How do I STOP!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 03-29-2005, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been hating it for the last 3 1/2 months. I don't know how to brainwash myself into liking it, or at least learn to cope with it better.

I nurse a 1.2yo and a 3.4yo. We had our good days and we had our bad days but when DD1 turned 3yo things got worse, A LOT WORSE. She began nursing much more, she started night nursing again and she goes on and on and oooon. I don't have any patience anymore and I don't know what to do. I sometimes try to wait it out and let her nurse as long as she wants but it's like she is never going to stop... so I end up losing my self control and saying 'okay,that's it let's go do something else' ... she gets upset and I end up feeling worse.

I have never thought of weaning her but I think that this situation is more harmful than weaning because she is being rejected. How do I STOP!!! I need to control my impulses with DD1.

How can I mend the damage that I have done to her? Please help, for our nursing relationship's sake.
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#2 of 5 Old 03-29-2005, 08:44 PM
 
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Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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#3 of 5 Old 03-30-2005, 05:59 AM
 
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Have you talked with DD1 about nursing limits? Maybe tell her she can nurse for 5 minutes and then the two of you will color together (or another activity together) or set limits on what time of day she can nurse, etc. Then, it won't be an issue of you being frustrated from her nursing, but about how she needs to be respectful of your "rules" (for lack of a better word right now). You kwim, I'm sure - it's late.
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#4 of 5 Old 03-30-2005, 05:28 PM
 
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There is no way I would still be tandem nursing if I didn't have some limits in place with my older son. He only nurses for nap and bed, and he is 2.5. I am really feeling the need for limits with my 18 mo old as well. there is not a day that goes by that I don't fantasize about weaning cold turkey. I love that I can give them something so nourishing but it has always been physically painful despite talking to multiple LLL leaders and LCs and sometimes I am seriously jealous of the FF moms.

Sorry, that was all about me.

But, I think at 3 your dd can definitely understand limits. For some kids, though, it seems the most compassionate thing is to wean cold turkey cuz some kids don't seem to understand why nursing is ok sometimes and not others. I didn't used to think this way, but after talking to some friends I can see more POV.
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#5 of 5 Old 03-30-2005, 07:50 PM
 
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I agree with setting some boundaries with your oldest. That's how I've weaned my youngest. I just kept changing the boundaries every month or so and eventually he weaned.
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