Do people ever ask you when you are going to stop? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-16-2011, 10:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd is only 12 months old and so many people including relatives and friends have "reminded" me that she is one now and can have cows milk. My plan is to let her wean herself which wont be anytime soon since 90 percent of her calories are still breast milk. Do you have people acting like its odd that you still nurse? What do you say to them?

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Old 05-16-2011, 10:07 PM
 
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Well, at first (around 12 months) people would ask.  Now at almost 3, people don't even talk to me about it.  I kinda went off when DD2 was born and EVERYONE was telling me I needed to wean, so it kinda ended there.  


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Old 05-16-2011, 11:08 PM
 
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I get surprised reactions if it's mentioned that I'm still nursing DD (turning two tomorrow), but it's mostly because I'm tandem nursing. the general public doesn't know that nursing through pregnancy is a possibility. 


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Old 05-17-2011, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I nurse dd in public any time she wants it. Several months ago I was in Boarders (bookstore) and the only place to nurse was on a bench near the bathroom. A lady walked by and said "you should really be doing that IN the bathroom"

dhs step grandma gave us a bottle warmer for Christmas when dd was 6 months and said I should be giving her bottles by now. 

My friend who doesnt have kids asked me to please not nurse around her because it makes her uncomfortable, especially now that my dd is "old enough" to have cows milk. 

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Old 05-17-2011, 01:31 PM
 
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If people really want to know why I chose to nurse past a year, I would tell them about the many benefits of nursing past a year.  Or if I felt like they were being rude by asking "Are you STILL nursing??"  I would respond, "No.  I stopped nursing about 25 years ago."  Haha!


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Old 05-18-2011, 05:17 PM
 
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I find that for people who are going to ask/wonder/be weirded out, the simple fact that the medical establishment reccommends nursing until 2yo was a very simple response back at 1yo. 

 

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Old 05-19-2011, 02:57 PM
 
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When people started asking me (I think when the twins were 8-9 months old) how long I'd nurse I usually answer "oh probably til they're two or so" just to get them off my back.  Now they're almost 18 months old and my mom alwaaaays says "they're coming up on 2, almost time to be through with your milk".  Why don't people understand that this is the best thing for them?!?


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Old 05-21-2011, 03:34 PM
 
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My son is almost 23 months and people don't ask much anymore. I think since I'm 14 weeks pregnant and he's super independent, they don't even consider that I could be nursing ~4 times a day. I printed the Kellymom.com fact sheet (http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html) about breastfeeding toddlers and kept it in my diaper bag, just in case, after a bad experience with a health professional telling me it was "time to switch him over to cow's milk, it has the fat they need to grow".

 

I've never needed to use it, but I'm glad I have it there. If someone ever expressed surprise or disgust that I was "still" nursing him, I would try to be polite and say "So many people aren't aware of all the benefits of nursing that continue past the age of 12 months. I have some information I'd like to you read so you can understand it better. It's only 1 page. Here." while handing them the paper.


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Old 05-21-2011, 08:09 PM
 
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I had this a lot with my twins.  What I said depended on who I was talking to, and what exactly they said.  Usually just a very surprised, "Of course we're still nursing!"  If someone seemed truly interested, especially if they said something along the lines of thinking you could only bf for a certain length of time, I'd share more information.  If it was someone I spent a lot of time with (friends or close relatives), then I also tried to give more information.  And if they really bugged me, I had my ready-to-go somewhat funny, somewhat shocking, "Well, worst comes to worst, they can go to (the local university) and live at home so they can still nurse."  That would usually stop the conversation.  I only used that once or twice.  Some other answers I've heard and liked, "The pediatrician recommends we continue nursing" (Drs. Sears, Jay Gordon, Jack Neufeld all recommend bf longterm. . . doesn't have to necessarily be your pediatrician) and "We're working on weaning" (because of course you are as soon as you start solids, you're just on the multi-year weaning plan).

 

I remember my mom (who nursed me and is incredibly supportive, so I have no idea where it came from) saying that she wouldn't go out in public with us if we were still nursing when they turned 2.  By the time 2 arrived, she insisted that she'd never said that.  So people change their minds and educating them does make a difference.

 

By the time they were 2, we almost never heard these sorts of comments, and they still nursed frequently.  Now I'm nursing DD2, who's 2 1/2, and I haven't heard any comments of the sort.  It makes a difference to be part of a "tribe" where nursing for years is the norm.  Last night I was sitting by a hotel hot tub with family friends who are visiting from out of state.  3 moms, a 12 month old, 22 month old, and my 2 1/2 year old (plus a handful of assorted older siblings) and all the little ones were nursing.  And DD2's best friends are two other nursing 2-year olds and two nursing 3-year olds, so we're in good company.  Wonderful!


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Old 05-23-2011, 02:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CheriK View Post

 "We're working on weaning" (because of course you are as soon as you start solids, you're just on the multi-year weaning plan).

 

 


Haha. I like "we're on a multi-year weaning plan" as a semi-sarcastic-funny response if one is needed.

 


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