Feeling sad about 17 mo weaning - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 09-03-2010, 02:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I guess it's happening. DS is 17.5 months old and has just in the last few days stopped nursing completely. Part of it was because he was sick and teething, but he is better now and still won't latch. I offer several times a day, but don't want to push it on him. Sometimes he will approach and just put my nipple in his mouth, but he doesn't latch and usually pulls away and shakes his head "no."

I'm also 10 weeks pregnant and knew that my milk might change or dry up, but I thought I had a few more months before that happened. But I guess that could be the reason too?

I had been thinking about nightweaning him soon anyway because I just need more sleep before I have to start all over in a few months. DH is calling this a "gift from god" because we were both stressed about the nightweaning process and since DS stopped nursing he has been sleeping long stretches already. I see DH's point and I am happy that I was able to nurse until DS decided to stop. But really, I just feel very sad about it. I was already mourning the upcoming change in my relationship with DS with the birth of this new baby (it wasn't a planned pregnancy), so I think this just makes that feeling more intense. I guess its just the first of many "letting go" practices that come with parenting. But
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#2 of 4 Old 09-05-2010, 08:48 PM
 
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me too, Mama. DS is 17.5 months and stopped nursing a week ago. Same with the being sick and teething, and now he won't latch anymore at all and seems completely uninterested. I was stressed b/c DH wanted me to wean him before his 2nd bday, and now it seems he has done it himself... which is sort of a blessing but still makes me incredibly sad. I am not pregnant so can't empathize about the change of relationship with a new baby, but I am definitely grieving the end of nursing for us. It is very hard emotionally, even without pg hormones going on! I'm so sorry. Glad to see your post, though, as I feel less alone . I've been crying a lot about it, but it's getting better each day.

Happy mama to our miracle son Benjamin - 3/09 after a long road of infertility
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#3 of 4 Old 09-07-2010, 04:07 PM
 
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Wow...I was just visiting the message boards to post the very same thing! I don't really have any one else in my life who can quite relate. Most of my friends have much older children. My 17.5 month old son has not nursed in about three days. I guess I was encouraging weaning by loosely using the "don't offer, don't refuse" method. For a couple of months now he has been less interested (restless, digging in with his teeth, not actually drinking). I am feeling sad and longing to nurse. I know he will be fine and I am glad that our weaning was peaceful, but it's still hard. He is our fourth and last babe. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I feel for you, mamas!
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#4 of 4 Old 09-07-2010, 06:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Such good timing to see your posts today! I'm sorry that we are all going through this, but I really needed some people who understood. It seems like everyone I tell just says "yay!" or "congrats!" or "that's great!" They don't get it! And the other thing I'm getting sick of hearing, when I respond that actually, I feel kind of sad about it is "oh, well, at least you will be nursing again in a few months." Ouch. That's not the point! I'm not sad about not nursing in general, its about that nursing relationship with DS not being there anymore. It's a lot harder than I expected.

I know it's a good, natural thing that has happened. And he has been very snuggly lately, which is actually kind of nice, snuggling without him whining for milk too. But it's still different, and I still feel sad about it.

It's just the first of many "he's growing up" moments I'm sure. I'm just trying to let myself greive the end of this stage so I can be open to and look foward to the next one.
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