Tandem Nursing Stories - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 03-06-2013, 11:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm looking for people's experiences tandem nursing...I am currently nursing my 28 month old and expecting a baby in a couple of months.  DS has been going through so many different phases during this pregnancy, I just have no idea what to expect!! I know each child is a bit different, but I would love to hear about your story! What was hard? What was awesome? What were things you did you help out with the difficulties? How was it at the beginning and how did things change as time went on?

 

I go back and forth between super excited for the experience and totally terrified about whether or not I will be able to handle it.  There was a time when I thought DS may wean during this pregnancy...and then my colostrum came in and his requests are almost incessant now, which I am finding difficult....and that makes me nervous.  He still night nurses and co sleeps, and I have heard that it would probably be good to just keep that the same for now, that if we change things at this point he is likely to regress anyway.  Some nights he sleeps through, or only asks to nurse once for a second, other nights he *needs* to be latched for hours at a time.  I know that he is processing the fact that he will have a younger sibling - he won't talk about it, but I can tell that he's thinking about it (and a bit scared) after well meaning family starts asking if he's "so excited to be a big brother!"  He's not excited, he is terrified! He wakes up at night sometimes talking about it.  I think once the baby comes he will love her, but it's going to be a difficult adjustment for him.  And I have no idea how I am going to handle it!

 

So, if you would, can you tell me your story? The more stories the better, I would love to hear all of the variations good and bad so that I can get a picture of ways that we might handle the transition.

 

Thanks everyone!!! joy.gif


     Mommy to DS born 11-10-10  wave.gifAnd DD born 6-3-13 baby.gif  

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#2 of 14 Old 03-06-2013, 11:53 AM
 
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My son tandemed with my daughter.  During her pegnancy I sometimes had to limit his nursing to 10 seconds a side.  After she was born he nursed a LOT, like a newborn.  He never let up and I eventually had to wean him down to mornings and nights at 4. 

 

I was glad for the experience because it helped the kids' relationships.  I wish I had enforced boundaries earlier, though, so I didn't get burned out.  If I have the opportunity again I will tandem nurse.


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#3 of 14 Old 03-06-2013, 12:21 PM
 
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I tandem nursed for 4.5 years and triandem nursed for 8 months of that (weaning happebed unaturally due to circumstances out of my control, or we'd still be tandeming). I never found it ti be much more than nursing a single child, but I suppose that is because it just works out so naturally. It is really helpful when a new baby is born because engorgement can be avoided, and jealousy from the older child(ren) is generally less to non-existent when they didn't have their "milk" (or whatever you might call it) taken away. When that constant remains it seems to make things go so much smoother.

All that said, I have alway nightweaned during pregnancy so that we could avoid a night nursing conflict (though we continue co-sleeping with the older one).

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

DD (7) ~ DD (4) ~ DS (3)

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Babies in Heaven...angel.gif 9/04 angel.gif 2/05 angel.gif 3/11 angel.gif 4/11 angel.gif 6/11 angel.gif 11/11 angel.gif 2/12 (along with my tube greensad.gif )

 

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#4 of 14 Old 03-06-2013, 12:59 PM
 
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How did you deal with jealousy when nursing three?

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#5 of 14 Old 03-06-2013, 01:36 PM
 
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Subbing! DD will be 28 months in late July when baby is due, nursing for nap, bedtime and at night. I'm a bit worried about naps and how to handle one kiddo being up while the other needs to nurse down. Love reading tandem stories!
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#6 of 14 Old 03-10-2013, 03:11 AM
 
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As with just having a new baby is difficult alone, tandem breastfeeding is too ... especially in the beginning. Right after his baby sister was born, my 2-year-old wanted nothing to do with my boobs. A week or so later after my milk came in good and plenty, he all of a sudden was *literally* nursing like a newborn -- always asking and would get jealous if his sister eating. Now at 5 weeks old, she and her brother are nursing great and it's such a beautiful thing. It's hard saying "No, not yet; gotta wait for sister to feed first" because, as you'll find out, you sometimes don't want to have them feed at the same exact time or you are super touched out from the toddler feeding. I will say: it gets better every day. That's all I can do at this point. Good luck, you'll be great.

Plus, look forward to tandem naps too smile.gif

http://thelaotiancommotion.com/2013/03/06/my-favorite-thing-about-tandem-breastfeeding-isnt-about-breastfeeding/

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#7 of 14 Old 03-10-2013, 07:04 PM
 
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I'd recommend reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing.  Can't remember the author, but it has lots of stories, perspectives, tips, etc

 

My DS was 3 when DD was born.  He nearly weaned during late pregnancy.  If I were doing it again, I think I'd choose to wean then.  However, I was feeling ambiguous, so I didn't.  I think tandem nursing supported my need to feel like I was still there for my first child.  Difficulties were his insisting to nurse right away when DD needed to nurse, and my own growing aversion/physical discomfort (had some of this during pregnancy, but it was easy to deal with and/or reach a compromise).  I didn't love tandem nursing, but I don't think I made a terrible mistake either.  It was just another step in my parenting adventure.

 

I think your child's age has a lot of impact on this decision.  My DS was older and only nursing mornings for a short period of time, although nursing was very important to him.
 

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#8 of 14 Old 03-17-2013, 08:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by blackbird2 View Post

I'd recommend reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing.  Can't remember the author, but it has lots of stories, perspectives, tips, etc

 

 

I tried to find this book a while back, and it appears to be out of print??  My library also didn't have a copy, unfortunetely.

 

I am 33wks with babe #2 and still nursing DS, who is almost 32 months.  It's nice reading stories from other mamas, thanks!  


N, wife to my goofball K partners.gif and mamma to my EC grad D (July 2010) and my new little love S (May 2013).  Exploring the uncharted territory of tandem nursing with my two boys.

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#9 of 14 Old 03-17-2013, 08:57 PM
 
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In my experience there were only two ways to get a copy of Adventures in Tandem Nursing: la leche league and my midwife practice's lending library. No bookstore or library I checked ever heard of it. Good luck!
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#10 of 14 Old 03-18-2013, 07:00 AM
 
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I tried to find this book a while back, and it appears to be out of print??  My library also didn't have a copy, unfortunetely.

 

I am 33wks with babe #2 and still nursing DS, who is almost 32 months.  It's nice reading stories from other mamas, thanks!  

 

When I bought it it as available on Amazon (this was in 2007), but FWIW, I didn't even get halfway through it (skimmed the rest) before I decided to pass it on. (had I known I'd be doing the LLL Leader thing though I would have kept it for that reason)  It would definitely be worth checking FSOT boards here and other places like TheBabyWearer and Diaper Swappers.


Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

DD (7) ~ DD (4) ~ DS (3)

Praying our April 2013 baby sticks!! joy.gif


Babies in Heaven...angel.gif 9/04 angel.gif 2/05 angel.gif 3/11 angel.gif 4/11 angel.gif 6/11 angel.gif 11/11 angel.gif 2/12 (along with my tube greensad.gif )

 

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#11 of 14 Old 03-18-2013, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for sharing your stories!!

 

Amazon does still have Adventures in Tandem Nursing (although it's a little spendy).  I've also found it in my library network, so next time I go in I will ask to have them send it over :)  They also had it at my local LLL, but someone else was reading it.  So there should be copies floating around here and there....

 

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When I bought it it as available on Amazon (this was in 2007), but FWIW, I didn't even get halfway through it (skimmed the rest) before I decided to pass it on. (had I known I'd be doing the LLL Leader thing though I would have kept it for that reason)  It would definitely be worth checking FSOT boards here and other places like TheBabyWearer and Diaper Swappers.


Why did you only get halfway through? Just curious because I tend to find that I "get the point" of many of these books relatively quickly...I still like reading them, but I'm definitely trying to find it on loan rather than purchase it :)


     Mommy to DS born 11-10-10  wave.gifAnd DD born 6-3-13 baby.gif  

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#12 of 14 Old 03-18-2013, 11:57 AM
 
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Thanks for sharing your stories!!

Amazon does still have Adventures in Tandem Nursing (although it's a little spendy).  I've also found it in my library network, so next time I go in I will ask to have them send it over smile.gif  They also had it at my local LLL, but someone else was reading it.  So there should be copies floating around here and there....



Why did you only get halfway through? Just curious because I tend to find that I "get the point" of many of these books relatively quickly...I still like reading them, but I'm definitely trying to find it on loan rather than purchase it smile.gif

I just didn't feel like there was much new information (a lot of it seemed like common sense to me or like things that are pretty obvious) or that there was really anything I would reference at any point, and it seemed to be kind of repetetive in parts. I can definitely see how it is greatly appreciated by many moms, because tandem nursing isn't hugely popular in our society, but for me personally, I just couldn't find that much worth in it for myself.

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

DD (7) ~ DD (4) ~ DS (3)

Praying our April 2013 baby sticks!! joy.gif


Babies in Heaven...angel.gif 9/04 angel.gif 2/05 angel.gif 3/11 angel.gif 4/11 angel.gif 6/11 angel.gif 11/11 angel.gif 2/12 (along with my tube greensad.gif )

 

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#13 of 14 Old 03-18-2013, 11:58 AM
 
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Oh and my point wasn't to just skip the book altogether or anything, just that if a mama CAN'T get her hands on a copy, it may not be a huge deal. smile.gif

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

DD (7) ~ DD (4) ~ DS (3)

Praying our April 2013 baby sticks!! joy.gif


Babies in Heaven...angel.gif 9/04 angel.gif 2/05 angel.gif 3/11 angel.gif 4/11 angel.gif 6/11 angel.gif 11/11 angel.gif 2/12 (along with my tube greensad.gif )

 

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#14 of 14 Old 03-18-2013, 02:28 PM
 
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Yes, I would agree with what is generally being said here.  What I most appreciated about Adventures was the stories.  I really appreciated hearing other mom's stories, perspectives, experiences and decisions - just generally hearing about other people who did it.  But it wasn't something I referenced later on.  So, a nice read if you can find it, but not essential.
 

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