Hi there, I never have time to post much but I read when I can and have a couple of questions today.
Just a little background: my ds is almost 16 months. During the day he drinks whole milk at daycare. All other times we nurse on cue, which generally includes mornings upon waking, afternoons when we get home from dc, evenings, before bed, and oftentimes in the middle of the night, and then of course whenever on weekends.
I'm wondering if there are times that you ever say no to your dc nursing. I (almost...keep reading) never do to ds. There are times when I distract him long enough to get to a place where we can nurse, but I always nurse him when he wants. But off and on I have a problem when I pick him up at dc. Most days he's happy enough to wait until we get home, but some days (like yesterday) he absolutely wants to nurse and it turns into a nightmare for both of us (him screaming, crying, falling out, me wanting to cry, feeling like I'm failing him, having my heart torn out because I feel like it would be a simple problem to fix--just nurse him--but I don't feel free to do that in the situation).
I do not really feel free to nurse him at dc (it's 5:00, everyone's there to pick up, dcp discourages it), nor do I actually want to nurse him at daycare....I prefer to wait 'til home then we can relax and nurse at our leisure and not have to worry about being rushed, etc.
But am I doing the right thing in saying "no" to him in that situation? My dcp thinks I am, and that he has to learn that "he can't always have what he wants" but to me wanting to nurse is different than wanting something that is innappropriate, where I might deal with a "tantrum" differently. It tears my heart out, though, to hear him scream when I know all he wants is to nurse (and he doesn't understand because this is the only situation I say no to him in).
Am I "giving in" if I nurse him under these circumstances? Am I raising a monster that will eventually fall out and throw a temper tantrum in the supermarket in order to get something he wants because he knows mommy will give in? I don't equate these two situations, but my dcp (and my s.o. sometimes) do, and I feel like I'm fumbling around right now about to make a bad decision because I don't know anyone IRL who thinks about parenting exactly the same way I do, so I really don't know if I'm off the mark here or if I need to stick to my guns and what my gut is telling me, which is to respond to ds's needs, and if needing to nurse before we leave daycare is it, then so be it, I'll fight my battle with my dcp, not him.
This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would.....thanks for reading and I would really appreciate any insight, comments, or personal experience anyone has. Thanks!