Birthday invite with "please no plastic" included...wdyt? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 110 Old 04-15-2008, 02:32 PM
 
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we have a very busy toddler and we like to get out and do things. I always suggest gift certificates to....rumble tumble, the childrens museum etc...
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#92 of 110 Old 04-15-2008, 11:51 PM
 
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I'd hate to think that community social building only happens at birthday parties- wow.

Communities are built through daily interactions, not a one time a year birthday.
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#93 of 110 Old 04-15-2008, 11:53 PM
 
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True but that was in response to the person who said just don't have a party.
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#94 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 03:39 AM
 
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To me the themed party is the only acceptable way to steer gift giving, anything else will come across as rude. I struggled a lot with this issue for dd's birthday and Christmas so I understand how you feel. Even with obvious preferences stated in one-on-one conversations people got dd what they wanted to give. I say just expect to donate what does not suit your family, it will make some other kid super happy when their dp finds the latest gizmo at the thrift store
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#95 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 04:06 AM
 
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This whole gifting business has become so fraught these days! People getting miffed at what they receive and people not putting enough thought behind what they gift. Personally, I think it is in poor taste to dictate terms for gifts. With close family and friends I may feel free enough to suggest ideas but otherwise, no. I don't know what they are comfortable spending, if they already have a gift to recycle , etc, etc.

Activism has a place, certainly. But a birthday is not the time for it. People who know your views on these things but still choose to gift inappropriately...., what can you say. It's the thought that counts and they clearly could have done some more thinking!
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#96 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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What about me? I have MCS an so certain things (including children's items) CANNOT be brought into our home. How would I phrase THAT on an invitation? For me this can be an issue of life or death.
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#97 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 06:14 PM
 
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Earthmama, you'll just have to get over it, ya know, for the sake of social community building
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#98 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 07:25 PM
 
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i totally know where your coming from with this. for christmas i gave my nephnew a fairtrade bongo drum ... you know what my sis got my lo for his birthday in feb? a revolving plastic light - up drum... i though "NOOO" but how do you tell your sister you dont like the present she got? i cant let it dissapear soon cos shel notice.
so saying something in the invitation about what kind of toys youd like would maybe be a good idea imo.
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#99 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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I don't know why but my please no plastic mantra has caused the most uproar with family and friends... I don't know why it's so confusing to people... i've started suggesting toys or company's that i know make natural toys.

I put please no plastic toys here is a list of suggestions if you would like to bring a gift and then send them to the threesisters website or something...

ps if i do get plastic junk toys i either return them to the store for credit if i can OR i take them down to the womens shelter or salvation army.

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#100 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 07:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EarthMamaToBe View Post
What about me? I have MCS an so certain things (including children's items) CANNOT be brought into our home. How would I phrase THAT on an invitation? For me this can be an issue of life or death.

I don't know what MCS is, but this is obviously a completely different circumstance.
It sounds hard
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#101 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 07:55 PM
 
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****
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#102 of 110 Old 04-16-2008, 11:47 PM
 
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We did the same thing for DD's 1st birthday - we said DD did not need anything, but if people wanted they were welcome to bring their favourite children's book (and they all did). No plastic.
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#103 of 110 Old 04-17-2008, 01:27 AM
 
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I think it is an awesome idea. I think one day it won't be so weird/ new/ unusual a request as it is now.
I can tell some family members and friends this line and have them respect it; not others. Will the ones who don't mind if you give the plastic away should they bring it?

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#104 of 110 Old 04-17-2008, 02:19 AM
 
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Earthmama, you'll just have to get over it, ya know, for the sake of social community building
I don't know exactly how to take your post...But MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) is not something I can just "get over"

I was just trying to point out that while special requests might seem "rude" on the surface they are often good reasons for them. Around here no one would bat an eyelash at the OP's invitation anyway.

I do think it may depend on where you live how people would react to such an invitation. I just try not to judge and just remember that there is usually a good reason when someone makes a request that seems odd to me. Especially a request that seems "rude" , since most people do not set out to offend others.

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#105 of 110 Old 04-17-2008, 01:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EarthMamaToBe View Post
I was just trying to point out that while special requests might seem "rude" on the surface they are often good reasons for them. Around here no one would bat an eyelash at the OP's invitation anyway.

I do think it may depend on where you live how people would react to such an invitation. I just try not to judge and just remember that there is usually a good reason when someone makes a request that seems odd to me. Especially a request that seems "rude" , since most people do not set out to offend others.

I understand what you are saying, and for the record I really don't judge others for it either. It is just something I would not feel comfortable doing.
For instance, I had no problem with the invite that requested a donation be made to a birth center in lieu of a gift for the child. However, I did bristle at the request, by the same people, for money for both their wedding gift and a baby shower gift.

Personally, I feel I'd like to keep the focus on the celebration and not worry about the gifts. I'd prefer to write "no gifts please" if I am worried, instead of dictating the kind of gift to bring. Around here, it is not uncommon to have a giftless birthday celebration. I realize this isn't the norm everywhere.
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#106 of 110 Old 04-17-2008, 01:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
Earthmama, you'll just have to get over it, ya know, for the sake of social community building
Actually, a birthday party offers a great opportunity to invite the Moms at the playground that you've been wanting to get to know better, or the coworker you'd like to see outside of work. Provided, of course, that you are not demanding a specific gift from them

By the way, I am serial posting because I have no clue how to do multiple quotes.
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#107 of 110 Old 04-17-2008, 01:14 PM
 
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I agree with Renee. I have family that are the perfect examples of buying cheap plastic stuff, but ya know what? The kids play with them for about a week or so, and then I give them to Goodwill when they've been pushed aside.
I do that, too.

I've pretty much resigned trying to sway grandparents, etc to buy certain things. Hey, it's their life and it's their time and money, I guess. So, they can do what they wish.

If it's something that I don't think is good for my child, or doesn't suit our choices or household, maybe some other family can find use for it at Goodwill.

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#108 of 110 Old 04-17-2008, 01:51 PM
 
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Rude is sort of a loaded word, but I agree that dictating what people should bring as a gift is poor form, as one other poster said.

I liked the idea of leaving it out of the invitation altogether, then sending a quick e-mail a few days later. But, even there, you don't have to mention plastic or no plastic. Just say, "Sally Ann is into dress-up, books about puppies and any music she can dance to," or something like that.

I have similarly vexing extended family and I've found it's often best to just let others give what they want. If I don't like it, it goes in the trash, so if they want to see their gift when they come over, they'll start buying what I like. Call it a quieter way of being the black sheep.
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#109 of 110 Old 04-17-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EarthMamaToBe View Post
I don't know exactly how to take your post...But MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) is not something I can just "get over"

I was just trying to point out that while special requests might seem "rude" on the surface they are often good reasons for them. Around here no one would bat an eyelash at the OP's invitation anyway.

I do think it may depend on where you live how people would react to such an invitation. I just try not to judge and just remember that there is usually a good reason when someone makes a request that seems odd to me. Especially a request that seems "rude" , since most people do not set out to offend others.


mama, didn't ya see me wink? I do believe your condition is serious and I think the " rule" about not suggesting appropriate gifts is just silly.

And speaking of appropriate gifts. What if someone gifted your child a toy gun> Around here this would be a typical gift for a young boy. And trust me, if I had a son I would no problems gifting the toy right back.
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#110 of 110 Old 04-17-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
mama, didn't ya see me wink? I do believe your condition is serious and I think the " rule" about not suggesting appropriate gifts is just silly.

And speaking of appropriate gifts. What if someone gifted your child a toy gun> Around here this would be a typical gift for a young boy. And trust me, if I had a son I would no problems gifting the toy right back.
LOL my Mom would not let us have toy guns and she DID give them right back. Believe me she caused a stink doing that in the 70's in a small Southern town and a family of hunters. I'll never forget the looks she got!
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