I want to wean my 15 month old. She's been fed on demand all along, and I'm trying to institute a schedule so I can start dropping a feeding at a time but she's rejecting that too and throwing tantrums to nurse. I could deal with it if she didn't want to nurse ALL THE TIME, for short periods of time, and expect me to just keep the boob out for her to sip on (she freaks out when I put it away even if she's totally distracted and had stopped nursing!). The tantrums are really aggressive (grabbing, pinching, scratching, trying to get into my shirt, screaming, etc.) And, she's started scraping me with her teeth now that she suddenly got a bunch of teeth at once and i think the sippy cups are giving her some weid nipple confusion. I'm so done. I can't take much more. I need to ween before bfing causes serious resentment on my end, but I want to do it without traumatizing dd and seriously hurting our relationship. Moms who've been through this, please give me any advice you've got! (and please don't try to talk me into continueing to nurse. I'm done. Seriously. It's better for me all around and better for her if I don't resent her over it, which is already starting to happen tbh.)
Sounds like the problem has more to do with setting limits than breastfeeding. I would continue with setting limits and creating a schedule. Accept that tantrums happen and let them work their course. If she is being aggressive, walk away, literally. When she is again calm, talk with her about it. I am all for "time-ins" but I will NOT allow myself to be physically abused.
Breastfeeding is a relationship and you do have the right to feel good about things. Expect about a week of bad days before she accepts the new schedule of nursing, then go from there. You may find that you no longer need to wean to be happy, but dropping one feeding at a time gives you the option of stopping when you're happy.
I think that's a good plan. That's what I did with both of mine. Just deal with the tantrums the way you would any other time. If you stick to your schedule without deviating for a few days they should abate. (or have you tried that already?)
Really firm, upbeat. "We'll nurse at ____ (whatever time) but now we can (list of options they have)".
DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).