Gosh, December already! I made a photo book for Jason's mom (she doesn't have internet so she never gets to see my blog) of the highlights of the past 12 months from Brynn's perspective, and it made me realize how quickly this year has passed! I'm kind of in shock that it's going to be 2008 in a matter of weeks. Have y'all started listening to Christmas music? I always do the day after Thanksgiving.
There are so many active discussions right now, so this is going to be a long one...
On the topic of night-weaning and sleep....Brynn has slept horrifically the past 3 nights, so don't get your chasmere yarn out yet, Helen. She's gotten into the lovely habit of tantrum-throwing over just the past few days, so when she doesn't get milkie at any hour of the night, it's hysterical shrieking for a good 10 minutes. Super fun! No, I haven't backed down and nursed her; it's just something we're going to have to work through. Good luck to all of you in the night-weaning process. Oh and
Spughy, I think you asked if we had tried resolving the sleep issue with me sleeping in a separate room and Jason sleeping with Brynn. I don't think we ever really did it seriously because at the time I didn't feel comfortable denying her milk. So, not, not really.
As for the parent issue (sigh) -
Gunter I so remember your feelings towards your mom when we were pregnant; I am happy you have worked toward a resolution with her and you feel good about your relationship now. My mom got in touch with me after Brynn was born (we hadn't spoken for ~4 years prior to that, and my request) and we began a very tentative email correspondence that lasted for several months before we talked on the phone. Ultimately I have realized she hasn't changed *at all* but I have just resolved not to have any expectations of her, so I am never disappointed! The gist of it,
barcelona, is that she married a very abusive man when I was around 7-8, and didn't protect me or herself from his abuse. I lived with my dad from 7 until 13, but then I think when I hit puberty I really felt the need to be with my mom, so I moved down to California to live with them. My high school years were really hell, and it culiminated with me getting married 2 months after I turned 18 (which was also the day I graduated high school) because I needed to get out of the house! I then ended up funding my mom's divorce and move and really began "parenting" her, which was a really f-ed up dynamic that lasted for years. Anyway, the bottom line is that she is VERY immature, selfish, and irresponsible. She has a total "victim" mentality; nothing is *ever* her responsibility or fault, she is super critical of everyone and everything, and just kind of loser, really. I've never truly figured out the nature of her relationship with her parents but she has alluded to the fact that she never felt really loved by her dad, so I guess that's where her story begins. At any rate, I feel that no matter what childhoods we had, it is OUR responsibility to grow and heal ourselves if we need to in order to be healthy parents. But to this point, she has never seen Brynn, though I have invited her twice to come out (she lives in California), so I'm pretty much done offering, and I'm not going to make a trip out there to see her. So there ya have it.
Helen and Teresa, those little stories of your toddlers and their food experiences cracked me up!
Jen, I hope you are right and that at some point, she will crave affection that isn't booby-related.
Spughy, I *love* Rowan's hair cut!!
She looks absolutely adorable.
Gunter, I will talk to Victor about getting a print. Is that what you had in mind, or did you mean a digital copy? You can PM me and we'll figure it out.
I am totally flattered that you want a copy!!
barcelona, that is so cute that Finley tells you he loves you so much! Brynn signs I Love You a lot, so I actually do get told that probably once a day at least, so I don't feel as bad about not getting cuddles. She also says the most hilariously sweet things, like, "Mama, you are soooo beautiful. Your hair is very soft," or "Dad, you are the *best*!!" It's so sweet.
So yes, Brynnie is going to be 2 on Monday, and I will tell you that it is pretty obvious lately. As I mentioned before,
the tantrums have begun and we have found that the only effective way of dealing with them is to first give her a lot of love, empathy, and compassion. We ask how we can help her, if she can tell us what she needs, etc. The answer to everything is "NO!!!" So after a few moments of getting our full attention, we just say, "OK I'm going to go in the kitchen to make a snack. Let me know if I can do anything to help you." She usually runs into her room, throws her pillows and blankets off her bed, and then calms down and comes into wherever we are and is ready to be held. We were both saying this morning that we don't know if that's the "right" way of handling it, but nothing else seems to work, and I think as long as we are showing her love and aren't punishing her for her behaving that way, it should be OK. Are any of the other toddlers going through this? What are y'all doing in response?
The other news I have to share is that Brynn's birthday party is tomorrow (yay!), and we had originally planned to have the party at the zoo but it looks like it's going to rain tomorrow, so we've opted just to go really low-key and have a small get-together at a new coffee house/vegetarian cafe that also has a toddler play area.
(Which
Kavita so cleverly suggested!) We *really* didn't want to have a party at our house so I think this will be a really good solution.
Oh and happy wedding day,
DiD!