3 yr old son wont stop touching his penis - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 13 Old 03-03-2008, 11:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I dont want him to think that its bad or wrong, so I only recently started trying to "control" it by telling him that he could play with his penis if he wanted to, but he needed to go to his room and shut the door, that it is rude to play with himself in front of people. The problem arises that he is constantly grabbing himself and walking around holding onto his penis. I really really do not want him thinking that his penis is "dirty" or that it is wrong to touch it, but just not in public. any ideas on how I can accomplish this?
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#2 of 13 Old 03-03-2008, 11:57 PM
 
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Ah, three years old. Might be time to really introduce public vs. private. When he starts touching himself you could always say something like, "Oh I see you want to touch your penis, you need some privacy." then with a big smile take him to his room.

Of course that won't work in public initally but it's a start.

At 3 1/2 my DS had a habit of coming out of the bathroom with his pants still around his knees (pulling them up as he walked). I calmly explained that he needed to pull his pants up before he left the bathroom (mainly because he was about to start school), when he asked why I said, "Because darling, not everyone wants to see your penis." (My sister who was visiting cracked up at that one). His love and pride of his body remains intact but he never did it again. Try being honest and straight forward in a loving way.

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#3 of 13 Old 03-04-2008, 12:54 AM
 
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Don't have an answer, but wanted to write to commiserate. My almost 2 yo loves to keep his hands down his pants and diaper. I've been trying to tell him there are certain things he can do at home and not outside of our home. Yeah, whatever! He doesn't indicate that he gets it or the very least it doesn't make much of a difference! The teachers aide at preschool the other day asked, "Does he have an itch or something?"

So, we've adapted...At night, he wears one piece pjs (he was exploring at night and causing leaks in his diapers). If we are going out, I put him in overalls. He might still get his hands in there, but it is a little less noticeable to the rest of the world!

I'm just hoping this phase will be over soon! I'll wish the same for you.
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#4 of 13 Old 03-04-2008, 09:43 AM
 
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I don't have any advice since I have all girls, but hey, he probably will still be doing it at 30, but at least by then he will do it in private

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#5 of 13 Old 03-04-2008, 10:22 AM
 
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I have a 3yo dd who is also obsessed! She likes checking herself out and we've explained the private vs non-private and keeping certain body parts clean and that went over okay. We were at a friends house a few weeks ago and her almost 5yo ds showed my 3 and 5 yo his penis. (He, too, is presently obsessed with showing it off!)

About a week after that I gave birth to a baby BOY! Now 3yo dd is not only interested by her private parts but wants to look at and touch baby brothers at every diaper change! I can hear her discussing that she thinks baby's penis is cute with her sister and how all the dolls now have penises or "beginas".

We have our very own living anitomically correct doll in the house. And he pees on you, too!

Good luck terese17. I think its normal and if you word things correctly, .like it sounds like you have, it should just be a phase.
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#6 of 13 Old 03-04-2008, 04:17 PM
 
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My 4 yr old DD is also obsessed... and has been since around 3 yrs old. She has finally, after about 9 months of us constantly telling her, getting the point that touching yourself is something you do in private in your room or in the bathroom with the door closed.

Its all kids at some point or another... and now we're working with making sure she and her brother (2 yr old) understand that you don't touch other people's private areas... private means only for you or the doctor and sometimes mommy or daddy if you're having problems that need to be looked at. Getting there... but as with everything else it just takes time!

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#7 of 13 Old 03-04-2008, 04:24 PM
 
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If you can figure out how to get your son to stop, please let me know...maybe it'll work for my husband.

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#8 of 13 Old 03-05-2008, 04:45 AM
 
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Is it just me, or is the reason we do not touch ourselves there primarily a hygiene issue? Couldn't you explain this to him, and ask him to wash his hands after he touches his penis? Like, "The penis has an opening and sometimes different juices come out, and it's not good to have those in our mouth because they can carry sickness. But if they don't go in the mouth it's okay. So when you touch your penis or your bottom, you need to wash your hands before you touch anything else."

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If you can figure out how to get your son to stop, please let me know...maybe it'll work for my husband.
:

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#9 of 13 Old 03-05-2008, 11:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by feminine_earth View Post
If you can figure out how to get your son to stop, please let me know...maybe it'll work for my husband.
laughup:
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#10 of 13 Old 03-06-2008, 05:18 AM
 
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if you see him start to reach in his diaper, remind him he needs to run into the bathroom to wash his hands first, then he can go in his bedrooom and touch his penis all he wants! That way, he doesn't risk getting dirt/bacteria/food/etc in his diaper/on his penis (all it takes is one nick from a dirty nail to cause infection), and he can learn that he can stay in the bathroom (or go to his bedroom) to do what he needs to do. He needs to wash his hands when he returns to, that way he isn't sharing any of the bodily fluids that come out of his penis (bacteria from urine/etc). This way, it's not shameful, but he is being healthy, and not sharing germs, just like you would ask of any other bodily fluid!
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#11 of 13 Old 03-06-2008, 05:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breeder View Post
Ah, three years old. Might be time to really introduce public vs. private. When he starts touching himself you could always say something like, "Oh I see you want to touch your penis, you need some privacy." then with a big smile take him to his room.

Of course that won't work in public initally but it's a start.

At 3 1/2 my DS had a habit of coming out of the bathroom with his pants still around his knees (pulling them up as he walked). I calmly explained that he needed to pull his pants up before he left the bathroom (mainly because he was about to start school), when he asked why I said, "Because darling, not everyone wants to see your penis." (My sister who was visiting cracked up at that one). His love and pride of his body remains intact but he never did it again. Try being honest and straight forward in a loving way.
ITA! Good post
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#12 of 13 Old 03-06-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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the other night DH was attempting to put a diaper and pjs on our 2 1/2 yr old boy and he kept shouting "I WANT TO TOUCH MY PENIS" over and over

I had just given the boys a bath, where they had free access (which we don't do every night), so I guess he wasn't "done"

It was so funny to us, but we were like "what do we do here?"
He finally told ds he would wait for a minute then it was time to put on diaper and pjs. DS seemed ok with this as well.

So far my boys don't go digging down their diapers, but when they have access that's where their hands are.

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#13 of 13 Old 03-07-2008, 09:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by feminine_earth View Post
If you can figure out how to get your son to stop, please let me know...maybe it'll work for my husband.






When my DS was about 4, we found him naked sitting on the couch having himself a grand old time. I told him if he wanted to do that he would need to go to his room or the bathroom.

Dh asked if he could go to his room!

Doing what I can to make better choices every day!
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