Advice for nursing/cosleeping while pregnant? (x-posted in pregnancy) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-03-2010, 08:26 PM - Thread Starter
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Anyone else out there trying to manage being pg (10.5 weeks here) while nursing and/or cosleeping? I am so nauseous and tired (hx of HG here) and had this crazy thought (based on a few friends' stories) that my milk would dry up and that would help my 15 month old ease out of the all-night fascination with my milk bar. Well that hasn't happened and she is a terrible co-sleeper (punches, kicks, pinches, scratches and bites my nipples in her sleep) to the point that with my hormones and lack of sleep some mornings I wake up already wanting to throw her or myself out the window. Then my 4 (almost 5) year old wonders why mama is so tired and short fused.

Please don't flame but we have tried the transition to the crib and dd is adamantly opposed to it - okay so we are only on day 2 of the all night trial but she has been up every 10-15 minutes and only slept straight about 2 hours last night. Add that to her habit of only sleeping for about 20 minutes a day (in her crib) and I am getting really desperate. I can barely keep up with the nutrition and hydration for the baby and with dd nursing all day and night (by all day I mean about oncce every 2 hours or so - if she cosleeps she's on my nipple most of the night or screaming if it falls out of her mouth) I am getting really really waaay more dehydrated and sick than I was with my other 2 pregnancies.

So has anyone out there been through this or have any advice? I am not sure whether its better to try to nightwean now and just hope the all night waking up lessens or cosleep and then at least my dh sleeps (but I don't get any and I get more dehydrated/sick). My dd is nowhere near ready to fully wean (and I wouldn't want to force that) and I am not opposed to tandem nursing but I just don't know how to get through this and maintain my (and my babies') health.

On a side note I am feeling so ill now that after having two babies out of the hospital (one at a birth center and one at home) successfully I am actually considering a hospital birth for this one so that I can stay with my ob's (who follow me during my 1st trimesters for low progesterone before I usually switch to my midwife for homebirth) and have access to IV's (I can get them easily in the ob office whenever I need them for dehydration), continued Zofran rx's, and whatever other support I need. My dh thinks I have lost my mind!

Christine, wife to my dh since 10/03, mama to my three monkeys ~:-) ds1/6/05, dd9/9/08 and ds 8/3/10

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#2 of 6 Old 01-03-2010, 08:41 PM
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BF'ing while pregnant is not always fun and it sounds like you have a lot going on.

Usually it helps me if we start transitioning to dh doing bed times with the baby and getting them to sleep while I rest myself. Also keeping a sippy with some water in it by the bed might help if she is thirsty at night.

Have you tried laying down on a mattress with her on the floor and then getting into your own bed once she goes to sleep? Or getting her something she can hold onto at night like a small doll.

I don't do pacis but I wonder if she might take one if she is needing something to suck on???
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#3 of 6 Old 01-03-2010, 08:48 PM
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I would nightwean for sure. Actually I'd wean totally but the throw-baby-out-the-window feelings for me were the boss. I just knew that meant that nursing during pregnancy a good idea for me . My son and I found new ways to relate and it was just the right way for us. everyone is different though! People get through what you're dealing with for sure. Just not a battle that was worth it to me.

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

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#4 of 6 Old 01-03-2010, 09:36 PM
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I would try to gently nightwean. Jay Gordon's method worked for me and my DD (who is also 15 mo). It might help to have your partner co-sleep w/your LO so that when she wakes up she doesn't even think to look or ask for milk. For us it was a really smooth transition.

(PS - trust me, I know what you mean w/the throwing and or jumping out the window!! You're not alone!!! )

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn ('08) and Finnley Dax ('11) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#5 of 6 Old 01-03-2010, 09:40 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the replies so far...I have tried giving her various dolls and she throws them all right back at me or the floor. She will chew on a paci occasionally if she finds one around the house but both my babies never took a paci or a bottle...I have tried a sippy at night and she throws that back at us too. Its sort of like dh and I are her security blanket and my breasts are her paci's.

I think we wouldn't be able to do the mattress on the floor thing because she is a mastermind at getting into and out of things and despite our best efforts to childproof everything has many times snuck out of bed while cosleeping to wreak havoc on our room (or turn on and off daddy's sleep machine over and over again until he wakes up ). I think at this age we had ds's crib sidecar'ed to the bed with the front rail off and when he was done nursing I would move him back over there but there isn't enough room in our room for that in this house (we moved since then) and knowing dd she would escape the crib anyway. I did joke with dh that maybe it would just be easier on all of us if we just got rid of all the furniture and made our entire master bedroom into one big mattress.

ETA: Thanks Carrie - I will have to check that out too...

Christine, wife to my dh since 10/03, mama to my three monkeys ~:-) ds1/6/05, dd9/9/08 and ds 8/3/10

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#6 of 6 Old 01-04-2010, 02:17 AM
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I am now 32 weeks pregnant and DD is 21 months. We have been nursing and cosleeping this entire time. Most of my milk went away early in the pregnancy and I was worried that we might be done nursing but she has kept going and is now getting quite a bit of clear milkish liquid out.

I did night wean a month or two ago and it was a wonderful decision for us. DD has been a terrible sleeper her entire life and just before night weaning was waking up 3-4 night/average to ask to nurse. For a long time before weaning I would only let her latch on for two minutes--she would be out by the end of that time, and then we went to one minute. I started saying that it was time to go night night and that she could have more nummies in the morning. It only took a couple of nights for her to stop asking to nurse in the middle of the night (except once every few nights) and just a few weeks later she rarely wakes up at all! It was a long road to this point. I was worried about being up with a newborn and her and also worried that neither of us were getting enough sleep. That chronic exhaustion is so miserable. If DH is able to, he could help you get some extra rest, too. And as for the hospital birth, that is your decision, and I don't think that you have lost your mind. It is important to feel like you can get the care you need, whatever you decide that is. Maybe you can still see your OB but continuing planning an out-of-hospital birth.

I think you do have options and hope that things get better for you soon.

Single HB mama to 2!
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