Birthday invite with "please no plastic" included...wdyt? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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Life with a Toddler > Birthday invite with "please no plastic" included...wdyt?
Telle Bear's Avatar Telle Bear 03:32 PM 04-15-2008
we have a very busy toddler and we like to get out and do things. I always suggest gift certificates to....rumble tumble, the childrens museum etc...

Potty Diva's Avatar Potty Diva 12:51 AM 04-16-2008
I'd hate to think that community social building only happens at birthday parties- wow.

Communities are built through daily interactions, not a one time a year birthday.
Masel's Avatar Masel 12:53 AM 04-16-2008
True but that was in response to the person who said just don't have a party.
ErinBird's Avatar ErinBird 04:39 AM 04-16-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by joy2grow View Post
To me the themed party is the only acceptable way to steer gift giving, anything else will come across as rude. I struggled a lot with this issue for dd's birthday and Christmas so I understand how you feel. Even with obvious preferences stated in one-on-one conversations people got dd what they wanted to give. I say just expect to donate what does not suit your family, it will make some other kid super happy when their dp finds the latest gizmo at the thrift store
IAWTC 100%
seawind's Avatar seawind 05:06 AM 04-16-2008
This whole gifting business has become so fraught these days! People getting miffed at what they receive and people not putting enough thought behind what they gift. Personally, I think it is in poor taste to dictate terms for gifts. With close family and friends I may feel free enough to suggest ideas but otherwise, no. I don't know what they are comfortable spending, if they already have a gift to recycle , etc, etc.

Activism has a place, certainly. But a birthday is not the time for it. People who know your views on these things but still choose to gift inappropriately...., what can you say. It's the thought that counts and they clearly could have done some more thinking!
EarthMamaToBe's Avatar EarthMamaToBe 06:52 PM 04-16-2008
What about me? I have MCS an so certain things (including children's items) CANNOT be brought into our home. How would I phrase THAT on an invitation? For me this can be an issue of life or death.
Potty Diva's Avatar Potty Diva 07:14 PM 04-16-2008
Earthmama, you'll just have to get over it, ya know, for the sake of social community building
petra_william's Avatar petra_william 08:25 PM 04-16-2008
i totally know where your coming from with this. for christmas i gave my nephnew a fairtrade bongo drum ... you know what my sis got my lo for his birthday in feb? a revolving plastic light - up drum... i though "NOOO" but how do you tell your sister you dont like the present she got? i cant let it dissapear soon cos shel notice.
so saying something in the invitation about what kind of toys youd like would maybe be a good idea imo.
onyxravnos's Avatar onyxravnos 08:29 PM 04-16-2008
I don't know why but my please no plastic mantra has caused the most uproar with family and friends... I don't know why it's so confusing to people... i've started suggesting toys or company's that i know make natural toys.

I put please no plastic toys here is a list of suggestions if you would like to bring a gift and then send them to the threesisters website or something...

ps if i do get plastic junk toys i either return them to the store for credit if i can OR i take them down to the womens shelter or salvation army.
Hoopin' Mama 08:54 PM 04-16-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthMamaToBe View Post
What about me? I have MCS an so certain things (including children's items) CANNOT be brought into our home. How would I phrase THAT on an invitation? For me this can be an issue of life or death.

I don't know what MCS is, but this is obviously a completely different circumstance.
It sounds hard
Hoopin' Mama 08:55 PM 04-16-2008
****
twogreencars's Avatar twogreencars 12:47 AM 04-17-2008
We did the same thing for DD's 1st birthday - we said DD did not need anything, but if people wanted they were welcome to bring their favourite children's book (and they all did). No plastic.
mirandahope's Avatar mirandahope 02:27 AM 04-17-2008
I think it is an awesome idea. I think one day it won't be so weird/ new/ unusual a request as it is now.
I can tell some family members and friends this line and have them respect it; not others. Will the ones who don't mind if you give the plastic away should they bring it?
EarthMamaToBe's Avatar EarthMamaToBe 03:19 AM 04-17-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
Earthmama, you'll just have to get over it, ya know, for the sake of social community building
I don't know exactly how to take your post...But MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) is not something I can just "get over"

I was just trying to point out that while special requests might seem "rude" on the surface they are often good reasons for them. Around here no one would bat an eyelash at the OP's invitation anyway.

I do think it may depend on where you live how people would react to such an invitation. I just try not to judge and just remember that there is usually a good reason when someone makes a request that seems odd to me. Especially a request that seems "rude" , since most people do not set out to offend others.


Hoopin' Mama 02:07 PM 04-17-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthMamaToBe View Post
I was just trying to point out that while special requests might seem "rude" on the surface they are often good reasons for them. Around here no one would bat an eyelash at the OP's invitation anyway.

I do think it may depend on where you live how people would react to such an invitation. I just try not to judge and just remember that there is usually a good reason when someone makes a request that seems odd to me. Especially a request that seems "rude" , since most people do not set out to offend others.

I understand what you are saying, and for the record I really don't judge others for it either. It is just something I would not feel comfortable doing.
For instance, I had no problem with the invite that requested a donation be made to a birth center in lieu of a gift for the child. However, I did bristle at the request, by the same people, for money for both their wedding gift and a baby shower gift.

Personally, I feel I'd like to keep the focus on the celebration and not worry about the gifts. I'd prefer to write "no gifts please" if I am worried, instead of dictating the kind of gift to bring. Around here, it is not uncommon to have a giftless birthday celebration. I realize this isn't the norm everywhere.
Hoopin' Mama 02:10 PM 04-17-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
Earthmama, you'll just have to get over it, ya know, for the sake of social community building
Actually, a birthday party offers a great opportunity to invite the Moms at the playground that you've been wanting to get to know better, or the coworker you'd like to see outside of work. Provided, of course, that you are not demanding a specific gift from them

By the way, I am serial posting because I have no clue how to do multiple quotes.
That Is Nice's Avatar That Is Nice 02:14 PM 04-17-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydnee View Post
I agree with Renee. I have family that are the perfect examples of buying cheap plastic stuff, but ya know what? The kids play with them for about a week or so, and then I give them to Goodwill when they've been pushed aside.
I do that, too.

I've pretty much resigned trying to sway grandparents, etc to buy certain things. Hey, it's their life and it's their time and money, I guess. So, they can do what they wish.

If it's something that I don't think is good for my child, or doesn't suit our choices or household, maybe some other family can find use for it at Goodwill.


1972momma's Avatar 1972momma 02:51 PM 04-17-2008
Rude is sort of a loaded word, but I agree that dictating what people should bring as a gift is poor form, as one other poster said.

I liked the idea of leaving it out of the invitation altogether, then sending a quick e-mail a few days later. But, even there, you don't have to mention plastic or no plastic. Just say, "Sally Ann is into dress-up, books about puppies and any music she can dance to," or something like that.

I have similarly vexing extended family and I've found it's often best to just let others give what they want. If I don't like it, it goes in the trash, so if they want to see their gift when they come over, they'll start buying what I like. Call it a quieter way of being the black sheep.
Potty Diva's Avatar Potty Diva 03:06 PM 04-17-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthMamaToBe View Post
I don't know exactly how to take your post...But MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) is not something I can just "get over"

I was just trying to point out that while special requests might seem "rude" on the surface they are often good reasons for them. Around here no one would bat an eyelash at the OP's invitation anyway.

I do think it may depend on where you live how people would react to such an invitation. I just try not to judge and just remember that there is usually a good reason when someone makes a request that seems odd to me. Especially a request that seems "rude" , since most people do not set out to offend others.


mama, didn't ya see me wink? I do believe your condition is serious and I think the " rule" about not suggesting appropriate gifts is just silly.

And speaking of appropriate gifts. What if someone gifted your child a toy gun> Around here this would be a typical gift for a young boy. And trust me, if I had a son I would no problems gifting the toy right back.
EarthMamaToBe's Avatar EarthMamaToBe 05:27 PM 04-17-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Potty Diva View Post
mama, didn't ya see me wink? I do believe your condition is serious and I think the " rule" about not suggesting appropriate gifts is just silly.

And speaking of appropriate gifts. What if someone gifted your child a toy gun> Around here this would be a typical gift for a young boy. And trust me, if I had a son I would no problems gifting the toy right back.
LOL my Mom would not let us have toy guns and she DID give them right back. Believe me she caused a stink doing that in the 70's in a small Southern town and a family of hunters. I'll never forget the looks she got!
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