At the end of my rope... I need support!!! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 12-29-2005, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Mama's,

Let me just start out by saying that I am commited to continue bf'ing until my dd is ready to wean. I am not going to stop, but I am looking for support and understanding.

I feel like I am at the end of my rope. My dd (21 months) is a nursing machine and it is really starting to wear on me. When we are home (90% of the time) she is CONSTANTLY asking to nurse (me me) I find myself wanting to leave the room because if I am in the same room as her she will throw herself at me and say "me me" over and over and over again. I can't just sit and play with her because she is constantly asking to nurse. I am always trying to offer her milk or water in a cup or I will ask her if she is hungry and say will say "no!" "me me?" She eats three meals a day and has at least 3 or 4 snacks too. I don't think she is actually nursing for nutrition, as much as she is for comfort. When we are out somewhere she rarly askes to nurse and if she is home alone with dh she can go for HOURS and never mention her "me me". She is also constantly latching on all night long. She was latching on so much early yesterday morning that I had to leave the bed so that she would actually get some sound sleep. She sleeps much better without me and sleeps even better if it is just her and dh.

I just feel like I can't take this anymore. I would like to be down to nursing only a few times a day by the time she is two (in March) I want to still nurse as long as she likes but this frequency is just so much and I feel like all I do is nurse nurse nurse!!! My nipples are sore and I am starting to feel sleep deprived. I was so annoyed last night in bed while she nursed for THREE HOURS!!! I just wanted to cry.

Does anyone else ever feel this way? I feel like I have nobody to talk to about this because they just do not understand. I ventured out about this with my best friend and she said "Just stop" "She is almost two, how long are you going to keep this up?" : Honestly even if I wanted to wean her (which I do not) I would have no clue how to even go about it. She is just so demanding of me lately and I am just so overwhelmed.
Thanks,
Amy

Amy praying.gifbfinfant.gifslinggirl.gif familybed2.gif saynovax.gifsewmachine.gif crochetsmilie.gifWAHM to energy.gifElle 3/2/2004, joy.gifMeadow 12/02/2006, bouncy.gifAzaliah 4/09/2009, and baby.gif Olive 09/23/2011. I have been partners.gif married to my husband Bill since 2/22/03.....

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#2 of 10 Old 12-29-2005, 04:22 PM
 
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No great advice, but sympathy a-plenty! I think it comes and goes. Toddler-hood is hard for everyone. How lucky your dd is to have the comfort of nursing!

-Angela
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#3 of 10 Old 12-29-2005, 05:35 PM
 
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My ds1 was impossible at that age too!! Its really really hard, I just starting saying that he had to wait until do-do time to nurse, then he had to wait til after supper/bedtime...I also take in a few other kids so nursing non-stop had to be fixed!! My 1 year old is the same way....Thats the only thing that worked for me, plus I really had to stand my ground I ofcourse let all that go if he was sick though!!

Mom to Ds1 (8 1/2) Ds2 (6) Dd (2 1/2)!!!!
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#4 of 10 Old 12-29-2005, 05:58 PM
 
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dd (13 mos.) and i just had a conversation about how the nee nee's needed a rest so i totally understand. so i would suggest talking to you dd about how the meme (not so much you) need a break or a rest. this can work really well at night because the memes can just go to sleep so they're rested for the morning.
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#5 of 10 Old 12-29-2005, 06:58 PM
 
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It sounds like it may be time to set some limits with the nursing. You don't have to completely wean her in order to get a little space to yourself.

If she's easily distracted when out, but not so much at home, you might want to try to make things more interesting at home. Try to distract her BEFORE she asks to nurse- redirecting a toddler isn't so easy once they decide they want something.

You also might want to try the "in 5 minutes" method. When she asks to nurse, see if you can hold her off for a few minutes- if she still wants to 5 minutes later, you nurse, but maybe she'll forget about it once in a while!

Only you know yourself and your child, and what limits will work best in your situation. It can help to read about what other parents have done to get ideas that you tailor to work with your family.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#6 of 10 Old 12-29-2005, 10:01 PM
 
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i totally understand how you feel! if i get in their play yard (huge one they spend a few hours a day in still and are happy for the most part in-and where i nurse them sitting facing me) they are both on me to nurse, and honestly i want to cuddle adn play with them too, not only nurse them.

they dont' nurse during the night (one does every once in awhile still), and only 6 times or so a day, so i don't feel as if i should be complaining compared to some of you, but every time i get near them it is "nanny! nanny"" from one and my shirt lifted by both. that is why dh goes in the play yard more than i do...he knows they insist if i get near...sigh. they would nurse every hour if they got the chance, but if they are busy and i am not right there sitting with them they only ask when it is the usual time.

the result of all that is just what you said...i want to be near them so badly and play more, but if i get near i am attacked for nanny. i love nursing, but sometimes i just want to do things with them. we both work at home, so luckily he is there to distract them, but it makes me sad sometimes and sort of resentful. i want to be more to them than nanny...kwim? i guess him being there is how we set those limits since they used to be on me all day.
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#7 of 10 Old 12-31-2005, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone

Katebleu: I took your suggestion and told her that the "me me's" were sleeping and it actually worked!!!!!!!!! I put my finger to my lips and said "shhhhh the me me's are sleeping" she looked at me and put her finger to her lips and said "shhhhhh sleeping me me's? I said "yes" and she walked away!!!!! It only bought me about 15 minuets but hey it worked!!!!


DoubleBirdies: Now I feel bad complaining!!! You are a supermama nursing two!!!!!

Thanks!!
Amy

Amy praying.gifbfinfant.gifslinggirl.gif familybed2.gif saynovax.gifsewmachine.gif crochetsmilie.gifWAHM to energy.gifElle 3/2/2004, joy.gifMeadow 12/02/2006, bouncy.gifAzaliah 4/09/2009, and baby.gif Olive 09/23/2011. I have been partners.gif married to my husband Bill since 2/22/03.....

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#8 of 10 Old 12-31-2005, 10:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla


It sounds like it may be time to set some limits with the nursing. You don't have to completely wean her in order to get a little space to yourself.
:

My ds was similar, and reducing some of the night nursing, and eventually night-weaning really helped. I got more sleep which made me more able to meet his daytime needs. We did it gently, talking about the sun going to sleep, it's dark now, everybody going to bed, "milkies" going to sleep, too. Similar to what pp suggested.
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#9 of 10 Old 01-02-2006, 11:16 AM
 
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I am really glad to see this post. I got online this morning to ask about the same thing. My 15 mo dd and I had a HORRIBLE night last night. The last few nights she wants to nurse all night. I am about to scream. We co-sleep and nurse on demand, so if any of you have advice on night weaning, pls lmk. I'm wondering if I should do that. I don't know if she will understand "milk" going to sleep.

Last night when I told her we were going to take a break from nursing (I usually sing the ABC song when she's been nursing a long time and say that after the song we'll take a break...that always works during the day...last night I tried for the first time in bed and she went insane). dd screamed and went completely nuts.

The end result is I'm really mad this morning. I know it's not her fault, but I'm very resentful of being nursed all night long.

Glad to see these posts so I don't feel alone. Any more advice, esp for nighttime, would be greatly appreciated.
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#10 of 10 Old 01-05-2006, 01:25 AM
 
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My advice is twofold. First, as pp said, try to spice things up at home. Get the finger paints out. Make some homemade playdough. Get some pudding and let her play in it on a cookie sheet. Lots of tactile stuff is what helps with my kids. Make some cookies or muffins and let them "measure" or dump the ingredients, and stir or turn on the mixer. I have found, especially when we're home a lot for a stretch, that keeping them busy really gives me a "nursies" break.

Next, pay attention to what you're doing when dc wants to nurse. Are you on the phone, reading, on the computer, sitting or standing in a particular place (at the sink, at the stove, at the computer, in a comfy or interesting chair?)? I have found three places in particular in which I settle that sets of the nursies radar INSTANTLY. I swear to god the child could be upstairs in a soundproof room, but if I slide back the chair to the computer, he instantly appears at my side. Same for my chair at the kitchen table or the comfy couch in the library. I think my placement definately triggers a reaction in him that causes him to nurse. Pay attention the next few days...and then try not to frequent the "comfort zones" for a while and see if that doesn't help to tone down the frequency. No, you don't need to nurse every five minutes for dc to be happy, healthy, secure. Attention and love can be given in other ways, along with sustenance, and they CAN still nurse quite a bit and not even miss the extra "nips".

Hope those suggestions help. Took me several months to figure all that out on my own!

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

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