almost 3 yo nursing ALL. THE. TIME. - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-26-2011, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ds will be three in may- lately it seems that he is nursing ALL THE TIME and it is driving me completely nuts!!! making my skin crawl and just tiring me out!!! to be honest, i am pretty much over it, i thought we would clw, but i don't think i can take it much longer. I haven't made any honest attempts at weaning for a couple reasons... 1. he still obviously enjoys it and seems to need it. 2. whenever i restrict milk, he FREAKS!!! and it seems really overwhelming to wean!!

I am wondering what is driving the need to nurse like a newborn- also it is concerning me because he really isn't eating much food, i would like him to eat more- there was a time that he seemed to enjoy eating and was very adventurous- but not anymore- he's just ALL ABOUT MILK and it sort of makes me want to rip my hair out!!!

 

HELP!

 

thanks


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Old 02-26-2011, 01:19 PM
 
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My son wanted to nurse all the time, too although I weaned him around 2. In retrospect I didn't do a good job of developing his coping skills. He also needs a lot of structure which I was bad at providing and we kind of got stuck nursing a lot of the time b/c I wasn't really taking the lead in planning our day well. These things may not apply to you at all of course!

With my second I did a much better job of managing our day, setting limits from the start etc. I never let nursing be her 'everything' the way I did with DS b/c it drove me mad. Live and learn!

Anyway if you want to continue I say set limits and stick with them. The tantrums will pass. Remain calm and reassuring but respectful of your body's limits. Best of luck!

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

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Old 02-27-2011, 11:28 AM
 
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I was actually just coming here to make an almost-identical post!  I don't have any advice, since I'm in a similar boat, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone!

 

DD1 will be 3 in April.  She has always been all about nursing.  As a baby, she couldn't even sleep unless she was comfort sucking the entire time.  It's always been exhausting for me, but she obviously enjoys it so much that I've never been able to deny her. During my pregnancy with DD2 (who was born in Sept, when DD1 was 2.5 yrs old), she gradually decreased to 4 nursing sessions per day and I thought she was on her way to weaning.  Then DD2 was born and she suddenly wanted to nurse all.the.time again.  Seriously, she nurses way more than my exclusively-BF DD2, and she refuses to eat.  First thing when she wakes up, she does a 90-minute nursing session (while my tandem infant only takes 15 min), then it's a 2-hour long battle to get her to eat just a bit or two of anything, then she goes back to asking to nurse all the way until her nap, then when she wakes up it's a repeat of the morning routine.  I always let her nurse when DD2 nurses so there is no jealousy (and they both love that bond), but she insists on nursing 2-3 times between each of DD2's feedings!  It's getting ridiculous.  Between the two kids (but mostly because of DD1), I'm stuck sitting down nursing almost all day, then my co-sleeping DD2 nurses throughout the night.  I love tandem nursing and extended nursing, but this round-the-clock feeding of 2 kids makes me feel like I exist just to BF.

 

I've tried distracting DD1 but she has a single-track mind.  She does know we don't nurse outside the house or when company is over (I was good about setting those boundaries after she was 18 months), so she rarely asks.  But when we're at home, especially now that we're buried in snow and stuck indoors, she is very demanding and feels rejected when I gently refuse or try to redirect.  I thought that maybe she just wanted affection or attention and was using nursing as an excuse, but that doesn't seem to be the case.  Extra cuddles, playtime, etc. just aren't a sufficient replacement for her.  :(  She doesn't tantrum when she isn't able to nurse; she acts rejected (and it seems genuine as opposed to manipulative) and says she's sad.  It breaks my heart.

 

She's very intelligent, so I've tried explaining that she is old enough to eat food more than nurse, but she's having none of that.  (The "big girl" talks aren't getting us anywhere with potty training, either.  A related issue, perhaps?  She just seems so resistant to any changes that come with getting older!)

 

Our pediatrician is very pro-extended BFing and keeps encouraging me to continue letting her nurse on demand, saying that she's still thriving in all developmental aspects, it's helped her bond so well with her sister, and by the time she's school-aged, she'll eventually realize that other kids her age don't nurse and stop on her own.  Yay, so only 3 more years of this to look forward to?

 

I certainly don't want to force her to wean if she's not ready, but I sure wouldn't mind if she cut back a bit and ate more food.  She is a VERY picky eater, though, so I guess it's better that she gets her nutrition from breastmilk than not at all.  It's just so draining for me and so hard to get anything done.  She's still nursing as I type, and has been for the past 90 minutes, sigh... 

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Old 03-06-2011, 10:39 PM
 
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My son turned 3 in Jan, and i swear it was like a switch flipped on his birthday.  He has always been obsessed with the booby and nursed to fall asleep and frequently throughout the day.  He was also very attached to me in general...FREAKING out whenever I was leaving him with someone else.  Right around his birthday, everything changed.  I left him with a babysitter and he could barely take the time to come say bye to me and didn't seem to care at all that I was leaving.  He still nurses to sleep, but only rarely asks for it during the day, and accepts it when I say that he can have dootdies (his word for booby) when we lay down for bed.

 

So, there is hope...Good luck!


Laura (26)intactlact.gif DH (39)jammin.gifdrum.gif, DS (Jan 2008)
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Old 03-07-2011, 05:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellisianda View Post

Our pediatrician is very pro-extended BFing and keeps encouraging me to continue letting her nurse on demand, saying that she's still thriving in all developmental aspects, it's helped her bond so well with her sister, and by the time she's school-aged, she'll eventually realize that other kids her age don't nurse and stop on her own.  Yay, so only 3 more years of this to look forward to?

 


Lol smile.gif

 


NICOLE | Natural livin', co-sleepin', mostly vegan, work at home mama to N (7) and L (2)
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Old 03-08-2011, 11:25 PM
 
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While I don't have as much experience as some of you ladies (my daughter is 15 months), from my understanding, changes in life, even minor ones, can make kids revert back to what comforts them.  Nursing is comforting.  If there are any stressors or changes in your son's life, this could cause him to want to nurse more.  but also, trying to wean can be the very change that stresses him and makes him want to nurse more.

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