DS is 3.75, libido is still gone -- normal? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 03-19-2013, 07:32 AM - Thread Starter
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So, DS is 3.75 and nurses just a teeny weeny bit -- one side, five minutes, bedtime only.  But my libido is still nonexistent.  Is that normal?

Will it come back as soon as he is totally weaned, or do I need to look into my hormone levels now?

I'm not on any medications or hormonal birth control.

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#2 of 13 Old 03-19-2013, 07:37 AM
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I used to do the same, but as soon as I stopped, it came back completely. Hopefully it will for you too. 

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#3 of 13 Old 04-12-2013, 06:37 AM
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I would look at your hormones. If you are really not nursing that much - it would seem to me that there is more going on. I lost my libido after my first DS (he is almost 5). It never came back and now I have another DD who is 1 and it's still gone. I plan on tacking the issue aggressively when she is done nursing. (I have had my hormone levels tested but by the time I did that I was trying to conceive so opted to wait to address the problem. It sux - its a strain on my marriage. I hope you can figure this out!

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#4 of 13 Old 04-12-2013, 07:07 AM
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My libido came back as soon as my period started again. If yours isn't back after so long, and you aren't nursing much, and I'm assuming you're menstruating again, then I'd go to the doctor and have your thyroid checked and that kind of thing. It's probably something other than breastfeeding at that point.
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#5 of 13 Old 04-12-2013, 02:00 PM
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I guess now I don't feel so bad - DD is 17mos and nada here, huge strain on our marriage and initially I chalked it up to BF, but honestly it wasn't all there pre-baby so I can't say I'm all that surprised.  I'm tackling ISR lessons right now with DD which takes up my extra cash but my plan is once classes end, getting in with our ND for a visit - DD needs a follow up on her food issues anyways and I'm interested to see what she can do to help me out!  Although I have a double whammy - no libido plus my midwife was a little too stitch happy post baby and ain't nuthin' stretching that greensad.gif

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#6 of 13 Old 04-12-2013, 03:25 PM
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Hormones are such hard work at times!!  Definitely look into yours, you can do a fair bit with just food changes - making sure you aren't getting low blood sugar makes a huge difference

Also the thyroid mentioned earlier - making sure that's working well means that your energy levels are more likely to make you more receptive too

Good luck (and go you for having an extended feeding relationship!)

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#7 of 13 Old 04-13-2013, 11:37 AM
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Mine has been gone since about 2008, and I'm still waiting for it to come back! And on top of that my body has taken quite a battering from all my pregnancies, subconsciously affecting my self esteem-  which has not helped the situation. I get to where I start exercising and then I stop after a week or two. (I don't want to seem like I am complaining though because my little ones are worth the world to me.) I have also been told to check my hormones but I never got the chance because now I am pregnant again, but when I get to check them I hope it helps me. I was also told that a lot of people are iodine deficient and it can cause problems in your health. As we know iodine is what helps the thyroid to produce hormones. About 2 weeks ago I started taking liquid iodine every other day so I have not noticed any improvement/difference yet.

Are hormone issues usually the cause for libido problems? Does anyone know?

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#8 of 13 Old 04-13-2013, 01:40 PM
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I had almost the worst of hormonal issues after I had LO. I lost all my pregnancy weight in just a few weeks, but from that point on, I gained very rapidly; 100 pounds in ten months and thirty more by the time it was done about six months after that. I was tired, sluggish, foggy, angry, depressed, and sleepless. I finally had a 24 hour adrenal urine test, the results of which indicated I had Cushing's Disease, BUT my dad urged me to delve further so I paid out of pocket for a 24 hour adrenal SALIVA test. Those results indicated adrenal fatigue, not Cushing's. I also had my thyroid checked and it was terribly low. I've now been taking natural desiccated thyroid for a year, and I use progesterone and pregnenolone to stabilize and aid my adrenal function, along with a clean, grain free diet, and a daily supplement regimen. The tests were simple, but finding a doctor to interpret them correctly was a challenge. I finally consulted my chiropractor and did my own research. I've lost seventy-five pounds and I have fifty-five to go. I'm still nursing my LO and he will be four in May. I got my libido back about three months after I started treating my hormonal imbalances. And you don't have to be morbidly obese as I was to have adrenal fatigue. I have a friend who has struggled for YEARS to gain weight, lower her blood pressure, get her blood sugar balanced, and get some sleep. Turns out, she officially has adrenal fatigue, too (after I told her repeatedly she had all the symptoms LOL).
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#9 of 13 Old 04-13-2013, 07:02 PM
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My libido didn't come back until I got my first moon cycle since becoming pregnant, which for me, was when DS was 2.5. Around that same time my milk dried up and nursing became very uncomfortable. My libido was almost nonexistant, and in the course of a few weeks, it was back at full swing, actually fuller swing I think than it was pre-pregnancy, which was a lot of fun and a huge relief for me and DH. We had basically no sex life for more than 3 years--that was rough, but we got through it. Even if you're nursing just a tiny bit, the nursing hormones are there, and that can change everything. I wouldn't worry about it--it's just the universe's way of telling you to put energies elsewhere right now (and hopefully DH understands!)

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#10 of 13 Old 04-14-2013, 12:07 PM
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This makes total sense to me especially if a person already has adrenal fatigue before getting pregnant. Having a child only makes the situation worsen with the lack of sleep and stress. Not complaining because I too am so happy to be a mom and would give the world for it. I have had libido issues even after weaning, but because of my background in health know that now that I've weaned its time for a good detox (which I start tomorrow Yay!!) and endocrine support. Thank you for your response,

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#11 of 13 Old 04-15-2013, 04:28 PM
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Making absolutely no assumptions about you or your life or family. In my case, my (now ex)husband was treating me very poorly, sometimes abusively, and it drastically affected my libido. It just happened to coincide with having little kids.


I noticed this shift in other families, where things had been fairly egalitarian before kids but become more traditional in gender-role-division-of-labor after, and this seemed to be a source of resentment for some of my friends.


If there are other things that aren't working in a relationship, it can affect desire for sure. I felt it bore mentioning, as I think there can be an attitude of "should" in our culture with regard to sexual activity in a relationship, as if it's some separate thing from the rest of life.

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#12 of 13 Old 04-17-2013, 01:46 PM
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Just a thought, blood flow increases libido, so maybe try some kegels. At least it can't hurt to try!

I totally agree with the PP, sometimes it's the relationship that increases, decreases, or sometimes kills libido

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#13 of 13 Old 04-18-2013, 03:53 PM
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very very common - but no not normal. You should be able to have some positive affect by taking action through your preferred health care. Make sure that you are eating and resting well and check your self esteem, and your relationship. Mine improved after talking to my dh about the fact that he could be a little patronising at times and noone wants to be having sex with their father.

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