want to make it beyond infancy--please help (long) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-16-2005, 01:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hello,
first i just want to say that you ladies have really inspired me--by reading posts in the breastfeeding forum i've decided that i really want to continue breastfeeding past 12 months. (DD is currently 6 months old) but if you would have asked me a year ago, i would have said i would wean for sure at 12 months. right now, however, i'm worried that dd will self-wean by then! i feel like we've got a rocky nursing relationship, and i fear that i'm not doing the right things. if anyone has time, could you please read my story--any advice/support would be greatly appreciated!

first off, we dont co-sleep--unlike many here. and at this point i'm not sure it would even work. i've never nursed lying down--i just cant figure it out--and she sleeps just fine in her crib. of course, i never have and never will let her cry it out--i always go to her when she wakes and nurse her.

she nurses wonderfully during the night (usually), but its during the day that i'm having problems. basically, she wont nurse unless shes asleep--nursing does not settle her down like it used to. to get her to eat, i need to rock her to sleep with her pacifier, then switch to the real thing. this used to only happen occasionally (started about 8 weeks ago), but now its almost every nursing session. if i dont do this, she will go 4-6+ hours without eating during the day. i offer the breast often, and sometimes she'll eat for 2 minutes but then just keeps bobbing off until she refuses entirely. if i give her the pacifier at this time, she goes to sleep no problem. its not like the breast makes her cry--she just wont latch on, would rather play. it seems like a distratiblity thing, but i dont know if i should stop "tricking" her into eating or what.

i took her to the dr, and her weight gain is fine, and she doesnt have ear infections. she recently got some eczema and i've eliminated dairy from my diet to see if thats causing the problems.

we havent started solids--she's not interested. she gets EBM in a bottle from my husband twice a week while i'm at work. she's been taking the bottle with no problems since she was a month old. we also started giving the pacifier at that age because she wanted to suck but was getting frustrated by the milk.

so thats whats going on. i'm so worried that i'm going to fail at breastfeeding...and i really want to continue past 12 months. am i doing the wrong things? is she just in a phase? TIA for any advice!!
~Sarah
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#2 of 7 Old 03-16-2005, 02:00 PM
 
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Have you tried nursing her in a quiet, dark room? It may be that she's too distracted by everything around her and would rather watch the world go by than nurse.

She could also be teething, which might cause her to refuse the breast during the day. Offer her a cold washcloth to chew on, or you could try a homeopathic teething remedy (Hyland's teething tablets, for example).

Babies don't generally self-wean before a year-18 months. You may encounter a nursing strike (which this sounds like), but if you persevere and offer the breast frequently, she will decide she wants to nurse during the day.

Keep in mind, too, that if she nurses a lot during the night, she won't need to nurse quite so much during the day. Lots of babies will do that, especially if Mama works during the day. It's perfectly normal.
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#3 of 7 Old 03-16-2005, 02:08 PM
 
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DD started rejecting the breast during the day around 5 months. At one point she went 8 HOURS (with me there, trying to nurse her the whole time) without nursing. She was very distractable. I remember taking her to a quiet dark room and being like, "Oh, now she will nurse" then some water went through the pipes in the bathroom next door and she was off She nursed almost entirely at night (very, very very frequently) and at a year was in the 12-14+ times daily category. She weaned at 50 months (4 years 2 months) officially.

I would try to cut out the bottles, just in case though. You can go to a cup at this point. If you stick with the bottles make sure you are still using the newborn nipples so she really has to work to get the milk to come out.

Good luck!

Kay

 

 

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#4 of 7 Old 03-16-2005, 02:38 PM
 
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i offer the breast often, and sometimes she'll eat for 2 minutes but then just keeps bobbing off until she refuses entirely. if i give her the pacifier at this time, she goes to sleep no problem. its not like the breast makes her cry--she just wont latch on, would rather play. it seems like a distratiblity thing, but i dont know if i should stop "tricking" her into eating or what.
My DD is only 9mo, and she's my first, so I'm still feeling my way through a lot of this. I just wanted to tell you she does the same thing as you describe above, but I am coming to realize that she is either snacking just enough to keep going, or she is possibly getting more than she used to at a nursing session. My DD is also eating mostly at night right now. I think you are doing a good job offering her the breast and shouldn't beat yourself up about her popping off.

the other thing that works is new and exciting nursing positions: standing up, upside down, etc. now that DD doesn't have to lie down, she sure doesn't want to lie down! good luck to you, you can do it!
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#5 of 7 Old 03-16-2005, 11:35 PM
 
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I just wanted to offer my support as well. My 12 month old went through a phase just like that at about 9-10 months, and I was convinced he'd go on a strike that we wouldn't be able to overcome. Now, he is a tiny bit more interested in nursing during the day when I am home (I WOHM full-time), but only about 2-3 times a day. Its the night feeds that have helped us get this far. He nurses before bed at 6pm, then I go and nurse him before I go to bed at about 1030. He is essentially asleep for this one, but it gets him milk he's too busy to take in the day. He then wakes 1-3 times more between 1030 and 630 or so, and we nurse. I'd keep up those night feeds, and maybe sneak in an extra, if she'll go back to sleep easily. It might help you get through the disinterested times. I have also used the paci-switcheroo technique, and now my son trades back and forth himself between my nipple and his bink. It is a little annoying, and I think I'll not give a binky to my next child. Oh, and we also don't co sleep anymore, but every time he peeps at night, I go in and we nurse. I am more than willing to sacrifice sleep to be able to nurse longer. I hope we make it until he's two, at least.
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#6 of 7 Old 03-17-2005, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks so much for posting, ladies. it helps so much to hear that what i'm experiencing isnt totally abnormal. sometimes one just needs a bit of encouragement! i guess i just have this picture in my head of smooth breastfeeding--its natural, so there should be no problems. but like anything, i guess there are bumps and obstacles....and its so important to have support when you face them. so thanks!!
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#7 of 7 Old 03-17-2005, 06:59 PM
 
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I remember Ds being like that at 6 mos--there was so much he'd rather watch than nurse. it's when the nursing lying down in the quiet bedroom really was the only way. Could anyone show you how to nurse lying down? Do you know anyone IRL? It was a godsend for us, truly, saved our nursing relationship!

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