Nursing 2.5yr old- not a clue what I'm supposed to do - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 09-25-2010, 06:38 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi Everyone,
Most days especially when I am pms'ing I am feelng very over nursing my sweet son. We are down to about 3 times a day, wakeup (this is the one-time that is most often skipped), before nap and before bed. Also if he wakes up to go to the bathroom he will often ask for milk and has just a bit and then goes to sleep.
I don't know anyone in real life who has nursed this long and feel I don't have anyone to ask advice or to help me with how often and when it's ok to refuse.
He usually nurses both sides and then wants to go back and forth, I don't really enjoy all this nursing at this point, I had hoped we would be done around 2. I give him a countdown and something to look forward to which sometimes works and sometimes he will just bawl. I usually say, ok pop off in 5, 4, 3, 2 and (he will usually pop off before one and say cuddle me!) and then say ok, cuddle time.
Sorry this is getting long. I don't want to be inconsiderate or mess with him emotionally, is there a right way to refuse when i am not in the mood to nurse (other side, other side, other side), is it wrong to let him know that sometimes I just don't feel like nursing anymore?
If I just talk to him about not drinking Momma Milk anymore and tell him he can have (soy, almond, hemp) milk instead and momma can always cuddle with him when he needs me to be close- can I wean him completely? Am I going to break his heart completely or ruin our relationship if I do it this way?
I so want to be done, I just feel like 2-1/2 years is enough. My goal was 2 years because of the WHO guidelines but I really didn't have any clue what would happen after that, I made it this far and feel good about that and will try for two years with any future children.
Anyone had similar feelings and wean when they were ready and not when lo was ready- around this age? I do feel that nursing has been just as healthy for his physical needs as it has been for his emotional needs and don't want to have regrets- any advice is appreciated.
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#2 of 4 Old 09-26-2010, 06:40 AM
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Breastfeeding a child is different from a baby or toddler, you've done a great job - 2.5 years is more than the majority of women in modern society, so congratulate yourself for that. When it comes to how to handle the nursing sessions now, can you reduce slowly? - which personally I prefer to; today you can nurse and tomorrow you can't; give yourself and your child a timescale - ie in so many days we'll only nurse when the alarm goes off and for a set amount of minutes, mark it down on the calendar with your son, negotiate it through with him - ask him if he thinks it may work - you'd be surprised at the opinion he may have, give as many cuddles as you can, then you both know that you have a pact and it'll be less stressful for you both. I know that that this can work for some mothers and would suggest that this may be the route for you to go down rather than going cold turkey.

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#3 of 4 Old 09-26-2010, 09:04 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks ewe+lamb, that sounds doable. I have spoken with him about it, only recently does he seem receptive to it at all, usually he says he is going to nurse forever and a long day. I'll keep negotiating.
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#4 of 4 Old 09-28-2010, 06:59 PM
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Also a mom of a 2.5 yo and I don't enjoy it. The "switch side" thing over and over... no can do. I allow once on each side, and then we're done. I try to have him do it "hands free" because I can almost stand it except for the constant touching, scratching, squeezing, stroking... aaarrrgh! But that's so instinctive to nursing so it's really hard for him to not use his hands.

Someone else on mdc mentioned the rhyme she uses for ending things, and my son loves to be the one to say it: "From 5 to 1, and then we're done, 5 -4 -3- 2- 1- all done!" So when it's time to take a break, I say "Who's going to do the 5 to 1? Me or you?" And, still nursing, he'll tap his own chest, then unlatch and do the rhyme.

Anyway, just wanted to say we are in a similar place, and it's not easy. I'm not weaning yet mostly because I feel completely inadequate to soothing his biggest tantrums without milk, and I can't bear having to work harder for a nap, but I think of it e.v.e.r.y. day. So we must be getting close.

Mom of one child (2008), wife of one husband, tender of dogs, cats and chickens. Household interests: ocean life (kid), bitcoins (husband), simplifying (me).

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