGAIN so I could comfort her.

I wish I had some helpful advice...anyone???
WOW! I just had to deal w/DD hurting DS today for the 1st time! I'm so happy you posted! Not happy that either of our babes are getting the brunt of a toddler! I was so upset that DD actually went over to DS, sitting so peaceful in the moses basket and smiling at DD while she poked him right in the eye! Poor DS cried and he never does! I made a nice soothing herbal eye compress and had a chat with DD~ I'm not sure what else to do ~ I give DD so much attention and x-tra love.... so I'm not sure why she is acting out like this! : : : : I guess i've gotta watch her every move now???
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Old 05-18-2007, 03:21 AM
 
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I have never gotten really mad at my toddler before (or even mad) but the other day I did. Baby was in a swing while I changed my milk-stained shirt that I'd been wearing for 48 hours (we HAD to go out) and toddler would not stop pushing (really hard) the swing. I was scared for the baby's safety.

Well, that was my wake-up call. I do not want to start that path (getting mad) because my toddler was simply being a 2 yo. Getting mad is stupid and ineffective anyway.

My game plan has become to (1) plan ahead as much as possible, esp. when I know I have to go out the next day and (2) prepare for some crying (toddler and/or baby) at moments when safety is #1 BUT make safety #1 at all costs-- without getting mad. For example, my babe would have woken up had I moved her out of the swing (and cried) while I changed my shirt, but that's way better than me getting mad at my toddler.

I am 100% focusing on how I act instead of how my toddler acts. She just gets to act her age (and so do I!).

Oh yeah, and I know it's controversial, but the backpack harness has saved us all (inc. my toddler) from a LOT of frustration when going out.

 2/02, 4/05, 2/07, 11/09, and EDD 12/25/11 wave.gif

 

 

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