My toddler is making me crazy (and making me hate nursing).... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-13-2005, 06:33 PM - Thread Starter
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I have a VERY high-needs toddler (she was a very high-needs baby as well!!). She goes through occasional brief periods of being easier, but is generally a really, really tough cookie.

She's 20-months, barely eats any solids, and still nurses 10-15 (or more) times a day. We co-sleep and she also nurses several times at night. What makes me the most crazy is that she's SO happy when I'm not around -- she laughs, plays, even eats a bit! But as soon as she sees me she starts crying, whining, and asking to nurse --- even if it's been 5 minutes since she last nursed and I only left to go to the bathroom. I hate that she's so happy and willing to play with other people and saves all her misery for me!!

She's also very jealous of any attention I give to her older brother -- as soon as he climbs into my lap she starts screaming, crying, and trying to push him off. She does the same thing when my DH comes near me.

I don't understand -- I've always been home with her, I've never left her for any length of time, we co-sleep, nurse on demand, the whole nine-yards. I'm starting to get really angry and resentful of her and I feel like she's totally in charge of my life right now. I'm also just hating nursing her -- and I feel awful for feeling this way!

edited to add: I've tried distraction, getting out, being a 'moving target', etc. nothing works -- all she ever wants to do when she sees me is nurse and all she does is scream/cry until i nurse her. Wait 5 minutes, lather, rinse, repeat!!

Any suggestions or insight would be greatly appreciated!
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#2 of 3 Old 07-14-2005, 11:18 PM
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Ummm...that's because she IS controlling your life. I know, I have one too. I have 18 month old g/g twins and one is high need, the other is calm as can be. we just went through a period where she wanted to nurse all day long and constantly be held. She also has screaming rages when she gets frustrated about something (peas instead of carrots etc.). She even gets mad if she wakes during the night! She's been this way since birth so I know it has to do with her personality, but I'll be so glad when she can talk. :LOL

I've found it helpful to read and reread Dr. Sears' high need baby articles if for no other reason than to remind me of what I have--a high need baby--and know I'm not alone.

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#3 of 3 Old 07-16-2005, 03:55 PM
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i have no good words of wisdom, or helpful advice, but i wanted to send a hug. it sounds like you need it.

maybe you could try to take some time for yourself. lock yourself in the bathroom and take a loooong bath and read a book. i don't know...whatever helps you relax. i know that i'm a calmer more relaxed and easygoing mother when i've had time to myself, or with good friends.

take care of yourself too!

Mama to Butterfly, B(ee), Bug, and Laniecakes

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