Weaning my 14 month old during weekend with Grandparents? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 09-26-2011, 11:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been thinking about weaning my daughter soon and this weekend her grandparents offered to take her for a weekend trip to her aunts. 

 

She has had overnights with her grandparents several times now, however a 2-3 day adventure would be a bit longer for her than usual.  I have some reservations about her being away so long, however, I see this as an opportunity to wean, spend time with out of town family/cousins and grandparents.

 

My personal parenting philosophy is mostly in line with Attachment Parenting.  However, where I differ a bit is in the fact that I believe they should have multiple attachments.  I feel that as long as others, whom she has developed a relationship with, are continuing that philosophy, she will still continue to be a well-adjusted, secure child; I do not necessarily feel that I am solely responsible for providing this security.

 

Thank you for your input.

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#2 of 11 Old 09-26-2011, 03:37 PM
 
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I'd worry about weaning before the winter and flu season. Is there any particulae reason you want to wean before 2 years old?

 

sorry so short - nak!

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#3 of 11 Old 09-26-2011, 03:46 PM
 
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14 months seems young to wean to me also.

 

Other than that my main concern would be that no-one would get much sleep on the weekend making it not very much fun for anyone. But that is coming from the perspective of someone whose 16 mo still feeds to sleep and feeds several times overnight.

 

 


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#4 of 11 Old 09-26-2011, 04:42 PM
 
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How often does she currently nurse? If she still nurses a lot, I would think a weaning weekend would be a bad idea for both of you. You could face engorgement, mastitis, and she will likely have a rough time as well.

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#5 of 11 Old 09-26-2011, 05:08 PM
 
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I think that if you're planning to wean her, it would make more sense to gradually reduce the amount she nurses, with the goal of her weaning at least a few days before the trip (longer if possible) so she's not dealing with too many adjustments all at the same time.

But I agree that 14mo seems young to wean... how often is she nursing now?

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#6 of 11 Old 09-26-2011, 05:36 PM
 
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My mom raised under the same philosophy as  you described. Now as adult, I really wish to had the strong attachment with my mom.... I really wish that my mother had that strong attachment with me as baby. I end up not to having the strong attachment with other family members anyway, because I feels was not what I need it back then. My mom went back to my to had somehow that she missed in my infancy and toodlerhood when I was in my twenties.  Sadly was to late for me!.


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#7 of 11 Old 09-26-2011, 06:09 PM
 
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Fourteen months is too early to wean in the absence of serious medical issues (mother needs chemo, etc.).  Forced weaning borught about by abrupt separation is cruel.

A baby NEEDS one attachment at that age, preferably the mother.

A baby benefits greatly from an attachment to the father.

Attachments to other family members are good and healthy, but at this age are not necessary. 


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#8 of 11 Old 09-28-2011, 05:30 AM
 
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Is she already very close to weaning/nursing very little? Do you think she'd be happy & secure away from home for 3 days?

 

If the answer to both questions is yes, I'd go for it. If it's no to either or both, I wouldn't.

 

ETA: The OP wasn't asking whether or not she should wean, simply whether this was a good way to do it. The "don't wean her yet!" comments are unhelpful.


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#9 of 11 Old 09-28-2011, 06:12 AM
 
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OP, I don't think it'll work. My 18 month old is down to nursing maybe once or twice a day, and has gone a day, night and day without nursing completely of her own volition, but I doubt that a weekend without nursing would be enough to wean entirely. The weekend trip might be enough to start the process, but you'll have to do some of it too. I'd either have started cutting back a  few weeks before the trip and used the time away to cement the weaning or use the trip to break the old routine and when she comes back, start her on a reduced nursing schedule (morning and bedtime, or whatever) that works for you and work on weaning from there. 

 

That said, my 14 month old was in no way ready to wean OR stay overnight with her grandparents (we live a few hours away from them and she was deep in the midst of separation anxiety at that age) so you're really lucky that your dd has a strong enough relationship with them to be comfortable with that kind of trip. My dd probably won't be ready for that for another few months. 

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#10 of 11 Old 09-29-2011, 04:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by isabchi View Post

My mom raised under the same philosophy as  you described. Now as adult, I really wish to had the strong attachment with my mom.... I really wish that my mother had that strong attachment with me as baby. I end up not to having the strong attachment with other family members anyway, because I feels was not what I need it back then. My mom went back to my to had somehow that she missed in my infancy and toodlerhood when I was in my twenties.  Sadly was to late for me!.


No offense, but I think that's a bit of a heavy-handed guilt trip response to the OP. Disagree with her? Fine. But all this essentially hinting that if one specific version of AP isn't followed, a life-long damage to the mother-child bond may be at stake is a bit much, IMO.

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#11 of 11 Old 09-29-2011, 06:08 PM
 
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I'm not sure a weekend away would cause weaning. Didn't for my kids at that age.

 


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