Hi all - I'm looking for some advice about moving my son's bed and (possibly) limiting nursing, but I'm very uncertain about it. I originally posted in the toddler forum but then realized this was probably more on topic here. This is the story:
After three years of (mostly) happy co-sleeping, we've decided to move our DS's bed into his own room. He turned 3 last week, and we feel like he is ready (and we are ready too). He's been on his own bed in our room for the past 6 months or so (a transition he enjoyed), and I generally hop between our bed and his bed during the night, since he is still nursing and not sleeping through the night. I'll be honest, I'm getting a little tired of the nursing and the night waking, but not to the point where I would be willing to traumatize my son to end it. At bottom, I am still hoping for a natural, peaceful, loving and mutual end to this beautiful part of our relationship, as opposed to something unilateral by me and crushing to him. While I am willing to wait a little longer to try to get there, I am generally hoping it will happen sooner rather than later.
So my question is this..... Should I move the bed, but otherwise keep our entire routine the same, including nursing to sleep and joining him in his bed when he wakes in the night, so as to make the transition to his new bedroom as pallatable to him as possible? Or .... drumroll.... should I try to combine the move to the new bedroom with a policy of no nursing in the new bedroom (but allow nursing elsewhere)? I envision a situation where I nurse him on the couch in the living room outside his room before bed and when he wakes up in the night, and then go into his bed for sleeping. This is one of the Pantley toddler suggestions....she suggests that they are so tired that they actually won't want to get out of bed to nurse after a while. I have a dedicated little nurser, so I am skeptical, but thought it might be worth a try.
I guess my concern is that if I nurse him in the new room, as convenient as that may be, it will be harder down the road for him to give up his beloved boo boo, since he will have lots of associations with it in his bedroom. But I am also concerned with putting arbitrary and unilateral limitations on our nursing relationship. That's not how I envisioned this unfolding....
My personal opinion would be to combat one at a time either night-wean him first or get him into his own bed at night first before you do the other. Its much gentler for them.
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