The guilt of weaning! :( - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 10-14-2009, 02:07 PM - Thread Starter
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My dd is 2 years old. She turned 2 on the 24th of sept. And I'm 10 weeks pregnant. I've been pregnant 4 other times since she's been born, they ended in m/c. But that matters because I had long bouts of sickness over and over. OK! So here is my story. At 10 months I was ready to be done, but knew it was way too early. by 18 months I was beyond ready to be done. But waited until 2. By the time she was 2 she was nursing every 3-5 days. Mother-led. Now she hasn't nursed in 10 days.

I feel horrible. The guilt is overwhemling. She still wants to nurse. We've been nursing once week but that was awful because by the 7th day I'd be engorged. Now I have no milk. It's gone. I feel like I robbed her. I was watching her sleep last night thinking we'll probubly never nurse again : I feel like I squandered her babyhood, wishing it away. Because I weaned her because I thought if I didn't have a nursing break I'd not be able to nurse the next baby as long.

She comes up and says "nurse? pleeeaase" then before I can say anything says "ok, no nurse" : Did anyone else have guilt of weaning? When does it go away?

Danielle, wife to John, mama to Valley9.24.07
expecting our miracle babies around 5.12.10- praying that baby B grows healthy and strong!
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#2 of 3 Old 10-14-2009, 02:24 PM
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I still sometimes feel guilty about weaning. I also nursed until my son was 2. At that point, we had been TTC for about 5 months and were thinking the continued nursing may have factored in. I wanted to nurse him to at least 2, but at point I was ok with weaning in order to work on conceiving.

It was hard for me. He loooved nursing. I'm sure he would still be nursing if I hadn't weaned. For me, though, I thought that in the long run a sibling closer in age was more important than another 6-12 months of nursing.

He still likes to rub "nursies", but is doing that less and less (9 months later). He's still a really snuggly boy, and we still have a wonderful relationship.

She will be ok. It's ok for both of you to be sad. A nursing relationship is a wonderful thing, and it can be hard to end. Its not the end of your relationship though, and your relationship will continue to grow and change and be wonderful.

Mommy to two super cute kids.
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#3 of 3 Old 10-14-2009, 03:33 PM
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I thought I was crazy for feeling so guilty too.....with the flu season upon us and the joy of watching him nurse to sleep.....I am still having BIG guilt....

I weaned DS this last Sunday. We had a wonderful nursing relationship for the longest time....I seriously thought we'd be nursing for years but after the last few months of fighting one problem after another, I knew it was time when he was latching on and it hurt yet again (milk blister, again) and with no supply on the other side to switch to, I decided then that it was time....

I had been contemplating weaning him for a little while because it was getting to the point that every time I turned around we were either fighting thrush or milk blisters or bad latch or something else....and I was getting tired of fighting it and constantly being in pain (and yes I tried all kinds of things to take care of all of the problems we were having)....and I really didn't want our nursing relationship to get to the point where we both were going to have bad memories of the way it ended.....

Within 24 hours of this decision, I was feeling awful and he was just fine....

He has only asked once and it was last night as we were rocking to he want's to go to bed like a "big boy" which makes me feel sad in a whole other way....he is growing up so fast......

I feel that no matter what anybody else says, that mommy instinct will kick in and tell you when it is time, if that time comes, and if not and you are able to continue until your DC's instinct kicks in and they decide that it is time, that is wonderful too. Everyone is different and every nursing relationship is different and I am just happy that we were able to nurse for as long as we did and for it to be a good experience for both of is for as long as it was.

Hope this helps....I'm sure the feeling will go away at some point but until then,

: mama to B-Man
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