She's 19 months and it's time to start potty, where do I start? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 08-21-2003, 08:48 PM - Thread Starter
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It's time for my dd to start potty training. I have the potty. When I remember, I try to invite her to come to the bathroom with me when it's time for me to go, and I sit her on the potty, but it lasts two seconds and she's off.

How do you begin potty training?

Do you take off their diaper and make them sit there? How does it start?

She is not verbal yet. But very aware of when she is pooping - I know poop will be a long way off.

Anyway - how do you just start this thing? and how do you have consistency at the beginning?
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#2 of 16 Old 08-21-2003, 09:02 PM
 
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I tended to just let my kids lead the way. Some weren't potty trained until they were nearly 4 while others were trained by 28 months or so. My opinion is to just let them decide on their own when they're ready. Other wise it's more work for you and them. A good idea might be to just have the potty out for your child to see and also to maybe read some books or get a video from the library talking about the potty. Good luck!

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#3 of 16 Old 08-21-2003, 09:02 PM
 
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I don't mean to be ignorant, but why are you starting to "train" her? It doesn't seem like she has asked to learn to use the potty. Is she refusing diapers? Or have you just decided to teach her? I only ask because I'm sure we have all realized that children don't do a DARN thing until THEY are ready. And rightly so. I dont' mean to upset you certainly, I'm just curious.
My daughter was 2 1/2 when she told me one morning that she wanted to wear panties that day. She ended up with 9 accidents that day and the next two days in a row. And she WANTED to learn. She TOLD me she was ready. So be prepared for that. Pick a week where you dont' have ANYTHING going on. You don't want to have a child potty learning and be running errands. Best thing to do is just stick her in panties, take her to the potty every half hour or so all day. Be consistent with that. Panties are best because she will see the puddle on the floor and feel wet. She will learn to associate the feeling of wetness with having an accident. Don't yell about accidents. Simply clean up the accident and let the child know that pee pee or poop belongs in the potty or in a diaper and you knwo that she will make it next time. No big deal. It sounds so simple I know. And it really is. It just takes time.
I wish you the best of luck.
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#4 of 16 Old 08-21-2003, 11:58 PM - Thread Starter
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Well I guess I just thought I didn't want to stunt her or make her be behind other kids because I wasn't being proactive about it. I'm so aware when she's pooping now, sometimes she's in the crib and I feel like she can't get out and go to the potty because she's a captive in there in the early morning before we're up.

I didn't realize you were supposed to wait until they tell you they want to wear panties... I guess it's not time yet then. How will she even know what panties are if she's never had them?
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#5 of 16 Old 08-22-2003, 12:16 AM
 
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Hi, I just wanted to agree with pp's. I dont think you need to rush it. I have decided with dd#2 to not even think about it until she turns two.

I was 'proactive' with my first dd. Probably at about 18 months I got her a potty and I started showing her what to do with it. Well it was hardly worth the effort. I wasted a lot of time when she simply wasn't ready. 2 years later she still has accidents, still wearing pull ups to bed at night.

IMO it cant hurt to simply have the potty lying around the house for her to look at and play with but dont worry about giving her lessons at this point. Just let her get comfortable with it and then follow her cues which probably wont be for awhile.
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#6 of 16 Old 08-22-2003, 01:18 AM
 
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Here's some advice about what I learned after potty training my first three kids. The first two I pushed too early for sure. Wasted a lot of time there. The third one I kind of did whatever but in the back of my mind wanted it done. My fourth one I was like "she can wear diapers FOREVER" I never showed her panties, never took her to the potty, nothing. One day she got up and said "Max (her friend) wheres underwear" I said "yes, he does". Then she said "Rachel wears underwear" I said "yes". She said "Katie (that's her) wears underwear now too" and that was that. Maybe two accidents after that. It was SO easy! I wish I would have just done that with the first three kids. I think potty training is such a huge step and we're (the parents) are always anxious for these steps. That doesn't make us bad it just makes us human! Anyway, here's hoping others can avoid my mistakes! I could've spent that time reading and cuddling with my kids! Good luck!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#7 of 16 Old 08-22-2003, 09:19 AM
 
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I also did not try to potty train, I just let DD show me when she was ready. I did not want to have the stress. Three weeks ago, she decided she wanted to go to a little arts and crafts daycamp program that is held in the mornings. I told her she was more than welcome to go, but she had to use the potty (camp requirement). She said, "okay" and that was that.

She turned 3 in March and potty trained in one day.
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#8 of 16 Old 08-22-2003, 10:16 AM
 
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Ds is potty learning right now--but I would NOT say we are training him. When he turned 18 months, I bought him a potty. Frankly, his little butt was too little for it then anyway, so I could not expect him to like it. But, we put it in the bathroom, and I let him hang out with me or follow me in whenever I go. This did not lead to much use of the potty chair, except on mornings when my mother would come over, rip him from our bed, pull off his dipe and place him on the pot--when of course he would pee, I think half out of fear.

Fast forward 6-7 months. It's summer. Ds is almost always bottomless, if not topless too, and with nothing on, he is a master of the potty. I put trainers on him, and forget it--they are too hard for us to get down on time. Velcro AIOs he can handle, but if he is busy, forget it. He spends a couple days a week at my sister's, where there are older kids using the potty. Unfortunately, this has led to his wanting to pee standing up. I figure, once it colls down again, we'll be using a lot more dipes again, and when new baby comes in winter, we'll probably regress. I don't expect him to have it down until NEXT summer--when he'll be 3. He may surprise me, and that would be fine, but I am not expecting it.

Most people no longer use a lot of "tactics" with potty learning. However, ECers have a lot of success with even the smallest of babies. Of course, they have accidents too. I think part of the problem is that we get this idea of having a perfectly trained little one who uses the bathroom every time by a certain age, and then we feel like we have failed.

Oatmeal, you're not going to stunt your baby. I am sure she is just great, and as she grows more verbal (this is one thing the books tell you a child should have is effective communication) you'll see her move toward the potty. But, at the same time, no harm in going out and getting her one.
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#9 of 16 Old 08-22-2003, 10:49 AM
 
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It is very personal to your child and to you about when and why to start training. I have heard so many different stories and times, I really do believe it is impossible to generalize!

There's no reason not to start earlier, but I think it doesn't necessarily mean you'll *finish* any sooner.

Our 2 were done at 2.5yo and 20mo.

We had a great book with photos of actual kids on potties, they were totally fascinated with it.

We had a potty around, one in the bathroom and one out in "public space".

We let them go bare-butt or CD. I think the CD helped a lot.

We let them watch us, and talked it up.

They never were interested in underwear - I've heard a lot of kids like them, but not ours.

They decided they wanted to and we helped them the best we could.

We kept our expectations private and yet tried to realize what a big thing it is for a child to achieve.

Good luck and keep cool!!

PS Y'know, diapers are so easy compared to finding potties out in the world at a moment's notice!
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#10 of 16 Old 08-22-2003, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
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We let them go bare-butt or CD. I think the CD helped a lot


what does Cd mean?
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#11 of 16 Old 08-22-2003, 01:28 PM
 
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CD = Cloth Diapered

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#12 of 16 Old 08-22-2003, 03:57 PM
 
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I tried to "train" my first dd starting at about 18 months, since her friends (who were a few months older) were starting at that time. She pooped in her potty and completely freaked out-screaming, crying. She was really scared. I waited a couple of months and tried to "make" her potty again. She wanted absolutely no part of it. Finally I got it through my thick skull that she wasn't ready and the "training" was becoming nothing more than a battle of wills and she was winning. I just decided to let it go and let her make the decisions. She asked for panties, then prompty peed in them. She just wasn't ready. Finally right around her 3rd birthday, she just decided it was time. She made the choice and only had one small (just wet her panties, not even her pants) accident. She also stopped wearing a diaper at nap-time/night within a couple of weeks. She had two night-time accidents at the beginning. I really believe letting it be a "non-issue" and letting her make the choices made it infinetely better in the end.
My dd #2 is now 18 months and sees the potty and talks about it, but has no desire to pee or poop on it, although she does (strictly by HER choice) like to sit on it w/o a diaper. I think she mainly does it to copy her sister. She will definetly lead the way in her pottying.
Good Luck to both of you!

Paige, mama to three girls, (10), (8) and (3)
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#13 of 16 Old 08-23-2003, 12:16 PM
 
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the worst thing you can do is push them they will let you know when they are ready.

Mom to  Rachel 15 Kimberly 12 Chloe 10 and Nathaniel 8
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#14 of 16 Old 08-23-2003, 03:59 PM
 
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My son was mostly toilet trained by 2 yo, and he wasn't verbal enough to discuss it until long after that. I don't see anything wrong with introducing the potty and letting a child run around bare-bottomed, just so long as you don't expect miracles, are prepared to clean up some messes, and have a long range attitude about it.

My inspiration is a momma who raised 5 kids in Thailand and they were all potty trained by 18 months! And this is the gentlest woman I know BTW. Like her I just kept the potty in whatever room of the house we are in so that the child never has to go far. We also have hardwood floors so accidents are not a carpet crisis.

For me, cleaning up a few messes a day (even if that lasts for months) is FAR better than changing diapers full-time.
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#15 of 16 Old 08-26-2003, 04:38 PM
 
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I also have a 19 month old and have done some minimal potty learning. My ds wakes up dry 95% of the time and has for months. He has just started being interested in sitting for a couple minutes. We get up and he sits on his little potty and we read books. Sometimes he pees and sometimes we read together for several minutes and we are both ready to stop. He also makes the pst sound when he sees a bathroom or outhouse. I try not to give too much verbal praise (even if I am all excited). I do let him dump the pee in the toliet and flush (a very big thrill for him). I seriously doubt that he will learn any faster, and only do this once maybe twice a day, but we get some good book time out of the deal.
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#16 of 16 Old 08-28-2003, 01:12 AM
 
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We're working on potty learning too. We got a potty when she was 15 mo old and let her get used to "her potty". We also got a books about going potty, which she loves (once upon a potty) . We'd just sit in the bathroom and read books and hang out so she was comfortable. Now we're at running around naked all day and most of the time she'll ask to go - sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't, no pressure from mom and dad. We still read and now we also blow bubbles - something she suggested (we had bubbles for bathtime play) so its fun for her. I really think the bubbles are what sparked her big interest in going potty though...
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