DS attends a "preschool" class one day a week for 90 minutes. It's really more like a play group where the mom's don't stay. They do a craft, have circle time, sign songs, but mostly they just play.
It occured to me yesterday that the teacher never has anything positive to say about my son.
When it is time to pick up the children, the mom's gather in the hall outside the classroom, and the teacher comes out to give a rundown of the morning to all of us at once.
Sometimes during this time, she shares stories about one of the children, if they did something especially cute. Twice she has used this time (in front of the group) to tell me that DS "made her a present". In other words, had a BM. Maybe none of the other kids has ever pooped at school (which I find hard to believe, they are all 2 or early 3 yo's), but she's never mentioned anyone else's bowel habits to the group.
Last week, she told everyone about how, during the craft activity (which involved choosing either a penguin OR a polar bear to color) DS wanted BOTH, and when she told him "no", he proceeded to sneak over and get the additional one when her back was turned. When he tried to get a third, she again told him "no", he got mad and sat in a corner (typical behavior for him when he's mad. He does this at home, too.). After a couple minutes he got up, said he was sorry (also typical of him) and rejoined the activity.
Yesterday, the only thing she said to me was "he didn't want his nose wiped", but the way she said it, you'd think he was doing something evil. I mean, he's 3. How many 3 year olds want to stop playing to get their noses wiped? Just wipe it!
It wasn't until I was driving home that it really occured to me that she never says anything nice about DS. I used to teach, and when I was teaching I always found at least one positive thing to say about each child to their parent. Especially if I also had something not as positive that I had to bring up. And I tried not to talk about the "bad" stuff in front of other parents unless it directly involved them. I'd ask the mom or dad if they could stay for a moment to talk privately.
I know that, right now, he is being a very typical 3 year old. He wants to do everything himself, and he wants to do it all "his way".
Also, my husband deployed in November, and DS is going through a very trying time. Sometimes he's really mad, and he acts out his anger by being really stubborn and throwing tantrums.
I'm not saying that he deserves special treatment, but I get the feeling that she (his teacher) is not being respectful of the huge change that has recently taken place in his life. This is the first time since DS was born that DH has been deployed.
How should I approach his teacher? DH thinks I should wait a couple weeks and pay close attention to the things she says to other parents. He wonders if she's like this to everyone, and I admit that I don't really listen as she's talking to the other moms (while we are in the classroom getting coats on and collecting bookbags, etc.). Maybe she never says anything positive about any of the kids.
I'm inclined to wait after class next week and approach it in more of a "how is DS doing since his dad has been gone" sort of way, and give her the opportunity to tell me what the problem(s) might be.