May "06 mamas, week of 9/23/07 - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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Life with a Toddler > May "06 mamas, week of 9/23/07
JayGee's Avatar JayGee 04:47 PM 09-28-2007
Ack I can't keep up! Both DDs are napping (miracle of miracles) so I actually have a few minutes to read.

First of all, Erika, I am so sorry to hear that your MIL is sick .

TV ~ we watch some TV here. DD1 rarely naps so I let her watch an hour most afternoons around 3:00pm. My DH loves to watch an episode of SpongeBob on DVD with the kids just before bedtime (I know, but they all adore this special somewhat "forbidden" time with their Papa!) Kirsten hasn't seen much TV, but does know "BobBob" :.

Spoons ~ Kirsten will ONLY feed herself anymore and is quite adept with both a spoon and a fork. She's got very strong fine motor skills. Things like yogurt tend to get a bit messy though.

Talking ~ huge single word vocabulary (50+ words), but no stringing words together yet.

Babywearing ~ Kirsten is SO not into being slung anymore. She prefers to walk. She would rather push the stroller than sit in it. Her favorite daily activity is to push her stroller to the bus stop to pick up DS, and then shout "BUS!" as soon as it rounds the corner. Then she'll wave madly, screaming "Gubby"! (her word for Jacob) until she sees him and can give him a full body hug. OMG, it's hysterical!

I really feel like she's growing up awfully fast. I mean, she's only 16 months old and basically, nursing is her only "baby" thing left. Talks, feeds herself, walks everywhere, even sits on the potty on occasion to poop. She seems so big to me. It's bittersweet, since she is our last.

TxMominCT's Avatar TxMominCT 08:50 PM 09-28-2007
Hey guys I'm hanging in there. DH and I got to chat for a few minutes Thursday night. We didn't discuss anything that was frustrating us because we both know 1)we didn't have time 2) we can't really change it right now and 3)we'd both end up much more angry before we'd get better and it wouldn't accomplish anything. It was nice just to talk to him for a little while. We hardly ever do that I'm always studying or with Clara when I'm home. Thursday night I decided to quit freaking out about how he isn't doing anything and try to see everything from his perspective, I cleaned the whole house, let him nap and made dinner. I felt better because I was doing something for him, and it really perked him up too. He got several things done today he'd been procrastinating on. That made me feel much better, he even cooked dinner tonight which was great because I had to sit in traffic a long time coming home and wasn't in a great mood. I read a book a long time ago that really helped me with marriage stuff, and it really worked this time! I know we are both feeling a lot better, even though the situation hasn't really changed, and we know it won't until I graduate.

On the happy side, I had my day in an inpatient pediatric psych unit, and surprise surprise I really LOVED it! Before this I was on a strict OB to nurse midwife track, maybe I'll try this out!

Spoon, Clara is okay with it, it's still pretty messy and she gets sick of how much work it takes and switches to her fingers after about 5 bites! (this includes yogart!)

Clara's really vocal and has been stringing together sentences this month, very cool! Most of the time DH and I don't believe it though and deny it unless we both hear it simultanously!

JayGee-I hear you on the baby thing, Clara still looks really young, but her behavior is so advanced! I want my baby back!

gnutter and ecoteat- this is a great group! I love you guys too! It's nice to have a "safe" space with people who share your ideals especially when your professor is discounting them!!!

Someone was asking about babywearing, I got the toddlerhawk, it is the only MT I have Clara was 8mo when we got it so I figured that she'd need a bigger one, she stopped growing though, so it's still WAY big! She still really likes it.

Erika-I'm so sorry about your MIL!

Marylizah- I'm sorry that things are rough right now, I know how you feel about beating yourself up about past parenting stuff, I do it a lot too. Don't though! You are a great Mom and it's never too late to change the situation!

Okay, I'm going to quit procrastinating! I gotta go study!
gnutter's Avatar gnutter 10:41 PM 09-28-2007
I didn't get the toddlerhawk-instead I talked to a WAHM on hyenacart and she is making me a toddler mei tai-she had pics of her toddler in one of hers and it is perfect. I even got to pick my fabrics-this will be a real treat for me because I get everything used-or I make it myself.This one will be handmade and new-I will post a pic when it comes in. I am so excited.

on a bigger note I finished my accounting test. My teacher gave me afew extra days and I have spent like 6 hrs a day on accounting-my brain is fried but all my accounts balance and I will be emailing it to him tomorrow. :
This was really hard because I was two weeks behind from being sick. hurray!

Erika-I read about your MIL--I am so sorry. We went through the same thing with dh's mom. Hers was breast cancer that had spread to her brain. That is a terrible thing-I am so so sorry.
Hevyne's Avatar Hevyne 12:37 AM 09-29-2007
Holy Moly!! You can tell summer is over by the size of this thread Well, I finally got caught up and I need to go to bed but I just wanted to add that LO still loves to be worn b/c it puts him face to face w/ his favorite thing in the boobs!! I have a (I can' t seem to insert a link tonight for some reason...)which is a meitai, but my question is, what is the difference between what I have and a toddler mei tai or a toddlerhawke?
mamacatsbaby's Avatar mamacatsbaby 01:49 AM 09-29-2007
Can't stay long but wanted to give a big to all who could use one . Oh, and I hope I didn't step on any toes with my IL boundaries. MIL and I have been through it with each other before (before DS) and we're fine now. We talked about what happened. I know the type of person I am as well as the type of person she is. I have dealt with enough people thinking they can treat me however they wish and it's just not going to happen. I'm a very loving and caring person. I respect others and deserve respect in return. It took me some time over the years to know and really believe this. Honestly, I do know that I'm not the one and am just not having it.

ETA: I just realized that this sort of makes it sound like my MIL is some sort of tyrant . She's actually very sweet. We had to talk some stuff out though.
**Mia**'s Avatar **Mia** 02:33 AM 09-29-2007
Hi mamas,

Erika, I'm sorry you didn't have a good birthday, and I'm especially sorry about your MIL.

to everyone, it seems like we all need one!

Hevyne, a toddlerhawk/babyhawk is just a brand of mei tai, the one I have has burgundy straps and Mod Floral on one side with a pocket, and Burgundy Gothic Rose on the opposite side with a pocket. I love it and wish Selah would hang out in it more often, I think after reading and talking about it this week I'm going to try to get her on me again for walks.

We're off to my aunt's this weekend, hopefully to relax a bit, it's been a hard week here too. My mom went to Blythe yesterday with one of her cousins to pick up her oldest sister, my aunt who has leukemia. They've brought her out here to their sister's house, probably to pass away, it's gotten really bad now. I'm not meaning to sound callous but I hope it's soon, she's obviously ready, and in such horrible pain all the time now. Anyway, big hugs and prayers for everyone dealing as best they can with the rough situations they're in. Take care mamas!
Marylizah's Avatar Marylizah 06:11 AM 09-29-2007
Max: . Talk about your uterus all you want! You know at MDC we're all huge uterus fans. And mama-guilt-- next to mama-love it's one of the strongest, most overwhelming feelings on the planet. I think we all wonder about doing things differently, often! Your LO is doing so great and she's so lucky to have you as her mama.

Erika, I'm so, so sorry about your MIL. That's just awful.

Mia, I'm so sorry about your aunt. I hope the end is soon and as peaceful as possible for all of you.

MCB, I don't know if you were talking about my post but I just wanted to say you didn't step on any toes with me!!! I thought MIL and I had hammered stuff out, but I think the coming of the grandchild and then of course all the trauma surrounding the war and the way they arrived here sort of upset the balance we had established. I am not a very confrontational person (though I'm getting better at it) and anyway.... Looking back, I wish I had been more assertive with her to make life better for all of us. It's too late to change what happened, so I'm trying to make my peace with it, draw my lessons and move on. But just wanted to clarify, you know I love you lots, mama!!

gnutter, ecoteat: I couldn't agree more! This place has gotten me through some seriously tough times.

Have a good Saturday, all.
~*max*~'s Avatar ~*max*~ 09:11 AM 09-29-2007
Good morning mamas. Rough night here last night - LO was up & screaming a ton. She was definately in some kind of pain - I think teething or ears. When I trie asking her what hurt, she put her fingers in her mouth so it is likely teeth. But this was pretty severe for teeth! I even gave her ibuprofin and it didn't seem to help at all. My ped office is open on weekends, but all I can think of if we go is I'll probably get stuck seeing the ped there who recommended the CT scan. I am not ready to deal w/her yet! The other thing I am wondering is that I have been avoiding onions for most of LO's life. They really seemed to upset her tummy when she was little. Last night dh made something w/a lot of onions. I ate it bc it seemed she had grown out of this, but maybe not? Anyone else's dc still have nursing food sensitivities?

And I must agree w/all the mamas who posted about this - our thread is such an amazing support. I really look forward to "talking" to you all each day and you have helped me so through so many tough times. I am a pretty reserved/private person IRL, so like I said about my prolaps, I rarely talk about these things. It helps so much to know I can come here & talk about anything and always be supported.

And for a few personals, Erika, I am so sorry about your MIL. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Mia, I am also so sorry about your Aunt. I am sure that being near you and her loved one will help make her time peaceful.

Gretchen, hooray for finishing the accounting exam!! Great work mama. And your new mei tei sounds really nice. Enjoy your special treat! I have a luscious velvet-like Eden mei tei, but sadly it doesn't get much use. LO is too big for the front carry & the back is really uncomfortable for me. Sometimes dh wears her on his back. I still ring-sling her quite a bit when we are out though.

Now Lo is awake... be back soon. Love to all,
mamacatsbaby's Avatar mamacatsbaby 10:55 AM 09-29-2007
Oh Marylizah I'm glad mama! I used to have a problem being assertive and expressing my feelings, sometimes still have to talk myself through it, sometimes doesn't happen, and I react strongly to people being mistreated and disrespected.

Your ILs just piss me off . And I cannot stand the way your MIL is being. It makes me angry and frustrated that you have to deal with it so I guess all that came out in my post. I'm very sensitive to other people's emotions, IRT or over the 'puter.

So yeah, I've dealt with people trying to pull crap on me and at times I've let it happen as I didn't want to be seen as "mean" or "difficult" or other things. I've promised myself not anymore. I now realize strong doesn't equal mean or beeyotchy. I can still be nice and be straightforward about my needs and wants but if the claws have to come out so be it : . I get tested on this all the time. Sometimes it's all good, sometimes I need to work on it.

Gotta run, off to the last farmers market in the park for the season! Happy Saturday all!

ETA: smilie fixage and typo corrections
~*max*~'s Avatar ~*max*~ 12:23 PM 09-29-2007
Is anyone dressing their kids up for Halloween? We just had fun going through our box of costumes, trying them on, and having the kids chose what they want to be. I was going to buy them their costumes this year, but money is tight right now and we have all these fabulous homemade cotumes that a relative gave us. The kids were very pleased, so I am glad. The each get to be two things, since we have two events (at least, probably more) and lots of costumes to go around. Ds(7) is going to be a bat. His costume has really cool wings. He loves it so much he wants to wear just this one. Dd(6) is going to be a panda bear and an indian princess. Dd(3) is going to be a fairy and Violet from Incredibles. And LO inherits a fleecy pink bunny costume as well as a dalmation puppy costume. Phew! That's one less thing to worry about buying.
Peppamint's Avatar Peppamint 01:08 PM 09-29-2007
Whew- you guys have been busy!

Baby carriers- we have a MyPouch (MT type carrier) that we use but I've messed up my shoulder so we'll be using the stroller more than usual for a bit while I get it back in shape. I found a new chiro yesterday (5 minutes away instead of 20 minutes south) and she fixed me right up but I think I messed up my nice adjustment picking Audrey up a bit ago with my right arm. She takes the kiddos' insurance and even though my adjustments will cost a bit more, I won't have to drive so far and use gas so it works out alright.

Kristina- I totally KWYM. Audrey uses the potty a lot, speaks tons of words and a few phrases and just tries to act like her big siblings and I feel like her babyhood just flew by!

Sheesh, I know I'm not doing well with personals. Marylizah- huge, huge . And yes, that postpartum time can be a really hard time. I'm sorry your ILs have been so rough to you.

Well... I got my first birth! It was a primip mama and she did fabulous. I spent 4 hours on the road round trip, and was only there an hour and 20 minutes before she had the baby. It was soooooo cool. I got home at 9:00 at night to nurse Audrey to sleep and then left 30 minutes later to go to another mama's labor. I was there for 13 hours before she transported, she ended up with another c/s after 40+ hours of labor. We tried tons of things at home and she had the epi and pit at the hospital which ought to have done the trick but it didn't work. Mom and baby are doing well now though. I'm glad I got the good birth first though.
TxMominCT's Avatar TxMominCT 01:18 PM 09-29-2007
Originally Posted by busybusymomma View Post
Well... I got my first birth! It was a primip mama and she did fabulous. I spent 4 hours on the road round trip, and was only there an hour and 20 minutes before she had the baby. It was soooooo cool. I got home at 9:00 at night to nurse Audrey to sleep and then left 30 minutes later to go to another mama's labor. I was there for 13 hours before she transported, she ended up with another c/s after 40+ hours of labor. We tried tons of things at home and she had the epi and pit at the hospital which ought to have done the trick but it didn't work. Mom and baby are doing well now though. I'm glad I got the good birth first though.
No time for a lot of personals but I wanted to say that I'm so jealous BBM! I can't wait to start studying midwifery! (that's a pretty long way down the road!) Congrats! I'm so glad you had a good first experience!
NYCVeg's Avatar NYCVeg 02:00 PM 09-29-2007
Carriers: we still have a babyhawk that we use for short trips (walking the dog, etc.). What's a toddlerhawk for? I thought the babyhawk worked for 30 pounds or so.

Halloween: I looked and looked and couldn't find a costume I liked for dd. So we copped out and got her an orange shirt w/ a black cat on it.

Sleep: dd was going to bed at 7:30, waking at 5, nursing, going back to sleep for an hour or two. Then last week she went to bed at 7:30 and started waking at 4 (then nurse, sleep for an hour or two). The last two nights it's been more like 3. Is she telling us she wants to go to bed later, or do you think this might just be a fluke and she'll settle down again? She seems tired when we put her to bed--eye rubbing, clingy, asking to nurse, going to the rocker and patting it--but we also have a bedtime routine (bath, PJs, books, quiet play, bed), so I don't know if she's just sort of going with the routine. I really value my time in the evenings so I'd love to maintain the early bedtime, if possible.

Another question: does anyone else's LO love walking backward? Dd figured this out a few weeks ago and she thinks it's hysterically funny.

Finally, nursing: how many times a day does your LO nurse? Dd still nurses 7 or 8 times. We went to my (generally VERY pro-bfing) ped yesterday and she said I should maybe think about cutting back a little. I was so surprised that I forgot to ask why that might be a good idea. So I'm wondering if there's any reason to and/or if your LOs are nursing as much.
~*max*~'s Avatar ~*max*~ 02:34 PM 09-29-2007
Amanda, re: the sleep - LO did that exact same thing, waking an hour earlier each night. It got to the point that we had to really work on the night weaning again, bc it just crept back up on us. The thing that works for us now is to have dh do the night wakings. He rubs her back & sings to her and she goes right back to sleep. If I do that she just screams until I pick her up & nurse her.

As for the nursing during the day, for a while there I was really trying to only nurse first thing in the morning, before bed & naps. Then we had the stress of the head shape situation, and I was so worried about her, I gave up on setting nursing limits. So right now she probably nurses about as much as your LO. I think soon I may go back to more of a schedule. LO helps herself to nursing (she'll come over, lift my shirt, and dive in), which is kinda funny when we are at home, but can be embarassing at inopportune times. And the majority of her nursing sessions are very brief, just kind of checking in w/me.
So, we'll see. Your ped probably wants dd to nurse less & eat more solids. I have heard that before from my ped.
TxMominCT's Avatar TxMominCT 02:34 PM 09-29-2007
The toddlerhawk is basically a baby hawk that's longer, so you could use it to 40+lbs. (I'm sure you could also do that with a babyhawk) I think you could carry a much older child in it (5-6yo?) I actually have the old babyhawk XL which is EXACTLY like the babyhawk, but longer. It's actually still too long for DD! But she likes it!
ecoteat's Avatar ecoteat 03:51 PM 09-29-2007
Bah...I can't keep track of who said what! But there are a few things I want to respond to.

Carriers: Phoebe doesn't usually tolerate the sling anymore, but I can keep her happy in the Ergo or my homemade MT. I noticed a tear in the strap of my MT today, though, which was a little scary! I'll fix it this weekend I hope.

Halloween: Phoebe will be a big. We bought a costume at The Children's Place outlet last January super-cheap. I don't know what I should be, though. Something that has to do with the bug would be fun. We have a Halloween parade at school and then there's a big party at school that night. It's hard for kids to trick-or-treat with it being so rural, so they go to parties instead.

Nursing: Phoebe nurses every 2-4 hours, round the clock. Unless it's Friday, when I'm at work all day, and she goes from 7am to 4pm. Yesterday after lunch, she was all droopy and tired and led dh upstairs to her room, where she started saying "Boppy!" over and over. I still use a Boppy pillow when I'm nursing her to sleep, so Boppy=milk to her.

Feeding: DH is way more concerned about food messes than I am, so he tries to control where each bit of food goes. I just laugh at him and hand her a spoon with food on it or pit a small pile of finger-food in front of her, but her oppoerunities to use utensils herself have been limited, I think. She is getting better at it though, and I do think her messes are smaller than they could be, so maybe dh is on to something.
gnutter's Avatar gnutter 04:03 PM 09-29-2007
The toddlerhawk is longer-which I needed-my mei tai was homemade from a wahm and the body is too short for wyatt. I also didn't have any sort of fold down top or anything that makes some of them longer-like a headrest sort of.-so my old one was really short in the body. the one I am having made is longer in the body and has some padding to it in key areas.

I made an 80 on my accounting test! I am so excited. I was really behind and had to work my butt off to get that.

BBM--congrats on your first birth. that is very exciting.

I have the halloween costumes my mom made for us when we were kids-they are too big for wyatt though. I am thinking I will try to make him something easy-like a set of baby scrubs and then he can wear them as pajamas later.

Wyatt is opening doorknobs now--any good childproofing tips here. Most of the doorknob things I have seen are adult proof too and then you can't open the door. I have started locking our bedroom door because he sneaks in really quiet and takes the ink cartridge out of the fax machine! Then he will just lay it down in somerandom spot and you have to find it. Why does he do that? :
JayGee's Avatar JayGee 06:08 PM 09-29-2007
BBM ~ how wonderful! Glad your first birth went so well .

Nursing ~ Kirsten was nursing 3-4x a day, but when she got so sick two weeks ago, she was nursing constantly, I mean at least 15x a day. She's backed off a little, but still nurses 6-8x a day (and is back to waking at night too ).
Hevyne's Avatar Hevyne 07:06 PM 09-29-2007
lo on lap

Peppamint's Avatar Peppamint 09:38 PM 09-29-2007
Originally Posted by TxMominCT View Post
No time for a lot of personals but I wanted to say that I'm so jealous BBM! I can't wait to start studying midwifery! (that's a pretty long way down the road!) Congrats! I'm so glad you had a good first experience!
Cool... are you planning to finish nursing school and then attend midwifery school to become a CNM? Where do you plan to practice (home, hospital, birthing center)? Do you plan to move back to TX by then?

Thanks everyone, I'm pretty excited. I'll be bummed when they don't need my help anymore because it will be awhile before I can get an apprenticeship because we'll have to move for one and we need a big savings first.
Blue Lotus's Avatar Blue Lotus 10:15 PM 09-29-2007
You mamas are way to fast for me the last day or two!!

No time for personals right now, but I was wondering if anyone is a big fan of Stargate: Atlantis??? My stupid DVR didn't record it last night, and we totally missed it! If someone taped it I would be totally willing to pay for it to be shipped here..... :

(YAY BBM on the first birth!!)
TxMominCT's Avatar TxMominCT 02:11 AM 09-30-2007
BBM: I'm not sure where I'll practice. Ideally I'd like to be in a birth center setting with a hospital that I have priviledges at very nearby. Then I could follow any transfers into the OR and be with them potentially. (hopefully I'd have very few of those!) We'll see though! I do hope we'll be back in Texas then, actually I'll probably go to school there, and get my Doctrate of nursing practice in nurse midwifery since they are kinda going away from masters programs. Anyway sorry to ramble on about me! I gotta study and go to bed. Good night!
ecoteat's Avatar ecoteat 09:19 AM 09-30-2007
~*max*~'s Avatar ~*max*~ 09:23 AM 09-30-2007
gnutter, about the babyproofing doors - sometimes just a snug sock on the doornop makes it difficult for the little ones to turn the handle and that will deter them. For safety-related concerns (like the bathroom closet in our house) we put a hook and eye latch up high so that only adults can reach it. My son was into everything, so we became babyproofing pros. My daughters just weren't as driven to explore.

BBM, congrats on your births! Very exciting.

Kathryn, sounds like you have a very excited ed plan yourself! We need more midwives like you two!!!

Blue Lotus, sorry, never even heard of it. Check on the Media/TV forum, I bet you could someone who taped it there if no one here has.

JayGee, we have had those nursing set backs too after illness or travel. Eventually we have always gotten back on track, but it does take some work. I hope Kirsten starts sleeping again for you real soon!

Ecoteat, Phoebe's bug sounds cute. You could be her flower!
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