Mama-Led Weaning Support Thread - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 130 Old 01-21-2010, 07:58 PM
 
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#92 of 130 Old 01-24-2010, 02:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess my only tip would be to decide on a number of nursings per day that you are comfortable giving, and then gradually decrease it by cutting out one feeding at a time. Like, for example, in my case, I've decreased from 2 times in the morning and two in the afternoon to 2 times in the morning and 1 in the afternoon, then one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and so on. But we did this very VERY gradually. We've been working on it for months and months and it has been almost completely painless that way. So I'm not the person to talk to about less gradual weaning.

So...as for us, DS has not nursed since Wednesday! Do you think he is weaned? He did ask for daybees in his sleep last night. I kind of wish he would nurse one more time, because the last time I wasn't really paying attention and savoring the moment...wasn't thinking it would be the last time.

Of course maybe he is not done yet, just taking a break. Who knows? I'm ready to be done anytime but I am also ok with one nursing session a day or so for another month or two if he wants it...so I guess I'm fine either way.

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#93 of 130 Old 01-24-2010, 06:20 PM
 
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#94 of 130 Old 01-24-2010, 08:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was thinking about designating a nursing chair. That way I could say how many times a day she can nurse, and then set a timer with the one minute warning beep. I'm thinking that she's become more insistent because I've been shortening the sessions.

Any tips for accomplishing this would be greatly appreciated!
A specified place for nursing sounds like a great way to start the process!

DS is nursing right now! I guess he wasn't completely done. Off to savor the moment.

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#95 of 130 Old 01-24-2010, 10:16 PM
 
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I guess my only tip would be to decide on a number of nursings per day that you are comfortable giving, and then gradually decrease it by cutting out one feeding at a time. Like, for example, in my case, I've decreased from 2 times in the morning and two in the afternoon to 2 times in the morning and 1 in the afternoon, then one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and so on.
I've been doing it this way and it has taken time, but we're down to 3-4 nursings a day, instead of 7 or 8. It's great. I'm so much happier and I don't think Nora even notices!

Barefoot - I'm so glad you got at least one more chance to savor the moment!

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#96 of 130 Old 01-27-2010, 01:12 AM
 
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I have a 10 month old after reading all of your posts I'm starting to dread weaning! My DS stopped wanting to nurse after only 2 months old so I was pretty determined to nurse for the first year with my DD. She took to it like a champ and then when I wanted to try to introduce a bottle(with breast milk) at 6 weeks she refused. I just wanted to be able to get away for a little while every now and again but she made it impossible. She still doesn't take a bottle well and no one but me can put her to sleep. I'd like to start taking some classes here and there but I have no idea what times to schedule or anything till I start weaning. What feedings are the first to go? She nurses to bed around 9 with 1-3 wakings during the night. She is not one to wake up and nurse first thing the morning. Nurses before 2 naps and usually once or twice in between. I really want to just start the process in another 2 months or so but I'd like to be done, or at least down to just a couple a day around 18 months.
You will be surprised how much your LO's demand may go down in the next few months, especially once she starts eating more solids. My DS nursed at least that much at that age, and I think it was only a few months later that the random daytime (non-nap related) nursings got dropped for the most part. Plus your DD will probably go down to one nap a day in a few months too. Conceivably, your mornings and afternoons could open up a fair bit for your classes, with no pushing on your part.

Glad to have found this thread. I'll be back with our story later!

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#97 of 130 Old 01-27-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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Anyone here have the situation where their husband is very annoyed with the continued night nursing of a near 3-year old? I want to quit nursing our DD to sleep at night, but I feel like my husband is just about to kick me out of the house for a week so he can wean our DD on his own.

He thinks I never want to quit, which is untrue, I'm just really sleepy...and never see the time when we can grasp the night weaning full boar and "get her off it" for good.

There's the going to sleep, then 1 or 2 times during the night, and still the 5am session, that lasts for nearly 2 hours. Our DD always says she wants me to sleep with her, and I will lay there with her until she falls asleep. But she's so used to nursing to sleep, I fear the only way to get her off it is to quit cold turkey, which will result in lots of screaming and crying for many nights in a row.

The last thing in the world I want is to mess up my relationship with her because of quitting "na". I'm afraid she'll resent me and not trust me. I keep telling her I'll always hold her and sit with her until she falls asleep, but how in the world do you quit night nursing???
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#98 of 130 Old 01-28-2010, 02:15 AM
 
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Anyone here have the situation where their husband is very annoyed with the continued night nursing of a near 3-year old? I want to quit nursing our DD to sleep at night, but I feel like my husband is just about to kick me out of the house for a week so he can wean our DD on his own.
My DD isn't as old as yours, she's only 22 months, but I know my husband is kind of irritated with the night nursing.

Partially "just because", but there's another reason behind it also, given that we're in the middle of a divorce which will be concluded soon.

Given that he's fought to have shared custody of our children and will have them several nights each week, night weaning is pretty much a necessity. Even if that wasn't enough reason, I am kind of over it at this point too. She nurses so little during the day often that I don't feel like I have the supply to keep up with the frequent nursing she wants to do at night. I'm also all touched out given that she constantly wants to play, pinch and tweak the free nipple, which has started getting REALLY annoying.

I'm really torn about how to approach the night weaning. My husband isn't really very helpful with any of the parenting, especially not nighttime parenting, which has been a main source of problems. So generally I can't count on him for help at night. In a way that makes me wonder if it'll end up being a cold turkey thing on the nights that he ends up having our children, but that idea makes me feel bad and guilty too. I don't want to have my DD upset unnecessarily.

My DD is also really stubborn and strong-willed, and I can't even latch her off sooner (even using the tips from the No Cry Sleep Solution) at night (even when mostly asleep) without all hell breaking loose. During the day I can distract her, and we nurse rarely, mostly for comforting.

I have a special needs DS who is 4.5, and he spent the first 3.5+ years being an abysmal sleeper, and then also DD's nursing once she was born... I'm beyond frazzled and need my sleep.

If anyone's been through a similar situation, or who maybe has tips about a fairly quick way of night weaning, I'd love to hear it. I've been putting off the weaning to a large degree because I'm just not entirely sure how to handle or approach it, and I really don't have the luxury of a long period of weaning.


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#99 of 130 Old 01-28-2010, 09:31 AM
 
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^Oh, that just sucks. How long do you think you have until all the dust settles and she's spending nights w/her father?

Dr Jay Gordon's method only took us about 2 weeks to completely nightwean. Note, Nora still wakes up at night but she does not look to nurse. Not everybody has such quick success but if your LO is ready, it really doesn't take long and there isn't much of a fight.

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#100 of 130 Old 01-28-2010, 08:26 PM
 
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^Oh, that just sucks. How long do you think you have until all the dust settles and she's spending nights w/her father?

Dr Jay Gordon's method only took us about 2 weeks to completely nightwean. Note, Nora still wakes up at night but she does not look to nurse. Not everybody has such quick success but if your LO is ready, it really doesn't take long and there isn't much of a fight.
2 weeks would be awesome.

I'm not entirely sure how ready she is. It seems, like others have mentioned, that a lot of the daytime nursing can be due to boredom or just being able to (climbing on my lap when I'm watching tv/on my computer and then just wanting to futz with my shirt). She can nap without needing to nurse down, as she'll go to sleep on her dad or will curl up in her armchair and go to sleep on her own.

She doesn't yet have her own bed, we co-sleep with her, though I do want to get her her own toddler bed soon, after I move. I think that sometimes less direct access to me helps with it. Though I still enjoy co-sleeping with her, she's not an active mobile sleeper like her brother was.

That said, she really does like to nurse, even if nutritionally there isn't much she gets from it, because I don't think my supply is substantial at all. When she's on my lap and my shirt gets lifted, she gets a huge smile on her face and laughs. At least the past day or two there has been a lot less of the nipple play, which has made it more pleasing for me.

I will have to look up Jay Gordon's method, it sounds like it might have interesting ideas.

I think the nights with her father will actually help, though I don't think my husband would be in for a fun time... but he he got off pretty easily the past 4.5 years In all seriousness, not having me around would probably make it easier to be consistent in stopping the drinking given the fact that there is no giving in when there are no lactating boobs around.


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#101 of 130 Old 01-28-2010, 10:05 PM
 
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FWIW, Dr Jay Gordon advocates having your partner take over the night parenting for that very reason. They don't have any milk. When my DD would wake up, I would try rocking and singing first, but if she fussed at all, I would give her to DH and disappear. She would fall right asleep on him, no problems. He would keep her the rest of the night. After 2 weeks (give or take) she and I went back to co-sleeping and she stopped waking up completely. She was sleeping anywhere from 9 or 10 pm till 5 am or so. I chose not to nurse b/w 11 pm and 6 am as that was the chunk of sleep I decided was most important.

Then her molars decided to come in.

Now she wakes up but needs rocking (from me) to get back to sleep, or to lay on DH. So, I figure once her teeth are done, she might *might* get back into STTN.

AFM - this morning, I went to nurse DD first thing upon waking like normal. I guess it was about 8 am. She kept popping off to boob, really distracted, watching TV, etc, which she never does. So I said, "Do you want a banana instead?" and she sat up, put my shirt down, and nodded.

It was bittersweet, but secretly I was happy. She's definitely choosing solids over nursies! I'm not just forcing this on her. It's like she's ready, and I feel good about it!

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#102 of 130 Old 01-29-2010, 03:18 AM
 
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I could use support too. I've been working on gently weaning my son for the past month and it is just NOT working. He is not ready to give it up, but I am not able to continue. I don't enjoy it, and I really feel a strong need to do a cleanse and I do not want to nurse him while that is going on. As soon as I have done that and gotten some dental work, I want to TTC, and it would be nice to not nurse while pregnant.
Today I told him it was his last day nursing, and he didn't even ask at bedtime, but I am worried about how I will deal with it when he is tired tomorrow and screams for the boob.

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#103 of 130 Old 01-29-2010, 05:17 PM
 
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Hi ladies. I'm looking down the barrel of a sloooooooooow weaning process. DS is almost 21 months (he'll be two in May), and I'm looking to completely wean this summer. I feel like I have to justify it, but really, I'm just done. I'm not pregnant, I don't think it's "weird" to nurse longer... I'm just ready to be done. I am starting to resent nursing.

I'm currently working at cutting out DS's morning nursing session. I'm a WOHM, DS could just nurse for hours and hours in the morning. Trying to get dressed, get myself and him fed and dressed, and then either get myself out the door (3 days a week, DH stays home with DS during the day and works at night) or get ALL of us out the door (DH works two mornings a week), and the morning nursing is getting sooooooooooo frustrating.

He's not happy about it, but he's dealing pretty well. Whines and fusses a bit and then asks for "ceyal rains" (cereal with raisins). We are still nursing when I get home from work, and then once at bedtime, and probably will until the end of the school year. I used to go home at lunch to eat and nurse him, but that was almost causing more problems than it solved; DS thought that once I was home I should stay home.

I know it seems backwards to wean in the summer, when I'm home all the time, but there are just so many more options for distracting activities when it's not -40F outside. And we'll be in the Lower 48 visiting family, so there will be no shortage of DS-deprived grandmas and grandpas and aunties and uncles just ITCHING to distract him.

So yeah. There's my intro.

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#104 of 130 Old 01-30-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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I'm new here, too. DD is now 2 and 2 months, I am newly pregnant, and I am ready to be done. On top of that, she has horribly tooth decay which the dentist attributes to night nursing (not sure I buy it) and hasn't gained much weight at all in the past year or so. The pediatrician says that she needs more solids, and no more nursing, ASAP.

It's been a month and a half since the pediatrician told us to cut it out, but I couldn't actively work on weaning until about 2 weeks ago. We were traveling over the holidays, and in general I felt like it just wasn't a good time. Also the last of DD's 2 year molars were coming in.

In the past week and a half, I've successfully cut out night nursing and any random/casual nursing during the day. Now we're down to bedtime, waking up time, and nap time, and I can't seem to cut any further. I've been working on reducing the time of the morning feeding, but she needs her sleep desparately, and although she can sometimes be walked/rocked to sleep, it's very difficult. I feel that it will be a long road to getting her to settle herself to sleep. (I've never been a great sleeper, either).

Anyway, between her possibly-nursing-related health issues and my pregancy, and the fact that she's 2 years old, talking in sentences, etc., I feel like it's definitely time. I just don't know how she'll ever settle to sleep without nursing!
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#105 of 130 Old 01-31-2010, 11:35 PM
 
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I just don't know how she'll ever settle to sleep without nursing!
I was worried about this too, but it hasn't been a big deal. Sometimes he asks to nurse and gets upset, but he has figured out other ways to get to sleep in the night. He still needs me as often as he did before, but I am able to just cuddle him and not nurse. He likes to put his hand on my neck and smush his cheek against mine sometimes, I imagine it gives him the same feeling as being up against the breast.

I decided today is his last day nursing and I am starting a cleanse tomorrow. Part of me feels really guilty because he is so young, but I know this is whats best overall for me and the kids.

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#106 of 130 Old 02-01-2010, 09:01 AM
 
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It looks like your DS is about the same age as my DD (11/07). For me, I really started to feel that it was time to wean after she turned 2.

We've had some success walking and rocking her to sleep in the past week or so, but it's usually after nursing. She's been regressing on potty-use, too. I know she's not happy about weaning, but I worry that there might be something else going on, too. It's also possible that she's just gone overboard on some harder-to-digest foods in the past few days.

Is raw bread dough really bad for you?
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#107 of 130 Old 02-03-2010, 02:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Is raw bread dough really bad for you?
Is there a story behind this? I can't think why it would be BAD for you, and I hope it can't be too hard to digest in small amounts because my DS manages to defeat my security and eat some every time.

My kid's been out of sorts a little lately too, but I don't think it's weaning-related. Maybe it's the weather or something, it seems like everyone's kids are crazy. DS is still nursing every now and then. No more than once a day and often less.

Good luck and happy weaning vibes to all those who need it!

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#108 of 130 Old 02-04-2010, 01:02 PM
 
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Hi ladies. I'm looking down the barrel of a sloooooooooow weaning process. DS is almost 21 months (he'll be two in May), and I'm looking to completely wean this summer. I feel like I have to justify it, but really, I'm just done. I'm not pregnant, I don't think it's "weird" to nurse longer... I'm just ready to be done. I am starting to resent nursing.
This is me right here too. My twin boys are 3 and I'm done. I've been done :

I think we are finally on our way to fully weaning one of them. Ronin hasn't nursed in about a week or so, and Ryker nurses once a day in the morning..

The boys go to special needs preschool (PPCD), so they are distracted all day. But when it's the weekend, they'll both nurse in the morning.

I'd love to fully wean without them being upset, but I'm not sure if that's possible.
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#109 of 130 Old 02-05-2010, 02:43 AM
 
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I've been following this thread for a while now, and thought I'd post about our last nursing moment. We have been slowly weaning for a while. First cutting out morning nursings (quickly jumping out of bed and distracting him), then naptime nursing (having either daycare providers or my partner put him down) and now, finally, his nighttime nursing. The nighttime nursing was the trickiest. First I stopped nursing him to sleep and instead handed him off to his other mom after nursing time for "special baba song" time. After he got used to this I started pulling him off after a small bit of time saying "oh my - you drank mama milk all up - you're such a big boy!" And then distracting him with going to his other mom. Oy - this hasn't been as smooth as this paragraph makes it sound! It's definately been an up and down process that has lasted almost 6 months. Anyway...

On our last nursing day earlier this week, Gabriel curled up in my arms and asked to nurse while I rocked him in the rocking chair. I reminded him that there wasn't much mama milk left and let him nurse. He nursed for a few seconds and then turned his head up towards me and said "mama milk all gone. I big kid now." My heart skipped a beat. Then he leaned into me with a big hug and whispered "I love you, mama."

Hang in there, all. It can be done.

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#110 of 130 Old 02-05-2010, 05:25 PM
 
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Our slow weaning process.

We used Jay Gordons night weaning method at 15 months.
18 months I started my dont offer, distract, but dont refuse if she doesnt get distracted. With that she was still nursing about 6-7 times a day.
Then at 21 months I started a strict 4 times a day rule unless she got hurt or something. It was morning, nap, after supper and bedtime.
Then I noticed her skipping the mornings a month later so I cut that one out.
Then at about 22 months I cut her suppertime one without too much protest.
We are at 23 months now and she is nursing twice a day, before her nap and before bed. She doesnt need it to fall asleep though. I have been putting her to bed awake since I nightweaned her. She does protest a little but I never let her get hysterical. After she turns 2 I will cut off her nap one and then her bedtime one.

I love it when she looks at me after and say Mmm good mommy. Its nice to be appreciated. <3

PS: I am done. I want my body back before I get pregnant with #2. My goal was 2 years and I made it. Repitition and persistance made this really easy on us so far. I cant say there wasnt any tears on both our parts, but I was there for her every step of the way. We have a new ritual now. She is always trying to steal my coffee or tea. So now I make her her own "cuppee". I make it with grain coffee and soymilk and we both have out coffee together in the morning. It makes her feel grown up. lol.

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#111 of 130 Old 02-08-2010, 09:22 PM
 
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thanks for this thread. look forward to reading through it.
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#112 of 130 Old 02-11-2010, 12:05 AM
 
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Hi everyone, my DS is 23 months old and is down to only nursing 1 time right before bed. It's been this way for several months now. He also only nurses a few minutes and then is done. I really am ready for him to wean completely. I have been replacing the time he'd be nursing with bathtime and then DH rocks him. I really want to gently wean, but am just not comfortable nursing past age 2. I've been doing this the past 3 days & have only nursed him once when he was really, really wanting to nurse. Does this sound like a gentle way to wean? I don't want it to be traumatic for him, but also am very ready for him to wean. Any advice is appreciated
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#113 of 130 Old 02-11-2010, 09:56 AM
 
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I've been trying to let DD just play and have sippy cups instead of offering nursies. It's going really well! Yesterday she didn't ask in the morning, so she only nursed technically 4 times - nap, after nap, before dinner, bed.

The before dinner one was really for me, b/c she was incredibly fussy and just couldn't figure out what she wanted/needed. I did ask her if she wanted to nurse and she ran to me and was so excited.

It's hard b/c at times I do feel like I'm keeping something from her that she wants, but I know this is what I want and what will ultimately be best for both of us.

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#114 of 130 Old 02-11-2010, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mscoffee, that sounds like a gentle weaning to me. Good luck!

AFM, I think DS is done. It's been 6 days now.

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#115 of 130 Old 02-11-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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Wow, so DS has been, one average, not nursing at all an average of one day a week. Wackiness.

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#116 of 130 Old 02-14-2010, 03:39 PM
 
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Carrie, when I started cutting my DS (almost 2) back a few months ago, I noticed he was more cranky than usual. I think even if they are distracted enough not to want the nursing, they still sense something is different in a way that doesn't make them happy.

Our process was going GREAT but now it's a disaster. We easily cut him back from nursing about 7-10 times a day after 18 months (having nightweaned already) to 4 times (morning, nap if I'm home, before dinner, and nighttime), and pretty easily cut out both the pre-dinner and even the nap session. We were down to morning and night, and it was going great. I even managed to move the night session from right before bed to before going upstairs. BUT!!!!

I told him we were going to stop nursing in the morning, prepared him for a few days, did one day of just about half a minute of nursing, then told him no the next day. The first day wasn't so bad; but since then, he has been asking to nurse in the middle of the night, which he hasn't done in months, and he wakes up super early and screams and cries to nurse until I agree to get him out of bed. Then he's fine with some water or milk. AND he has been asking to nurse more often during the day!!!! I am so disappointed. Has this happened to anyone else?

I have been thinking maybe it would be better to just stop nursing altogether so it's not an option, but that seems a bit harsh. I also don't want to go back to nursing in the morning now that we have stopped though. Help!
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#117 of 130 Old 02-15-2010, 04:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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sarah, how many days has it been since you cut out that morning nursing? If it's only been a day or two I'd stick it out a few more and see if he gets used to it. Or maybe you could go back to nursing in the morning and before bed for a week or two, but make sure the morning nursing is well after he is awake? For us the morning nursing was the last one we cut out and I never actually had to cut it out, he just gave it up on his own, but months ago I had told him, no daybees until Mommy is up and has coffee. so eventually our "morning" nursing became an "after breakfast" nursing and he started just forgetting about it for days at a time.

I hope it works out!

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#118 of 130 Old 02-15-2010, 05:05 PM
 
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Thanks - that's a good idea... he is already doing a good job getting over it once we are downstairs and started on our day. My DH took the morning shift this morning and soothed DS when he woke around 4:30, and that seemed to help - he slept through until 7 after that. He still asked to nurse as soon as he found me, but at least he wasn't asking in the middle of the night! I wish I had used your strategy, though - I will remember that for next time!
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#119 of 130 Old 02-15-2010, 06:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
no daybees until Mommy is up and has coffee. so eventually our "morning" nursing became an "after breakfast" nursing and he started just forgetting about it for days at a time.
I like this. How long did it take you guys? Nora now knows to wait until after I've got my coffee made, but I haven't been able to even get a sip of it b/c she starts asking for nursies. The past week or so, I nurse her and then have my coffee but I do want it to be the other way around. Pushing it off an hour or so seems to be the best way to eventually eliminate it.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#120 of 130 Old 02-15-2010, 07:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I like this. How long did it take you guys? Nora now knows to wait until after I've got my coffee made, but I haven't been able to even get a sip of it b/c she starts asking for nursies. The past week or so, I nurse her and then have my coffee but I do want it to be the other way around. Pushing it off an hour or so seems to be the best way to eventually eliminate it.
We started the "after coffee" thing first of October. At that point he was still nursing about 5 other times a day though. Then we cut out all the other nursings very slowly one by one and he gave up the morning nursing by himself late Jan/early Feb. Actually he hadn't nursed for over a week but I just nursed him today because he is sick and sleepy and I think he needed it. This was probably his last time.

So it took us 4 months to cut out that morning nursing but we were taking it really slow on purpose. I'm sure you could go faster if you wanted.

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