April showers bring... Nov '05 Mamas!!! - Page 5 - Mothering Forums
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#121 of 221 Old 04-14-2007, 12:06 PM
 
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kaspirant, you look beautiful in the sneak peak photos! can't wait to see the official ones! you mentioned they are from your dad's camera...i hope that situation was calm and happy and loving, and that he got over his initial ugly response.
Thanks for asking...it was a little uncomfortable at times...My pastor asked him if he would walk me down the aisle...and he said "she never asked me" So pastor came to me and said "It sounded like he would do it if you ask him to. So minutes before we are supposed to start he has dad come over and I ask him. His answer was "I'm here because I love you but I want no part of this." and he turned and walked away.:

So pastor kinda just stared at him ain disbelief and gave me a hug.

Other than that he was on his best behavior and was very cordial. It was nice having him there.



And as for the postpartem question...My goodness I hardly remember my post partem time! DS was in the NICU because he was born premature....and I had been on hospitalized bedrest for 5 weeks prior to that..so it's all kinda a blur.
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#122 of 221 Old 04-14-2007, 01:28 PM
 
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hi everyone..

i havn't read the updates in a while.. im sorry!

we are off to chill with spughy (sarah) & rowan and flyingspaghettimama (lora) and her flying spaghetti baby! im taking my camera, so there will be cute photos later on this evening. hope everyone enjoys this lovely spring day.

 

 

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#123 of 221 Old 04-14-2007, 03:52 PM
 
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Ha ha, I can beat all of you on the prompt showering after birth thing--I got in the shower before I even finished delivering the placenta! (In fairness though I should note that this was because the darn thing wouldn't come out, I was so exhausted that I didn't get any more contractions, and after about 45 minutes I asked my midwife to cut the cord so I could try pushing it out on the toilet, and when that and two shots of pit didn't work I thought maybe a nice warm shower would be relaxing and help me get the darn thing out. Didn't work, and that shower was entirely unsatisfactory because our showerhead in that shower was clogged with hard water deposits and didn't have enough water pressure and wasn't warm enough. So it wasn't that pleasant. Well, that and wondering whether I was going to end up having to ruin a perfectly nice homebirth with going to the hospital for 3rd stage! After the shower the midwives decided that the thing to do was to just tuck me in bed with the baby and give us some privacy for a little while and stop obsessing over the placenta, and within about two minutes after everyone had left the room Ella latched on like a little barracuda and I got a ginormous contraction and and incredible urge to push and the placenta just popped right out! : )
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#124 of 221 Old 04-14-2007, 04:42 PM
 
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I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself. I am a long time voyeur of MDC and have just started posting more. My family recently moved so having MDC has been so helpful since I really don't have a network of other moms where I am. So, thank you all for the common wealth of wisdom you provide. I hope that I also contribute to that pot-o-knowledge as I participate more and more.

Flapjack, I would love to get some additional information on eczema. We use Auqafor on dd, but there are still flare-ups. I think our culprit is tomato, but it's not completely pinned down.
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#125 of 221 Old 04-14-2007, 11:46 PM
 
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Thanks for asking...it was a little uncomfortable at times...My pastor asked him if he would walk me down the aisle...and he said "she never asked me" So pastor came to me and said "It sounded like he would do it if you ask him to. So minutes before we are supposed to start he has dad come over and I ask him. His answer was "I'm here because I love you but I want no part of this." and he turned and walked away.:

So pastor kinda just stared at him ain disbelief and gave me a hug.

Other than that he was on his best behavior and was very cordial. It was nice having him there.
i was really hoping for you that he would change his tune - i'm sorry this was his response, he is the one who missed out on a great chance!

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I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself. I am a long time voyeur of MDC and have just started posting more. My family recently moved so having MDC has been so helpful since I really don't have a network of other moms where I am. So, thank you all for the common wealth of wisdom you provide. I hope that I also contribute to that pot-o-knowledge as I participate more and more.

Flapjack, I would love to get some additional information on eczema. We use Auqafor on dd, but there are still flare-ups. I think our culprit is tomato, but it's not completely pinned down.
welcome to our chatty group

Mommy to a wonderfully passionate little one
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#126 of 221 Old 04-15-2007, 11:04 PM
 
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quick hello....
I haven't disappeared completely. I've just been a bit introspective these last few weeks. I'm going through some kind of change where I feel less like Isa's mom and more like Jaymi. But don't feel bad, guys. Most of my friends IRL are still waiting for me to return their calls too. (This is why I've missed Mama's group, SoulJourney )
Glad to hear things went well, Kavita.
Amy, good luck with your home hunting! FUN!
Welcome, Iadoremybabe!

As for showering after birth, I got a no-soap-quick-rinse shower at the birth center, before being whisked away to the NICU at the hospital where I didn't get a real soapy shower for 2 more days! I still had vernix on my belly just below my breasts where I had held Isa when she first came out! My belly stayed soft for a long time after that... that stuff is magic, man!
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#127 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 01:18 AM
 
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Okey-dokey, I made a quick blog page about our Vancouver trip, where you will see photos of the loverly children gathered.

http://vancouvervisit.blogspot.com/

And it was always nice to see Fern and Sarah, even if both of them are planning to move to the sticks and buy all sorts of livestock and have a peaceful coexistence with nature and make their own goat milk. The countryside, where I will not be visiting them, as I am deathly afraid of the countryside. I think I'm allergic to it. I break out in hives, start talking gibberish about my need for coffeeshops and indie music stores, organic groceries and public transportation, ethiopian restaurants and a large public library.

(I grew up in the country, deep rural WA. I'm obviously scarred. Or scared.)

The Internet is always so nice for that sort of thing! Maybe we can all make avatars on secondlife and have playdates with our umm...avatar-children. Or maybe not...

I like camping though. In public campgrounds. Maybe we can meet up there, gals.
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#128 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 12:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all! We had a good (if exhausting) time in Vancouver except I got food poisoning (I think) from a vietnamese restaurant we went to with my preggo friend - fortunately she didn't eat the same things as me, and Rowan wouldn't touch anything except noodles, so I was the only one lying awake at 2 am Saturday night wondering when a dash to the bathroom would be necessary. Yesterday I felt like crap all day and my tummy hurt after eating anything, but today I'm fine. Note to self: avoid appetizers that involve seafood and arrive at your table suspiciously quickly.

It was great seeing Fern & Lora and the kidlets. The little pile of toddlers was terribly cute but they don't seem to understand "photo-op" just yet. Also, what is WITH the stair obsession?!?! All the fun exhibits of Science World and all Rowan wanted to do was climb stairs. : I will post my photos when DH can suck them out of the camera but I don't think I have any really good ones.

Oh, and FSM - when we do get the country living thing sorted out... we've tossed the idea of a B&B around... you'd come to stay at a country B&B, right? We'd offer "entertainment" for the kids (cleverly-disguised farm chores, heh) but only relaxation and good food for you & your DH. We'll have a looping recording of buses and cars zipping past a window that we can play in your bedroom so you won't even KNOW you're in the country, k?

Kaspirant - I'm sorry your dad was still being all angsty on your wedding day. But it sounds like you're dealing with it well, and you DO look extravagantly happy in your photos

Spiritmomma - I hope you find a good equilibrium between being you and being Isa's mum. I know I struggle with that, but I'm still at the stage where the pendulum - most days - swings far into the "Rowan's mummy" range. That's just where I'm most comfortable, I think, but I can foresee a time when I'll have to make some mental adjustments, too.

Welcome, Iadoremybabe!!!

Oh, and on the showering after birth thing... I had such a horrible birth - I had ob's and nurses massaging my uterus for HOURS afterwards, and I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep - I didn't get cleaned up until the next day. I remember being shaky and unsure of myself in the shower and I didn't have any shampoo or nice soap so it was a strictly utilitarian experience. I lost a lot of blood so I felt very weak and I had DH stand at the door of the bathroom the whole time in case I keeled over. Not so fun. But it was nice to feel clean-ish.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#129 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 01:01 PM
 
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actually, I wasn't just thinking those first few hours. I was thinking the whole first six weeks
For those of you who had c-sections, would you have participated/ would you now participate in a caesarean support group? My old "patch" of the NCT ran one and I'm trying to facilitate one here, because I'm fed up with hearing so many people struggling to come to terms with their section and feeling isolated because they don't know anyone else who feels like this.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#130 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 01:44 PM
 
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Spughy, Oh YES I do like staying in B and Bs, and any chores, um I mean "fun activities" would be great for the kids. And there are very few truly child-friendly b and bs...in England though there is a submarket for it, with little playgrounds, toys and kid equipment you can borrow, and so on.
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#131 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 03:13 PM
 
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I really just wanted to let everyone here know how very much I love this group of ladies. I came in late...and missed the actual DDC of us...but I so appreciate listening and reading and being a part of a group of women who acknowledges the *human*ness of our offspring.

I found a very mainstream DDC that I still pop in and out of. We have over 200 women and most of us are still around..but the group is so mainstream and I never did fit in. Here though I can really share about me and how I feel about being Jacob's mama and people understand.

I feel so blessed and loved that you all not only hear what I have to say about what is going on in my life..but you care too. I posted the same post about what was going on with my wedding in both places...and you guys checked up on me. : I feel so cared for.

I haven't been so much a part of the baby conversations about sleeping and such...because for me I'm not dealing with the same things...I am struggling with being at work...and him growing up too fast...I'm just amazed at how fast he is growing and watching his little personality blossoming out of him.

DH and I are in the talking about TTC stage and I'm looking forward to our little family growing.

I'm so jealous of the mama's who are close enough to get together...and living in places that are conducive to more natural lifestyles. We are working toward that but it seems so far away :

I should get back to work now : I hate that I'm not doing as well at my work as I could be doing and that I'm making other people suffer because of my desire to be home with my family. One thing I did decide and I'm hoping that it helps is that next year *if I can't figure out a way to just stay home and be mama to my kiddo* is to hire a nanny or au pair instead of doing the daycare. I'll get a live-in *we've got the space* and that way I won't have to drag DS out of bed in the mornings and I'll know he's eating what I want him to...and being cared for as close to what I would do if I were able. Any suggestions on how to find a great AP nanny would be awesome.


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Kaspirant - I'm sorry your dad was still being all angsty on your wedding day. But it sounds like you're dealing with it well, and you DO look extravagantly happy in your photos

Extravagantly happy...is quite frankly the most perfect description of how I feel. It doesn't matter what my dad or anyone else thinks...we are a family...we've been a family for a while now...now though we are family in name as well The wedding celebration was perfect in many ways, but in reality it was just that a celebration...the marriage began a long time ago
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#132 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 03:44 PM
 
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Kaspirant, you need to change your sig now too! That makes me really sad that your dad wouldn't walk you down the aisle. I mean it's good that he came and was cordial and all, but I am just kind of mortified that *any* parent of any child could feel so conditional in their acceptance and love.

I have lots more to say but Brynn just woke up, so I'll just say: we found a place to live in Louisville that we feel good about! We're either moving in 3 weeks or 4, depending on when DH decides to start his new job. It's exciting!

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#133 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 04:22 PM
 
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Kaspirant, you need to change your sig now too! That makes me really sad that your dad wouldn't walk you down the aisle. I mean it's good that he came and was cordial and all, but I am just kind of mortified that *any* parent of any child could feel so conditional in their acceptance and love.
I fixed it!! I've been meaning to for a while now...everytime I see my I've been frosted there...

I know what you mean. DH and I have discussed it in length and how our parents have treated us. I pray that we remember now what this feels like so when our kids are adults we can show them the same respect we desire so greatly from our parents.
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#134 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 06:08 PM
 
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FSM, you're giving me Vancouver pangs. I miss Canada. I don't get enough vacation time to actually go home. On a less self-pitying note, the kids are seriously too cute and look like they're having so much fun at Science World. And I'll be back to BC in late August/early September for my sister's wedding, so would love to plan a meet-up then (I'll be through Vancouver, then over to the island for the wedding in Comox).

Welcome, Iadoremybabe! This is a great group of mamas!

I showered pretty soon after Neela was born. It felt good, but I admit to loving the loooong showers during labour more than the post-birth one, where I felt mostly tired and wanting to get back to bed. I did lots of baths in the early days to soak my aching back, bottom and boobs. My midwife "prescribed" three baths a day, but she admitted that she only suggested three because she thought that meant I might sometimes find enough time for two

Kaspirant~ I hear you on the being at work issue. I struggle with being a working mama, then coming home and sometimes acting like a stressed out sleep-deprived b*tch who isn't even *present* in the way I should be at home. Like frantically trying to get dishes washed and laundry done and not even noticing that my dd is trying to tell me a really cute and important story about "chickens. eating. bock, bock." I need to slow down and smell the chickens

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#135 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 06:33 PM
 
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lora, great pictureS! will you email them to me? i would love to have a copy of them.

that was lotsa fun..thanks again!
and sorry to give you hives from talking aout countru living i promise we will have a very cozy home though and if you should ever want to milk a goat you are more than welcome to visit anytime.. or even just to come watch next top model with me on our huge (if not second hand and with only 3 chanels) tv

sarah, thats so lame about getting sick. arg. :
i hope you are all healed up now.
do you wnat m to go beat them up for you?


so i got another 6 hours of my tattoo done. its all prrdy now.. still unfinnished. its taking forever..
talk about me going for the gold. she (matta) laughed and said "this is a very ambitious 1st tattoo you know. you are hardcore" and i said "if i can birth a 10 lb baby at home with shoulder dystocia and not tear i can do frigging anything" this is a testament to that.
i mostly sat, popping arnica and chamomilla and read unconditional parenting, which by the way is going to save my kids lives. im such a spaz sometimes, despte my very good intentions... and i really needed this reminder why sending a kid to time out and saying to elwynn not so nice things about hurting his sister and offering things if he will only eat one bite of dinner and so on is so totally horrible.
i feel like the most horrible mother of all time now. so, it was fitting to be reading the book while being tortured with needles jabbing me nonstop for hours at a time. i friggin deserve the pain. if not the beautiful outcome, since i really truly do try to be unconditionally loving to them.

ok. enough about me.

kaspirant

melW: i would love to see you and neela if you come to the city.

amy :congrats on the finding a home! that rocks! and the new job for DH.. woohoo!

spitrit: nice to see you momma!

iadoremybabe: welcome! beware, its a hard group to keep up with, but totally worth it. everyone here is amazing and so knowledgeble..funny and supportive. if only we all were neighbours. it would be the best thing in the world. we could have our on tv show

 

 

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#136 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 06:52 PM
 
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.
i mostly sat, popping arnica and chamomilla and read unconditional parenting, which by the way is going to save my kids lives. im such a spaz sometimes, despte my very good intentions... and i really needed this reminder why sending a kid to time out and saying to elwynn not so nice things about hurting his sister and offering things if he will only eat one bite of dinner and so on is so totally horrible.
i feel like the most horrible mother of all time now. so, it was fitting to be reading the book while being tortured with needles jabbing me nonstop for hours at a time. i friggin deserve the pain. if not the beautiful outcome, since i really truly do try to be unconditionally loving to them.

I don't know if you meant it to be, but I found that really hilarious.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#137 of 221 Old 04-16-2007, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Awww, Fern, don't beat yourself up. That unconditional parenting stuff is HARD. I've found myself thinking that I'm a horrible mama because I picked my squawking child up and carried her home rather than let her continue to walk in the OPPOSITE direction of home when it was dinner time. Of course, I paid for that one when she refused to eat dinner. But I felt bad doing it too. But sometimes, you just have no choice.

And sure, feel free to go beat up the cook at that restaurant who sent out an under-microwaved prawn-on-sugarcane appetizer. Or just don't eat there! It was at Oak and Broadway - I don't remember the name of it though.

I totally forgot to look at your awesome tattoo! I suck.

Oh, and Mel - if you're on the Island, come visit us in Victoria!!!

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#138 of 221 Old 04-17-2007, 07:23 AM
 
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Fern, I haven't read Unconditional Parenting, but the only parenting books that suggest perfection in parents are the ones who also suggest being mean and horrible to your kids. By making mistakes, you show how to fix them, and how to be honest and how to be the change you wish to achieve in yourself. Good enough is good enough. The tattoo sounds gorgeous, btw
Kaspirant, move to England. Then we can get together all the time (and there's golden handshakes for science teachers...)
Mel, I think you get quote of the day, although it's close. Go smell the chickens and give that gorgeous girl a hug
We do cars here. Cars go brrm, brrm, brrm all day long (specifically, her VW camper van). Thomas goes choo choo choo choo. Buses go BUS BUS BUS BUS BUS until the driver makes us get off because we're being too noisy This is what comes of having two big brothers, I suppose.
So, is it too late to crack open the Barbies?

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#139 of 221 Old 04-17-2007, 11:01 AM
 
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Fern, I haven't read Unconditional Parenting, but the only parenting books that suggest perfection in parents are the ones who also suggest being mean and horrible to your kids. By making mistakes, you show how to fix them, and how to be honest and how to be the change you wish to achieve in yourself. Good enough is good enough. The tattoo sounds gorgeous, btw

it doesn't suggest being a perfect parent, infact it talks a lot about how when we make mistakes the best thing to do is to talk about it so that kids know that we aren't perfect, that we are human, with feelings and emotions and everything and that no one is expected to be perfect, because you are still a woonderful person worth unconditional love despote doing not so nice things all the time...just like them. so many books give this idea that the parent should be eternally strong and never show weekness around kids, which of course is impossible too.. im always showing my kids my emotions, but it also says that its good to apologise to them if we do yell or get frustrated or whatever.. because it shows by example how important it is to be loving and respectful.
i guess the part that struck me is really the need to be doing WITH rather than doing TO.. punishing or telling or rewarding and praising are all things that people do to their kids without much interaction or thought and without letting them have a say or part in the process. i
fall into this with elwynn, not so much with ngaio.. i forget sometimes that he is only 4.. my expectations get a bit ahead of what he is actually capable of.
but even in a day of asking lots of questions and being more into letting him do things his way in his time our house is a LOT more peaceful.
i think that it really is more challenging once they get older. no excuse either, but i have 4 kids in the house most days and it takes a lot of effort to be constantly interacting with them without telling them to do things.. but im trying!

i suggest reading it. its really really good. i was being a bit over dramatic

and tattoo.. yes.. i added a picture to my blog :

 

 

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#140 of 221 Old 04-17-2007, 01:31 PM
 
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Kaspirant~ I hear you on the being at work issue. I struggle with being a working mama, then coming home and sometimes acting like a stressed out sleep-deprived b*tch who isn't even *present* in the way I should be at home. Like frantically trying to get dishes washed and laundry done and not even noticing that my dd is trying to tell me a really cute and important story about "chickens. eating. bock, bock." I need to slow down and smell the chickens
: my house looks like a train wreck. I just can't put it before Jacob. I know there is some sense of balance I need to find...I always convince myself I'll do the chores after he's in bed...but all too often we go to sleep at the same time...ooor DH becomes more important than the housework after DS is sleeping. I know there must be a happy medium...but I haven't found it yet.

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Kaspirant, move to England. Then we can get together all the time (and there's golden handshakes for science teachers...)
That is very tempting


UP is on my summer reading list. I'm very interested in reading Alfie..I just haven't found the time *see previous response to Mel* I've heard such great things about it both from non-internet friends and here.
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#141 of 221 Old 04-17-2007, 06:53 PM
 
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I'm not a very girly mama, either, Helen. My barbies all had mohawks. Fortunately I have a drag queen friend who promises to teach Neela how to apply eye make-up should she ever need instruction. In the meantime I can teach the skills I know- how to tuck a dress into tights to make tree-climbing easier.

Fern, your tattoo is beautiful! And I was just explaining felting to my DH this morning, so I've sent him the link to your lovely felted veggies.

Kaspirant, could the "happy medium" be to hire a housekeeper?

It's pouring rain and hailing today. I hope my lovely vegetable garden seeds are safe in the earth and not being destroyed by the hail.

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#142 of 221 Old 04-17-2007, 06:54 PM
 
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The thought has seriously crossed my mind...
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#143 of 221 Old 04-17-2007, 07:46 PM
 
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Virginia Tech families

I am feeling a lot of sadness.

Ever-evolving mama to my beautiful Brynn, and my little dimple-face Noah .
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#144 of 221 Old 04-18-2007, 12:29 PM
 
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Virginia Tech families

I am feeling a lot of sadness.
A lot of sadness and fear here. I teach in a gang-ridden inner-city middle school. I've been threatened and attacked by students. I had security in my class yesterday threatening to pepper spray a parent who was out of line and harrassing me.

I don't want to come to work anymore. Here, something like that wouldn't surprise anyone...that scares me.
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#145 of 221 Old 04-18-2007, 01:41 PM
 
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Just wanted to say hello - didn't realize there was a thread for Nov 05 mommies! I'm always fascinated to read about other parents journeys and daily lives with children who are my dd's age!

Kier

Kier: wife to Jared, mama to Emma ('05), Savannah ('07), and our newest little love Reid (June 30, '09) -intact because of all of YOU! I had an ecstatic birth, at home in the water!
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#146 of 221 Old 04-18-2007, 02:18 PM
 
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Just wanted to say hello - didn't realize there was a thread for Nov 05 mommies! I'm always fascinated to read about other parents journeys and daily lives with children who are my dd's age!

Kier


welcome. we are normally a chatty bunch. guess everyone is busy out doing stuff!

:jealous:
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#147 of 221 Old 04-18-2007, 03:25 PM
 
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Hee,hee. I just read something on MDC that pleased me greatly

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#148 of 221 Old 04-18-2007, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hee,hee. I just read something on MDC that pleased me greatly
What? What???

I feel sad about the Virginia Tech tragedy too. And slightly worried, because for some reason the shooter reminded me a lot of my BIL, only more extreme. But same intentional self-isolation and judgement of people around him. It is a biochemical brain imbalance, I am sure... but there is no way to help people who do not want to be helped. If only he hadn't been able to get guns. It makes me feel sick to my stomach (and more and more sure that we do NOT want to live in the USA... although somehow there are a few crazies here too that get their hands on guns ) I wish guns didn't exist. I would forego their convenience in hunting to save all the lives that have been taken by guns.

Not much new here. Just trudging along.

Postpartum doula & certified breastfeeding educator, mama to an amazing girl (11/05) and a wee little boy (3/13).

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#149 of 221 Old 04-18-2007, 05:43 PM
 
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Just wanted to say hello - didn't realize there was a thread for Nov 05 mommies! I'm always fascinated to read about other parents journeys and daily lives with children who are my dd's age!

Kier
Welcome, Kier! And congrats on the pregnancy. Our DDC has been looking for another virtual pregnant belly to get excited about!

"Guess what? It's a magical world. And when I sing, my songs are in it."
Madly in love with my 7 and 4 year old daughters

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#150 of 221 Old 04-18-2007, 05:49 PM
 
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i know what you are talking about!::
it is very good news indeed.


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Hee,hee. I just read something on MDC that pleased me greatly

 

 

Quote:
Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right....

 

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