Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: On a commune in Virginia
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Okay, here's an update for LROM et al -
DH/DP was on board from the beginning when I said I just didn't feel like I was being a good mom when DD wanted to nurse in the middle of the night. I often felt like I was going to say something hurtful or use an angry tone with her - or god forbid worse - and the feelings were pretty stressful, and I knew it was time to take care of myself so I could be a better mom. So he was okay with it right from the start.
As far as being worried about how others would feel about the noise, we've just kept communication open with our housemates here in community. Luckily, the most noise sensitive people on our hall are also DD's biggest fans (and her godparents), so if and when they hear her screaming, they feel compassion. DD's room abuts mine on one side and on the other side a fellow who's hardly ever home. So it hasn't been much of an issue.
The first several nights were definitely hard but we've been seeing steady progress, so it continues to make sense to move forward. So we're still nursing to sleep, though when I can (like last night), I delatch her before she actually falls asleep and rub her back till she drifts off. We've developed this mantra (I think I said this in an earlier post) where I just list everyone who takes care of her and loves her, and talk about how those people are either going to sleep or are asleep. "Grandma is asleep. Grandpa is asleep. Auntie is asleep. Jessie is asleep." etc. Sometimes I ask her to help me remember who's asleep, and this usually works very well to put her back to bed.
She's not sleeping for more than 5 hours yet, but I hear her wake up on the monitor and put herself back to sleep - that also happened last night. She went down around 8:30, woke up a little before 11 and settled herself down. Then she woke again around midnight. After that, out till 4:30 and then out again until 6:30 when I nursed her.
The hardest time of the night has definitely been 4:30 - light. Especially if she doesn't wake until 5:30. Then I feel very conflicted. Nurse her since it's so close to morning and I suspect she's actually hungry, or be consistent about no nana till it's light out? This has been the time of the most screaming.
The last thing is the EC part. Now I try to get her to pee as close to sleep time as possible. Then when she wakes up the first time, whenever it is, we pee again before going back to sleep. Then she's fine till morning. I'm still not sure about doing it this way. On the one hand I think that an empty bladder will help her go back to sleep quicker and stay asleep longer. On the other hand I don't want to be teaching her that she has to wake up to pee at some point in the middle of the night, if she can hold it till morning and sleep through the urge to pee. But I also don't want to start using night diapers or having her wet the bed if we don't have to, since it would feel like moving backwards.
So that is the update. Mostly, it's better every night, and she often doesn't even ask for nana when she wakes anymore. So...slow but steady progress! yay!