Another UNBELIEVABLE Comment From Mainstream Mom - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 65 Old 11-16-2003, 03:55 AM
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I've returned this after re-reading it. Please keep in mind that we all need to express our opinions without attacking anyone. Let's keep in on topic and play nice. Pleaaase.
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#62 of 65 Old 11-17-2003, 01:52 PM
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WTF?????? Can we say CHILD ABUSE? Anonymously call CPS on her. Why oh why does God give cruel idiots children? That poor kid may end up scarred for life with a paranoia about locks and being alone in a room........this makes me sick.....
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#63 of 65 Old 11-17-2003, 02:41 PM
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IME, attached children do not leave the parents bed and roam much. They trust mom or dad enough to allow them to wake her/him up and take care of them.

I have had friends who were not ap'ing whose children would open the front door in the early mornings and be found down the street by a neighbor, at age 3!

Who would wander off in a store and be found behind the cash register counter in a cubbyhole, not answering mom's calls.

These are the same kids who were trained to obey the instant mom or dad called, to drop everything immediately and leave the instant Mom was ready to go or Dad whisted. When they could get away with asserting their independence, they would, often in unsafe ways.

These are the types who move across country the second they turn 18.

We tried to transition my ds to his own room when he was 5. we were in a new house, his bedroom door was directly across the hall from ours. The girls bedrooms were upstairs, ours were down.

Well, right about then, he started sleep-walking (actually he would sleep run!). Even tho our doors were so close, I would not always sense him getting up to roam. I think he was trying to find the bathroom half asleep but would be disoriented. One time my dd found him at the top of the stairs, about to step off into space, asleep! She saved him and he was back in our bed from then on.
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#64 of 65 Old 11-17-2003, 09:18 PM
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"IME, attached children do not leave the parents bed and roam much. They trust mom or dad enough to allow them to wake her/him up and take care of them."

I agree 100%! By letting those poor children scream it is only teaching them that their cries don't matter. They know they are being ignored. It doesn't matter if the child is 2 days old or 12 years old...they get the message...their parents don't care. Its sad! It totally breaks my heart. What is wrong with people who think that this is OK What is wrong with our society that we just turn a blind eye to this sort of thing.

I can't imagine resorting to putting a lock on my child's door. First, I would try putting the child to bed later or cutting out an afternoon nap. If that didn't work then I would put some serious shades on his window to keep the light out...most children are really sensitive to light. If all of that failed then I would go to bed earlier so that I could be up with my child in the morning to attend to his needs.

I can't believe that this "parent" has no idea what kind of issues she is creating for her child.
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#65 of 65 Old 11-18-2003, 04:49 PM
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I have read this entire thread and it is sad what some people do. I could never let DD cry; I just couldn't. I was not raised this way, though -- I still remember my mother putting my sister in her room and letting her throw tantrums (during the day even, not at night). She used to time them.

I am also an introvert who needs time to recharge. I am a WAHM and DH is a SAHD, so we are both home during the day. I get a lot of my recharging time while I'm working. I also get it:
going for a walk w/DD in the stroller
in the shower
getting ready for bed
while she is nursing (yes, it's bonding time, but if she's falling asleep in the dark I can let my mind wander)

DD has a crib and takes naps in it. We put her in it after she goes to sleep for the night but she's up within 3 hours and in bed with us for the rest of the night.

To be brutally honest, I would prefer to not have her in bed with us every night. It precludes sex (of course I'm not in the mood anyway!) and she shoves me to the edge so sometimes I wake up and am about to fall off.

But you know what? It's not all about me anymore. Maybe my parents didn't put me first when I was little but I'm going to make damn sure I put my daughter first, until she's old enough to tell me she doesn't need it anymore.

A writer/runner/thinker/wife with two daughters (11/02 and 8/05), one dog, three cats, seven fish, and a partridge in a pear tree... in Vermont.
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