MIL threw a blanket over me while I was nursing DD - what would you have done? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 12-12-2012, 12:57 PM - Thread Starter
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I have been thinking about this ever since it happened the Saturday after Thanksgiving. DH and I and our two DDs were at my MIL's for Thanksgiving and since DD2's second birthday was the day after Thanksgiving we decided to go to the zoo. Exhausted from the trip, we decided to stay over till Saturday morning. MIL was not feeling well, so I feel a bit conflicted about her reaction to what happened that morning - and to my reaction - while my DH was putting the luggage in the car. I was sitting on the couch nursing DD2 - who has been for some reason (2-year molars maybe?) in the habit of switching between sides. I had a nursing top on and since she was doing the switching between sides thing, both sides were uncovered. My MIL, who was worn out from Thanksgiving and having to work Friday, and wasn't feeling well, was trying to get the living room straightened up. My SIL had put some cups on a small table and was trying to help her mom to move the coffee table back to the living room (we'd slept in there on an air bed), and the tablecloth caught, knocked over the small table, and then cups, and my MIL overreacted. She saw me sitting there on the couch, and grabbed a blanket and ran over and threw it on the side DD2 was not nursing, and said in a loud, irritated voice, "Will you cover up!" I was stunned, and didn't know what to say. It wasn't like I was trying to be immodest, and I didn't know she was uncomfortable with my BFing DD2 in front of her. She'd never said anything about it before when we were at her place or she was at ours, and there were no males around. (I always cover up when there are, except for DH.) When my husband got in, I said we needed to go, right away. We grabbed the rest of our stuff, and the kids, said goodbye, and went to the car. As soon as we were in the car, I told DH what happened and that I never wanted to go to his mom's again. I was so furious! I realize I probably overreacted but I have no idea if/how to talk to his mom about the incident. I mean, what was that about? Was it just because I was uncovered? If she was uncomfortable about my nursing uncovered, she could/should have told me. Is she uncomfortable with my nursing DD2 now that she's a toddler? Ugh. What would you have done/said?

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#2 of 6 Old 12-12-2012, 06:35 PM
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do you have a good relationship usually with her?


from your post, I can sense that maybe, she has always been slightly uncomfortable when you where breastfeeding in front of her, but probably thaught taht it is your and your baby,s right to nurse when needed, so she never commented.

now, she was tired, impatient, maybe other things happened that week-end that added to her irritation, and she just ''lost it'' and said/did something she probably regrets now.

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#3 of 6 Old 12-12-2012, 07:27 PM
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I agree with lilitchka, I also think Holiday stress and exhaustion probably played a role. It appears she was trying to clean, while tired having had company over and this wasn't the only overreaction in the time frame (the SIL cups tablecloth). It could have just been too much all at one time.
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#4 of 6 Old 12-13-2012, 03:39 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks, everyone. I realized I overreacted, but I was also very tired (I'd wanted to leave the night before but my MIL said it was too late to be driving - she lives about an hour away from our home), and I know I should have been more "modest" but I think her reaction was due to her own tiredness. I also should have gone home Friday after the zoo.


Live and learn.


I am not likely anytime soon to stay overnight at her place again, but that's probably for the best. She and I get along okay but we're not chums. This has definitely opened my eyes to some underlying tension and anger I had toward her (I've forgiven her).

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#5 of 6 Old 12-14-2012, 06:18 AM
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I'd have been very upset but I hope I would then understand that it was more about the stresses she was under than anything else.  It does sound like she may be uncomfortable with how you feed but it sounds like you were being perfectly reasonable in what you were doing so it would have been better for her to talk to you about it before it became an issue for her.


Still, what's done is done and I hope that things will improve between you.  A bit of space might really help.  Good luck.

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#6 of 6 Old 12-21-2012, 02:12 PM
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I would have been upset, holiday stress or no, and probably would have reacted the same way. Parenting is hard enough without feeling criticized.
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