Tips for nursing a newborn + a toddler? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-17-2009, 10:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey mamas - I'm nursing my little one - she's 26 months next week, and we have a baby coming next month (although earlier would be nice ). DD nurses to sleep most nights, and asks for "nummies" throughout the day. We talk about the baby coming, and how baby will need to nurse too, and DD will break off from nursing, pat the other side, and say "Abby's nummie!", so she gets that she will have to share...I'm just worried about what happens when the reality of a baby nursing around the clock hits her

Any advice?
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Old 05-18-2009, 06:36 PM
 
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My only advice is to give yourself some time. Finding positions that work well for nursing them together can get tricky, but you will find what works for you. I think in general the first month was hectic/overwhelming and then we found our "flow" I love nursing my girls together, watching them hold hands and sooth each other is beautiful. It's a nice way for all of us to connect and relax. I have been tandem nursing for 8 months now and still enjoy it. Now a days I find myself needing to get older dd's hair out of her sisters clutches.
Make yourself a comfy spot with lots of pillows and some water nearby. Best of luck to you!
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Old 05-19-2009, 11:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you!

I went to my first LLL meeting last night - they recommended that after birth, and until my milk comes in, I only nurse the new baby so she gets all the colostrum, since DD is a more efficient nurser and will bring the milk in quicker, and baby needs the colostrum more...but telling DD#1 that she can't have her num-nums when she wants them may just break my heart!
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Old 05-20-2009, 01:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by NewMama2007 View Post
I went to my first LLL meeting last night - they recommended that after birth, and until my milk comes in, I only nurse the new baby so she gets all the colostrum, since DD is a more efficient nurser and will bring the milk in quicker, and baby needs the colostrum more...but telling DD#1 that she can't have her num-nums when she wants them may just break my heart!
I'm surprised that they would advise that. It was not necessary in my experience and one of the oft-cited benifits of tandem nursing is that the oldern nursling can help bring in, and then regulate, your supply in the early days. DS was over his birthweight at only 2 days--- something I attribute to the fact that DD's nursing helped bring the milk in. I *think* that in the case of twins or triplet births they would each get less colostrum, but it's not considered dangerous. Sure, the colostrum is more concentrated, but the with *more* milk your new baby will be fine.

Of course, if your milk comes in quickly and you aren't around DD it probably won't be an issue, but for us DS was born at home and it would have been very heartbreaking to DD to not be allowed to nurse. During pregnancy when my supply dwindled and the taste changed I told DD that DS would be bringing lots of new milk with him. She would have been sad if he had "kept it" to himself.

That said, I think that each tandem nursing relationship (and, of course, each nursing relationship) is different. It seems like most often the older nursling increases their nursing for at least a short time. A few decrease their nursing (maybe because they have more visitors/excitement?). I know that DD gained about 5 lbs in the first few months (she hadn't put on much weight during my pg and was 31 months when DS was born).

I'm sending you good vibes for a healthy & easy birth followed by a wonderful nursing experience for the (soon to be) three of you.

 

 

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Old 05-20-2009, 02:13 AM
 
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Do you have Adventures in Tandem Nursing? Very helpful for me.
I found that I had some kind of aversion to nursing both dds together. I don't know why. I felt a need to limit dd1 and cut back on the frequency that she nursed. The process began before dd2 was born, though, because the milk supply dropped and I was very sore. It wasn't easy, but esp. since I had read that book and was prepared for this kind of situation, it was livable, and I still nursed dd1 past her 4th birthday, when weaning was truly easy for both of us. I feel really good about how things turned out for us. Every family is different, for some tandeming has no downside, for others it doesn't work out, for lots there is an in-between place.
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Old 05-20-2009, 03:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NewMama2007 View Post
I went to my first LLL meeting last night - they recommended that after birth, and until my milk comes in, I only nurse the new baby so she gets all the colostrum, since DD is a more efficient nurser and will bring the milk in quicker, and baby needs the colostrum more...but telling DD#1 that she can't have her num-nums when she wants them may just break my heart!
My milk came in so quickly with my second. We were still in the birthing center (and we didn't stay there that long!). My oldest didn't ask for milk when he visited. For us, the milk seemed to come in more quickly the second time around anyway (I was nursing throughout the pregnancy, if that might make a difference).

Tandem nursing didn't totally work for us. I had a hard time finding a comfortable position. I only did it when the baby needed to nurse and her brother was truly distraught about it -- probably a handful of times. It was kind of sweet to look down and see both of my babies nursing, though. DS ended up finding time to nurse in between the baby's sessions. In the first couple of months I was definitely a nursing machine, though!
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:42 PM
 
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I don't have a source, but I read on the Mothering website, I think in the advice from experts section, that the colostrum is produced for a finite amount of time, not in a finite amount. Therefore, it only matters that your newborn is nursing, and probably before or with the toddler, not that the newborn is exclusively nursing. According to that article, your newborn will get the colostrum he or she needs regardless of tandem nursing.
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Old 05-22-2009, 05:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NewMama2007 View Post
Thank you!

I went to my first LLL meeting last night - they recommended that after birth, and until my milk comes in, I only nurse the new baby so she gets all the colostrum, since DD is a more efficient nurser and will bring the milk in quicker, and baby needs the colostrum more...but telling DD#1 that she can't have her num-nums when she wants them may just break my heart!
I have been careful to make sure my older one nurses only after baby, but have not eliminated nursing for a few days... sounds like a sure way to create sibling rivalry to me.

Have you considered night weaning or at least having dad try to get her back to sleep first before baby comes? I never lost my milk during pg, and nursing at night w/ ds1 was just easier... until ds2 came along and then the nights were really tough. We nightweaned ds2 early on in my pg and moved him to bed with dh and ds1 and nights were easier with ds3.

I also never liked nursing two at the same time although it was necessary for peace at times. There are challenges, but overall, tandem has been a lifesaver and I feel it has really helped my boys be close to one another.

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