I think I just scarred DD - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-14-2009, 06:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She was nursing down for a nap (which she rarely takes anymore) and was wiggling like crazy! Plus, I have NO milk anymore due to being pregnant and nursing is extremely uncomfortable for me (we are working toward weaning completely, but DD still needs to nurse to fall asleep.) I just physically cannot stand the sensation on my nipples.

So as she was trying to fall asleep I got frustrated and out of my mouth came "Ugh. I can't stand it!" This is not the first time I've let a comment like that slip out, either.

Why can I not bite my tongue or think before I blurt something out?

DD turned away from me and said "I'm sorry, mama." She then fell asleep while we snuggled.

I feel like the worst mom in the world. :

Any thoughts or advice? I need support, not to be reminded of how horribly I'm making her feel. I already have such mixed feelings about our nursing relationship ending--I don't want to end things on a bad note.

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Old 03-14-2009, 07:10 PM
 
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You haven't scarred her! She's old enough now to start realizing other people have feelings, and she's not going to internalize it all. Have you explained to her (while playing, etc) that your boobies are sore because your body is changing? You might not think she'll understand it all, but she'll understand enough to know it's not HER, yk?

Are you getting enough water? Taking zinc and magnesium? I'm trying to remember what else I took when my lo was nursing during the pregnancy that helped with the icky nipple sensations... brb

---feeling like an emu on acid---
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:37 PM
 
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BTDT. You have not scarred her! Use this as an opportunity to model to her how you handle your mistakes - apologize with a very simple explanation "Honey, I'm so sorry I said that to you when you were nursing. My breasts (boobies, whatever you call them) were very tired." She will be okay!

DS 12/22/05 and DD 5/24/09
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:41 PM
 
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I'm 22 weeks pregnant and have no milk either. Fortunately in the last 1.5 weeks, we've cut DD's nursing down to less than 5 minutes a day. She used to have to nurse to sleep, but now we cuddle or I rock her in my arms. It was a difficult transition (because I felt the same way you do). Try to remember it is okay to express your feelings. Your DD is old enough to understand that nursing isn't comfortable for you anymore. I told my DD that it hurt to nurse because I had a baby in my tummy (and not that it was DD's fault.) You will stop feeling guilty when your DD happily falls asleep cuddled up next to you...and you will get that warm fuzzy feeling that you got nursing before you got pregnant. (At least that is what happened in my situation.)

mama to DD (7), DS (3.5), and another DS arriving in August!

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Old 03-14-2009, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all. You are so kind. I'm feeling better after hearing your responses and talking to a friend of mine who always knows how to say things that ease my mind (she said basically the same things as you all!)


georgiegirl: any tips on transitioning to rocking/snuggling to sleep rather than nursing?

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Old 03-16-2009, 06:04 AM
 
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The fact that she snuggled up & went to sleep would indicate to me it didn't upset her. You're doing great!

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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Old 03-16-2009, 06:07 AM
 
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I don't think there's something to worry about. Your DD is very sweet and I don't think you hurt her in any way.
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Old 03-16-2009, 11:15 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acupuncturemomma View Post
georgiegirl: any tips on transitioning to rocking/snuggling to sleep rather than nursing?
When I was going through this I had to make sure to wear a blouse that wasn't easy for my daughter to get her hand inside. I also wore a thick sports bra, and had a sippy cup of water available for her to drink. hth
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