Ok here goes. I am hoping that this will be somewhat cathartic as right now I am not talking to anyone else about it.
We were recently on a family holiday. I had a stagette to attend and my dh had a stag the night we got into town. Ds was to stay with my mom overnight. At the last minute she called and said they were going to stay at her boyfriend's because her place is really hot (it is). This bothered me because I had not met the boyfriend but they had been together for over a year. I was in a hurry and dropped ds off and left. The next day my son, the boyfriend and my mom all went to her house. It was hot so my mom was running a bath for ds and was going to the washroom. When she came out ds and the boyfriend were standing next to an ashtray. The boyfriend looked guilty and jumped back. My ds said 'he has an owie'. I guess there had been some inappropriate actions and language before this but when my mom told the boyfriend to stop them he did. My mom suspected that something had happened but did not say or do anything at this point. A week later when ds was staying over again. she asked my son if the boyfriend had an owie and ds said yes and she asked where and he touched her inner thigh. She asked if the boyfriend asked him to kiss it and ds said 'I said no'. She asked if the bf touched ds and he said yes and when she asked where he grabbed his penis.
I got told most of this in a text message the morning we were leaving at about 4am. This was 7 days after the incident and the day after she had questioned ds. The texts were garbled so I called and got the story from my mom.
DH and I went to the police who said because there was no evidence and because ds is 2 (26mo) and he could have been coaxed into saying what he did we really couldn't make charges stick. Even though he told dh the same thing. Basically the boyfriend made my mom look like a vindictive girlfriend although he admitted to inappropriate behaviour (he did not admit to the touching). So basically this guy will get off scot free.
My mom keeps emailing and texting me and at this point I want to just let it go. Ds is happy and not acting out and does not appear to be affected. Although on the other hand I want this guy to pay for what he did. My mom believes that ds should have been questioned and social services should have come in right away.
I don't really know what pushing an investigation and having ds questioned at this point (another week later) would do. If there is no evidence we cannot have him charged right?
I'm just so conflicted and I feel guilty that I let my son near someone I did not know or trust. My dh is really angry at my mom because she acted like nothing happened when he went to pick ds up the day of the incident and was all smiles with the bf. She saw us again midweek and said nothing. She also called midweek and lied about why she had broken up with the bf. We had a wedding the weekend after and ds stayed over then and still she said nothing when we picked him up. She saw a psychiatrist and he says she was in shock. I don't know how I am going to get over this or how dh is going to get past this so we can have a relationship with her again.
Thanks for reading I know it is a bit rambly.
We were recently on a family holiday. I had a stagette to attend and my dh had a stag the night we got into town. Ds was to stay with my mom overnight. At the last minute she called and said they were going to stay at her boyfriend's because her place is really hot (it is). This bothered me because I had not met the boyfriend but they had been together for over a year. I was in a hurry and dropped ds off and left. The next day my son, the boyfriend and my mom all went to her house. It was hot so my mom was running a bath for ds and was going to the washroom. When she came out ds and the boyfriend were standing next to an ashtray. The boyfriend looked guilty and jumped back. My ds said 'he has an owie'. I guess there had been some inappropriate actions and language before this but when my mom told the boyfriend to stop them he did. My mom suspected that something had happened but did not say or do anything at this point. A week later when ds was staying over again. she asked my son if the boyfriend had an owie and ds said yes and she asked where and he touched her inner thigh. She asked if the boyfriend asked him to kiss it and ds said 'I said no'. She asked if the bf touched ds and he said yes and when she asked where he grabbed his penis.
I got told most of this in a text message the morning we were leaving at about 4am. This was 7 days after the incident and the day after she had questioned ds. The texts were garbled so I called and got the story from my mom.
DH and I went to the police who said because there was no evidence and because ds is 2 (26mo) and he could have been coaxed into saying what he did we really couldn't make charges stick. Even though he told dh the same thing. Basically the boyfriend made my mom look like a vindictive girlfriend although he admitted to inappropriate behaviour (he did not admit to the touching). So basically this guy will get off scot free.
My mom keeps emailing and texting me and at this point I want to just let it go. Ds is happy and not acting out and does not appear to be affected. Although on the other hand I want this guy to pay for what he did. My mom believes that ds should have been questioned and social services should have come in right away.
I don't really know what pushing an investigation and having ds questioned at this point (another week later) would do. If there is no evidence we cannot have him charged right?
I'm just so conflicted and I feel guilty that I let my son near someone I did not know or trust. My dh is really angry at my mom because she acted like nothing happened when he went to pick ds up the day of the incident and was all smiles with the bf. She saw us again midweek and said nothing. She also called midweek and lied about why she had broken up with the bf. We had a wedding the weekend after and ds stayed over then and still she said nothing when we picked him up. She saw a psychiatrist and he says she was in shock. I don't know how I am going to get over this or how dh is going to get past this so we can have a relationship with her again.
Thanks for reading I know it is a bit rambly.