I want to wean my 2 year old. Help. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 10-19-2005, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Jasmine is almost 2 1/2 and I'm five months pregnant. My milk supply completely diminished about three months ago and Jasmine still nurses for naps, bed time, once or twice at night, and whenever I happen to be sitting down during the day. I wouldn't mind if she were actually getting milk but she's not. And something about the feeling of nursing her lately is just really irritating. It's an annoying feeling, like I don't want her to be nursing anymore. Or like someone constantly poking you in the same spot over and over again for the fun of it - that kind of annoying. Today, she's only nursed down for her nap so far and hasn't fussed or requested it otherwise. I've been telling her that my nursings are tired and need to rest and also haven't sat down a whole lot to give her a chance. I just am not enjoying nursing anymore. I'm also hesitant about tandem nursing when baby arrives. It was hard for me to build a proper milk supply when Jasmine was born and I'm worried that she would take the milk before baby had a chance and that there wouldn't be enough for the both of them. I know that when my milk comes back in, Jasmine will probably nurse all day again and I'm not cool with that. I want to wean. I can't go cold turkey for the sake of her feelings. But I do want to wean. How????

(FWIW, we also co-sleep but are planning on getting her a bunk bed with big sis for Christmas.)

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#2 of 9 Old 10-19-2005, 07:01 PM
 
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I really don't have any solutions for you, just reassurance that I felt the same way when pregnant with my 2nd daughter. I managed to limit nursing by telling DD1 that the nummies hurt and that she'd have to be quick. She was okay with that, suprisingly, and would just hug my breasts and say, "poor nummies, I hope they feel better real soon" She got down to nursing just once a day, at bedtime, and then just for a few minutes.
I also had supply problems when DD1 was little. When the baby was born, however, I believe that tandem nursing helped build my supply much better than the nipple stimulation of just one baby would have. My milk came in much much sooner than expected, my newborn never even lost any weight! When I was engorged, or if baby were sleeping a little bit longer than usual, I could count on my older child to help me out.
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#3 of 9 Old 10-21-2005, 03:09 AM
 
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I just went through this with my son. I knew I didn't want to tandem nurse so I wanted to wean him by the time I was 6 months pregnant so he wouldn't be asking to nurse once the baby is here. Like you I had very little milk anyway and it was somewhat painful to nurse at that point. What I did was when he would ask for milk I would ask if he would like a drink/snack/treat instead. If he said yes we would go get it and then play for awhile together. If he said no meaning he still wanted the milk I would let him nurse but try to distract him so that he only nursed for a short time. Also, I tried to keep him busy and not see me sitting in our usual nursing spots. Over about 4 weeks he was basically weaned. The nap times and bed times can be a little more challenging but I replaced nursing with reading books, then rocking him and it seemed to work fine. Now he still likes to cuddle and put his face against the skin on my stomach when he is tired. It is very sweet. I know he would not have been ready before this but I think it was the right time for both of us. Good Luck!

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#4 of 9 Old 10-22-2005, 01:12 AM
 
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I am in a similiar situation. My dd will be three in Dec. and I am five months pregnant. In the last two days she has not nursed at all during the day, just at night and then a lot first thing in the morning. She is not getting any milk so it is easier to distract with an actual drink these days. For the first time ever on Wed. she asked to just snuggle with the milk when we were out.
I am trying to figure out how to cut down on the hours of nursing first thing in the morning. Literally she will ask to nurse at 5 am and not get out of bed until 9am and will nurse on and off for the whole time. Today I tried something new. When she ask for more milk, i told her I needed a rest and would count very slowly to ten. If she still wanted to nurse after that then I let her, but a cople of times she was back to sleep by that time. I think I might try to count higher and see if it works.
As for weaning, one thing the helped cut donw on the day time nursing was I told my dd that she could have milk when we got home. And we would stay out a lot. It has changed things, a few weeks ago we were out and she was really tired and crabby. In the past when she got to that point she would ask for milk. That day she had already asked and I had told her when we get home. So when she got to the melt down point she didn't even ask to nurse. It did make me kinda sad since if she had asked i would have nursed her at that point to help her calm down. But it is also good for her to be able to get herself calmed down.
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#5 of 9 Old 10-22-2005, 11:31 AM
 
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My milk supply diminished slowly and then was gone by about month 7. From that point on with my DS I coudn't let him nurse anymore because it really hurt a lot. He was easily distracted during the day with food, other beverages, other activities, hugs, etc. He still really wanted to nurse for naps and bedtime though. For those times I started counting to 10 and then I would have him turn and face the other way and rub his back. Sometimes he would turn back around and I would let him cuddle. In his own words, "I just cuddle the boob". Usually after a few minutes I'd have to turn him around again because he would want to nurse again. Then I'd rub his back or legs, etc, until he fell asleep.

Now DD is 3 weeks old and at first I did let DS nurse a bit. For the first week or two I gave tandeming a try...and it didn't work for us. We are working on day 3 now of no mommy milk after having some for a few weeks and he really seems okay with it and so am I. He does ask for mommy milk at times but he hasn't given major protests and has been fine with other food and drink and cuddles and hugs and kisses, etc. I tell him his sister doesn't have teeth so she can only have mommy milk, that he has teeth and can eat food. It's cute, when his sister cries he says, "Baby needs mommy milk".

 

 
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#6 of 9 Old 10-22-2005, 02:23 PM
 
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Ask yourself if you would be okay tandem nursing. There are many benefits, your milk comes in better. Baby nursing can help start your labor, helps with your postpartum recovery the extra suckling, special bonding... but it can also be an extra challenge to mama!

For weaning....First try offering other things instead of nursing. During the daytime it can be a snack or go for a walk, keep her busy! Don't offer. But don't refuse. At bedtime instead of nursing to sleep start reading stories. The night nursings are always the hardest to wean from. For my toddler I would say "for just a few minutes", when it was time for bed. The nursings started getting shorter and shorter. For waking up in the middle of the night I would have a sippy cup next to the bed and a snack. For many months my son would wake up and eat a PB sandwich or bagle, drink some water or juice. Sometimes I would get up and we would sit in the living room and I would rock him to sleep then carry him back to bed and go to sleep. It takes a little work but it is easier on your kid!

I tandem nursed with my first two. I didn't enjoy it. My older son seemed so demanding and I was worn out nursing all the time it seemed like. It was harder for my oldest to wean seeing his brother nursing all the time, by the time he was 3 he was finally done nursing.

When I was pregnant with my dd I knew I did not want to tandem nurse. So I initiated the weaning well before she would be born. My son was 2 1/2 and we started reading instead of nursing to sleep, he also started sleeping with his big brother instead of me and that helped a ton.

There will be days your child will just want to nurse and no subsitutions will be allowed. Then by all means nurse. But slowly reducing the nursings, eventually they will be ready to be done.

Sometimes it happens before you are ready for it to. With my dd she weaned on her own. She didn't ask to nurse, I didn't offer and it was a week of no nursing and I realized we are done! It was actually really sad because she was ready before I was!!
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#7 of 9 Old 10-24-2005, 12:23 AM
 
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In addition to the other ideas posted, I also had to rely on my husband to put my then 2 year old to bed. He used a bottle of milk and lots of rocking. The morning nursing was the last to go, and I just had to get up earlier -- no more lazy mornings in bed!
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#8 of 9 Old 10-24-2005, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for your ideas so far, and please keep them coming! Since I first posted, I've stopped offering extra day nursings. And she hasn't asked much except for nap and bedtime. She's been waking up in the morning and not wanting to nurse. I'll admit that I've talked to her a little bit about it by telling her that since I'm pregnant, nursing hurts a little and that it's a lot more fun if we just snuggle instead. So she's been very snuggly and I think she understands somewhat. Today was kind of a big milestone, as we were at church for a few hours and she didn't ask to nurse at all. She has nursed everytime we've gone to church since birth and I think it's how she passes the time. But didn't even ask today. I'm proud of her. I haven't refused a nursing if she's been really fussy when she asked. But if she just asks out of the blue and isn't fussy at all, I'll give her some kind of alternative like reading or snack time instead. She'll go for that about half the time. I think we're making huge progress. Especially considering that she seems like the type who just really loves nursing like crazy and would always get really excited about it and never distracted during it.

I'm pretty intent on weaning completely before baby arrives. I nursed Jasmine to sleep a little while ago and she nursed for about ten minutes. The feeling was so agitating, I wanted to scream. It's not that it hurt, it was just really irritating. The feeling is hard to explain. Touched out, maybe? And this was only her third nursing all day long. FWIW, I loved nursing her until the last month or so. I've always enjoyed it in the past but it helped when there was milk.

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#9 of 9 Old 10-25-2005, 11:45 AM
 
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I know some people may not agree with this, but it's an interesting concept. I've heard of people who will rub lemon juice, mustard, or tabasco sauce on their nipples (you can tell your child that the nipple have owies and that you put special medicine on them). While it seems somewhat cruel, it does allow the child to make the choice to stop nursing instead of mama having to keep saying no.
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