Toddler Discipline Help Please! - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-10-2003, 12:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, I have a son who just turned 2, and a newborn daughter. All summer, my son has been giving me a hard time and I don't know what to do. If I turn my back for a second, he's starts climbing on things that is just not acceptable (dining room tables, etc), and I can't seem to get him to stop doing it. This started before the birth of my daughter, but it's even worse now. I try taking him off and telling him that it's not okay (I really hate telling him NO alot, so I reserve it for the 'you're going to hurt yourself' type situations). But he just keeps at it. He's fallen off before, when I haven't gotten there in time, etc, and I don't want him to get hurt. He just doesn't listen to me, and sometimes I get really frustrated and yell, which I hate doing, and I know doesn't help the situation at all. How can I get him to stop climbing on dangerous things?

Momma to K ('01), E ('03) and A ('07)
Acting as a Gestational Surrogate for my cousin, EDD Jan 17th
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Old 09-10-2003, 12:26 PM
 
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Does he have things inside he can climb on- the couch or a slide or something?

Instead of talking about the table just put him down or say the couch is for climbing. Don't talk so much, they don't listen after a while and repeating yourself can be so frustrating. What if you move the chairs away?

Is the reason you don't want him up there is because he gets hurt or because you just don't want him on the table? Can you make it safer? We often climb and jump off our table- it is fun, so instead of racing up there when I am not around they will ask to go climb and we can make sure things are moved out of the landing area. And although with #2 it is a little different because he thinks he can do what ever #1 does (my boys are 19 months apart almost 2 1/2 and 4), I trust them to only climb as high as they are comfortable. So far our stiches have only been from running not from climbing- and they climb high!
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Old 09-10-2003, 12:45 PM
 
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This is really tough. I know how you feel. You don't want to be constantly saying no but you feel like you have to because they don't listen. I second the moving the chairs away. Anything your child can climb onto or yank on to pull himself up such as the table cloth, chairs, etc. Definitely give him something appropriate. How about catching him in the act and saying, "i'm sorry sweetie. that is not appropriate. you could get very hurt climbing there. a better thing to climb would be the sofa/your bed/this slide." Or maybe asking him if he needs to climb something and when he says yes, tell him that you will take him outside to climb because furniture should not be climbed. My daughter has known since she was VERY little that we do not jump on furniture, nor do we climb on it(we live with my parents so I have to be anal about it, otherwise I wouldnt' give a hoot) but at 3 years old, she does need to be reminded often. I simply say, "madyson, you kow that is not appropriate behavior, please find something else to climb on." And she does!!!! WOAH! Maybe distraction each and every time will work for your son. Maybe if you make it a game. "Let's see if you can crawl UNDER the table. Or how about if we make a fort out of this table and some sheets. Can you help me do that?" Adding a little humor may help also. Try saying in a silly voice, "you know we don't climb on tables you silly boy, hop down!!!!" Or walking up and tickling him and quickly bringing him down. Kids are very smart, they DO get it after a while and it's easier not to say "no" all the time and get the tantrums. Best of luck to you!
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Old 09-10-2003, 01:10 PM
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My gut says he's doing it to get you mad, if you don't get mad - ever - just calmly and quietly take him off the table every time, he won't be getting what he wants (to get you mad) and it will lose it's appeal. You have to keep completely calm, no seething, just release the anger. I know this sounds nasty but I concentrate on the thought that I am denying him what he wants and that helps me channel my anger into getting back at him by being calm (if that makes any sense). Then I feel good about myself for containing my anger and I am less likely to get angry next time.

I'm reading this and it sounds like I'm a terribly mean mother but I really do love my son and he is usually quite wonderful. But every once in a while I get stressed so he starts pushing my buttons and we head into this vicious circle. Sounds to me like you are in oine of those circles, too.

I like the idea of making a fort under the table, too!
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Old 09-11-2003, 12:16 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Liz


I'm reading this and it sounds like I'm a terribly mean mother but I really do love my son
He he he he he. Not at all. It sounds like you are a mom whose been through this before and can offer some valuable advice!

Meg

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