Scared Toddler? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 10-15-2003, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
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My son just turned 2 in Sept., and lately, he has been telling me that he's scared for no apparent reason...... and I can't figure out why. There doesn't seem to be anything that he's really scared of, he's not really *acting* scared, just saying "momma, scared!" quite a bit.

I'm trying to figure out if he's really and truly scared, for some reason that i just don't know about yet, or is he just having fun with a new word? He seems to understand what "scared" is.. he's shown genuine "scared" reactions before.. so why would he tell me this all the time :

Is he just being a silly toddler man, or is there more to this scared business?

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#2 of 5 Old 10-15-2003, 06:01 PM
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I think it might be silly experimenting toddler man. I'd go withlots of difernt reactions to him being "scared," from overprotecting to becoming scared yourself. I suspect he knows what being scared is, but it is a scary emotion (for lack of a better word: ), and he has to play with it some.
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#3 of 5 Old 10-15-2003, 09:35 PM
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I think, like Grumo said, he could be working thru this emotion.....OR, your bright little one may have figured out a sure-fire way of getting lots of immediate attention from Mommy Saying that you are scared generally brings someone running with a hug, so maybe he is doing it for that reason. Pretty clever little kiddo!
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#4 of 5 Old 10-15-2003, 10:03 PM
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My DS has been working through the emotion words lately too. I've sort of gotten into the habit of just going with it. If he says, "mommy, I'm scared." I usually reply, "you're scared?." Sort of a question, but more of a just matter of fact statement about what he's just told me (usually with a good strong "head nod" type of acknowledgement). He'll usually counter with either, "yeah, and then procede to tell me why (the wind is loud outside)" or he'll say, "no, I'm not scared." And then just go back to what he was doing.

Im actually really glad he's doing this. It's important to me that he understand emotions, and no how to label them. I feel that for him to eventually use words in place of tantrums, it's key to have those emotions down...

One things I've learned NOT to do is to immediately ask, "What's wrong?" or "Why are you scared?" These kinds of questions rendered DS silent for some reason and unable to work it through it on his own... he struggles with recall which I've read is really normal for this age. He knows tons, just don't ask him about them or put him on the spot. At least, that's the way it's been lately for us.

Best of luck.

Em 43 - Wife to hubby Mom to DS born: Jan. '01
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#5 of 5 Old 10-15-2003, 10:57 PM
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I've got a Sept 2001 babe myself that has just this week started talking about "being scared" and wanting to avoid darkened rooms and such. DH and I were discussing it this morning and I said that I was sure it was a developmental milestone of some sort...that she is recognizing a sense of being uncomfortable and voicing her opinion about it. Yeah!

While I would love to keep her from being scared, realistically that's not feasible or even advisable. DH or I do talk to her when she says she's scared and hug or sing to her. She has said she's scared of lions (of course, Lion King came out last week on DVD and we got it) and then starts giggling about "Scar is naughty".

It seems normal, as the other mamas have pointed out, and a natural progression of becoming more aware of and understanding emotions. At this point we are following her cues and just being with her when she feels that she needs a little extra support. HTH!

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