Feeling bummed... DH is not supportive of my extended bf efforts. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 01-31-2005, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm feeling kind of sad today because of a discussion DH and I had last night. My DS is almost 14 months and I am still nursing him (of course).

Some background info : I have to take domperidone to have any sort of supply (without it, I had around 1/2 ounce PER DAY), and even with it I only get a few ounces. Initially I had only planned to nurse until around 1 year (I didn't realize that it would become the enjoyable experience that it has).

We got into a discussion about ordering more domperidone and he said he didn't see the point in it. He said around 18 months he figured we should go ahead and wean DS.

I told him I had no intentions of weaning DS (which he seemed OK with, or at least he didn't say anything), and I wanted to wean myself off the domperidone slowly (well, really I just want to keep taking it until he's 2, which I should have just said).

Anyway, he wasn't supportive at all of me spending money to continue nursing.

I'm feeling kind of sad and bummed about it today. I mean, I can go ahead and order the domperidone against his wishes, but I wish I didn't have to! I wish he supported this and understood why it's important to me.

I would love to hear from anyone who has advice or support for me.
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#2 of 11 Old 01-31-2005, 03:20 PM
 
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Do you know why he feels like this? Many people still think that nursing does not have any benefits after 12 months. Maybe he believes this too?

I would try to figure out where his views/ feelings come from and then work from there. www.kellymom.com has lots of good info on nursing beyond infancy and its benefits for child AND mother.

GOOD LUCK! You're doing great!
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#3 of 11 Old 01-31-2005, 05:40 PM
 
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Maybe if he realized that spending a bit now will save more in health costs in the long run, he'd get it.

Kellymom is a great place to get lots of info. Does he know the immune system isn't mature til 6 and that breastfeeding is designed to be supportive of it's development for a major portion of that time?

here's a section from a great LLL article about nursing into toddlerhood with info he may benefit from.

Beyond Toddlerhood: The Breastfeeding Relationship Continues
by Priscilla Young Colletto
http://www.lalecheleague.org/lllead...FebMar98p3.html

The scientific evidence on extended breastfeeding is just now beginning to accumulate. A number of the health benefits are now being found to be related to the length of nursing with an increasing amount of benefit correlating with increased duration. This is the case, research has indicated, with breastfeeding's protective effect in maternal breast cancer, osteoporosis, childhood ear infections and malocclusion anomalies (misaligned teeth).
The word "benefit" is perhaps misleading here, for these "benefits" are what nature intended to be the human norm. Breastfeeding is normal. It is artificial feeding substitutes and premature weaning that are, in fact, abnormal from a biological viewpoint. It is these abnormal practices that place the child at increased risk of illness and compromised intelligence. "
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#4 of 11 Old 01-31-2005, 05:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eternal_grace
Do you know why he feels like this? Many people still think that nursing does not have any benefits after 12 months. Maybe he believes this too?
I've run across people who have said this about weaning at various ages for this reason. I'm always trying to come up w/ analogies for these baseless comments. So here's mine for this one.

Saying breastmilk and breastfeeding has no benefit beyond 12 months (insert age here) is like sayiing fruits and vegetables have no benefit beyond 30.

If your husband will read, there is great info about the benefits of extended nursing on kellymom.com.

Good luck,
Sus

Baby the babies while they're babies so they don't need babying for a lifetime.
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#5 of 11 Old 01-31-2005, 06:09 PM
 
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i'm so sorry! maybe you could explain that breastfeeding still continues to offer benefits beyond one year and that your baby is still less likely to get sick and will be healthier if you keep breastfeeding. maybe you could try acknowledging his feelings and that once he has read about extended breastfeeding, you are willing to continue the discussion.

mandi
ps. mention that the WHO recommends breastfeeding at least for the first 2 years of life and more if both mom and baby want to.

Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

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#6 of 11 Old 01-31-2005, 06:14 PM
 
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Don't forget to mention the drop in cancer rates for women who have nursed *at least* 2 years too, okay?

I am sorry you are not feeling supported in this, though! That must be both frustrating and disappointing.

 

 

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#7 of 11 Old 01-31-2005, 07:24 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you don't have DH's support in this Kay!
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#8 of 11 Old 02-01-2005, 11:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for everyone's great responses! You know, I was reflecting on this last night and I realized, if we only have one DC, then I need to nurse DS for at least two years to take advantage of all of the great advantages to ME of breastfeeding! (breast cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, etc)

So, tonight I am just going to tell them that I'm nursing until two years for, at the very least, THAT reason!

Thanks again.
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#9 of 11 Old 02-01-2005, 04:22 PM
 
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I notice your signature include something about being married to the greatest man in the world. It must be difficult to think that you are married to the greatest man in the world and then disagree on something as important as breastfeeding. He must not have understood all the advantages of breastfeeding beyond a year. I think your plan to wean off domperidone is good and this may help your husband be more supportive.

: Grandmother , 3 Adult Sons

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#10 of 11 Old 02-01-2005, 05:54 PM
 
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Good Luck to you! I hope you dh comes around and realizes the importance of bf for you and your baby. My husband has made comments before about extended nursing, but seems to be coming around. I am always talking about the benefits of nursing. Also, as we both want to be gentle parents picking some arbirtrary date and take away something that has been a source of comfort and nutrition since birth seems very cruel

Happily Married to my : 11 yrs- Mama to wild-eyed monkey boy 7-04, fiery little girl 4-07, and the happy smiley baby that sleeps 11-09!
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#11 of 11 Old 02-01-2005, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans
IIt must be difficult to think that you are married to the greatest man in the world and then disagree on something as important as breastfeeding.
I'm not sure what you're implying, but he IS the greatest man in the world. Just because we don't agree on everything doesn't really detract from that.
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