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#1 of 5 Old 03-14-2005, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
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my dd is going to be 9 months in a few days and i'm hoping to bf until she decides to self wean but as her first birthday nears i worry about people telling me to wean her, i know they think is silly to continue and that shows how ignorant people can be but i just don't want to have to explain myself and what i think and KNOW is best for my baby

how do you ladies handle situations like that?

dh is very supportive of me and what i'm doing because he knows that's the best thing for Samantha but sometimes i worry, what if one day he tells me is time to stop? i have told him my plans and so far so good but his mom thinks 1yr is good enough and i worry she might try telling him stuff
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#2 of 5 Old 03-14-2005, 02:04 PM
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how do you ladies handle situations like that?
Mind your own business, basically… You shouldn’t have to explain yourself regarding something so personal.

I do what is right for my son and myself, and it is not up for debate so I end negative discussions about nursing past whatever age before they even start. I am more than willing to discuss and educate to those who seem open, but it is easy to tell who just wants to be nasty & negative so I don’t even bother giving them the time of day.

I may sound harsh, but I feel it is the only way to deal with those who feel they know better than you when it comes to YOUR child.

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#3 of 5 Old 03-14-2005, 06:58 PM
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I think you'll find that the further you go past her first bday, the less others will bring it up in conversation. Unless I mention it, most people (other than immediate family) probably assume she's weaned. I probably haven't bf much in public since she was about 15-18 mos. old. She just doesn't nurse that often anymore. As far as immediate family goes, when they ask when she's going to wean, I say something like "well, hopefully by the time she goes off to college". And, if your DD is a picky eater, remind DH how DD getting that nutrition from bm takes the stress off any eating issues.
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#4 of 5 Old 03-15-2005, 02:59 AM
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If the commentor is open to listening, I'll tell them that the immune system takes years to mature and that bf supports its development, and that the WHO recommends at least two years of nursing no matter what country you live in. But if it's someone whose opinion I don't give a hoot about, I figure I don't need to respond to them.

If you feel the desire to respond, I do like the suggestion to respond with a beaming smile and say, "oh, yes, we're still nursing and his dr is so pleased, she says it's really great that we've made it so far... and it is reducing my risk of cancer too, and have you heard the new AAP recommendations, blah blah blah" LOL slather on the sweetness and kill'em with kindness. Only the snarkiest grouch could deliver a snide comment after you have gone on about how thrilled you are with the situation!
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#5 of 5 Old 03-15-2005, 02:37 PM
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I would tell your MIL, if she brings it up, "Oh, we don't think she's ready yet." And change the subject.

My PIL (can I call them pills? :LOL ) were nuts about my nursing dd past a year or so - my FIL tried to cover me up on one memorable trip to the zoo! I never mentioned it to them and if they brought it up I was firm. My FIL especially tended to try to distract dd from nursing (he did this at Christmas with then nine month old ds! ) and I just learned to leave the room and shut the door when he did.

If your MIL tries to convince your dh that he should tell you to wean, it's ok for you to be firm with him that this is *your* decision and your baby's, not his. Normalize extended bf if you can - get books like "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" and leave them out, etc.

If worst comes to worst, you can say that it's really not their business. Lather, rinse, repeat... It's not really any of your business!

Can't give up actin' tough, it's all that I'm made of. Can't scrape together quite enough to ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love. ~ Neko Case

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