I am starting to feel better...but I've a long way to go to feel *good* again.
As far as the marriage questions go. I feel like newlyweds is such a subjective word...but for us, it hasn't been a year yet...though we've been together nearly 3. We are still in the baby stages of marriage by all means. However, we made the decision on our trip to San Diego after the wedding...that *every* vacation we take is our honeymoon
We love to laugh together, to talk and to share. I don't see that changing anytime soon. Our fights (arguments) have all been more like discussions than fights...which is a breath of fresh air for me as my parents screamed and threw things when they discussed anything. My first marriage was much of the same. I was belittled, screamed at, thrown things at (vacuum, recliner...the list goes on) came home one day to find all *my* things on the front lawn...I yelled then...more to be heard than anything. But I don't know..we don't...we haven't...and I pray we never get there.
We have had hugely in depth discussions about an *AP*marriage. We spend so much time being attached to our kids that we feel our marriage deserves the same respect and effort we put in to how we parent our son. I do know there have been times DH has pointed out to me that I have spoken to him in ways I would *never* speak to Jacob. He's right. I am working on not doing that. I find when I do it's when I have an expectation that he as an adult should know better...Jacob being 2 just doesn't know better...but that doesn't give me the right to talk in that manner to him.
We have a hugely open communication relationship...a conversation at 2 am last night comes to mind. We get angry...but we deal with the anger by discussing and sharing and coming to a place we can all be at in a peaceful manner. This has been SEVERELY tested at our house in the last month. I have been SO ILL...and pregnant on top of that. My hormones are out of control...I have been a pill to live with. My job is horrible. But none of that is an excuse. It sure has been trying though.
That's why we are going OUT tomorrow. We are SO stinking excited about seeing WICKED. I *LOVE* the story. I can't wait to see the play. We have awesome seats and we got a killer deal. It will be the best anniversary present EVER *even if it is a few months early.
The side story of the marriage/family questions...We DON'T live near family and we WON'T. My family is as far from AP as you can possibly get. I love them, we love spending time with them, but we are EXTREMELY grateful for the continent between us. (North Carolina to California) We *want* our kids to know and love their cousins...but we are not interested in them being around the kind of environment that the homes have. Jacob was bit by his cousin who was 1 at the time. He had her toy, she wanted it. Her mom (my sister) SCREECHED at her ran over to us and grabbed her with such force she started screaming and BIT HER TILL SHE BLED. NO thank you. I love my family...but that's not the *help* I need.
DH's family...Oy vey. We love them, but again, in small doses is MUCH healthier for us. Just after Jacob's first birthday we were visiting. MIL took us to get Jacob's one year pictures. On the way back he was fussing. We deduced he had a dirty diaper. She refused to stop so we could change him...we had to continue 20 minutes down the freeway with him screaming in discomfort because she wouldn't stop for the 5 minutes to change him. She finally stopped in a grocery store parking lot for me to quickly change him in the car because the screaming was too much for her. I was bawling by this time. She didn't take the time to pull into a space just behind parked cars. She then had someone want out and pulled the car with my door open and Jacob out of the seat out of the way of the car I was LIVID> We got him changed and 5 more minutes down the road he started crying again...he was now hungry and needed to nurse...I had not mastered nursing in the car at this point and asked her to just drop me off somewhere...SHE WOULDN"T DO it...why? what was so important that she wouldn't stop for us to do this?!?! A manicure.
So we can see the wonderfulness of having family close...but are seriously grateful that ours isn't close to us.
We haven't had much problem with the electronics...but then we don't have a DVD player, TV, VCR or anything like that. We have the laptop and it's put away when not in use...the desktop isn't even set up right now and when it is it will be in the downstairs where the kids don't go so DH can do his school work in peace. I can see though if we had those things how they would get abused...
I bought newborn dipes today *yay* I'm so excited. We have a dozen or so prefolds, some proraps, some other random covers and 16 kissaluvs size 0. I'm so excited. With Jacob we did a diaper service, so I don't have newborn dipes.
MIL offered to pay for a postpartum doula...I think I'll take her up on it. Now I need to find one...
Okay I need to get back to the mountains of paperwork.
PS Barcelona...we are planning a big snowday for Jacob in February..you should come too. Here's the link...let's email and come up with some dates if you guys think you'd enjoy it too. http://www.alpineslidebigbear.com/snowplay.html
This place is a just a jog away from our new cabin so we could go play and then come back to the cabin for some crockpot soup...yum. Email me...