Preventing Power Struggles with Potty Training - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 01-17-2008, 04:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am searching for information on potty training resisitent children. I keep finding information on the internet about star and sticker charts - yuck! or ways that don't seem very gentle to me. This isn't for my child, so I don't have any answers to questions that you might have. I was hoping I would find a sticky on this subject, but haven't. Any ideas?

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#2 of 11 Old 01-17-2008, 04:54 PM
 
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this is a hot topice right now -- the over all answer seems to be "have Grandma come do it"

But there ARE a lot of threads going about it right now.

Is your DC resisting? or are you just worried they will resist?

Have you started anythign yet?

Aimee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#3 of 11 Old 01-17-2008, 05:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Like I said, this isn't for my child. So far, so good with my ds. He is 25 months old and doing great on the potty. This is for a friend who has a resistent 2 1/2 year old. He says no to her when she asks if he has to go potty and she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to grab him and sit him kicking and screaming on the potty, she tried songs and finger plays and books in the bathroom with no luck. She doesn't want to resort to sticker charts, she wants him to be proud that he has gone. She isn't a member here but I told her that I would try to find some resources for her. She doesn't know when to get worried, he is only 2 1/2 so it is not like he is "a late bloomer".

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#4 of 11 Old 01-17-2008, 05:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lmkirche View Post
Like I said, this isn't for my child. So far, so good with my ds. He is 25 months old and doing great on the potty. This is for a friend who has a resistent 2 1/2 year old. He says no to her when she asks if he has to go potty and she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to grab him and sit him kicking and screaming on the potty, she tried songs and finger plays and books in the bathroom with no luck. She doesn't want to resort to sticker charts, she wants him to be proud that he has gone. She isn't a member here but I told her that I would try to find some resources for her. She doesn't know when to get worried, he is only 2 1/2 so it is not like he is "a late bloomer".

My Ds turns 3 next month and we are just starting this week. Up until now he's had very little interest. I would say if your friend's child is only 2 1/2 and is very resistant she should just let it go for awhile. He'll be more receptive to trying once he's more ready - my DS still has moments where he tells us "I don't feel like sitting on my potty" so we wait till he feels like it. We just started using training pants too, so he is finally starting to put two and two together....
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#5 of 11 Old 01-17-2008, 06:58 PM
 
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Sounds like your friend needs to lay off. And I mean that in the gentlest way possible! You're right that 2.5 for potty training doesn't make a "late bloomer." Have you explained that to her?

Mom to dd (8), ds (6), and dd (1)

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#6 of 11 Old 01-17-2008, 07:58 PM
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Why oh why do people call this time period the "Terrible Two's," yet expect to be able to potty train wiith ease during it??? It's just my opinion-- but train before age two or after it. As far as I can see, training at 2, and even 3 is going to be difficult because the child is going through a resistant period where he's trying to assert himself and define himself as separate from the parents. Unless this mom wants to get punitive, I suggest she just wait.

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#7 of 11 Old 01-17-2008, 11:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I agree. If my ds says no to the potty, I just say o.k.

I think my friend is kinda a perfectionist. I have told her to keep going with it but not making a big deal when he doesn't want to go. Or to get creative and make it fun - like crawling to the potty, or putting the stuffed bear on the potty, or saying "look! mama is going to the potty too!" Or modeling for him, "oh! mama's got to go potty. Look I am pulling down my pants. . . "

Yada. . .yada. . .yada. . .

She still doesn't get it.

Thanks all.

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#8 of 11 Old 01-18-2008, 06:43 PM
 
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Right now I'm reading the No Cry Potty Training Solution and she suggests you don't ask the child "do you need to go potty" and instead just say "it's time to go potty" and then make it fun getting there, like doing a potty train or playing wild animals or something such as that.
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#9 of 11 Old 01-18-2008, 06:49 PM
 
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ITA with above posters. My son is almost three and was doing very well last summer...in fact I thought that we were on our way to being trained. Then, he regressed and was adamant that he didn't want to try. It has just been within the last month that he has shown interest again. I tried not to push it, just mentioned it once and a while. Now, he is very excited about it and is very proud of himself. His grandma insisted on making a small sticker chart for the bathroom wall (and I was against it, but decided that it was worth a try) and it has helped. He enjoys putting the star on after he goes for some reason But, yeah, at 2.5 not to worry. It would do more harm than good to push the issue.
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#10 of 11 Old 01-18-2008, 06:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Xoe View Post
Why oh why do people call this time period the "Terrible Two's," yet expect to be able to potty train wiith ease during it??? It's just my opinion-- but train before age two or after it.
ITA, took away DS's daytime diapers at 17 mos for this reason. Blessed little one year old tots just wanna make everyone happy. You tell them no more diapers, well they may get distracted but I'm 2 for 2 finding that potty training involved no struggles whatsoever, as long as you're cool bare bottoming for a while.
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#11 of 11 Old 01-18-2008, 07:00 PM
 
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the best solution I have found is naked babies.... lol I know this isn't for everyone but seeing it as it happens i think goes a long way towards helping them understand when they need to go.

Mom to DD born 1989 DS born 1993 and grandma to
DGS born 2005
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