I think we're weaning! :'( - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 3 Old 07-18-2012, 02:20 AM - Thread Starter
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DD2 is 25.5months.  


She was SUCH a boobybaby.  I can remember at a year old someone asked me if she still nursed much and i remember thinking she pees 8 times a day and takes NO fluids except from me and whatever is in her food...even at 18months she was still nursing 4-10 times a day given the chance.


I'm 15 weeks pregnant (and hormonal which isn't helping).  My milk disappeared about 3-4 weeks ago.  Initially, when my supply first began to drop, she wanted to nurse 6 times a day and ALL. NIGHT. LONG to try to bump my supply back up, but my nipples were killing me, and i was feeling so nauseous when she nursed, and so exhausted when my sore nipples kept me awake through night-nursing, that i night-weaned her, which actually went fine.  


Then after a few days of only 2 feeds requested in a day, i decided to cut her back to a bedtime feed only a few days after she turned 2.


The first day or two were hard on us, lots of tears, cuddles and time reading books together to have some closeness, but then by the 3rd day she stopped asking and seemed happy enough to have a cuddle instead.  She began sleeping in with us more often (she's in a bottom bunk with her big sister in the top, but we leave the doors open so any and all of them can pile in with us if they need to at night - she'd been mostly sleeping in her own bed from when i stopped the night feeds), but then within a week she suddenly began sleeping much better again.  She suddenly began being bolder too, venturing away from me more and her bond with her daddy, which was always strong, is just growing and growing (which is beautiful to see).


Two nights ago she asked to nurse and i lay down with her.  She sucked for 4 seconds then said "no milks" and then, joyous, "daddy bedtime!" and rolled over me to go bring her favourite books to daddy and get put to bed.  The next morning she got up at 4am and wanted to nurse so i nursed her, but again, after a moment or two she mumbled "s no milks" then cuddled into her daddy and went to sleep.


Last night she didn't want to nurse at all.


I feel so sad, so pleased, so proud of her, so...i don't know, conflicted.  If you'd asked me 6 months ago i would have told you she'd not care about the milk, she'd dry nurse through a whole pregnancy if she needed to.  But i was wrong.  I planned to let her go on with her 1 feed as long as she wanted, but i didn't anticipate that she'd stop wanting to only a month later.  She seems so small still!  I had to wean her sister at 7 months because of a thyroid problem i was having, and i felt terrible regret for years after.  I imagined making it to 2 years (my goal with DD2) would mean i felt peaceful when weaning happened, but i feel just as unsure and sad in some ways as i did with DD1.


I was planning on tandem feeding, though keeping her if possible to one feed a day, and to be honest i hadn't really WANTED to tandem feed, i just hadn't wanted to force weaning either.  I feel a bit glad to think i probably won't be tandem feeding.  But then i feel guilty for feeling glad.  She is so attached to her daddy, and to her big sister (the two of them are rolling about semi-clothed cuddling on blankets as i type this), and i KNOW it's wonderful for her to be finding this place within the larger context of our family, especially as come January she's going to be a middle child instead of the baby, but i still feel like it's tearing a bandaid off my heart to see her loosening her grip on Mama.


Sorry this has been a big ramble.  I don't want to stop her weaning, but i feel sad knowing this is the end of something that has been so special, so bonding and sustaining, for BOTH of us.  I've tried talking to people about it IRL, but all i get is "weaning? 'Bout time!".  No one gets it.  No one gets that i think it's a good thing, or the right thing for her just now, but that i'm still really sad to say goodbye to this phase of our "us".

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#2 of 3 Old 07-23-2012, 01:39 PM
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Hugs! It's a hard thing to say goodbye to! Our first weaned just past 2.5 when I was about 5 months pregnant with our second and that one bothered me a bunch because I felt like she was weaning due to me being pregnant.


Our second weaned just before 2.5 and it was all on her own accord and I was so much better with it because I knew it was her choice exclusively. Plus while she liked her nursies it was never as strong as her sister's attachment. 


It's totally ok to mourn this and I'm sorry people IRL aren't being more supportive. Just wanted to throw some support your way!

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#3 of 3 Old 07-24-2012, 01:35 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks so much delightedbutterfly!


We have indeed weaned, she's not nursed since last week.  She's asked a few times but when i offer (on request) she just snuggles the boob then runs off the play, she never tries to latch.  She sometimes comes in with us in the later early hours (about 5am) and likes to cuddle up to the breasts in bed, but again, she never tries to latch she just seems to like laying there against them.


Times they are a changin'!


Now the initial sadness of her decision to stop is wearing off a little i am a bit excited to be seeing her entering this new phase of toddlerhood, as she works towards little-kid-ness.  I have to admit though, there have been a few toddler tantrum moments when i've wished she would nurse because she doesn't like to be held through them and it's so hard to help her/watch her so upset.  Oh well, we all have to learn to regulate ourselves without nursing eventually, i suppose this is just the beginning of that road for her.

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